20mo won't eat solids, bf All. The. Time

[TychosNose]

Ds feeds constantly. Like a newborn he's on the boob for hours through the day and night. I've tried to refuse/distract but he persists, pulling at my top and will end up crying if I don't feed him.

He hardly eats any solids so I guess he's really hungry because he's pretty active in between feeds. I haven't weighed him but he seems to be developing normally otherwise, though doesn't speak much.

I have no idea what to do. I'm on my knees with exhaustion and sleep deprivation and suffering from pnd.

I'm desperate to cut down bf but I can't battle with him all the time so I just give in and feed him.

Any advice greatly appreciated!

[Whattheactualeff]

Does he have cows milk?

[TychosNose]

He will sip cows milk but not enough to replace a feed.
I also tried formula because it's sweeter but he was the same. Just sipped then asked for bf.

[Whattheactualeff]

I would try and be really firm and just give him cows milk during the day but bf at night ten slowly reduce it down. And try and give him a cup of milk with his food so he gets used to them both together

[TychosNose]

Thanks for your reply.

I'll start giving him cows milk with his food. I haven't tried that.

I'm not sure I can stop bf in the day because he's asking for it very frequently and won't be told no and I find that very hard.

[CultureSucksDownWords]

How do you stop him doing other things that are undesirable? Can you use the same techniques on the undesirable breastfeeding behaviour?

[Drladybird]

Do you go to La Leche League meetings (if you have them locally)? You'd probably find a wealth of support from bf mothers there.

Babies/ toddlers bf for multiple reasons- comfort, hunger, thirst etc. Are there certain situations where he is less likely to want to bf? e.g. if you are out at a playgroup/ outside? Perhaps you could try to offer longer feeds when he wants them and then try to stretch the time between feeds by going to places/ situations where he doesn't want to f all the time. Could you try to offer him dairy type healthy foods that he likes in the first instance- yoghurt, porridge? and then you'd be satisfied that he wasn't hungry when he asks to bf. This might give you a more strength/ confidence to say no during the daytime. Hopefully this will then start to switch the balance of where he gets his calories from during the day.

[TychosNose]

Thanks drladybird
I don't go to any LLL meetings. I live quite rurally but there maybe some in my nearest city- I'll investigate.

I do try to offer food before letting him bf most of the time but he tends to just have a little snack of food then want to bf anyway.

He does feed less when we're out and about i think. I'm finding it difficult to go out much atm but I guess I should try to get out more.

culture I usually just say no and remove him from the situation (he likes to climb for eg) but I can't remove him from me! So he's always pulling at my top and crying whilst I'm saying no. I have no other discipline techniques.

[CultureSucksDownWords]

I would decide how many times a day you're happy to feed eg first thing, mid morning, mid afternoon and bedtime or whatever you prefer. Then if he pesters for a feed in-between you can tell him "it's not time for that now" and then distract him as much as possible. Change where you are and what you're doing, be playful and silly, and if he keeps asking then repeat your phrase and try another distraction. So if you're sat down with him, stand up and do something where you're both moving. Chase him, tickle him, play peekaboo, put some music on and do a crazy dance - anything to distract him. The thing is, you've got to be absolutely resolute about not feeding him when you don't want to, and not give in.

[Drladybird]

It seems that you are finding it really difficult at the moment- if you can't find a local LLL group then what about calling the LLL helpline? In my experience, I've always had a sympathetic and helpful lady at the end of the line and they've always provided me with the support I need or pointed me in the right direction (helpline is 0845 120 2918).

Other suggestions from me: can you get more support from your partner/ close friend/ relative to have some time for yourself and recharge a bit? Try to do nice things together with your child (e.g. something that you and he will like to do), bf whilst laying down and get a nap at the same time as bf.

Also I meant to say well done for breastfeeding for 20 months. It's not always an easy journey and hopefully you feel proud to have done so.