Feel like crying :(

(23 Posts)
JiltedJohnsJulie Fri 06-Sep-13 23:17:50

If you search Mn archive there are lots of threads on bottle refusal. just don't look to me for help on that one, mine were obstinant little buggers smile

Icklemariposa01 Fri 06-Sep-13 23:11:55

So!

I think we have lift off. Kind of. As as some you ladies have mentioned that it changes. But! With all your tips and wisdom that gave me confidence, yesterday and today DD has eaten her food with less protest and actually opens her mouth for me. She needs a bit of sleep before every meal and I put nursery rhymes from YouTube on the iPad on too.

So we shall see! I have stayed at home or local so that she doesn't miss a feed. Sooo now need to nail the feeding her from a bottle/cup/beaker/likeamummybirdfee dsherchicks of EBM or formula!! confused

Gonna try with Daddy first. But defo get intouch with BF people JJJ.

Wish me luck or u might see me in another post - titled - woman number 12,459 whose baby won't drink from a bottle etc....

Thanks everyone
X

Gurke Wed 04-Sep-13 19:32:01

Lots of good advice here already. Just want to add that my DS actually lost weight (rather than merely dropping centiles, which he did too) not long after I introduced solids. But reading up on it this is not uncommon, and LO's weight usually stabilises again after a while. I know how worrying it feels!

Hope you can relax a bit, and hope your LO is chomping away nicely.

JiltedJohnsJulie Wed 04-Sep-13 18:46:55

Totally agree with noble. Your HV seems to be giving you really poor advice. She shouldn't be telling you to up your DDs solids, this is gainst NHS recommendations. There are way more calories in BM than there are in most of the solids she has been eating, like pear and babyrice. So if your HV is concerned she should be looking at upping the bfing, not decreasing it.

Also, if she s concerned, she really should have measured her too. Just weighing a baby does not give you enough information to assess how the baby is doing.

What centile was she on and what centile is she on now? Was she weighed on the same scales by the same person?

If you are concerned about returning to work, do you want to continue with bfing? Will you be working full or part time? If you speak to a BFC on one of the bfing helplines she should be able to talk to you about your LOs weight gain, starting solids and help you come up with a plan for your return to work smile

noblegiraffe Wed 04-Sep-13 17:44:09

There has been a slight dip in the line and your HV is worrying you and saying you need another weigh in in two weeks? She is talking bollocks. Even the red book says only to weigh every month at most.

A slight dip in the line is perfectly normal, babies are humans not calculators who follow precise lines. Concerns should only be raised if your DD drops two centiles.

Icklemariposa01 Wed 04-Sep-13 17:23:13

Sorry! And more thing. Yes the HV hasn't measured DD. she is very long!!!

Icklemariposa01 Wed 04-Sep-13 17:19:41

P.s

Re:routine it's half baby led half me. At first I didn't have much of a rigid routine but my DD seems to thrive more on it (takes after her Dad!!)
If she hasn't had a feed then er nap she will be even more fussy with lunch and dinner time.

But it's not every day that she will go down for her nap. And timings of the routine always move as she doesn't wake up always at the same time every week. Last week it was six am. So far this week it's nearly 8am. So I just take it from there.

I really appreciate all your help! It gives me confidence that I so badly need!!!!

thanksthanks

Icklemariposa01 Wed 04-Sep-13 17:13:58

So yesterday and today DD has been "eating" rather than pushing with her tongue so that's a start but she still kicks off all the time. For the sake of it because when you look at her bowl she has taken more than half of it.

Sweet potatoe does seem the main veg that she will tolerate. But fruit like pears and apricots she makes a Popeye face so have tried to bland that down a tiny bit with baby rice.

HV said to up with the feeding and weaning and to go back in two weeks time and then to take it from there if no improvement hmm in the chart the line/dot has slightly dipped.

It's interesting JJJ that you should mention about the cup. I had considered something like that. As 1)going back to work in a couple of months and 2) I want to go out and about with DD to enjoy the last months of freedom with me and her!

