Does anyone have some bravery I can borrow please?

[SaggyOldClothCatPuss]

The lovely lady I poo pick for, let me ride her gorgeous highland today. It's the first time I've sat on a horse for a year and a half!
He was wonderful, I'm totally in love, and she would like for me to hack him out with her and her other pony.
The trouble is, I'm really not good on the road. And the lovely highland, isn't great either. He's not a big fan of tractors or trucks. Nothin too scary, shying sideways, or running of a few steps. In the field it's nothing I couldn't handle, and he's a lovely big squashy sofa that you sit inside, IYSWIM, but I have this blockage in my head that I can't get past.
I actually had a little cry today, that ill probably miss out because I'm a wuss!
Anyone got any ideas?

[alwaysGOLD]

A highland how fab! I used to have one he was the most cuddlest sweetheart cheeky git of a hairy beast ever :)

Not any got ideas sorry! im sure your'll be fine once you get going, then your wonder what all the worrying was about, could you go for a hack when you know the roads are quietest? just keep positive thinking perhaps a stiff drink beforehand

[alwaysGOLD]

*at the quietest time of day? i mean

[SaggyOldClothCatPuss]

Or a Valium?

[Eventer007]

Very rarely would I take a new horse straight out on a hack, especially one that I'd only ridden once, and who I knew wasn't good on roads. How about a few more rides on the highland to give you a chance to get used to him, and for him to get used to you? Once you feel a bit more confident on him, then you might be more inclined to take him out.

[LastMangoInParis]

E007 speaks sense: you need to get to know him, even though he's lovely.
Only do what you're comfortable with (that said, try and move forward with your confidence little by little, be reflective and try and work out when your spooking yourself and when your being sensible - IYSWIM).
If or when you feel confident about riding on roads, do it when you've spent lots of time with this horse. Check your routes so that if possible you can hack out with as little road work as possible at first (so check maps, ask other riders, walk routes without horse before riding them). Then if/when you do roads you can go with a friend, with everything in place and when you're much more used to being back in the saddle so no longer have any general anxieties, stiffness, etc. from that.
I think you're wise to be aware of your anxieties and follow your instincts. Probably in a few weeks you'll feel differently, but by then you'll be better placed to assess whether you're really letting fear get the better of you. At the moment it sounds like you're just being sensibly cautious.

[horseylady]

Ate you going out with someon or alone? I agree with riding him some more and seeing what happens. There's no huge rush to hack him out I wouldn't have thought, so just take your time. It might be just what you need!!

Also have someon in foot as well.

[SaggyOldClothCatPuss]

I'm a dreadful wuss!
I've been looking after him for years, so I know him well, and the area is where I grew up. It's just my own anxiety! I need to get over myself! I'll ride him again if she wants, but in the field for now. I'm determined to conquer this!

[SaggyOldClothCatPuss]

I'm pathetic really! I used to be a whipper in of hounds! Mt confidence is shot!!

[KTK9]

Funny to read this, I am much the same, not ridden much for about 7 years and been riding a friends horse, in the school several times, he is only 14.3, and really calm and placid, but I still worry about it!

Tomorrow, I have said to my dd (8), that we will go out for a gentle hack with her on her pony (his mum), she is only 12.2 and I am going to keep her on the lead initially, I know they will be well behaved - they love each other, but now am thinking that maybe it is a bad idea and all sorts of scenarios running through my head.

Have asked otherhalf to come (on foot) just in case of problems - I too have ridden for years and competed at a good level in X Country!

Maybe it is age!!!!!

[KTK9]

Have you got some Rescue Remedy?

[Wolfiefan]

Oh saggy. Wish I could come with you! Can a friend walk with you or ride ahead to slow traffic?
Hi viz. Pick time carefully. Have a lesson first? Try schooling in field then walking 5 mins round the road and turning back?

[Alameda]

I think you should ride him in the field and get your road nerves on something utterly traffic proof, ahem, am pointing at MY horses here. Could you do the riding and road safety course somewhere? Newton Hall?

[SaggyOldClothCatPuss]

Bless you. And thank you my lovely. I'd probably squash them! I've done all that with dd. And it's not as if I haven't hacked out a million times before, it's just that tractors and lorries give me the fear! I'm going to ride him a little more in the field if I get the chance, then ask for a gentle accompanied hack across the fields first.

[Alameda]

have actually SEEN you recently (I know I was under the influence of acepromazine but it didn't affect my vision) and am sure you would be fine

sounds like a good start though, you have my sympathies, I had a terror of being in the field with them for ages but it did get better

[CMOTDibbler]

Is there someone with a tractor who you could get to come and drive it around the field while you ride ? De sensitise yourself sort of thing ?

We had 12 tractors out potato harvesting this weekend, and none of the horses batted an eyelid going past them on a hack. The newly ploughed field needed a right good stare though

[frostyfingers]

My horse is fine with tractors pulling all sorts of stuff, currently apples and potatoes, but it's cars and god forbid, bikes that do his head in. It seems to be the smaller the vehicle the greater the likelihood of having a wobbly. He's moving to livery next week and I can ride on the farm which will help.

Saggy, it's just practice you need - I find actually that lorry and tractor drivers are much better than car drivers at being sympathetic to horses. Lots of Hi viz, and big smiles and waves when they slow down for you will do it.

[dappleton]

Play the 'find the lay-by' game. As a teenager I had a pony that detested traffic, cars used to make her wizz forwards, anything bigger was a through the hedge/backwards down a ditch job. My job was to find a side road/lay-by/gateway etc approx every100m along every hacking route we knew. We would then trot to it at frantic speeds while singing stupid songs every time any vehicle wanted to pass - that way it could pass by nice and wide and Dpony was happy! never once did we have to turn back or give up on a ride and with time all the dashing about just became normal!

[frostyfingers]

I'm good at that game - I think I know where every decent layby, or gateway is on all my routes. I very firmly trot down the middle of the road in case anyone thinks they can whizz by me, and usually find a big cheery wave and a cheesy grin wipes out any possible aggro. To be fair, most of the drivers are fine once they realise they are going to have to stop, but there are a few po-faced regulars who I won't miss when I move dhorse up to livery (although I'm dreading that for other reasons!).

[annieapple7]

Large sherry beforehand, takes the edge off the nerves. Worked for me when I had to start riding my ex racehorse and was cacking myself. Gradually reduced volume of sherry until I was riding alcohol free!

[SaggyOldClothCatPuss]

I met some jousters called Stampede Stunt Riders today, who run a rider confidence course, and hypnisis sessions for wimps like me! I might well give it a go next year!

[Pixel]

I had actually considered the large sherry or two but then I wouldn't be able to get home .

[unobtanium]

Read "Perfect Confidence" by Kelly Marks! The best tip in there is to take those negative thoughts, the ones telling you that all sorts of terrible things will happen, and in your imagination have a ridiculous cartoon character (such as Bart Simpson or Dick Dastardly) repeat them to you... thus rendering them silly, unkind and untrue.

Also, get a bit more riding in (in field or manège) before venturing out, even if it is accompanied! Best of luck,