Weaning worries!

[SueH17]

Hi,
My DS is 7 months this week and still wakes every 1-2 hours every night as he did from birth! At night we co-sleep safely and he will kick me in the stomach when he wants to feed (nice to be wanted!!). I co-slept with him since we got home from hospital as I had a bad tear and episiotomy and could only comfortably B/F on my side. We tried to move him out of his cot after 3 months co-sleeping but have just given up and now he is back in our bed, as it was exhausting having to get up to feed him every 1-2 hours every night! I must admit it is nice to have some sleep again!
I exclusively B/F and he feeds to sleep. I have been told by the latest HV that he should only have a milk feed every 3 and preferably 4 hours and in between he should be offered a snack. We started weaning at 5 months after pressure from family to get him onto solids. At the moment, he would rather have a milk feed than a solid feed and screams when I put him in his high chair. I try B/F'ing him before a solid feed and he is ok but will only take about 3 tsps of porridge, etc. I'm happy he actually seems to enjoy feeding himself with a spoon or finger feeding, but there's no way he is showing any signs of dropping milk feeds. Should I just leave him to do his own thing, or should I try and follow the HV's advice and refuse to feed him. I haven't even tried this as it is too heart-breaking listening to him cry.
Has anyone else had any similar experiences??
Thanks.
Sue xx

[fledermaus]

Ignore the HV and do whatever works for you.

[SueH17]

Thanks for the advice fledermaus - straight to the point which I love!:)
I have to say demand feeding and not expressing/bottle feeding does work for both of us. I have been advised all so many different things by different HV's, but at the end of the day, doing what feels right to you is the key. I think alot of things are only an issue if you make them one!

[Amyellow]

Bless you Sue that's really tough going. I second fledermaus - just nod at the HV to get her off your back, and then do what works for you and LO. DD fed every 2 hours for about the first 3 months, so we also ended up sharing a bed to maximise sleep... felt a bit ashamed at the time, and worried I was setting up bad habits, but looking back I wouldn't have been able to function on any less sleep. Whatever you need to do to get through.

DD is 9 months now, sleeps in her own cot, and has about 5 milk feeds a day. Not really interested in solids though (which is why I'm on this topic a lot at the moment!)

Just a thought, and really don't want to worry you, but is there any chance of a tongue tie? DD had a posterior one (not obvious) and after it was snipped she slowly began to lengthen the time between feeds.

[SueH17]

Hi Amyyellow, thanks for your msg. I've heard of tongue-tie but not sure what it is exactly. I've told loads of HV's about his frequent feeding but they haven't mentioned it. He still feeds on demand and all the advice to space out feeds hasn't worked as I can't leave him crying when I think he's hungry/thirsty. He will take solids but only small amounts. But then his poo has certainly changed and shows he's taking solids so it must be working. If I had to go back to work any time soon, I'd have to force weaning off the breast now, but I've been made redundant so have been lazy about the whole weaning thing!

I feel the same as you did when you bed-shared. I was made to feel really guilty about it, but we always made sure he was/is safe. Like you say, you do whatever you have to do to get through. I couldn't have gone on with so little sleep. In fact, it was going on holiday that did it as DS slept in with me in my bed whilst my OH slept in another room! It was the best sleep I've had for 3 months so when I got home, it was straight back in the bed with him. But I felt I had gone backwards by 3 months!

That's great that your DD sleeps in her own cot. Did you find it hard to get her in to the cot? How come she's not interested in solids? Maybe she's like my DS in that he's B/F crazy!!

[Amyellow]

DD's tongue tie limited her tongue movement, so it was really hard work for her to feed, which is why she had to do it so often. She had really noisy sucking, and often fell asleep on the boob. She also had a little heart-shape to the tip of her tongue, which is fairly typical. It was actually diagnosed by a breastfeeding advisor when she was 4 days old - I kept mentioning it to HVs and GPs, and they all said: oh well, she's breastfeeding so it can't be that bad. I finally snapped when she was about 10 weeks, and I'd been feeding her endlessly all day - I rang the HV and told her to get me an appointment! Got it snipped a week later, and the ladies who did the procedure said they could see it had really been limiting her. Things improved after that, and she started to go longer in between feeds.

It took a while to get her sleeping in the cot, because I didn't want to leave her to cry - so it was lots of little steps over a couple of months. To start I had her cot next to my bed with one side down, so she was still within reach. It did mean I had to stay awake while she fed so that I could put her back in the cot each time, but by then she was only having 1-2 feeds per night, so it was doable.

She's bottle fed on high calorie milk now, and still doesn't gain weight very fast. I think she's just not that bothered about food, either milk or solids. She'd rather be rolling around and chatting to herself!

[SueH17]

Hi Chunderella, thanks for saying he's doing ok. You're right about the HV's. I'm relieved that he still can have mostly milk in the first few weeks of starting solids as I love B/F! I was supposed to be spacing out feeds more as part of the weaning process and am supposed to be leaving it 2 hours between milk feeds but when he screams I can't ignore him and he gets what he wants every time (much to my mum's disgust!!)

[SueH17]

Hi Amyellow, It must have been such hard work with the endless feeding and not knowing what it was. Can't believe the HVs and GPs missed it! It was just as well you forced the issue and got it sorted. Poor little thing! I've checked my DS's tongue for a heart-shaped tip and he seems ok. He's probably just a hungry baby.
DS is also supposed to be in a cot next to the bed and 3-4 months ago I decided he was no longer co-sleeping but going in his own cot. There followed months of getting him out of his cot into the bed to feed every hour or 2 every night and often getting him back to sleep after feeding was impossible. So in the end after he slept in my bed on holiday, he was back in the bed! I dare not tell the HV!!