I have thought of while I am out to give her:
- EBM in a bottle and then switch that to formula
- sippy cup or training cup with formula

But I just worry about what to do, all those details that confuse me. Do i take the bottle of EBM in a cooler bag, heat it up and then put it in the sippy cup. Do I just get the ready made Formula in a carton bung it into a sippy/trainer cup no heating. What about all the cleaning and sterilizing!! confused

As you can see I have managed to give her soley from the boob (yes and now social life for 6 and half months!!)

JiltedJohnsJulie Tue 03-Sep-13 20:24:31

Glad you are feeling a little better smile

Did the HV measure her height too? If she has actually lost weight rather than just drift down the centiles then your HV needs to measure her as well as weigh her so that you have a more accurate picture.

What did your HV say ickle? Was she concerned at all?

Totally agree with noble too. Its fine to offer her a top up feed before you nip out and then another feed when you get back. If you are finding feeding and going out an issue, how would you feel about expressing and offering her the ebm in a bottle or cup while you are out?

As for the weaning, its fine for her to have no solids at all at this age, so please don't worry about how much or how little she is eating. I'd give weaning a break for a few days and concentrate on getting more bfs into her but if you do want to offer solids, I'd only do this once or twice a day at most. The NHS only recommend moving to 3 meals a day between 8 and 9 months.

At 6.5 months she should be able to handle finger foods so try her with some more high calorie stuff like a strip of cooked meat, a wedge of cheese, eggy bread (white bread and fried in butter smile), cheese straws, strips of omellette or a savoury muffin. If you want to continue with the purees too, try mashed avocado and adding cream, mascarpone, butter or olive oil to your purees. Are you offering foods that have protein too? Mn has some good baby recipes here. The creamy chicken and baby Dahl look good smile

You might find so how do we get started with solids useful, especially the BM/solids diagram smile

When you say you try to feed and get her to nap at the right time, are you following a schedule from a book? Sometimes feeding to a schedule can interfere with weight gain. Letting baby control her own calorie intake by feeding on demand is recommended. Are you also bfing about an hour before offering solids, letting her come off the breast naturally rather than timed feeds and offering both sides at leat once during each feed?

Svrider Tue 03-Sep-13 15:26:56

Have you also tried eating meals that she can try??
Mashed potato, scrambled eggs, beans, mushy peas
Just let her put her hand in and put on her mouth

Also ensure YOU have plenty of rest and regular nutritious meals and lots of water and biscuits
Your doing fine smile

noblegiraffe Tue 03-Sep-13 13:49:13

Has she lost weight or just dropped a centile? So still gaining weight but not as fast as the book says? If its the latter I really wouldn't worry that much.

Don't feel you have to stick to rigid feed times, if you are going out and think she might be distracted, give her a top up feed before you go out and another when you get back.

And don't stress about solids, how much food she eats at 6.5 months isn't important, they are still just learning about food and how to eat.

peachypips Tue 03-Sep-13 13:41:38

Guilt can be a real trap. Always think about yourself as if you were your best friend. If your best friend wrote this thread what would you think/say?

That helps with perspective!

Icklemariposa01 Mon 02-Sep-13 22:43:41

Thanks so much for your support. It's been really interesting the advice and definitely will take this on board.

I feel a lot better now after reading all your postings. I think what really got to me was the point that DD had lost weight and I thought that with the weaning and the BF she had put on more.

when I got back from the HV and then giving her food and she was in tears I felt so bad. You know- why can't I feed my own daughter! - oh the guilt of motherhood eh!!!

Xx

peachypips Mon 02-Sep-13 22:28:18

P.S- it is very early days also- some babies will have only been weaned for two weeks at this age!

peachypips Mon 02-Sep-13 22:27:27

What purées have you tried? Sweet potato and pea purée went down well here as did mashed banana and avo (together).

However, you must not worry and try and relax. Don't let this become a fixation for you - it will make mealtimes tense and make matters worse.

DC will not starve! That is the main thing.

