blw...alternate theory(43 Posts)
I was just googling about baby led weaning, (i tried starting it from the get go but hasnt gone very well.) My lo doesnt nibble at all and only bites off huge chunks and has nearly choked - not gagged - twice. Hence me hardly giving finger foods for the moment. He can even bite through a raw carrot stick and only has 1 tooth!.
Anyway, the argument for blw is that its the most natural way to introduce baby to eating etc....but is it? Not bashing etc and if it works for you great, but surely its more natural to help baby eat. If you were in a tribe in the wilderness what you would surely do is chew food first before giving to baby, like alot of animals do, food is 'mashed' in effect. ?
Whatever works for one baby may or may not work for another. You are the best judge of what is working for your baby. There are a huge number of books out there to tell you that you have been doing it all wrong and half of them contradict the other half. Best to ignore whatever fad is currently most fashionable and go with your instincts.
Yes definitely agree. I think the best thing you can do is see all the different options, try a few and see what suits you, and more importantly, baby, best.
It's up to the baby, whatever is most comfortable and easy for them. Mine wouldn't let me put a spoon anywhere near her mouth so I had to give her food that she could go at herself, the alternative to finger food for a spoon refuser is force feeding which is not really a sensible option. I saw a woman at a cafe hold a babies nose and shove a spoon in while it cried, I wanted to kick her I really did! It doesn't have to be complete solids from the start, they can still have mashed foods they just eat it with their hands. I don't really like the label blw though, you can't really follow any 'regime', just whatever the baby will allow.
Snoz thats awful i cant understand why you would hold a babies nose!
BLW is just the current fad.
It's not natural or better. It's just in fashion at the moment.
Nothing wrong with purées and spoons.
Lots wrong with choking.....
But I agree with you. It's normal to look after your baby, not to let it fend for itself.
But even if you do blw/finger foods you don't give a baby raw carrot?!?! You give them cooked carrot sticks that turn to mush in their mouth. Of course they will choke if you try to start them on raw carrot!!
I was just too lazy to purée food tbh. My friend mushed food up and still has to at 14 months as her dc has aversion to lumps now. I know two actually like this.
My ds didn't choke once during weaning as I steamed veg til soft and he nibbled and mushed with his gums and teeth. He gagged a bit though.
Do what you and your baby feel comfortable with not what's 'in'
I thought BLW was a bit of a fad. I watched as my friends baby just wasted a lot and picked at bits. So thought I'd try something different.
At first I offered basic purees etc. Then I started including bits of finger food like toast. Then I started giving him what we had, but blitzed up into a mush. Eg fish pie, spam Bol. Worked for most meals. I liked this as it meant he had what we had and it was cooked from scratch and was tasty, unlike the pouches which he always turned his nose up.
Gradually I swapped from pureeing completely and just mashed. Since he was about 10 months old I haven't had to mash anything really.
At 18 months he is a great eater, eats whatever we have and uses cutlery like a pro.
That's what worked for us!
Yy mrsherculepoirot definitely no raw carrot! 3 weeks into blw here and going well overall. Agree 're regime and following instincts. I have tried giving a helping hand /spoon but my lo having none of it. No real gags at all and it's amazing to see how he's already chewing, ejecting small pieces and catching with one hand what he dropped with another.
I think it's nice to let them touch their food and play with it a bit, it's all completely new and strange so having a feel of the textures and smells is all positive. I wouldn't call it fending for themselves, it's hardly leaving them to raid the cupboards for pot noodles.
I think most people do a mixture and offer purees alongside fingerfoods, I don't know why there needs to be labels or anyone has to make a choice. Cook some food, mash it up or don't, whack it in front of them, help them if they need/want you to, job done!
R.e raw carrot - i had tried a cooked carot, which was worse as he gumed a huge bit off and it slipped down his throat. The raw carot wa simply to bite on to help teething rather than to eat and i watched him like a hawk...hence why it was promptly taken off him when he bit right through it!
Yes im just kind of winging it/doing what seems best for us, i pureed things for a couple of weeks but switched to lightly mashed food very quickly. Ds has whatvwe have too, just with no salt etc. Like sheparps pie, salmon potaoe and carot etc and stewed fruit and yogurt or fruit chopped very very small so i can either spoon or ds uses pincer grip. I let ds play with food and feed himself, just with smaller bits which seems to work for me atm.
