I have a beautiful 20 year old horse who I've owned since the day she was born (owned her dam too who's sadly not with us any more). She's in good health - not 100% sound but a very happy, slightly overweight hacker. She's kept at my mum and dad's where my mum looks after her, along with her own horse (healthy 20 year old TB but he is loaned and we've had him for years). For the past few years, we've hacked out together once a week and my mum rides both the horses once or twice on her own during the week. However, things are changing. My mum is getting more forgetful (her father had dementia so we're scared she's going the same way) and frailer (she's in her early 70s) and recently injured herself and is still not 100% up to full health but is managing the horses at the moment. My dad wants to make plans to move both horses into livery near them from this winter as he's worried my mum won't be able to cope. I suggested putting them into livery near me (i'm about an hour away) but he doesn't want to do that as she'll want to visit them regularly and to keep active. I worry its too much responsibility on them though.
My dad and I have wondered if we should give the TB back to its owner. I would hate to split our two horses - the TB has major separation issues and is very reliant on my horse - we can't ride my horse on her own as he jumps out the field/box and practically fits. There are no other horses in the yard (although he can see other horses). BUT if my mum is going to deteriorate over time, shouldn't we plan for it before its a problem? Then again, my mum loves her horse so much - she's had him for years and he's a part of our family. We've had horses for 30 years and never given back/sold one - they've only ever died of old age with us. She'd be distraught if she knew we were considering taking him away (obviously we would never do this without discussing with her!).
I don't know what I'm asking but I'm struggling. What do other people do when their parents age? My horse's dam was about 26 when she died so there could be a few happy healthy years in my horse yet. Even though I can't see my horse as often as I like, I adore her and I struggle with the idea of a stranger looking after her when you hear such awful stories.
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Discuss horse riding and ownership on our Horse forum.
The tack room
Ageing horse, ageing mum, handhold? Sorry - v long.
10 replies
geeup · 02/08/2016 15:33
OP posts:
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.