Ridiculously tiny but at the same time huge achievement

[Fireandashes]

Not really sure what the point of this post is...just wanted to get this down somewhere to prove to myself it really happened, I guess.

I used to be a confident and reasonably competent rider, was quite competitive when younger - Adv Med dressage, BE Novice eventing - loved hunting, would ride just about anything.

About three years ago, I was out hacking with a friend and we managed to accidentally disturb a wasps' nest. My horse (understandably) went mad as he was stung, bronced and as I fell off I got briefly hung up in one stirrup, which panicked the poor lad even more. I finally came off against a tree, ending up with concussion, fractured ribs, a punctured lung, badly broken foot, two broken fingers, dislocated wrist and torn ankle ligaments.

Afterwards I discovered I'd completely lost my confidence. Obviously the healing took months but even once back to something approaching fitness, I couldn't get back on without shaking - which of course transmitted to the horse and made him tense, so I became more nervous...yadda yadda, vicious circle.

After well over a year on from the accident I ended up selling both my main horse as he was wasted with me and loves to jump and my homebred youngster as I felt I'd never recover enough confidence to bring him on. My old pony was, and still is on long-term loan to a PC home and I have a mare (dam of my youngster) on breeding loan to a small stud.

Last year I decided to try again, went to a local riding school, got on a patent safety cob...started shaking again and got off before I had a panic attack and upset the horse.

But I still missed it...

Anyway, to cut a long story short, today I rode my lovely encouraging friend's Highland. I was still nervous and we only walked (albeit with a few serpentines and circles included) but he was an absolute saint and I nearly, almost enjoyed it. I was high as a kite when I got off and we've arranged to do it again later this week.

Compared to what I used to achieve without thinking about it, this is infintesimal...but I am so fucking proud of myself for doing it!

[LaurenLaverne]

Well done! That's brilliant! You should be proud

[Mirage2012Olympics]

You bloody well should be! Well done and I hope that you continue to improve and enjoy it.Keep us posted.

[N0tinmylife]

Sounds like a bloody big achievement to me, well done!

[AlpinePony]

Well done! :)

I found hypnotherapy worked when I lost my nerve, I also got an RA to come and help me mount (god that sounds pathetic!).

I then went out and bought a tank of a haflinger whilst the warmblood stood in the field getting fat. He hated me but I got all my confidence back within hours of riding him. He'd put his back into his bucks and his feet would come 6" off the floor and I'd be sitting there laughing and thinking "bring it on"!

I hope you have similar success!

[Eve]

As a fellow 'loss of nerve'. Person, fan 'flippin' tastic! Well done.

I've got shot of the youngers I used to have who dumped me once too often and now riding my sons new 15h horse.

I took him out for a hack tonight and he met donkeys, sheep, cows and a GREAT BIG HUGE PIG, which was heading straight one us. I was terrified, horse never even noticed!

[SaggyOldClothCatPuss]

Been there! I rode anything as a kid. Got a job with the hunt as a young adult. Got pregnant, got bolted with and totally lost it.
I met my BFF who offered for my Dcs to ride. I was terrified of her mini Shetland! Within 6 months, I was riding again. I had a slightly bonkers NF youngster, who did wonders for my confidence in and out of the saddle, fell off a hundred times and laughed.
Then, the 101 fall broke my arm, badly. 6 months off work, sleeping in an armchair! Im still ok, if not better, on the ground, but I've barely ridden since. I felt safe as houses on my giant Shetland, she's bomb proof, but I am too heavy for her now, so I don't ride anything anymore.
It's been a year or two, and I'm really starting to yearn! BFF and myself have nothing big enough for me. My other friend has a gorgeous, sofa like highland, who I'd imagine is fairly hard to fall out of, who I'm totally tempted by, but I know that he scatters when he sees a tractor, and I'm worried. We live in farm central, and get some fairly unpleasant traffic round here!
I'd love to trade my whole string in for a nice safe hairy tank, but we only have road hacking round here, and that freaks me out most.
Good luck, and go for it. Come and tell us about your fun, and then I can live vicariously through you! wistful

[CMOTDibbler]

Congratulations - you've done amazingly well to get back on. Just keep going, don't push yourself too fast or compare to what you used to do

[dappleton]

Congratulations!