A bit shocked.... AIBU

(47 Posts)
PastaDee Tue 01-Jan-13 21:50:05

I went to a friend's for lunch today. I took my 13mo DD a cream cheese sandwich (as i wasn't sure what they were cooking) and when I saw my friend's 10mo eyeing it up I said 'she can have some if she likes' and was promptly told there is no way the little girl could eat it as she would choke. This led to a discussion about what she does eat and I was told that at 10mo this little girl has only ever had vegetable purées with formula milk mixed in. Apparently they mixed some fish in once and she didn't like it.

I was quite shocked by this. I did BLW with DD and I'm lucky she is a good eater for the most part. Within my group of friends those who did purées introduced finger foods fairly early and all their children were eating protein and dairy long before 10mo.

I know it's none of my business and it's her DD so her choice but it can't be right to just have veg purée at this age can it?

ILoveSaladReallyIDo Wed 02-Jan-13 15:19:54

they will move on smile, and it all evens out and they all wanna live on fish fingers and chocolate soon grin

there are 10 month olds that still haven't developed much interest in food despite being offered a lot of variety either with BLW or puree and still prefer milk at that stage.. and they catch up too

PastaDee Wed 02-Jan-13 15:10:01

I know I am being judgy but it really isn't the puréeing that shocked me.... That seems a perfectly logical way to wean a baby. It was the fact that at 10 months the baby had never had anything other than vegetables and formula.

At 10 months I thought all babies had moved onto lumps, mashed food, pureed meat, porridge, yoghurts, a bit of toast etc regardless of how their parents chose to wean them. I accept I shouldn't have mentioned my own choices as they aren't that relevant.

I'd just never come across this before even amongst people who were very cautious about choking as at some point the diet needs to move beyond veg.

Think I need to reexamine my previous claim that other people's weaning choices are personal and try not to get too comfy in my new pants wink

RyleDup Wed 02-Jan-13 15:01:19

Oh dear, blw versus spoon feeding. Well Dc1 had purees up to a year old, and ds did blw (hate that term). Both kids eat just fine now and all by themselves too grin
I think you are being judgey op, theres nothing wrong with either method. People should do whatever they feel most comfortable with.

itsmineitsmine Wed 02-Jan-13 14:52:44

"I'll be as bloody smug as like thank you, feed my children v well, YOU seem to have a few ishoos though."

Lol! Nope, precisely no issues. I've never been one to get worked up about what kids do or don't eat, or to crow about what they do eat (I tend to stay away from people who crow about things like that IRL as it's usually a sign that they're terminally dull).

usualsuspect3 Wed 02-Jan-13 13:36:05

BLW was called finger food back in the olden days.

We didn't give it a fancy name so we could beat other mothers up over their choices.

usualsuspect3 Wed 02-Jan-13 13:35:11

Who cares really, OP you sound a bit smug.

ILoveSaladReallyIDo Wed 02-Jan-13 13:30:24

I don't know about cavemen hmm, I meant when we were babies! most of our mothers/grandmothers did BLW, it just wasn't called baby led weaning, it was just called giving the baby a bit of your food.

I didn't think BLW was the 'traditional' way - isn't there some evidence to suggest that we used to chew food up for our babies when we were cavemen? Or something like that?

It's a bit of a myth that purées lead to 'shovelling'. You can still follow your baby's cues even if you offer food on a spoon.

^^this. Have you ever tried to force feed a baby food from a spoon? Can't be done with my LO. If he's had enough, he turns his head away, clamps his little mouth shut, might push the spoon away. And cries.

Feelingood Wed 02-Jan-13 11:51:52

I'll enjoy my smuggery for now then!

Panzee Wed 02-Jan-13 11:13:29

I used to be all smug about my son eating all different types of food when we were weaning.
At 3 he eats a very small range of food. Cheese sandwiches and pasta. And not much chance of getting veg past his lips. So much for my smuggery! grin

ILoveSaladReallyIDo Wed 02-Jan-13 11:10:59

"Traditional weaning doesn't mean you puree and spoonfeed everything for months on end. It means you do pureed foods, mashed foods AND finger foods"

no actually BLW IS the traditional way, pureeing is relatively new, and BLW is just a new name for going back to the old way!

TheNewStatesman Wed 02-Jan-13 11:08:44

I don't know why this discussion has turned into a "BLW vs traditional weaning" argument (yet again).

Traditional weaning doesn't mean you puree and spoonfeed everything for months on end. It means you do pureed foods, mashed foods AND finger foods, and a 10mo would definitely be expected to be basically on finger foods and roughly mashed foods. Maybe you do purees-only right at the start, but not at 10mo.

That said, a few babies have medical issues which can lead to swallowing difficulties so they need a liquidized diet until a later age, otherwise they will eat no solid food at all. So I would be wary of judging unless I knew the whole story.

Feelingood Wed 02-Jan-13 01:19:26

I had not heards of it tbh til MW sat on this very sofa and told me about it when DD was a few weeks.