How did he cope with the bit that went down his throat though? Was he ok? The gag reflex really is incredible and I have seen more popping out than going down because of it. Of course do what you're most comfortable with.
I think it's so damaging and unhelpful to preach the one 'true way'. I'm sure our ancestors did lots of things. Some mushing up foods, some waiting til babies could self feed. Different babies responded to different things and humans thrived regardless.
Respect your intuition, your knowledge of your baby and don't be afraid to experiment. There isnt a right way, just the way that works for you.
I doubt there was ever One Single Natural Way that our ancestors fed their babies - it probably varied hugely depending on what that community usually ate? There is a theory that kissing evolved from the act of pre-chewing food for babies, though!
But I agree with you. It's normal to look after your baby, not to let it fend for itself.
I gave my DD7 a raw carrot to chew on when she was teething (didn't like frozen chewy things) worked just fine. My ds is 4 mos and
we're starting at 6mos dont panic!! I cant properly remember how I weaned my DD (I'm sure I pureed and did a bit of blw) so I'm fascinated by the whole thing.
motherigloo isn't that just traditional weaning?
I agree with you in a way op - but blw works really well for some people and - our version of it - definitely did for us.
I did read a lot about weaning before I started and 'traditional' weaning (purees, baby rice etc) just sounded like a ball ache for me and pretty unnecessary. Everyone I know thinks babies need bland, liquidised food to begin with, but you can pretty much start them on anything. DS's first food was a slice of toast and a banana, and I got a right telling off from my family about that because it was 'too much for his stomach, too full of flavour which will upset his stomach and he will choke'
He never has choked, he's gagged about twice and he's never had an upset tummy. I think there's a lot of myths about weaning that are just bullshit tbh. But if people want to fuss about with purees and lumpy mashed food etc that's upto them - I think some people really enjoy that process - it's just that it's not essential to do it that way.
Personally I found it easier to just share whatever I was eating with him, whether it's a sandwich, a piece of fruit, or some of my lasagne. But I have a fair bit of time on my hands and no other children to look after, maybe if I had another DC I wouldn't have the time to spend while DS pisses about with a yoghurt for half an hour.
I do have a friend whose baby wasn't into the idea of self feeding at all, and wants everything presented on a spoon or held out for her, so I don't think blw would have worked too well for her! DS on the other hand won't let you try to put anything in his mouth for him, so doing the whole puree and spoon thing would drive me nuts. They're all so different, that I don't think a one size fits all method of anything will work when it comes to parenting.
There was a thread a little while ago and I said the exact same thing the instinct to help your baby eat is natural and im also sure that in a tribe they'd chew the food up! Glad im not alone in my thinking I did try blw by the way, the more I thought about it the more I realised it was wrong it tells you to sit on your hands when your child is struggling which is going against every maternal instinct it just cannot be right! Allthough I do still feel intrigued by it
I did BLW, no purees, no spoon feeding. I find it really off that people can say that to do so must mean that you ignore all your maternal instincts, and that it must be wrong. You didn't like it and it felt wrong for you and your baby, that's all.
Gagging is not the baby struggling, it's a normal part of learning to manipulate food in their mouths. Most babies gag, the food comes forwards and is either spat out or the baby tries again. My DS was not even remotely distressed by this process, and I would never have left him in distress and "sit on my hands".
BLW doesn't mean letting the baby choke and giving them inappropriate food. My DS has never choked on anything.
As for "its normal to look after your baby, not let it fend for itself"... Well, obviously I agree with that sentiment, who wouldn't? But I'm quite sure you can't apply that to BLW? It's one approach to weaning, that many people do. It's not neglectful and it doesn't involve letting a baby fend for itself, clearly. The baby self feeds, that's the only part they do for themselves. They self feed from appropriate food, sat in a highchair, just like anyone else's baby. There are several reasons for self feeding, to do with exploring the food, manipulating it, practising fine motor control, and the baby eating what it wants at its own pace. It's absolutely fine to disagree with those ideas and prefer to spoonfeed instead, but it's just ignorant to refer to BLW as letting babies fend for themselves.
people aren't saying that culture - one poster, summer has said that - everyone else is saying stuff along the lines of try different things, see what works, blw doesn't work for everyone. If it was right for you then of course it wasn't wrong but there are plenty of blw advocates who make it their business to make people like the OP feel bad for using purees.
'I was all for blw...my baby wasnt lol.'
^This for me too.
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