why is he suddenly doing this?

(9 Posts)
cleoowen Thu 12-Sep-13 13:31:52

Ds is coming up to 9 months old and we have been doing purees mostly with some blw too. He was a great eater and are everything. I tried to do a wide variety of things and he would gobble spoon after spoon until the big tubs were gone. My Nct friends were amazed at how good to he was.

Then few Weeks ago he started getting harder and would throw his arms around and not open his mouth. But I found if he saw me eating it or I managed to get some in his lips he would them think umm this is nice and eat it no problem.

However this no longer working and he refuses the spoon. I dread most mealtimes now. He refuses the veg purees which I made more of because he loved them so much. Or after a battle will have a few spoonfuls where he's opening his mouth in anticipation for the good and then after a few for no reason will refuse anymore. Yet when I give him something sweet like yoghurt he will gobble it up and cry when it's finished. I tried making other purees as thought perhaps he wants more variety but apart from one which he happily ate he refuses them all.

I really don't understand why. Several people have said teeth which could be true but then sometimes he will take the spoon.

I really don't want to do blw. I don't like not knowing how much he's had and he used to eat a big tub of puree yet has hardly any if done in chunks. I think surely this can't be enough if he wanted s whole pot of puree.

I am so frustrated I end up getting angry with him (obviously not hurting him) and have forced the spoon into his mouth which I know is wrong. I feel like I ve done something wrong with his weaning.

cleoowen Thu 12-Sep-13 13:35:44

Btw have been mashing food and so wondered if he was struggling with this so went back to purees, he ate the puree first time I thought,great problem solved, but after that he didn't.

ExBrightonBell Thu 12-Sep-13 13:53:09

Please please don't force feed him, no matter how cross you get. Walk away and take a moment to calm down instead.

Mealtimes should not be a battle, or make anyone cross or upset - either you or your ds. That way lies having long term issues with food. Really try to hide your emotions around mealtimes as your ds will pick up on them.

I know you are not wanting to do BLW but if you ds won't take a spoon then you may not have much choice. Even if you were just doing spoon feeding, you would have to be offering finger foods and also gradually getting him to feed himself.

Could you try a day of letting him feed himself, and see how you feel about it one day at a time? You may be surprised at how much goes in. You could try giving him a loaded spoon and see if he will feed himself that way.

You have not done anything wrong at all - babies are all different and go through different stages. Keep trying different strategies, and try to keep your worry and stress away from mealtimes themselves. At 9 months he is presumable still having a fair amount of milk (breast/formula) so he will be getting good nutrition from that. Food is only complementary alongside milk up until 1 year old.

cleoowen Thu 12-Sep-13 16:07:48

Thanks ex, yes I know I need to try and keep my emotions in check. Today I tried three different new purees and he would have none of them and the freezer is full of them all so it's just so frustrating.

Sometimes he's fine but mostly not so I know he could have spoon. He's started crying as soon as I put him in his seat now which I know isn't good and at breakfast was crying between mouthfuls even though he was enjoying it.

Tried giving him the spoon but just crabs food on it and throws it around or shakes spoon, whereas if I put some in my hand and give it to him he ll take it.

Yeah, maybe should just do blw as not going to be on purees forever, but want him to learn using a spoon.

Just worried not getting enough as used to eat whole big tub of puree, but for lunch only had two chicken balls and a peach. Plus the mess is unreal.

ExBrightonBell Thu 12-Sep-13 16:47:44

Are you sure it's not teething pain? The description of breakfast with the crying between mouthfuls does sound a bit like tooth pain.

Also, about learning to use a spoon, I did BLW from 6 months and my ds (now 14 months) has learnt to use a spoon with no problems. I just started giving him his own spoon and gradually he used it himself. Maybe give your ds a spoon with every meal just for him to hold and play with so he gets used to it. He may start to try and use it, or be more receptive to a loaded spoon as it's not so much of a novelty.

Your ds's lunch doesn't sound too bad in terms of volume (don't know how big chicken balls are but assuming a reasonable size), after having breakfast as well. Some babies eat a lot less than that I think. Maybe it might be worth keeping a food diary for a week - it might show that over a longer timespan he is eating a reasonable amount.

