Anyone ever walked out of a job....literally walked out?

(131 Posts)
nocontactforevermore Thu 23-Jan-14 14:38:33

I posted a thread on AIBU a few weeks ago and fb eh suggested asking on here as well. I have been in a temp post 6 weeks approx. Its part time, an academy and basically awful. In the briefest terms, the dept is a mess, kids are wild, and have embarked on an almost predicable witch hunt against me because they are disillusioned, fed up etc. The kids seem to rule the school, calling me foul names etc. Line manager tries to support, takes naughtiest out etc, but it's truly awful. No books, little ICT equipment, kids wee even studying wrong exam board. It's dreadful.

I want out. Union just said 'check their terms and conditions to see when you can leave/read the behaviour policy etc. useless.

Trouble is, I don't even want to go back Monday. I feel ill already and I'm only part time. I literally cannot face it.
I've had an 11 year unbroken career before this and took this jib so I could be in a less stressful role. I was a middle manager before this with a successful track record. I'm an idiot.

Twitterqueen Thu 23-Jan-14 14:43:12

yes, but not education, in an IT company.
I don't regret it for a minute. I went home and worked out my notice at home (it was a bit pointless really, but they were good enough to pay me til end of the month. There were no consequences - the company was sorry and very surprised. I was hugely relieved. We were all very reasonable about it. smile

I'd only been there about 5 weeks I think.

MothratheMighty Thu 23-Jan-14 14:45:08

Have you got a written contract with T&C? You know the usual thing in state schools is that you can resign in half term and leave at Easter, but I haven't a clue about academies.
If you do walk out/not show up on Monday, it may impact on future employment, so if you can't face it get a doctor's appointment and ask for time off for stress. Horrible position to be in, but feeling an idiot won't help, you need to focus on escape. smile

MarshaBrady Thu 23-Jan-14 14:47:33

Yes. But I did it very early before I met clients, the commission had been paid to the rc and they have invested any time at all in training and meetings with senior people.

MarshaBrady Thu 23-Jan-14 14:47:45

Not a teacher I should add.

Helpyourself Thu 23-Jan-14 14:49:04

I have. It wasn't my finest hour and I then 'erased' it from my CV.
I'd taken a full time role on as my youngest started school. Literally dropped him off and went into my new school for an inset day. When I went to collect him he was fine but I realised that I'd not manage to ever collect him on time and that the 3dcs would have to go into before and after school care once my new school was on normal timetable. That night I worked out the sums, went in and taught the morning (very badly) and left before the end of the day- I had a free last thing.
I went into the heads office and said, 'I'm sorry, I've bitten off more than I can chew and I can't do this.' He was lovely and I walked out!

Tigerstripes Thu 23-Jan-14 14:51:02

You say temp post. Are you employed by the school or agency? How long do you have left if you have a contract?

JustAWaterForMePlease Thu 23-Jan-14 14:53:12

I remember your previous thread. If things haven't improved and it's affecting your wellbeing, then go. They have massively screwed you over, it wasn't what you signed up for, and any future employer will understand that. Given how you were feeling at the beginning of the month, I'm incredibly impressed you've stuck it out this long.

From a legal perspective though, getting signed off for stress seems like a sensible (and valid!) first step.

Helpyourself Thu 23-Jan-14 14:54:33

The alternative would have been doing as Mothra suggests which you need to do to claim unemployment benefit, or want to stay in teaching. I didn't and we soon after emigrated and I changed industry.
I think your best way forward is via the union. The job you're doing and the conditions are so not what you were led to expect that you should be able to negotiate an earlier leaving.

nocontactforevermore Thu 23-Jan-14 15:03:35

Thanks all. I've contacted the union, they were utterly useless. It was my first time contacting them in 11 years and have paid bloody subs all that time! They literally told me to read the behavioural policy and ask the school what they were going to do. They then told me to ask for a copy of my contract (I signed the original and gave it back so have no idea what the conditions are for leaving). I simply don't want to go in there causing ructions, asking for the resignation policy, the behaviour policy or whatever. I can't face it.

nocontactforevermore Thu 23-Jan-14 15:05:33

I was called a 'cunt' today by a kid, and she proceeded to film me as I shouted at her. She then had the audacity to take the video to the deputy head and make a complaint. The head said I seem to be having a problem establishing a rapport with the kids. For real.

Does that sound like someone who will take kindly to me asking for their policy's on xyz?

MothratheMighty Thu 23-Jan-14 15:06:36

Doesn't sound like the NUT's advice line, try them if you aren't a member, and say that if they are any good, you'll swap unions!

MothratheMighty Thu 23-Jan-14 15:07:43

Aren't the policies available on their website? Or on the school system, without having to ask anyone?

nocontactforevermore Thu 23-Jan-14 15:08:48

Gosh rambling now but I am so reluctant to go down the stress route. I've been there a matter of weeks, will feel hugely guilty to take the money and not be there. I will also worry incessantly about it showing up on a future reference. I would LOVE to drop this hell hole from my CV. I worked for a very good school before this and know they will give me a good ref if ONLY I didn't have to mention this hell hole. I can't though, can I? Future employers want your last place of work and I would probably not even be able to work in the borough if I just walked:/ Could I?

nocontactforevermore Thu 23-Jan-14 15:10:46

Yeah I went onto the system just now looking for the policies and can't find them but will try again now, I'm just wound up. I also know I need to try the union again.

