BLW purists - what would you make of this

[blushingmare]

Started DD on BLW last weekend and have had a mixed response! She's had some really good sessions where she's really interested in the food, makes a lovely mess and starts to pick some stuff up, but this is only if I start her off by handing her the food and sometimes even holding it at her mouth (once she's taken it to her mouth herself) to stabilise it enough for her to chomp on it. If I just sit her down and leave her to it she either starts to cry or just wipes everything onto the floor in one foul swipe of her arm! If she tries picking things up, she gives up very quickly and loses interest because they just slip out of her hands. I have tried various ways of cutting and preparing it.

This morning I realised that if I gave her a pre loaded spoon or fork she was then far more able to take the food to her mouth and keep it there.

Do you think this approach is ok (ie - handing her the food and giving her spoons and forks to feed herself) or should I leave weaning for a bit longer til her fine motor skills are up to it? I'm aware it's not quite what it says in the book - not that I'm a slave to following the rules, but I really like the idea of keeping eating fun and pleasurable and also don't want to increase the risk of choking by handing her the food - don't know if this does do that.

She's only just 6 months and has no issues with weight gain so there's no hurry to wean, but at the same time I don't want to leave it much later and she obviously is interested in it once I've given her a bit of help, but just gets bored or frustrated if left to do it herself.

[LilyVonSchtupp]

I am a smug twat BLW purist and I would say carry on giving her the loaded spoons alongside fingerfoods and let her do what she can. As long as you aren't inserting food in her mouth it's not a choking risk. IIRC the book says loaded spoons are fine.

[LilyVonSchtupp]

Sorry, Ive just been on AIBU so in that kind of mood. I love and swear by BLW but in hindsight the phrase does make my teeth itch and I was a bit holier than though about it. I am not saying that BLW mums are smug - just me

[givemeaclue]

Unless the baby gets the food out the cupboard themselves, they are not leading the weaning, they are eating from the foods that the parent leading the weaning has given them.

Blw is just a made up nonsense phrase

[blushingmare]

Well yeah, I'm not really interested in what the phrase is, but it's easier than saying "I'm weaning by giving my baby finger foods and hoping that she'll chose what she wants and pick it up on her own instead of me spoon feeding her". I think most people know what is implied by the phrase baby led weaning.

Just had a totally unsuccessful lunch where she screamed as soon as I put the food in front of her. Breakfast was just the same

[DoubleYew]

Maybe ill / teething.

Yes the book says preloaded spoons are fine. Ds took a long time to get co-ordinated and actually swallow the damn food so don't start sweating yet. I had to make sure the food was on the tray before I put him in, not cos he was hungry, just impatient to sit with nothing to do.

Have you got a crinkle cutter, really helped in the early days.

(And don't know know this is MN, you can't mention blw without someone coming on to be sarcastic about it...)

[HearMyRoar]

Just a random thought, and you might have tried these things, but are you having her in a highchair? I found that to start with dd responded much better when she sat on my lap and had a bit of whatever i was eating. Also giving her just a couple of things at a time worked better then a whole meal at once. I think she found being sat in a highchair with random food in front of her a bit confusing at first and needed introducing to it slowly. Now she eats astonishing amounts :)

[blushingmare]

HearMyRoar I think you could be right about that. She's always more interested in eating my food than when I sit her down to eat and her sitting balance isn't 100% so being in the highchair is probably quite hard work. The problem is I'm so crap at getting any kind of routine (have already posted on here about being totally intimidated by weaning due to my unstructured days!) that I think I don't time it right when to give her the food. Obviously I can't give it when she's hungry for milk, but if I wait a bit after giving her bf, then she's starting to get tired and not in the right frame of mind for it then either

She's also got a cold so on reflection maybe it's all too much. I think I'm going to stop the solids for a couple of days and restart gently with just having her sit with me when eating hides junk food Does that sound reasonable?

[PlateSpinningAtAllTimes]

I think that sounds like a sensible plan. DS was always more interested in eating whatever I was eating and would do well sitting on my lap. Don't stress about the routine thing too much - just give her some of what you're eating whenever you have a meal and sit down to eat together. Just be aware about when she's had her milk so you know that she's not too hungry to cope with fiddling about with food and not full up. I also wouldn't faff around her too much either - just enjoy your food, talk about what you're eating with her and let her get on with it. It's such early days that swallowing anything at all at this stage is good progress. Good luck

FWIW we found that blw was absolutely marvellous once it got going - almost zero stress for everyone. And DS (3.5) is a great eater now and good at knowing when to stop, even when eating treats he's not usually allowed etc.

[FredFredGeorge]

Offering her what you're eating when you're eating sounds totally sensible, if that's in a high chair, your lap at the table or the sofa it doesn't matter. Just offer her food.

A spoon or fork loaded with things to eat is also a good idea.

Just relax and offer food.

[LilyVonSchtupp]

Just coming on to apologise again for my rudeness and say that having a cold might make her mouth, teeth or throat hurt so that sounds a sensible plan to not be too worried what she eats over the next few days. She also might like the spoon because it's something hard to bite on if she's teething.

I agree with the others that BLW, for all my misgivings about the phrase, is worth sticking too and gets much easier, especially if, like me, you're not really a routine person.

[blushingmare]

Thanks Lily, and actually I didn't find you at all rude! FWIW I agree with you about the phrase. Feel the same about any "label" that is attached to a parenting choice to make it seem like a conscious lifestyle statement, when actually it's just you doing what feels right and what works for you at the time.