Threads in this topic will auto-delete 30 days after the OP is posted.

Encouraging resilience in 8year old

(3 Posts)
ohisay Mon 07-Nov-16 19:01:57

Hi, wasn't sure where to put this but here goes!
Teacher called me in for a chat tonight about my 8 year old.
A different teacher took the class for some of the afternoon today, and when my daughters usual teacher came back in her found her red faced and upset. She had been doing a piece of work, it didn't look 'perfect' (her words) and had spelling mistakes and didn't look as neat as she wanted. Added to this she received her 'pen licence' last week so was unable to rub out when she made mistakes.
The teacher felt that had he came in a moment later she would have been in tears and extremely upset but he spotted just in time to calm her.
He said that he felt worried for her, that he sees himself in her and knows how she must have been feeling, and wants to work on building her resilience when it comes to failure, and work being perfect.
He mentioned doing puzzles where there is trial and error to find the answer as a starting point. (Nrich website?)
Does anyone have any ideas beyond this?
We have always talked about trying your best being the most important part of anything, and board games and card games are won fairly so she is aware that she cannot always win at things.
She is happy to try new things physically, discuss things and get things wrong.
I did say to her teacher that in my opinion the lack of resilience (and perfectionism) Is around written work , and he did agree.
She's been this way since she learnt to write, her reading age has always been years ahead, so when something didn't look 'right' she would know and get upset and re write/rub out the wrong spellings or re write what she decided wasn't neat enough.
I hate the thought of her getting upset and thinking every piece of work needs to be perfect.
If you made it to the end of all that.... please offer me your words of wisdom!

wonderingagain21 Mon 07-Nov-16 21:26:50

Get a frixion erasable pen to help her cope in the meantime. I have a 14 year old perfectionist & haven't got a solution yet.

ohisay Tue 08-Nov-16 17:18:16

Thanks for the reply, a will give that a try! Don't want her to change from always wanting her best, but don't want her to be upset when she's tried and it's not!
I have a feeling teenage years with coursework/projects + a perfectionist= nightmare?!
She enjoys tests, so exams aren't such a worry!!!

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now