MothratheMighty Thu 23-Jan-14 15:11:05

Get your GP's support, it's incredibly common now in teaching.
If you do just walk, then yes, the school can put whatever spin it likes on your going. Can you last out until Easter?

nocontactforevermore Thu 23-Jan-14 15:11:49

I guess I could last til Easter but I think I would still end up with a bad ref for walking out before the summer

MothratheMighty Thu 23-Jan-14 15:12:11

Can you ask another, friendly member of staff to help you locate the policies?
They should really be easily accessible to everyone, including parents.

nocontactforevermore Thu 23-Jan-14 15:12:48

I feel as though I'm doomed already. There is also another temp teacher there who is having a terrible time. They don't seen to care. I feel damned if I stay on and damned if I walk.

MothratheMighty Thu 23-Jan-14 15:13:28

If you can last until Easter, resigning at half term, there is nothing they can do. That would be my choice, if I felt my sanity and temper would hold out.

MothratheMighty Thu 23-Jan-14 15:14:21

You are not doomed, you are tunnelling and planning your escape!
Freedom is a few steps away, don't despair.

knickernicker Thu 23-Jan-14 15:16:13

Does it matter if asking for the policy causes ructions? You're not doing it to hurt the school, you're just politely saying you plan to leave and finding out when you'll be able to do so.
If you need to work some notice just take it all slowly, provide lots of wordsearches and activities that keep the kids calmer.

HesterShaw Thu 23-Jan-14 15:19:28

Sounds absolutely horrific.

You need to remember that it's your life. You don't owe anyone anything. If you keep going at something which you hate and is making you ill, you won't get that time back.

Can you be signed off?

This is such a problem in teaching and the government refuses to acknowledge it. The teacher bashing media and public don't make it any better.

ajandjjmum Thu 23-Jan-14 15:19:48

Surely other staff must feel as you do, in which case the school must have a high staff turnover, which speaks for itself.

As far as your CV is concerned, can you not say that the ethos of the school simply didn't match your values, so you left after time?

nocontactforevermore Thu 23-Jan-14 15:19:54

Thank moth, you're kind.

I honestly don't know if I can last. I know they are going to bollock me for shouting at this kid and imply I have no relationships with the kids. This is par for the course when a school knows it's shit. I absolutely know they will pin it on me and it's gonna take everything I have not to blow my lid and tell them the place is a mess. (It is)

I hate that teachers are subject to conditions that others are not. The abuse is awful....being made to stay in it for a terms notice is worse again.

HesterShaw Thu 23-Jan-14 15:19:54

Fuck guilty. Get out of there.

nocontactforevermore Thu 23-Jan-14 15:21:57

Many potential schools actually request a reference before inviting you for interview. I doubt I will ever get as far as an interview with this school brandishing me a failure.

silkknickers Thu 23-Jan-14 15:22:16

yes. I walked out of a teaching job after six weeks. I left on the Friday and never went back in. I was crying in the morning as soon as I reached the school gates and I realised that I just needed to leave for my mental health.

I got another job very soon after, and have been in it for nine years now and love it!

nocontactforevermore Thu 23-Jan-14 15:24:48

Also, I burst into tears today to my line manager and told her 'I'd had enough' , and walked from the room really upset. She hasn't been in touch all day - never even sent a quick email to see if I was ok. I was a line manager in my last role and wouldn't have behaved towards my staff like this. Not in a million years. This is a manager who sends me email requests at 11pm at but and yet she hasn't enquired after my well being all fucking day. For all she knows, I meant what I said when I left her room.

nocontactforevermore Thu 23-Jan-14 15:25:21

Silk- how did you explain leaving?

Helpyourself Thu 23-Jan-14 15:26:08

Walk out and go straight to your GP. The stress sounds intolerable. And get back to the union and demand their support.
And as Hester says 'fuck guilty'.
You're not abandoning them moments before they qualify as doctors for a war zone- fuck 'em!

Go to the doctor, get signed off sick with stress and hand your notice in. Plenty of teachers do it who are not in as impossible as situation as yours. If this job is making you ill with anxiety a doctor will sign you off.

nocontactforevermore Thu 23-Jan-14 15:27:25

Love MN

aroomofherown Thu 23-Jan-14 15:27:49

If you've only been there a short time then no-one will be interested in a reference from them anyway.

I'd walk! And I'm a teacher. It's your life and some schools are seriously damaging. I left a job at Christmas once (not in my first year though) and wasn't a day without supply teaching until I got a promotion in the September.

It wasn't ideal but it was certainly better.

Helpyourself Thu 23-Jan-14 15:28:57

nocontact that final bit about crying in front of your line manager and her not then checking on you- really don't go back.

I've just read where you say you 'don't want to go down the stress route'. I would agree with you if we were suggesting you fake stress. You are truthfully massively and unreasonably stressed. Your job has caused this. There is nothing wrong with telling a GP this. If you later want to erase it from your cv that's fine.
And as for feeling bad for taking the money, you are entitled to sick pay, that's why you've paid national insurance for years.
Phone the GP now and don't go in tomorrow.

