Just started BLW - seems to make DS slightly hysterical

(29 Posts)
snottagecheese Wed 07-Aug-13 22:05:16

DS turned 6 months a week ago and so I began BLW (which I also did with DD, now 4). The trouble is, as soon as I pass him anything to eat, or even just get him in the highchair, he starts to go kind of crazy, squealing and seeming sort of distressed but not exactly unhappy, if that makes any sense. I don't know if he's just frustrated, as in he wants to get the food in RIGHT NOW but can't, or just finds the new experience of being in a highchair and given food odd, or what. Certainly he often grabs the food like a starving man, but other times just doesn't seem to be remotely interested - but either way there's still the crazed squealing.

I don't remember DD being like this at all - if anything she was a bit bemused/uninterested for the first couple of weeks at least, probably longer (too long ago, I can't really remember!). I guess I just want to know if others have had this experience - if it sounds like a normal response, or if I'm doing anything wrong (I do try to avoid giving him food when he's tired, though once or twice I've wondered if this was the problem).

exoticfruits Thu 08-Aug-13 06:11:02

The answer is that it works perfectly for you. I am just against such hard and fast rules when it doesn't work and mothers get in such a state about it. If it is baby led and isn't going well the baby would probably prefer a purée and you could at least test it and see if the baby would prefer it.
It is no big deal. I loved the comment made by someone else on one of these threads - 'it is a spoon and not a bloody Exocet missile'!

InMyShreddies Wed 07-Aug-13 23:41:46

I'm pretty horizontal about both cake and chips anyway. DS18mo has had both in good quantities this weekend! Sweets and squash are my only no-nos.

InMyShreddies Wed 07-Aug-13 23:40:21

I'm sure you're right about future eating habits tbh. I'm just lazy and not the most patient, so it works perfectly for me! There are definitely days weeks where not much is consumed other than shite, but I feel less pressured knowing I'm constantly dishing up balanced meals. And it's honestly made me cook and eat more healthily myself as I don't want to serve crap.

exoticfruits Wed 07-Aug-13 23:36:55

If it really works like that I have no problems, InMyShreddies- however I think that in many cases the baby has the choice that mother presents- judging by threads on here when posters are horrified that their babies have been offered cake and chips etc!
I haven't a clue why offering something on a spoon is 'stuffing it in'!

The whole thing irritates me- it gets mothers in such a state and it really, really doesn't matter! Relax-it has no bearing on the future eating habits of your child.

The only good point that I can see is that it does away with commercial jars.

InMyShreddies Wed 07-Aug-13 23:29:27

If mil serves up choc gateaux then baby helps himself! Where's the issue? I'd probably then not want much more sugar for the next day or two so I wouldn't serve any. The whole point is that baby has what you do. Much more problems
Are caused by making such things forbidden fruits.

InMyShreddies Wed 07-Aug-13 23:27:11

BLW is about what goes into their mouth and how. It's about providing a balanced diet for yourself and the baby partaking in the experience. Putting stuff in the baby's mouth for him is not BLW. It works and is ace. It annoys me when people insist on spoon feeding as an essential part of the weaning process - babies are remarkably good at feeding themselves if you let them! They will not starve themselves.

exoticfruits Wed 07-Aug-13 23:19:30

Exactly no issue- have whatever you are having with it and help him with a spoon. People always managed perfectly well to give the baby whatever they were having without having labels. If MIL offered the baby chocolate gateaux there would probably be hell to pay- despite the baby choosing to eat it and wanting more! It is mother led- nothing wrong in that, people don't want others choosing what to give the baby. The baby simply decides whether to eat it or not- whatever it happens to be.
This is a very common thread- mothers get in such a state about it and it really doesn't matter! Relax- try them with whatever, it doesn't matter if they don't eat much, it doesn't matter if you try a purée - it doesn't matter if you don't have purées.

Cravingdairy Wed 07-Aug-13 23:13:19

You can give a baby pureed or mashed food while doing BLW. You can pre load spoons or just blob some on the tray, why not. The point is to let the baby take the lead, not to only give finger food.

InMyShreddies Wed 07-Aug-13 23:11:03

I'm not being disingenuous - if we were having soup, that is exactly what I'd plonk in front of baby?! I'd have bread and butter or maybe even cheese on toast with it anyway so what's the issue? As long as it's not too hot they'll get a taste of it.

exoticfruits Wed 07-Aug-13 23:00:15

Purée is the same- it is impossible to get it down if they don't want it and you don't have to do any double meal planning. Most meals have foods with different textures and consistencies. It seems ridiculous to all sit round eating homemade soup and yet the baby can't have it because , horrors, he has to have a spoon!

