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To think this is a bit cheeky?

(45 Posts)
Persianredflame Sun 27-Nov-16 17:32:58

Flatmate just messaged and repeatedly called to ask if anyone was in. She is away for few days and coming back late tonight but wanted to know if anyone was around to let her boyfriend in (he doesn't live here) so he could start cooking for them? Don't know how I feel about it! He stays over most nights

QueenMe Sun 27-Nov-16 17:36:49

It wouldn't bother me tbh.

She's been away and wants a nice meal with her fella when she gets back

LemonRedwood Sun 27-Nov-16 17:37:06

I'd be feeling that she's lucky someone wants to come round and cook for when she gets home!

Really a bit meh about this. He's not a stranger to you is he?

Persianredflame Sun 27-Nov-16 17:38:20

Ok fair enough. No he's not, just I wouldn't invite someone over when i wasn't in personally.

mickeysminnie Sun 27-Nov-16 17:42:15

I would say that it is a small step to him having his own key and being there as much as another flat mate.
Text and suggest she go to his instead!

holeinmyheart Sun 27-Nov-16 17:46:29

I once started sharing a flat with two other single girls. Then they got a boyfriend each and moved them in. I was still expected to pay a third of the rent and wait my turn for the bathroom as they had baths together etc. It soon got ridiculous and I moved out. I think I should have discussed all this sort of arrangement before we started sharing. They behaved in a really selfish way and I was too naive to stop them. Just say you are out if you dont want to let him in to what is 'your home ' after all.

Persianredflame Sun 27-Nov-16 17:48:26

Yeah I've been burnt by this before. Normally flatmate is fine but I just think this is blurring the lines a bit?

YelloDraw Sun 27-Nov-16 17:51:13

Yeah I think it's blurring the lines.

He can cook a nice meal for her at his house if he likes.

If you have people round you need to be there to 'host' them.

YelloDraw Sun 27-Nov-16 17:52:39

I had a house mate who basically moved in his girlfriend. She would be cooking elaborate meals for him in the kitchen - when she lived on her own in her own flat in a more central and convenient location to the shared house!

QueenMortificado Sun 27-Nov-16 17:53:29

Him arriving home first and making a start on dinner = not a big deal

Him being in most nights = a big deal

MulberryBush12 Sun 27-Nov-16 18:11:32

I would think the same as you-uncomfortable. Say you'll not be in and suggest she goes over to his.
It's a bit cheeky.

Persianredflame Sun 27-Nov-16 18:23:10

I didn't answer phone immediately but by then he was already on way and she had called me twice and messaged repeatedly...

Persianredflame Sun 27-Nov-16 18:24:03

Boyfriend arrived about four hours before she is due back

expatinscotland Sun 27-Nov-16 18:32:19

So many have been burned by this that hte last flatshare I had we had the LL write a guest policy into the tenancy agreement and we all signed it. No guests for more than 2 nights in one week and only with prior agreement of everyone else at least 24 hours in advance.

srslylikeomg Sun 27-Nov-16 18:33:52

I really don't get why this is a problem for you?

SaltyBitch Sun 27-Nov-16 18:35:23

I'd let him in. He's a boyfriend, not a 'normal' guest.

ClarissaDarling Sun 27-Nov-16 18:35:56

Urg been there and also moved out! In days before you got unlimited broadband- bloody bf of flat mate racked up huge bill- then buggered off!

neveradullmoment99 Sun 27-Nov-16 18:36:26

Is he making some for you wink

Persianredflame Sun 27-Nov-16 18:37:12

I have - I just think it's a bit cheeky. Surely the point of house sharing is you share with those you live with - and if they're not there you have a free house?

Persianredflame Sun 27-Nov-16 18:37:27

No he's not I don't think!

krustykittens Sun 27-Nov-16 18:38:15

I agree with whoever said your flatmate should host her guest, because that is what he is, a guest. Having him hang around for four hours in a house that isn't his, for a total non-emergency, is not on.

jadeyty Sun 27-Nov-16 18:42:01

I wouldn't really have a problem with this if it is a one off...if it becomes repetitive i would say something about it. I think that the flat is your space and I personally wouldn't want to be sharing with an extra person I didn't agree to especially if he was there alone a lot.

Persianredflame Sun 27-Nov-16 18:46:47

He's been here a couple of hours and dinner not started - why come then hmm

expatinscotland Sun 27-Nov-16 18:49:39

Two hours free power and heating is why.

MsJudgemental Sun 27-Nov-16 18:51:25

Ask him why?

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