MothratheMighty Thu 23-Jan-14 15:31:13

Remember, there will be hundreds of eager beavers waiting to snatch up your job, and being an academy, they won't even have to be trained teachers.
No one is irreplaceable.

gennibugs Thu 23-Jan-14 15:35:15

Im more of a lurker than a poster but wanted to add my support.

being that unhappy in a job is awful and where you say your line manager hasnt contacted you after being in tears is horrid.

I walked out of a job (not teaching). I literally walked out into a busy London street crying my heart out. My dad came and got me, took me to the doctor and I was signed off. I then handed in my notice and never went back. I was there a few years so had to put it on my CV and Ive always said I left to go travelling to explain the gap of a couple of months on my CV and its never been questioned.

Honestly, plan your escape - whether you get signed off or hand your notice in, you cant go on like this you poor poor thing.

aroomofherown Thu 23-Jan-14 15:45:25

gennibugs I went "travelling" too. I was never questioned either.

nocontactforevermore Thu 23-Jan-14 15:53:18

Thanks you all so much. I used to work in a high achieving school, there was an enormous persistent pressure me to perform but aside from that, my subject was a dumping ground for the naughty kids and it was a hellish 2 years. I didn't sleep or eat. Somehow through sheer stubbornness and fear of ruining my career I stuck it out and it got better. I keep thinking it will be the same here. I left my last job in oct half term after 5 years and although my HT wasn't happy, he let me go and is essentially a good person. My reasons for leaving is because although I no longer had behavioural problems, the pressure for performance was always there.

I am not a quitter. I keep thinking it will get better. I don't have a workspace though, or a room, or a key to the rooms, we have to shift about every lesson (literally every lesson) and I am ignored when I bring it up. They know I was a manager in my last job and are expecting MASSIVE things from me with no fucking tools to do the job.
I am a strong person. I know I could stay, but I left a stressful well paying job to stop all this. I no longer want to do it. Part of me keeps thinking back to how bad it was at the start of my last job - and I was so low that I thought crashing my car on the way to work would be a great way to avoid going in. I am not there yet with this job, so feel somewhat weak and a bit fraudulent for thinking about going sick.

nocontactforevermore Thu 23-Jan-14 15:56:37

'Travelling'

Love that idea - might be hard to explain with a 7yo

nocontactforevermore Thu 23-Jan-14 16:09:10

Maybe I could say we went on a soul searching trip to India for a year a la Emma Thompsongrin

JuliaScurr Thu 23-Jan-14 16:26:18

NUT should offer a rep to negotiate for you, not tell you to do it yourself. Phone them again. Get signed off with stress
good luck

nocontactforevermore Thu 23-Jan-14 16:33:14

Would getting signed off on stress mean I couldn't just drop it from my CV? I mean.....doesn't it kinda crank things up a bit? As opposed to just walking and then going silent ok them? That's what I really want to do!

SukiTakeItOffAgain Thu 23-Jan-14 16:36:43

I walked out on a job once (Not teaching). It wasn't my finest hour but was the worst place I've ever worked (I did a lot of temping prior to working there). They were horrific to me, sexually harassed me, screamed at me. I had no desk and had to hop on other people's when they went to the toilet. We could only have 2 drinks a day. We didn't have a contract.

In hindsight I wish I'd gone down a more formal route than shouting 'shall I just put a brush up my arse?' and then bolting out of the door when one of the jumped up long-termers (not even a manager) launched himself at me aggressively.

I went home and shook and sobbed all night. They paid me up to the day I left which surprised me, I didn't expect another pay packet.

I've put 'travelling' on my CV too wink

nocontactforevermore Thu 23-Jan-14 17:45:46

Has any of you who are teachers actually 'dropped' a crappy stint in a school from your CV? I've my eye on two jobs in the borough for the same LA and I have a horrible feeling I just would not get away with itconfused

MamaMary Thu 23-Jan-14 17:58:38

Noconact, I remember your last thread. Did you send the email that was suggested, about the expectations placed on you not correlating with your part-time role, the extra unpaid meetings they were expecting you to stay for etc? What was the outcome?

ContinentalKat Thu 23-Jan-14 17:59:43

I think you shouting at a kid today might actually be a blessing in disguise!
You will have a talk with your superior in which you will agree that you are obviously not compatible with the school's ethos and tell them that you will be resigning. Could they remind you of the terms, please.
If you are very lucky, they will offer you gardening leave, or you can still go down the GP route.

I would also "go travelling" or do a sabbatical or similar on the CV.

Good luck, and focus on yourself. You don't owe anybody anything!

nocontactforevermore Thu 23-Jan-14 18:09:01

Continent-

Mama- yes! I sent the email and it resulted in a meeting with my line manager - who I've actually come to like because it would seem she is also massively put upon. We had a meeting that was pretty much off the record in that she was only writing some of it down. I came away feeling massively sorry for her and pledging to help her (what a dick I am). Thing is, she is a nice person - but her radio silence today tells me she fears for her job. Not because of this - but overall. She will hang me out to dry if she has to.
I've had a formal email from the pastoral office requesting a written account of what happened today and nothing else. What a shower of fuckers. The email said they had taken statements from the kids and were waiting to hear my side of the story. According to the pastoral team, the kids are terrified of me (have taught some of them literally 6 times).

Who operates like this? Statements? My side of the story????

nocontactforevermore Thu 23-Jan-14 18:11:22

Sorry that should have also said 'continental' - I very much anticipate that I will be having a conversation about their ethos/my ethos.

