Help i'm soo stressed about 8 month old's eating

[unyummy]

My dd is nearly 8 months, we started weaning at 6 months. We got off to a fairly slow start as almost straight away she started grabbing the spoon and playing with it and not taking much food in. I know this is fine at the beginning but a few months on she's still hardly taking any food.

She will really go for the first few spoonfuls and then loses interest, looking everywhere but me and her food, batting the spoon away, refusing to open her mouth etc. She does like to hold things herself and has eaten cheese strips, brown toast, banana and dried apricot with relish. But a large part of every other meal is thrown away and mealtimes are taking up to 45 mins and huge amounts of patience as i keep waiting and trying again. I'm doing my best to keep smiling and positive but last night i lost it and screamed at her in frustration which shocked me and of course her. I really dont want to be this stressed about it and to pass on bad associations but..

I am bf and just so confused by the contrasting advice i read on blw and more conventional guidelines as to whether or not she'll be ok in terms of nutrition at this age, on breastmilk and little bits of solids. It doesnt help that she is quite small, which wouldnt bother me as her weight is constant and she's really bright and active, but its not very reassuring when she's not really eating much. What she is eating is all healthy, just not much of it! Anyone got any words of wisdom?

[Spidermama]

One of my BFed babies didn't really bother with solids until he was 11 months old. Another only really started at ten months. As long as your baby is having milk there's no need to worry.

If you can, it would be a really good idea to take the stress out of mealtimes. How about stopping altogether for a bit. She's still fine at this age on just milk.

[unyummy]

Sorry i should have added that i'm not looking for advice on blw, i've read absolutely loads about it and it sounds great but not for me, we're doing both finger foods and spoonfeeding and it works better in terms of mixture of foods. She doesnt dislike being spoonfed, just wont take much...

[ledodgychristmasjumper]

Don't worry my ds only took properly to solids at 10 months now at nearly 12 months he eats loads. Just relax she'll do it when she's ready.

[ilovecaboose]

Stop if it is making you this stressed.

If she is fine and healthy then there is no need to worry about it. Her milk intake is the main thing anything else is an extra/bonus.

You need to relax around the issue of food or she will pick up the stress and may develop issues about food.

If she only wants a few mouthfuls, then just give her a few mouthfuls. Then put the rest away and mealtime is over. Don't worry about it really.

Some babies take a while to get used to or interested in food. It really is nothing to worry about from a health perspective.

Pull back and chill out.

[nearlythree]

My dd2 never ate puree, all she wanted were finger foods. I'd just give your dd things she can hold and eat for herself - pasta shapes, cheese, fruit and vegeatble sticks, toast, pitta bread, strips of ham if you eat meat etc.

[Notquitesotiredmum]

Just echoing the last comment. Both of my boys were breastfed and only played with solids until they were at least twelve months old. But then I was happy to keep b-feeding (good job as they were both boob obsessed for a long while).

Work with what suits you. I was reassured by the fact that they were active, growing and healthy and taking in very few calories from solids. (I never gave them extra iron either.) I let them try different foods which we were having, getting them used to different tastes etc, and let them set the pace. When they started nursery two days a week at 12 months they were fine eating there, but wouldn't eat much if I was at hand. To be honest if I had needed them to eat more solids I would probably have had to cut right back on the bfeeding, as they showed no signs of self weaning. We took the easy way out (particularly as I hate throwing away food I - or anyone else - has cooked. Favourite bugbear of mine). Go with what suits you both.

[Notquitesotiredmum]

Oops - nearlythree slipped in whilst I was echoing the previous poster. All good advice though. Hope it helps.

[tribpot]

My ds is very similar, still is at 17 months. Eats beautifully for his childminder but we struggle to get much more than porridge, banana, toast and yoghurt into him. (Not all at the same time!)

You've done really well in keeping going for so long, I regularly just called it a day when he was that age. We got to the point where we lavished praise on ds for every mouthful and now he applauds himself each time he has a Shreddie

As the others have said, chill. If she only has a few mouthfuls at each meal she's still getting into the habit of regular mealtimes, which is something we've never really got the hang of with ds.

[Ellbell]

I second what everyone else says. My dd1 was a horror with food (right up till she was about 4 - she's fine now) and it became such a huge stress for both of us that I am sure I made it worse for ages. I would just keep on doing what you're doing... let her feed herself as much as possible if that's what she likes, and give her as much as she wants of purees/yogurt/whatever, but don't push it. Also, rather than meals taking 45 minutes, you could try spreading solids through the day a bit more. So don't try for breakfast, lunch and dinner, but have small snacks every 3 hours or so (a bit of toast, a yogurt, a few bits of fruit, whatever...). She'll start eating 'proper meals' eventually, but she's too young for you to set a pattern of 'snacking' for life (IMHO), and it might take the stress out of it. I can well remember the hour-long battles of wills between me and dd1 over food. It was awful and I thought I was the only Bad Mother whose child wouldn't eat 'normally' (i.e. like it said they should in the books). Wish I'd known about MN then! Oh, and my dd was small too (small at birth and took about two years to 'catch up') but if your dd is bright and active then she is clearly getting enough nutrition. Good luck.

[DizzyBint]

unyummy- so she doesnt like the spoonfeeding bit but she likes to feed herself? then why are you not going down the blw route? as long as she's still having all her milk it sounds like the easier option for you. you won't have to sit getting cross with her and with yourself..you eat your food, she eats her food. end of.

[Ellbell]

Whoops... not disagreeing with tribpot. Just thinking back to what I did at the time and what I'd do differently now, and I definitely think I wouldn't strap dd into her highchair day in day out at mealtimes and go through the same old rigmarole... I'd try something different and try to take the stress out of it.

[Ponka]

Like others say, try not to worry. She'll get it when she's ready.

You've probably already heard this but have you tried giving her a second spoon to play with whilst you feed her with one? My DS always likes to grab the spoon out of my hand and then bang it on the table so it helps me to do that. Are you feeding her while she is hungry but not ravenous?

[unyummy]

Thanks all, you're right I do need to relax and will try to do so.. i am fine really until i read any book on what the average 8 month old "should" be eating or see my friends babies wolfing everything down (or read about babies on mnet spoonfeeding themselves yoghurt at 7 months!!) And i've been ill which means i'm knackered and patience in small supply.

I have really considered blw but to be perfectly honest i'm a bit too much of a worrier (can you tell?!) for it really- plus a lot of the food me and dh eat just isnt' right - dont want to bore on about all the reasons but just to say i have thought about it!

Its also about throwing food away as i hate waste but i guess that's just part and parcel of having a little one isnt it!!

[DizzyBint]

i bet your friends who have kids that wolf their food down have 'issues' with other things that you find incredibly simple, be it bed time, bath time, play time, whatever.

[Tatties]

I found the advice here very reassuring when I was going through this stage with ds. Your dd will eat more when she's ready, she's obviously very content on bm just now

[unyummy]

Thanks tatties, i had quick glance and that is really reassuring, got to go out now so wont be online til this pm now but all posters advice is great, i feel better already! Think i'll stick to the highchair and three meals thing as she does like sitting in it, and i like having her at the table when we eat. Up til last night I havent let on that i'm stressed and she's not upset, just disinterested so hopefully she'll just start taking a bit more at her own pace.

[nearlythree]

I'm not a fan of blw either, it was my dd2 who decided that was what we were going to do! If you take the size of your dd's fist, that is about the size of her stomach - she won't be able to fit that much in!