Currently feeling super crap and debating whether to give up horses... Just had a baby (well, she's 3.5 months) and frankly not coping at all well. I have 3 horses, well 1 old retired pony who we've had for 24 years, plus 2 horses. Before baby I was always riding, plus doing things at yard; I've rented a small private yard for past 7 years so it's DIY and then some!
Currently have a to-do list as long as my arm of things that need doing. Managing to squeeze a few rides in, DH meets me at yard on his way home from work so we can swap the baby, I then ride. But then feel guilt at being out for a couple of hours in the evening. I can live with that, but I will have to go back to work next year and frankly can't see how it will be possible to ride after work AND see daughter awake.
I'm just feeling totally overwhelmed right now. DH has said he'll help with the chores (he already does one end of the day, feeds, turnout or bring in) and that I should go and ride, but it's more than that. I feel like it's all very well now but once I am back at work how on earth can I manage even looking after them. Plus riding wise, I want more than being a happy hacker! Pre pregnancy my focus was dressage; I have an ex racer and we were training with a list 1 judge.... Let's just say he can go very nicely and she thought he was more than capable of at least Medium level, but (and she's ridden him, so her words here) he is very very strong when he wants to be and can be impossible and could easily dent your (my) confidence. I've put my all into him and had just about got him to a point of being able to take him out to compete without him freaking out, and then I got pregnant! He needs regular work and certainly isn't a horse that you could take out competing without a huge amount of effort. He's also a bit of a shit on the ground, so frankly I could never sell him on as I'd worry what would happen to him. I've always said he'd be pts rather than sell. I am riding him again now but after 6 months off an just doing walking work at present. I also have a 14.2hh mare who has niggling lameness issues so again candidate for pts rather than selling. Most of the time sound and I have hunted her (she's fab!) but occasionally unlevel and so needs managing. And then of course one of my old ponies whose in his late 20's, has cushings and no teeth and again can't exactly go anywhere.
So what on earth do I do!? The prospect of having any of them pts reduces me to tears and my DH thinks I'm callous for even suggesting it. I can't move them to part livery as on mat leave and Cannot (!) afford it; even once back at work I can't afford part livery for 3 anyway (not with childcare costs!).
I hate going to do them currently as my otherwise Angel baby sees it as the one time she can be a monster. I simply cannot get anything done. This morning I was hysterical in tears as its just got to a point where I simply want to give up but cannot for the life of me see how.
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Feel like giving up...
15 replies
spydie · 12/05/2016 13:32
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