No doubt their response will be something along the lines of 'we will make sure you never work in the borough again'.

MamaMary Thu 23-Jan-14 18:12:33

I don't know. It sounds a complete mess. sad

nocontactforevermore Thu 23-Jan-14 18:13:22

confused

Ubik1 Thu 23-Jan-14 18:24:37

I'm not a teacher...that is truly shocking - they have taken statements from the pupils and are now demanding your side of the story?????? How on earth can you go in and teach those children again when they have been allowed to discredit you to your managers?

I'm not in teaching...but from the outside, Christ almighty is this the way schools are run now?

Op - you have one life. Get signed off. This is an absolute nightmare and you are too good for it.

Ubik1 Thu 23-Jan-14 18:26:17

Could you get signed off, apply fir other jobs and be honest about the shit fest at interview?

nocontactforevermore Thu 23-Jan-14 18:26:18

Oh yes, statements. They want a statement from me. They said they are concerned by how terrified the kids are and want to talk to me.

ZingSweetApple Thu 23-Jan-14 18:29:33

a friend did.
had an opportunity for a 6 week visit and stay in Australia with her family and asked fir extended leave (added to annual leave and 4 weeks unpaid)

Employer said no. she said well I'm going either way - do find a replacement asap.grin

nocontactforevermore Thu 23-Jan-14 18:34:22

Ubik I think a lot of employers request a reference before thur offer you an interview. They would find out about me before I got a chance to explain myself :/

Scarletohello Thu 23-Jan-14 18:35:28

All I can say about this from years of working is..

NO JOB IS WORTH YOUR MENTAL HEALTH!

No job. I had a job where I was so upset and angry about how I was being treated ( and this was a charity) that I would lay awake at night, unable to sleep, ruminating about it. If its not right for you, do whatever you have to do and go.

MothratheMighty Thu 23-Jan-14 18:38:18

Statements from pupils after any incident are standard practice now, part of the whole pupil voice and transparency. Allegations are investigated, but the children should feel free to say whatever they want to.
Then you have to refute their accusations. Be very clear about what you did, said, how you said it and any NV that went on, such as proximity and hand gestures.

Scarletohello Thu 23-Jan-14 18:41:32

Also, listen to your self talk, you are saying that if you leave you will be a quitter, weak and fraudulent. These things are not fundamentally true about you. You have lots of admirable qualities but you are not getting the tools or support to do this job. You are obviously a very conscientious person. It's not your fault. Let go and walk away. You will thank yourself for this in years to come...

nocontactforevermore Thu 23-Jan-14 18:48:12

Thanks guys.so nice.

Mortha, I know it's logical, statements and all that, have experienced it before. I've just never been told to express my 'side of the story' , like somehow what I might say is lies or in doubt. It all feels so awful. I'm glugging wine as we speak. I did not leave a middle management well paying job for this:/
Even the good kids in the class have jumped on board - there's a witch hunt going on and I can do nothing about it:/

MiaowTheCat Thu 23-Jan-14 18:51:09

A) If the school is as shit and badly run as you say it is - every other head in the area will know.

B) Nothing is worth your mental health - I shredded the living shit out of mine flogging myself to death for the class from absolute hell and nightmare parents who would resent and undermine absolutely everything you did... my mental health's never recovered - I'm left with a stammer when I become stressed, panic attacks, depression, anxiety and I'll never be in a mentally well enough state to work full time again. My regret is that I didn't go off sick much much sooner than I did.

Ubik1 Thu 23-Jan-14 18:51:15

But surely calling a teacher a 'cunt' is instant suspension if not expulsion. It's gross misconduct at work.

I can see the need fir a third party to talk to pupil about what went on but taking statements? Giving them the impression that their behaviour was in any way justified..sigh... I suppose I was at school a long time ago.

nocontactforevermore Thu 23-Jan-14 18:56:43

The kid that called me a cunt was in the corridor the next day laughing and sneering on the corners. She WAS taken out of my class though. Isn't that fab?

ThatVikRinA22 Thu 23-Jan-14 18:58:43

i think i would be contacting your union.

last year, i went off with "stress" and had a 5 month stint off work. It did me the world of good, and i didnt think i would go back to the profession im in (its not teaching but another public service which is bashed, its workforce disillusioned and morale very low)

i think if you cant stomach the thought of riding it out until easter then its your only other option really.

i did go back and its not adversely affected my career path - in fact it made my management sit up and take notice of the pressure i was under.

at least talk to your GP.

MaeveWest Thu 23-Jan-14 19:00:38

I did.

Years ago. Was much, much younger. Boss was an ignorant baffoon. He made me sort through rubbish to look for a post it note. Ridiculous. I think he got off on it. I did it, to my shame, when I didn't find the fucking post - it note he had the nerve to tut me. I took my mug, took my CV out of the filing cabinet so they couldn't bother me at home, and I said bye instead of see you and walked out. He was some asshole that fat bastard.

MaeveWest Thu 23-Jan-14 19:01:26

ps, when I say rubbish, I don't mean a little paper waste bin. I mean a big black back of refuse that had already gone outside.

FireMaker Thu 23-Jan-14 19:03:53

I suspect you could just miss it off your cv. I have had several part time/full time/sahm time over the past 6 years and no one is ever that interested.