InMyShreddies Wed 07-Aug-13 22:58:06

The key is low expectations. Hysteria sounds like he's experiencing pressure- I could be wrong but if it's just 'here's something a bit different to play with' then there shouldn't be any issue. Doesn't matter whether he eats or not, as long as he's happy enough. If he's not sat in high chair before it's probably that.

Xmasbaby11 Wed 07-Aug-13 22:56:19

DD was a bit like this - lots of reaction but no interest in putting solid food in her mouth! She was quite happy for me to feed her apple puree etc.

I kept on offering purees and solids over the weeks and months. I'd say she wasn't keen on solids until she was at least 1 - she just played with it.

As others have said, you can only offer and see what the baby takes to.

InMyShreddies Wed 07-Aug-13 22:55:42

Purees seem very weird to me because I've only ever done BLW. I actually think of BLW as very adult friendly actually, there is not wiggle room for the baby at all - it's almost old school - here's food, eat it or don't eat it, it doesn't matter either way! If he makes a fuss, fine we leave it! grin Makes my life easy - no cajoling, no double meal planning.

Flatasawitchestit Wed 07-Aug-13 22:54:00

I also agree the HV seems a bit misinformed.

I'd feel milk 30m-1 hr prior to mealtime and take it from there.

Remember that not all babies are ready at 6m.

exoticfruits Wed 07-Aug-13 22:53:12

Of course they always did that, Jilted- it is hardly new! They also had purée. I eat stewed fruit, I like to mash my banana- why ever not? Why do they get banned for the baby?

TheBreastmilksOnMe Wed 07-Aug-13 22:52:34

Bloody autocorrect! I meant 'op' and 'dc'!

exoticfruits Wed 07-Aug-13 22:50:59

Do actually listen to the baby! I love the fact mother decides what and when the baby will eat and yet calls it baby led! Do what people always did, relax and try everything- don't ban foods because they need a spoon. It is a very, very short period- the aim is to get the baby to eat family meals and how you get there matters not one jot!

JiltedJohnsJulie Wed 07-Aug-13 22:47:41

Agree with BM. My dad was born in 1930 and he tells me that he and his siblings were given the end of the joint of meat to gnaw on when they were being weaned or things like a potato to hold. He's always thought purees, jars and pouches a bit odd.

InMyShreddies Wed 07-Aug-13 22:46:38

I'm a massive BLW fan and 'purist' grin - maybe try sitting him on your lap? I did that to start off with for DS. Meals consisted of me eating whatever I wanted to eat, and him examining and playing with it. Eventually he started putting some in his mouth. But the whole 'no pressure' thing is key with BLW - let them discover it all tastes nice in their own time. And don't do it before milk, do it an hour or so after, ideally - if they're hungry they'll get frustrated.

TheBreastmilksOnMe Wed 07-Aug-13 22:41:33

BLW has been around since the beginning of time, adagio, it's just that it's had a revival that's all. A caveperson wouldn't have a blender so giving a baby a drumstick or a piece of meat to gnaw and suck seems more likely and wouldn't create unnecessary waste or much mess. I do think your hv is misinformed.

To the opportunity I think your data might be frustrated because because he is hungry so I would try him with a small amount of milk first to take the edge off his hunger.

exoticfruits Wed 07-Aug-13 22:34:59

If it is baby led he is telling you he doesn't like what you are doing! Try purées - they are all different and he may prefer them.

adagio Wed 07-Aug-13 22:33:18

My LO likes to have something to hold (BLW styleee) but also when hungry/a bit tired/bored some assistance too - e.g. she holds the cucumber stick I spoon in some mash or fruit puree or whatever. I can't seem to spoon stuff into her without the distraction of alternate bites (well gnaws/slurps) of whatever she is holding as she steals the spoon, and is bloody quite strong. She won the fight when a petit filous was involved. It was messy. grin

My HV said that BLW is a very modern and western approach and babies also benefit from the nurturing of being fed so I prefer to do a mixed approach. In poorer places/olden days no one could afford BLW due to the amount of waste baby will create - this sounds plausible to me! I can't imagine a cave woman handing baby a drumstick and allowing them to get on with it as surely the family dog would end up with a rather more full belly than the baby.

JiltedJohnsJulie Wed 07-Aug-13 22:33:02

The two spoon trick could work. Also, is he having his milk roughly an hour before solids?

CountryMama Wed 07-Aug-13 22:31:48

Sorry finish that badly!! Just wanted to add that he turned 6 months last week too.

CountryMama Wed 07-Aug-13 22:30:48

With blw I have definitely not been a purist. I give my dc3 a choice of finger foods and feed him purée at the same time. He's just too hungry and frustrated but does enjoy feeding himself too. ( he tirned6 m

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