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Getting loan pony back after pregnancy?

10 replies

TheCokeMachine · 09/01/2012 17:47

I loaned my lovely Connemara gelding out while I was pregnant.

The loan is due to end at Easter and he will be coming back to me. I have always ridden and had horses, in the last few years due to work commitments I've had to keep them on full livery and only ride at weekends. I live in London, my normal livery bill is around £160 per week.

He is happy where he is on loan, the turnout is great and he is ridden almost daily - he's been doing well at the local riding club. He is much loved.

I am torn as to whether to bring him back, I now have a baby to look after, and it'll be great at first I can stick him on DIY and me and the baby can go the yard with me during the week, but in October I'll be back at work, the baby will be in full time nursery.

I don't want to end up not seeing my baby at weekends because I'm up at the yard, and I will have to go, because turnout is limited in winter and he will have to be ridden to keep him sane. I'm in two minds as to whether to bring him back, or if I should do a deal with his loaners. I know they would buy him if I offered..

Have any of you taken a horse back after pregnancy - or given up a horse when children came along? How did you cope? What did you do?

Any thoughts/suggestions would be great - thanks!

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Booboostoo · 09/01/2012 19:18

Tough one. I have three horses and a pony (at home) and I am really, really struggling with all of them and DD (7 months). The horses live out, one is having an 'easy' winter but I struggle to keep the others ticking over. I am totally sleep deprived so riding really takes it out of me, and DD cries if left in her pram which winds the horses up (not a good combination!).

So I suppose what I am saying is...can you talk to the loaners about extending the loan for another year? Then you can see how things go with baby and work before you have to decide. Selling sounds a bit final, but if he is doing well in his loan home they may jump at the opportunity to keep him for another year.

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CatpussRoastingByAnOpenFire · 09/01/2012 20:43

Would the loaner keep him on, but let you maybe pop over and ride him sometimes, if you slipped them a few quid a ride?

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cazboldy · 09/01/2012 20:48

I manage with 3 horses, and 5 dc BUT I don't work atm......

something has to give.... and you can't i assume give up work. Baby will be spending a long time away from you already, and if horse is happy (and you are happy with the loaners) I think I would let him go tbh. Sad

they are not small for long though x

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snowpo · 09/01/2012 21:29

If you are questioning it, I'd leave him where he is. When you are working full time I'd suggest you'll want to enjoy as much time at the weekend with your baby/OH if you have one and you'll just end up resenting the time you spend with pony.
Also if he is on DIY until you're back at work, think about how much you'll actually be able to ride if you have baby with you or will you just be doing all the work!!
The other question is are you thinking about haveing more children - that will make things more complicated.
I had 3 horses when I got pregnant, 2 on DIY, one grass livery. I put 2 on loan and soooo glad I did. I managed to get pregnant again when son was 8wks so have two littlies.
My mare is on DIY, and I only end up riding once a week at most - I feel guilty leaving the kids too long with hubby cos the 'me' time goes on mucking out, poo picking, sweeping etc.
I really miss going out for long hack and not worrying about what time I get back but I'll be able to do it again in a few years. I don't want to miss my kids growing up as I'll never get that back.
If you are not so emotionally attached that you can let your pony go, I would do it. My mare is 23 so I wouldn't loan or sell her now, but to be honest if she was younger I would consider it.

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AlpinePony · 10/01/2012 08:02

My mare is on full livery and I'm having my second next month. Because it's full livery with great facilities it means I can roll up after the children are in bed and ride in an indoor school. At the weekends/lighter evenings I'll be able to get up for a hack and I'm very lucky in that my husband is very hands on and knows which end to stick carrots in and how to pick out her feet.

But it is a compromise, no doubt about it. Gone are the days when you can just waste 6 hours there - and my tack which used to be cleaned weekly - let's not even talk about that. I investigated on sunday and found mould all over two of my bridles as I've not ridden in so long and it's all become damp. :(

There is no way I could do DIY, have the children and work full-time.

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horsemadmom · 10/01/2012 15:58

Hi CokeMachine!
I'm a London rider looking for a loan. PM me.

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horsemadmom · 10/01/2012 16:04

Sorry, should have said 'or share'. Seriously, PM me.

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TheCokeMachine · 10/01/2012 20:35

Well I've taken in all that everyone has said, and I've spoken to the loaner and they have agreed to keep him on for another year. The pony is well looked after, regularly ridden and out roaming on 600 acres - I don't think I could ask for more. I felt quite sad after speaking to them, riding has been a huge part of my life for so long.

I know it's not like I'm giving up forever, but when I got pregnant I decided not to ride and convinced myself that it was only for a year - but now I have to be realistic. I'm going to have the odd private lesson/hack to keep ticking over.

Thanks again...

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marge2 · 10/01/2012 21:20

I think you are being very sensible. Much as I adore her and would have sobbed for weeks, I wish I had sold my girl when I was PG with DS1 and she went out on her first loan. She was 9 years younger, and fit with no health issues. She would then stand a chance of being with some one now who could cope financially with the vets bills we now have to face, and had time to give her the exercise she needs to keep health complications at bay. If you are planning on having another baby ever? If so you will have even less time and less money spare. If I was in your shoes, ( and I WAS in those shoes once) and your horses is happy where he is I would see if they would buy him off you. It will be a wrench, but unless you can guarangtee the time and money to put into it you are better off selling him when he has a chance of finding a great owner to take him forward into old age.

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TheCokeMachine · 10/01/2012 21:59

oh marge2 I know what you mean, and I did have a good old cry this afternoon - in fact I cried more today than I did when he went out on loan initially.

I think I've just delayed his inevtiable sale for a while. Thanks for helping me feel better about the whole thing.

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