I would leave a gap on your cv, and if questioned say that you tried to be a sahm but you missed the teaching.

woodrunner Thu 23-Jan-14 19:04:42

Get yourself signed off sick with stress. Then sort out how to leave. I saw your first thread. I can't believe you are still there.

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Thu 23-Jan-14 19:08:43

Just go. Seriously, go. Go off sick and resign ASAP.

inadreamworld Thu 23-Jan-14 19:11:10

I am a teacher too and so is DH. I have walked out of two jobs - one a crappy sales job when I was very young. I didn't make any sales (ad sales) and the boss was horrible. They didn;t pay me my last months salary but I was so glad to be gone I didn't make a fuss. No come back - I had only been there a few weeks so left it off my CV.

I walked out of one school for similar reasons to you. They threatened me with legal action but they did nothing. I wrote to the head saying I was so stressed and the place was making me ill (it was!). They wouldn't give me a reference of course but I had only been there 2 months and the next school accepted a reference from an earlier job.

I say walk out don't make yourself ill.

nkf Thu 23-Jan-14 19:13:42

I read your last thread and it sounds awful. Can't you go to whoever it is and say something along the lines of this isn't working out, it's not what I expected and I would like to leave asap. Let's talk terms and conditions and how soon I can leave.

You are making asssumptions that they are going to bad mouth you all over town. Maybe. Maybe not. If they do, then deal with that then. But don't put up with an intolerable situation because you are imagining a future scenario.

Phineyj Thu 23-Jan-14 19:28:33

I honestly don't think a school this disorganised and uncaring are going to bother to badmouth you and if you've been there a very short time, it's not relevant as a reference anyway. There will be a way to cover it on a CV.

Just go - no job's worth this angst. They'll do some deal with you. It's not that unusual for otherwise good employees to make a mistake one time in a career re accepting a job. Thinking about myself and friends, we've all done it at some point.

cat811 Thu 23-Jan-14 19:31:00

Fwiw, in my experience references are only taken up if they like you at interview - on any application forms I have filled in, there is a box you tick if you don't want them to contact your references before interview/before they decide if they want you (which is needed for situations where you are applying for a job before handing notice in)
I think you would definitely be able to explain the situation in an interview - plus you can say you have out them as one ref, but that as you were only there a limited no of weeks,a more accurate picture of you would be achieved by contacting the school before, where you were for much longer.If they like you and want you, they won't be put off by what a short-term place says about you.

nocontactforevermore Thu 23-Jan-14 21:48:30

I feel better already.....so does anyone think I could actually get away with turning my phone off and literally not turning up on Monday? Like pretending the whole thing never happened?

itsbetterthanabox Thu 23-Jan-14 21:51:01

I walked out on a job. Told them what I thought of them and left. Just started looking for a new job, it was fine.

nocontactforevermore Thu 23-Jan-14 22:00:32

In teaching?

Tigerstripes Thu 23-Jan-14 22:01:31

My husband worked at a horrible school, sounds similar to yours. He was signed off with stress, resigned and dropped it from his cv. It now says 'day to day supply' in that part. No one has ever cared.
If you break contract I believe they can sue you. Whether they would or not is another matter. If I were you, I would get signed off then resign properly.

ThatVikRinA22 Thu 23-Jan-14 22:04:32

yep - get signed off then resign. or just resign.

i wouldnt advocate just not turning up on monday tempting though it may be.

get signed off
resign
look for another job in a better school. use previous school/teaching job for references.

how likely would they be to sue for breach of contract? really?

beatricequimby Thu 23-Jan-14 22:05:42

Hi OP, I am a teacher too and really sympathise. I think you should email your resignation and say that you will not be returning given the circumstances. They probably won't pursue it but go off sick if you have to. I bet all the other headteachers in the borough know how awful your school is and will understand the situation you are in so I don't think it will affect your chances of employment as you can get a good reference from your old school. The very worst thing that could happen is that you have to do a bit of supply to get a foot in the door at another school and another good reference. Then in future if you do have to mention awful school on an application form it will just look like short term supply.

ilovesooty Thu 23-Jan-14 22:27:00

Fwiw, in my experience references are only taken up if they like you at interview - on any application forms I have filled in, there is a box you tick if you don't want them to contact your references before interview/before they decide if they want you (which is needed for situations where you are applying for a job before handing notice in)

That doesn't apply in teaching due to Safer Recruitment.

Dromedary Thu 23-Jan-14 22:31:07

I wouldn't take time off with stress - it would look bad if mentioned in a reference. If you have to take time off it's better to have flu than stress. Not long till Easter...

ilovesooty Thu 23-Jan-14 22:31:13

I think your best option is to go sick, hand in your resignation, and try to negotiate early release from your contract. You will have to state that school as your last place of employment but it would be quite reasonable to seek a reference from your previous head as well. Other schools in the LA will doubtless be aware of the problems there.

You really can't just not turn up to work though, tempting as the idea might be. You do need to get out though: no job should be like this.

ilovesooty Thu 23-Jan-14 22:32:57

I think it would be quite reasonable to explain that the school caused you to be ill. Your previous good work record speaks for itself, surely?