I never rad this much this time round, just stats to do with births and types of births.

CatPussRoastingOnAnOpenFire Wed 02-Jan-13 01:03:07

I think the fanatical BLW brigade are all barking personally!

Feelingood Wed 02-Jan-13 00:57:11

Yes two very different children here, DD will only let me spoon feed her until she's satisfied her initial hunger , it seems, then mews and cries until she gets the spoon, shouty cries and lots of fuss if she is not allowed to.

It's taking forever to help but not help to spoon feed her at the moment. She had mango and crackers for a snack this PM while I prepared dinner, it really handy she can feed herself finger foods. Readybrek (standard school morning breakfast) should be interesting next week!

I'm going to let her practise with some mash next week when it's just me and her in kitchen, I might even do some ironing!

Pancakeflipper Wed 02-Jan-13 00:51:02

I think you are right Feelingood, I had to learn to take my cue from DS2 on what and how to feed him. And I felt like a failure at first because I had got it so wrong and was trying for months to wean him a particular way. Certainly the opposite to his older brother.

Feelingood Wed 02-Jan-13 00:41:04

pancake my ds while he does not have reflux he does have a sensitive gag reflex, it's noted on his school record for lunch staff as there was a gagging incident last year. I'm glad I didn't do BLW with him back then, think he would have been a nightmare.

DD has gagged quite few times but she just clears it, but when she makes a little gag sound followed by nothing, as she has done twice, I have had to pat her back firm and sharp, it was apple so I don't give her this now till she has some more teeth.

I think you just watch and get to know your own child.

princessnumber2 Wed 02-Jan-13 00:40:58

I too have had vommers who gagged a lot and brought up the whole meal.

It's a bit of a myth that purées lead to 'shovelling'. You can still follow your baby's cues even if you offer food on a spoon.

Choking is rare but I know lots of people who happily do blw without any emergency first aid training at all.

When the consequences are so extreme, it's not that irrational to take precautions against rare events. I'm not that likely to get assaulted but I'd generally get a cab home rather than walk through a dodgy area at 2am.

harverina Wed 02-Jan-13 00:38:19

I lime the idea of blw but didnt have the confidence to do it the whole time - plus we were shattered and hoped that a little solid food would make my DD sleep for longer so we spoon fed some of the time.

Everyone does it their own way. Its rarely a question of right v wrong (though sometimes it is!) Most people take out bits and peices from the different advice they get and adapt it to suit them and theit situation. As long as their DC's are healthy, gaining weight and getting a balanced diet then it really doesnt matter smile

Feelingood Wed 02-Jan-13 00:35:07

I think thats right hervina I was worried about dd at one point as she seemed to be eating so much, her weight gain turned out to be fine. I do think you have to be careful for looking for cues when a spoon fed baby is full.

I'm not convinced about BLW tbh. But I won't get to try it again DD. is the last one for me. sad

Pancakeflipper Wed 02-Jan-13 00:31:33

My DS2 now 4, used to choke all the time. He also ate veg puree mush most of the time. You'd have had a whale of a time judging us at our dining table and wearing vomit splattered clothing if you'd have handed that cream cracker at him...

Actually we avoid people at eating times as it was such an off putting sight.

Turns out to be a reflux issue ( he still voms if he drinks or eats too quickly) and he has a food intolerance that we didn't suss out until he was nearly 2.

harverina Wed 02-Jan-13 00:30:55

I think that people are dismissive about choking as it is probably quite rare for a baby to choke? I was terrified of it and hearing my DD gag made me panic, even though i was assured so many times that it was normal!

Not sure why children who have been weaned using blw will be less fussy, but think that the idea is that they will regulate their own diet by eating what they want in front of them until they are full instead of their parents shovelling in all the puree until its finished.

Feelingood Wed 02-Jan-13 00:28:18

itsmine I was agreeing with op, re kids that age should be moved onto stage 2/3 foods if not following BLW, sorry it offends you that I used my own child as a point of reference.

I'll be as bloody smug as like thank you, feed my children v well, YOU seem to have a few ishoos though.

It means just that I don't be the fussy eater thing as I havnt experienced it with either of my children so far. Like I said they are fussy in other ways.

Jeez, you can put you weaning spoon down.....

princessnumber2 Wed 02-Jan-13 00:25:42

I don't get why people are so dismissive about choking. I know someone whose 10 month old died from choking on a small bit of chick pea in home made houmous. I have lots of friends who did blw and loved it but when people say it leads to less fussy eating etc I'm a bit hmm. My 6 year old ate purées only for almost 18 months because of a medical condition and by 2 years had a totally normal and very healthy diet. There are so many factors involved in kids and eating. I'm not sure that just because your baby eats steak when it's 9 months, that it'll have a better diet at 5 or 10. Or equally if you spoon feed porridge that you'll rear a tubster.

I'm basically a bit meh and get more and more meh as my kids get older.

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