I think mess is inevitable as at some point there will be a plate of food in front of them, meaning it could be tipped/thrown/put on head (my ds's favourite).

If you did go down the self feeding route, I would reassure you that it can take a few weeks before they start to eat in decent quantities. But from my personal experience plus that of friends who have done the same, when they get the hang of it they are good eaters.

Thurlow Thu 12-Sep-13 16:56:58

I hated weaning, it was definitely the worst part of the 1st year for me, so you have my sympathies!

Could you try a few approaches at the same time? So put him in his highchair with some food he can feed himself, and then try to spoon feed him at the same time, and leave a loaded spoon he can try himself.

All kids go through phases of eating loads v eating hardly anything. Though tbh his lunch sounds a pretty good amount for a 9mo!

It's hard to relax about food, but try and focus on the fact that if he is drinking plenty of water and still taking the recommended amount of milk, he will not starve himself. Try to relax and make mealtimes less of a battle. If he doesn't eat, he doesn't eat, but maybe before the next milk feed is due see if he will take some solid food instead.

cleoowen Thu 12-Sep-13 17:46:25

Thanks guys, will try and the finger food and puree bit. Also for his dinner I have him the spoon and a plate to play with and he loved it!

He woofed down cod and cheese puree so perhaps just being fussy. Interestingly that was after having teether and so I think maybe it is his teeth.

Any tips on teething stuff he never bothered with toys?

A food diary is a great idea as I think once I look at what he's eaten throughout the day I might think he's had quite a lot, rather than just focusing on each meal.

It's so hard to know how much is a decent amount with blw, especially when he was having three tubs a day before so it's reassuring you guys think that's a decent lunch.

Agree I should stop worrying as I too think milk is more important. He seems to have gone off that two though.

Thurlow Thu 12-Sep-13 20:28:28

If he is off his milk as well then he probably is teething or feeling a bit under the weather. I used to drive myself barmy with how much DD food and milk DD had had during the day but I've gradually calmed down a bit and really, as long as they are having plenty of fluids and their nappies are fine then everything is ok. Another tip I've picked up from here is to look at their food intake over a week, so if they do have a day where you barely get any fruit or veg in to them, don't worry as you might not realise that three days later they've eaten nothing but fruit and veg!

For teething those camomile powders worked wonders for us. Have you tried them? Maybe some of them or a cold teether before food will help?

It's so easy to get obsessed with each individual meal. Take a step back and look at their intake over a longer period and it is always better. But having done purees too, it does let you have a better idea of the amount they have eaten than blw does, so it's easier to get caught up in the detail!

delasi Fri 13-Sep-13 22:44:00

9mo is a big developmental age - it's around this time that you have not only teething, learning/mastering crawling, possibly pulling up, cruising, and what can be quite a major sleep regression.

DS is 9mo and recently he only wanted to eat a few things (toast, tomatoes, satsumas!) when he used to eat a huge variety. We largely BLW, but I use a spoon for the odd yoghurt and fruit puree which he seems to like (after seeing him enjoy being spoon fed those I attempted pureed food out of curiosity, he really won't have it and thoroughly dislikes being fed by us!). So just to say that there are so many reasons for disruption to routine and fussiness at this age. We are just coming into a calmer patch now, but we've had 1-2 weeks of all day grizzling, not sleeping well, not wanting to eat/drink as much, needing Calpol and Bonjela, etc. He's now gone back to being much more settled but is still a little fussy with the food.

As above, food is for fun until one. Don't worry, make sure he has his milk, but less than normal doesn't mean not enough - don't quote me on this, but I think the recommended minimum per day is about 20oz? So as long as he's getting a fair amount, even if less than what he may have had before, then he's getting the nutrition he needs. This won't last forever!

As for BLW... well, it's so easy! The mess isn't that bad, dustpan and brush sorts it out straight away. DS has three meals, sometimes he eats the majority, sometimes not much at all. But he eats, and it has gradually increased since we started at 6mo, so by the time he gets to 1yo and actually starts to rely on solids for nutrition I reckon he'll be eating plenty smile

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