Dromedary Fri 24-Jan-14 00:08:07

You're a teacher - can't just not turn up to work!! And it would be terrible for your reputation, surely. If you're ill, go off sick. And maybe arrange to meet with the Head and discuss the situatoin and negotiate early release.

nocontactforevermore Fri 24-Jan-14 00:22:07

'You're a teacher'!

This plays over and over in my mind 24hrs a day. This is what I mean about being subject to expectations and conditions quite unlike any other job.

ThatVikRinA22 Fri 24-Jan-14 00:41:52

i dont think your job is necessarily unique in the expectations stakes - but i think what people are trying to say is that there will be a class of children waiting on monday morning - what ever you think of them and the school.

i think you owe it to the children in that class and the staff who will bear the brunt not to just abandon them - to at least allow the school to arrange cover.

i went off sick but i did not abandon any of the victims i was working for - i appraised my supervisor and he re allocated the crimes under investigation for them. i had victims expecting results, suspects coming back on bail, interviews lined up etc etc. I could not have just left everyone in the lurch and i was really ill at the time.

i do understand the pressure - i went off ill after i attended a particularly violent incident alone and out numbered. i was placed in physical danger. i had to come to terms with what my role entails and decide if i wanted to go back or not.
i went back. i have been fine since going back. i just now know im alone and i accept those risks now and am ok with it.

i dont think you are thinking straight - either resign and give them notice to find a supply or go off sick and let them find a supply - but dont just walk out. There is a right way and a wrong way to do this. you can leave either way - but do it the right way.

ThatVikRinA22 Fri 24-Jan-14 00:43:26

im a police officer btw.....i know many on here know what i do but my last post sounded all cryptic without explaining!

TimeToPassGo Fri 24-Jan-14 00:51:36

You had great advice on last thread OP, including how to explain the CV. 'Temporary teacher of X from 1st Jan to 24th Jan 2014.' Or substitute 'supply teaching' for temp teacher.

You need to get out of there. Why are you dithering? Go in tomorrow and tell them you won't be returning. If they decide to be twats about it tell them you are giving notice and will be signed off sick. They will let you go without a murmur.

Don't go off on 'stress' unless it's 100% genuine. sad it very easy to fake but it's also extremely dishonest.

If you genuinely think you may be unfit for work then get down to your GPs immediately!

Your union must help you. (Surely!) Can you start documenting everything and preparing a 'defence'. If you hand in your notice ASAP then you may be able to negotiate that you can leave immediately especially if you offer to go without pay or at reduced pay. Any normal and I can see they are not normal wouldn't want an unwilling employee turning up.

Athrawes Fri 24-Jan-14 01:43:59

Sign off sick.
Then ask for a meeting with the Governors/Sponsor and talk to them. Tell them what you told us about a student videoing you in the classroom and how the head handled it.
They are running this as a business and should want that business to succeed.
Then put it down to "short term relief" on your CV and look for another job.

nocontactforevermore Fri 24-Jan-14 08:09:31

I did have good advice on the last thread, and I took it. I sent the email I was advised to and I've also posted on here.

I wouldn't call in sick on a whim. I've had around 12 days sickness in 11 years. This isn't something I would do lightly. I'm dithering because I am in a turmoil about it.

Lagoonablue Fri 24-Jan-14 08:23:21

Don't go in but ring in sick. Go to GP get a sick note for stress. How long is your contract? Either resign or stay off sick til it ends. Look for another job.

nocontactforevermore Fri 24-Jan-14 08:35:14

Contract til summer. Doubt I could get covered until then but also doubt I could get another job at this time of year. I will do TA work on supply or something. I am finished with teaching.

silkknickers Fri 24-Jan-14 10:00:55

sorry for not responding sooner!
I saw the HT on the Friday and just said 'I'm leaving today and I won't be back'. He didn't really say anything - it was really odd. Your story sounds very similar to mine, but I was an NQT. I was covering all the lower ability classes and had no resources to hand - the HoD would have to 'authorise' every bit of photocopying I did, and I too had no permanent classroom; I was nomadic. I would also call for help - but no one would come!
I was not having regular sessions with anyone senior regarding my NQT stuff, either.
I just realised that it wasn't worth getting ill over it (and I have a history of depression and I could see the symptoms beginning to develop already!)
I was very lucky as I had a previous profession that I dropped back into temporarily and then got a job teaching in the adult sector.
With hindsight I think I would have had grounds to complain about my treatment there, but really I just wanted out of the whole place. I am honest on my CV, and when questioned I explain the situation professionally and honestly (although I AM careful not to run the school down as that wouldn't look good to a future employer!)
No contact, if I were you I really would walk. You really will feel SO MUCH better once you are out of that environment.

Juliealpha Fri 24-Jan-14 11:11:38

I walked out of a middle management job in the NHS last year. I had worked my way up over 23 years. I worked full time, as the department was 24 hours I was being phoned all hours 24/7 and I have 3 children. I was making myself very ill sad
I was signed off ill and then walked straight into another job in a school (not teaching) I now have lots of time with my children. it's honestly the best decision I've ever made!

