BLW & massive fear of choking. Please help!

[TheThirdHare]

I'll try and be brief! I've started to wean my (first) DC (6 months). We're BLW. She's not really "eating" much yet but loves putting everything in her mouth and tasting it all. Nappies show some evidence of digestion (e.g. Kiwi pits) so I guess she's eating some of it.

So far so good. The problem is me, not her, because I am TERRIFIED of choking! I've read all the books and they say babies are not anymore likely to choke with BLW. I guess this is true but when The Fear gets hold of me I start to doubt it!

It's quite odd really because on the whole my DH&I are very relaxed parents. So it's not like I'm generally an anxious person! DH gets upset with my anxiety and says I have to trust the baby (which is true!). I've already noticed my fear of choking upsets DC: earlier she was chomping away on a piece of toast and then I got scared when she bit a piece off and I took it away from her. Then when I gave it back she didn't want it anymore! Could be coincidence I guess but the thought of my DD assimilating my fears is awful. My mother and Gran were both excessively preoccupied with choking so I guess that's where my fear comes from, and I just desperately want to avoid this for my DC.

I am a rational and relaxed person with an irrational fear of choking. Is there anyone out there with a similar experience? Please give me some tips on how to cope, and save DD from this nutjob of a mother!

[ExBrightonBell]

Would it help to do a first aid for babies course? Or might that amplify the fear?

You may need to explore something like CBT, or maybe hypnotherapy?

I don't have The Fear myself, but I know that there is no point trying to say things like "relax, don't worry" etc. when you have an irrational fear'

[SusuwatariToes]

I was exactly like you. Generally not a nervous person but was convinced he would choke despite being able to reason that he probably wouldn't. In the end I gave up and switched to purées because I didn't want my anxiety to affect him. I feel kind of disappointed in myself because I really like the idea of BLW in theory so I hope you manage to get past it!

[SpooMoo]

You could download the red cross first aid app for babies, it has a good guide about what to do and it's free. Children's Centre often offer first aid courses too.

Gagging is different from choking, gag reflex is essential and you will find her using it! In babies it's nearer the front of the tongue than with adults. Choking - unlike gagging - is generally silent, so the more noise and coughing the better! Never try to take food out of a baby's mouth as you might push it down further.

[FannyFifer]

I was really enthusiastic about doing BLW with my child, however I really couldn't cope with it.
DD would just shove loads of stuff in at once or wouldn't bite a bit of banana, would just ram it in her mouth then gag etc.
Im a nurse and have done various courses in choking, CPR emergency first aid etc, but this really wasn't for me.
Sorry not what u want to hear. X

[TheThirdHare]

Hey again, Thanks for taking the time to reply and also thanks for your honesty! I can very much sympathise with those who were scared of choking and switched to puréed food: that's what I feel like on a day like this!
However my husband is keen on the idea of BLW (as am I in theory!) and most importantly, my dd loves it! On top of this I'm reluctant to quit something I believe in because of an irrational fear... I guess I was hoping people would tell me it gets easier over time, haha!

Thanks also SpooMoo for suggesting the App, I'll definitely get that! And ExBrightonBell I've thought of doing a first aid course before, I think that would help but last time I looked they seemed really expensive?! Ill have another look.

Thanks again guys!

[TheThirdHare]

FannyFifer eek if an experienced nurse couldn't crack the fear I don't think there's much hope for me! I appreciate the honesty though

[SpooMoo]

Oh it does get easier over time! At first they learn to put things in their mouths, then after a while chewing, swallowing, biting off chunks instead of stuffing it all in... Keep at it

[CornishYarg]

My local Sure Start centre runs free first aid courses, so I would ask if yours runs any. Or they may know of somewhere local that runs free or inexpensive courses.

[TheThirdHare]

Thanks Yarg I'll check that out!

After reading all your replies I am actually feeling a lot more relaxed! Today my baby had (well, played with!) some banana, apple pieces and a rice cracker. I'm proud to say I didn't confiscate any of it .

Thanks everyone for making me feel better!

[SpooMoo]

It's worth keeping at it. Today I went out for lunch and DD (9mo, completely BLW) ate sticks of cucumber, rice cakes, and from my plate: garlic bread, mozzarella, avocado, mushroom. No hassle, I got to chat and eat my meal at the same time. Those doing purees had to sit and spoon feed their baby first, what a faff.

[SusuwatariToes]

I'm very Spoo!

[Nicknamefail]

Babies can choke on purées too. In the UNCOMMON. Event of choking, it is easier to whack a baby on the back and dislodge a solid prices of food than sticky purée.

[TheThirdHare]

Wow Spoo that's really encouraging! I've relaxed a bit more in the last week and things have been going quite well. DC does seem to get very frustrated with the food sometimes (even though I bf beforehand so unlikely to be hungry...) but I guess that's a whole other thread.

nicknamefail yeah I know babies can choke on purées too, it's a totally irrational fear I guess...! It does help to remind myself of that though so thanks.

[Nicknamefail]

Well done for knowing it is irrational (my irrational fear is spiders. ).
Thank you for not taking my post in the wrong way because reading it back now it seems very pompous.

[TheThirdHare]

Haha not at all nickname, for a minute I was wondering if you were my dh, he tells me the same thing (about purées&choking) every time I have a wobble