TwentyTinyToes Mon 02-Sep-13 22:20:50

Just another thought, i think they should probably be on just two meals a day until about 8 months so maybe skip lunch. Having said that, my DD went straight onto three Blw meals a day but mainly.because DS and I are eating anyway and she hates to miss anything!

cleoowen Mon 02-Sep-13 22:06:49

My ds got in the habit of refusing foods at the first mouthful just for the sake of it. I think it was a confidence thing. What worked well was putting a bit on my finger and putting it on his lips to start with. He would taste it and be like oh that's quite nice actually and then be ok.

Or I do very exaggerated eating of it in front of him smiling and making yummy sounds, letting him see me chew it, then I offer him the last bit on the spoon and he usually takes it. I do this a few.bb times and then just offer it to him straight away. It usually works.

TwentyTinyToes Mon 02-Sep-13 21:57:20

Sorry posted too soon...

She will get the hang if it. 6.5 months is tiny my DD is almost 8 months and doesn't eat much. She has tons of milk though so i am not worried. Good luck flowers

TwentyTinyToes Mon 02-Sep-13 21:53:27

Milk is her source of nutrition at the moment, solid food is just an extremely messy toy! Offer her milk as normal, follow her nap pattern as normal and three times a day sit down with her at the table and eat together. If she is asleep for a meal then just enjoy the peace and quiet. Offer her whatever you are having just take care to limit salt, i avoid particularly hard fruit and veg like apple and raw carrot (steamed or roasted good though) and i am not keen on sandwiches when they are little because i think soft bread is tricky to chew (toast is fine). Let her get on with it and eat your own. Clear away afterwards even if she has not eaten anything and keep offering milk.

MoonHare Mon 02-Sep-13 18:44:42

Don't worry, at 6.5 months she's still very little and all her nutritional needs are still coming from her milk feeds. As many a HV says; until they're one food is just for fun.

My DD is 10 months and has always refused to eat pureé of any kind, I've tried time and again but now just give her small amounts of whatever the rest of us are eating and she'll chew it and some goes in but most goes on the floor. The only thing of smooth consistency she is interested in is fromage frais. She's ebf too and I'm still doing about 5 feeds over 24 hours.

Your DD (and mine) will get there eventually, all babies are different. My eldest ate nothing but pureé til she was about 18 months - that was pretty frustrating too, the middle one was a dream, eating anything she was presented with - but she's now a very picky 2 year old.

I second the advice from Fetchez forget the purees and give her solid pieces of food to gnaw at instead. And try to relax, you are NOT letting your DD down.

DuckWaddle Mon 02-Sep-13 18:33:15

Weaning my dd was terrible too! She turned her head at pretty much everything and wouldn't let the spoon near here. I think she wasn't ready as a month later she started eating and now there's no stopping her! So my advice would be to try not to fret too much (I was nearly in tears on many occasions), just take the food away if she won't have it, don't press the spoon to her mouth- wait for her to open it. All easier said than done I know!!

Have you thought about giving baby-led weaning a go? I started with purées and baby rice, but then I tried DS on a steamed baby sweetcorn and he refused to countenance mush again after that. At 3.4 he's now a most enthusiastic eater of whatever you give him!

Icklemariposa01 Mon 02-Sep-13 18:22:53

I know I certainly not the first but I just can't nail it.

My LO is 6 1/2 months now and at 21 weeks we started weaning. She is EBF by the way. LO seemed fine taking the baby rice but then when it came to the puréed veg and fruit she doesn't really want to know!

Today we went to the HV centre to get her weigh and they said she had lost weight.

I am gutted because I thought she had put weight on!!

I try and BF her at the right time. Give her naps at the right time but when it comes to her meal time she just kicks off! Especially at dinner time. I always try and feed her with a smile on my face and make it fun!

I feel like I have it her down. LO's weight had always been average.

When we are out and about she is so nosey that she doesn't want to feed. So it's like she misses a feed so then I think -right then, can't really go out then for the day.

It's just feels so relentless. I can't give up on her but I just don't know what to do hmm confused

Xx

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