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What do you have to show for your life?

(51 Posts)
QueenLizIII Fri 04-Nov-16 16:01:21

Considering what you put in, are you happy with what you have to show for it?

Costacoffeeplease Fri 04-Nov-16 16:02:29


LifeLong13 Fri 04-Nov-16 16:02:55

Not happy at all. I have a husband and a daughter. That is it. Sweet FA apart from them

Lottapianos Fri 04-Nov-16 16:03:23

Broadly, yes. A bit more money would always be nice! I have a healthy relationship with my DP, a nice home which we own, freedom, independence, my health, my sanity (hard won), a job that pays me enough to have a decent lifestyle and which is fairly secure. I feel a lot luckier than many

QueenLizIII Fri 04-Nov-16 16:05:43

I have a few degree certificates. Career has gone a bit tits up lately. paid off a mountain of student debt

I have a few clothes and some old furniture and a rental place.

no kids no dp nothing.

cant help thinking it hasnt been worth it.

fitzbilly Fri 04-Nov-16 16:08:46

Your viewing it all wrong though

It's not about what material things you have. Owning things is not really why we live so it's not something to use to measure the success your life.

What's the point of life anyway?

You have to accept who you are and accept that the choices you made led to the life you have, and you have power to change that at any time.

GiddyOnZackHunt Fri 04-Nov-16 16:08:55

Yes. I do feel a bit vapid when you think about people who had done all manner of amazing stuff by my age (mid 40s) but littering along being a decent sort isn't a terrible thing.

m0therofdragons Fri 04-Nov-16 16:09:54

Depends how old you are.

I'm happy I have dh, 3dc, a pretty good job (would like to be more senior but dc are still little so maybe another 5 years things will be different), nice house (nothing amazing but very happy here), go on lovely holidays. I'm 34.

I must admit it's all good right now and I do feel it may be my turn for a life curve ball, like dh being made redundant or major illness. Just seems a bit too happy right now but will enjoy for the time being.

GiddyOnZackHunt Fri 04-Nov-16 16:09:55

pottering. Not littering. That would be terrible grin

Packergator Fri 04-Nov-16 16:11:01

Agree 100% with Giddy.

It is no bad thing to celebrate a simple life.

From 'The Hobbit' or summat.

Milkmaidinhell Fri 04-Nov-16 16:11:17

I have a lovely DH, adorable pets, a house, a car, a job (but not a career), a degree (although in hindsight I would have studied a completely different subject). I'm happy smile

Groovee Fri 04-Nov-16 16:12:33

I have a husband 2 kids and some trustworthy friends. I have shit health and have ended up disabled! But life is life and I need to make the most of it!

QueenLizIII Fri 04-Nov-16 16:13:08

38. too old for meeting the one and DC.

so im stuck with what 40 years of this

QueenLizIII Fri 04-Nov-16 16:13:41

as someone pointed out all they have kids job husband money property and they are 4 years younger than me

Oblomov16 Fri 04-Nov-16 16:13:47

What are we supposed to have?
I have no career aspirations, I wanted a part time job that was reasonably well paid, that I could do with my eyes closed. I have that.

My dh is lovely. The boys are growing up. I buy what I want when I do the weekly food shop.
What are we supposed to be aiming for?

ShowMeTheElf Fri 04-Nov-16 16:16:39

Queen Don't measure your worth on how many clothes you have. How many people's lives have you touched, how many people have you affected in a positive way, either personally or professionally?
That is the legacy we have, not what we own.
You are less than half way though your life: who knows what you will have to show for it by then.

QueenLizIII Fri 04-Nov-16 16:18:01

Professionally alot of people ive helped.

But what about me? im always alone. every guy had cheated on me in recent years.

PosiePootlePerkins Fri 04-Nov-16 16:19:38

You're not 'supposed' to be aiming at anything. You are the only person who knows if you feel fulfilled. I have a very simple life but am blessed to have a loving Dh, two wonderful healthy happy children, a nice house, food in the cupboards, a few close friends, a job I love. I count my blessings every day. If I could change anything it would be my DHs health which at some point in the future is going to deteriorate.
As my boys get older and can be left I fully intend to find a hobby or evening class just for me, but for now I am content with what I have.

PosiePootlePerkins Fri 04-Nov-16 16:21:12

Sorry cross posts as I was typing, I see you don't have a Dp or DC but that doesn't need to define you. You can still have a really full life.

Raines100 Fri 04-Nov-16 16:30:27

OP, I'm sorry you're feeling like this. I think it's normal to go through general periods of discontentment. Either it will pass, or it's time to make a change.

Firstly, congratulations on your academic achievements. This is the area I sacrificed in the end for DH and DCs, and I dearly hope the ship hasn't sailed yet.

Secondly, you're definitely not too old for DP and possibly even DCs- if that's what you want. It's perfectly possible to have a valuable, fulfilling life without them.

Material possessions are irrelevant really. My life isn't the sum total of the stuff I've got but rather the experiences I've had and what I've meant to other people.

Maybe it's time to do something crazy! grin

Milkmaidinhell Fri 04-Nov-16 16:36:54

Sorry OP I missed that you're upset! flowers

Lottapianos Fri 04-Nov-16 16:42:23

'It is no bad thing to celebrate a simple life.'

Completely agree. I don't have children and some people without children feel a lot of pressure to have a flashy, action packed kind of life to make up for not being a parent. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a quiet steady kind of life if that's what makes you happy

QueenLizIII Fri 04-Nov-16 16:44:04

But it doesnt make me happy. it isnt even about material wealth. i only raised the clothes point as it is all i own as well as some old furniture.

id just like the simple life everyone else seems to get. with a family and their own place.

Washthenetting Fri 04-Nov-16 16:47:38

I'm so sorry you're feeling like this flowers there are a lot of positives to single, childfree life but if that isn't what you want have you considered a sperm donor? 40 isn't to old for a DC.

Oblomov16 Fri 04-Nov-16 16:48:59

Is it too late for a dh? I hope not.
I suspect the crap relationships and the cheating are making you feel rotten now?

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