Do you think it's ever possible to get your 'horse' confidence back again?

[HandbagAddiction]

I'm really interested to know whether there is yet hope for me?!

Story is that I rolde an awful lot growing up, show jumping, pony club, rode other peoples horses for them, did a few one day events and charity cross country rides, etc. and then in my early 20's had a horse on loan for a while - but did hacking only.

Fast forward another 20 years and I decided withe some other friends in a similar position to go out riding again. There's a place near us that rehomes and retrain ex race horses / showjumpers, so we went there and had a fab 90 minutes out - walk, trot and some canter. My horse got a bit exuberant towards the end and di a massive fly-buck on the last canter and fortunately I stayed on. That shook me a bit, so I decided after than hack o go back for a few lessons in their school. The lessons have been fab and have done a lot for me in terms of remembering importance of your seat, core strength, etc. etc.

So last weekend, decided to go on another 90 minute hack. Admitedly it was windy and there were a few of us, but I rode another horse who apparently (and we chose him specifically for my confidence issues) is normally a complete gent. Well he was until again the last canter when he started jumping up and down on the spoty, a bit of head throwing around and some spinning too. Now had this of happened in my 20's, I think I would have been fine and just laughed it off, if not gee'd him up a bit more, but now I'm not sure I really like that and I was massively concerned he was going to tank off and chuck me out of the side door (against some trees....) so to speak.

So back to original question - do you think I just need more 'miles in the saddle' or do you genuinely think that once you've lost it, it's difficult to get that comfort level back again.

Any thoughts would be really helpful....

[CluckyKate]

Abso-bloody-lutely! If you really want to get back into riding & enjoy it like you did before then you of course you can do it!

It takes time and patience though. Cast your mind back 20 years and I bet you were fitter, more supple plus you rode....LOTS.
And now, a little bit older, perhaps a bit stiffer, more responsibilities (mortgage, kids etc?!?!?) plus you're riding, what, once a week??? Hardly surprising it'll take more than a few lessons to get your mojo back.

Keep doing what you're doing and stay in your comfort zone. Over time your muscles will tone-up, your riding will improve and you will not only be more relaxed (& so will the horse) but you'll also be better equipped to deal with such antics.

The most important thing is to enjoy it - it's supposed to be fun

[HandbagAddiction]

Thanks - that's exactly what I needed to hear and apologies for all my typos in the first post!!

You're right of course - it will just take patience! I guess i'm just frustrated that I couldn't just jump straight back on and go galloping off into the distance without a care in the world.....

[Pixel]

I sincerely hope it is possible because I'm working very hard at getting my confidence back!

I agree with everything CluckyKate says. It does take time and patience and you have to learn to be firm about what you feel comfortable with. If you don't fancy going out for a couple of hours when it's blowing a gale and all the horses are on their toes then don't let other people 'persuade' you. It's nice to feel you are making steady progress (which is where I'm starting to be now thank goodness), but if you try to push it too soon and undo all your good work it gets rather depressing! So keep it fun and don't be hard on yourself (or let anyone else put you down), it will come in time.

[frostyfingers]

With age comes responsibility and you are much more aware of the difficulties if you do have an accident of any type.

I hurt my shoulder badly needing 2 operations in the end and I have to say it has turned me into a much more cautious rider - having been out of action for almost 6 months altogether (no lifting, driving, unable to dress/undress unaided etc) it I'm so worried about it happening again that I'm not the carefree rider I was.

That said, I'm not nervous and don't mind a lively ride!

You need to find a plod who will carry you safely and comfortably until you get bored of that, then move up a grade and so on. Whatever you do, don't give up on riding!

[marge2]

I do think it's possible to get going again. I had a break of about 4/5 years after having the kids. Managed to keep my horse by putting her out on loan. Got her back about 2 years ago. I went hunting last year - she was a STAR - we had a blast. Felt like I'd never been away. However, she is a real confidence giver.

Ex race horses though. Hmmm.. Not sure about that! I thought they are more prone to being very exciteable, pissing off etc.. Perhaps not the best type of horse to ride to get your confidence back.

[CalamityKate]

Dunno.

When I left school I started work on a YTS scheme (showing my age there...) at a livery/showjumping/breaking yard. We also used to take horses in for schooling/sorting out. My keenness far outweighed my lack of experience (I'd only ridden riding school dobbins before) but I'd get on ANYTHING. The just-backed babies, the nutters in for re-schooling because they reared/bucked/buggered off/spooked - anything.

The more they pratted about and the flashier they looked, the more I liked it.

I went on to train and qualify as an instructor.

However, looking back, the turning point was when I got my first mortgage. I wasn't working with horses any more, but still able to ride as often as I liked because I had a horse of my own. She was a bit of a fruitcake - very spooky and quick to turn 180 degrees if she saw a bit of grass she didn't like the look of. Gradually I became more and more reluctant to ride her; years before she'd have been just my cup of tea but now, every time she spooked, the thought of being off work and unable to pay the mortgage was at the forefront of my mind.

I sold her, with a sigh of relief, to a teen who'd had some lessons on her and fallen in love.

Since I've had the kids, the thought of unpaid mortgages has been overtaken by the thought of broken limbs or worse.

My friend who until fairly recently owned the riding school I worked at, and who was even gutsier and gung ho than I was, says she feels the same. I think you get more cautious about a lot of things when you get older and have more responsibility.

I ride from time to time - the aforementioned friend and I go for nice little pootles around the countryside when the sun is shining but anything more exciting than that makes me nervous.

And although if the kids wanted to learn to ride I'd let them, I just KNOW I'd be the sort of mother I used to laugh about when I was teaching. The sort that hovers in the corner of the indoor school, anxiously bobbing up and down like a Meercat every time the pony breaks into a trot, and rushes over going "OH MY GOD ARE YOU ALRIGHT????" if the child takes a tumble, while the instructor waves them away irritably, going "Whoopsie! You OK? Right, on you get..."