I was very honest at my last interview, they said they could see that and that's what got me the job wink

nocontactforevermore Fri 24-Jan-14 11:13:24

Silk and Julie.
Those are promising stories. Thanks.

meerschweinchen Fri 24-Jan-14 11:28:34

Sounds awful. Do you actually want to stay in teaching though? If you don't, could you just stick it out until half-term, and then hand your notice in then ( and not go back?) If you're looking for a new non-teaching job, presumably you could always list your previous school for references? If you do want to stay in teaching, I guess just hand your notice in immediately and leave at Easter ( unless you could negotiate with the head to leave earlier? Might be worth a try?)

nocontactforevermore Fri 24-Jan-14 11:39:34

I won't be sTaying in teaching but i would still like to work in a school - perhaps support work. I have a young dd so the hours suit me and besides I like being around young people and education. I just don't want to teach anymore. Sad isn't it?

I couldn't stay there til summer so I will definitely be negotiating an early dart.

TimeToPassGo Fri 24-Jan-14 12:33:51

What was the outcome of the email you sent? What response did you get?

If it wasn't satisfactory I would have walked at that stage and told them why. If you think your mental and physical health is worth sacrificing for a temporary job where you're treated like shit then by all means stay.

If not, pull on your big girl boots and walk. Believe me, this school has bigger problems than coming after one teacher who left. They've probably been expecting it for weeks now.

winklewoman Fri 24-Jan-14 13:31:38

You were advised on the other thread to bypass your school union rep and go straight to the regional office. Did you do this or was the advice on policies etc. from the school rep?

winklewoman Fri 24-Jan-14 13:45:22

There are three permitted leaving dates for teachers, one of which is 30th April, and for this you have until 28th Feb to resign. Bearing in mind that one week before then will be half term and a couple of weeks should be Easter holidays, you have approximately nine weeks term time to cope with. As you only work two days a week, can you look on it as 18 days to get through with the end in sight? This would certainly help with any future reference.

Pooka Fri 24-Jan-14 15:01:16

You won't be able to drop it from your cv as a teacher and in relation to the DBS (crb) checks I think that you have to state every place of employment.

Was talking to my mum (ex teacher) who told me this. Think it might relate to Ian Huntley (Soham) because he dropped a place of employment from his CV and so CRB wasn't complete (I understand).

FireMaker Fri 24-Jan-14 15:09:15

Places of employment are not asked about on crb form, so no problem there with pretending it didn't exist.

slug Fri 24-Jan-14 15:15:52

Is it possible you are still in the probationary period of your contract? If so, then it's easier to walk out. I did that once, on the last day of my probation I walked. They had promised me a trainee role but I was put in a corner and expected to get on with it with no training or support. Not teaching, though I have been a teacher so I sympathise. It was a highly technical role with a highly idiosynchratic structure that would have been impossible to do without initial support.

When asked about it now I say I left for 'family responsibilities', though I will be quite open about my reasons for leaving if pushed.

nocontactforevermore Fri 24-Jan-14 15:16:00

The email I sent resulted in a meeting with my line manager (as stated earlier on in the thread). She spoke a lot about how she had been shafted was glad I was on board etc. she only wrote a fraction down of what we spoke of. We had an action plan for behaviour and made a lot of calls home to parents. The following week however, 3 girls who had verbally abused me were allowed back in my lesson. One of them is not allowed contact with home so we were unable to have the support of parents anyway. In terms of how she was expecting me to tackle my workload, she kept saying how we needed to 'work together'. I ended up coming away feeling sorry for her - what a dick I am, because since the latest incident, she has reverted to writing me very formal emails, whereas before she was all casual and matey.

Yes it was the NUT regional rep. I wouldn't have the first clue who the school based one is.

I actually like the 18 days idea. I really like it!

NigellasDealer Fri 24-Jan-14 15:17:46

yes i have and it was fantastic
it was a language school in london and a class of arrogant Swiss kids rolling their eyes at me
i just walked out and got the bus home grin

Nellymay Fri 24-Jan-14 16:02:16

You are in what seems to be a dysfunctional school - it will never be right, it will always be a toxic environment that is harmful to you.
I am a teacher now retired and I think that you need to get out for your own sake - life is too short to spend any more time there. Go off sick, email them and tell them you are reviewing your options and are taking advice from your union and your family.

I have been in similar situations and have managed to extricate myself - without too much pain. You're being worn down by this job and you're losing your sense of self and finding it hard to make decisions because of the stress it's causing you. Once you get out things will look much better.
Good luck

Ubik1 Fri 24-Jan-14 16:11:23

Just to cheer you up...

I did some casual work on the features desk at The Sun about 25 years ago, very young, and the woman in charge was abduteky fucking terrifying. She would pace about her office then suddenly throw the door open and start bollocking some poor minion. Me and the other casual freelance quaked through a morning and then grabbed put stuff and literally ran out the door at lunchtime never to return grin

Oh op, I really sympathise it's a horrid situation. If you held out til Easter you could just record it as a temporary position? Supply?

Echo the others - don't just run away, decide whether you need to go off with stress or hand in formal notice.

winklewoman Fri 24-Jan-14 16:31:02

Whatever job you apply for next, you would do better to resign w/e 30 April as you are perfectly entitled to do, and cite any reason you choose if anyone asks, rather than have 'gone off with stress' on your record - enough to put anyone off giving you a job. Remeber, 18 days and counting down!

Phineyj Fri 24-Jan-14 20:50:53

I agree with winkle and make a chart - when you are working out notice somewhere you hate, crossing days off in thick black pen is v. satisfying.

nocontactforevermore Fri 24-Jan-14 21:11:28

Aww thanks you guys. I appreciate the help. Will update as soon as I can

colander Sat 25-Jan-14 11:03:57

Please be aware that you will not be able to hide this period of employment for safe guarding reasons. Also, all future employers will need a reference from your most recent head - ie this one.

As a teacher, I sympathise with you. This is happening all too frequently in our schools and is being brushed under the carpet. You sound such a caring teacher, wanting to do well for these children. In your position I would stop shouting at them, why waste your time and energy, and get yourself signed off. I too would want to avoid this at all costs and can understand your reluctance, but the school has put you in a position where if you want to leave ths may be your only option if you want to stay in teaching.

Good luck

Twinkle186 Sat 25-Jan-14 11:57:06

nocontact a pupil at my school called a member of staff a cunt this week - he was excluded for three days and there were still plenty of people who said that this was not severe enough!

If your school lets pupils treat staff in this way then they are not worth your time, let alone your sanity. You certainly shouldn't feel guilty about leaving. I agree with the posters who suggest you get to the gp asap

nkf Sat 25-Jan-14 13:40:00

I really really disapprove of this getting signed off business. All she has to do is resign and wait a few weeks. She's not sick. She's in a badly run school and she has the option of resigning.

HesterShaw Sat 25-Jan-14 14:19:34

But she is shaking and crying about the mere idea of going in on Monday. Does that sound ok to you?

winklewoman Sat 25-Jan-14 14:31:15

Hester, it not a good situation for the OP but presumably other staff are coping. I agree with NFK, getting signed off is often the loser's easy way out. The Op seems to have the sense to hang on to the end of term in her own interests let alone that of the kids. She is being positive about a bad set-up and she should be given support to continue until the end of term.

nkf Sat 25-Jan-14 14:33:59

No, of course it doesn't sound okay. That's why, in my opinion, she should look at the option of resigning immediately. Why stay? She doesn't need the job. She's only been there a few weeks. The school sounds like shit. I bet the stress would lift as soon as she resigned. If she negotiated properly, they'd probably let her go by the end of the week.

winklewoman Sat 25-Jan-14 14:46:27

NFK, but even if she resigns immediately, it can only be effective from 1 April according to teachers' terms and cs. However if she does resign now with that date in mind, she might well be able to negotiate early release as you suggest, but not guaranteed.

nkf Sat 25-Jan-14 14:52:21

I know. But it's not working out and they will have to find someone new anyway or get in long term supply. She's barely been there. She might not be allowed to leave, but she might. It's worth asking. I just think getting upset and not doing the only thing that will get you out of this is a mistake. She's not coping. Now she's having to defend herself from accusations. This is the time to cut your losses in the quickest, most civilised way possible way.

I would say the line to take is, "This isn't working out. I intend to leave as soon as my contract allows and I would like to go sooner. Please can we make this happen." Over and over again.

As for the reference business, what sort of reference is she going to get if she hangs around becoming more and more upset and angry. Or calls in sick. They will know she isn't sick. It's time for honesty temperd with politeness.

winklewoman Sat 25-Jan-14 15:00:54

Yes, NFK, I agree with your suggestion on the line to take. But if they won't wear it, the 18 day countdown is the better option and with the end ever closer she may not become more 'upset and angry'. Calling in sick is certainly a bad idea regarding future employment .

HesterShaw Sat 25-Jan-14 15:33:08

Your post reads like you think people who are signed off with stress are losers. I'm sure you didn't mean it like that.

KristinaM Sat 25-Jan-14 15:41:33

Yes I walked out a job once. But it wasn't a professional position, I'd only been there a few weeks and I was quite young ( it was in childcare ). The other staff and manager were horrible although the work was ok. I got very stressed by their nastiness and ended up having a severe asthma attack at work and was taken off to hospital in an ambulance, blue lights flashing.

No one from work came with me and they never phoned to find out how I was. I mean ever. For all they know I could have died.

Once I was discharged I never went back.

I'd like to be able to tell you that I learned from this experience , but I didn't. In my 30s I stayed in a professional job which I LOATHED for years after I should have left. It seriously affected my mental and physical health . I didn't realise how bad it was until I left. I was so stupid blush

ThatVikRinA22 Sat 25-Jan-14 17:50:21

hester i thought that too.

it was a losers way out for me - i was seriously depressed and a nervous wreck. My job is dangerous, thankless and hard.
it took a good 5 months of counselling and medication to enable me to walk back in.
and walk back in i did and have been fine since.
i dont consider myself a loser - i battled on for 6 months after my GP tried to sign me off initially - battled on until i literally dropped, physically ill, mentally unwell and unable to get out of bed.
im sorry if thats anyones definition of loser. i work as a police officer and i had to admit that i was suffering depression and anxiety and THEN go back.
The number of officers who contacted me via a police forum saying how brave i was to admit what i was signed off with was shocking.

ThatVikRinA22 Sat 25-Jan-14 17:51:03

*wasnt a losers way out for me.

ffs. i need to proof read.

winklewoman Sat 25-Jan-14 18:09:33

Vicar , to be stressed is not necessarily to be a 'loser' , the way an individual deals with the stressful situation is what defines that description. You did not roll ever and take the easy way out, you did not give up, you came back and and hats off to you for your courage. Sadly the advice to 'go off sick ' is often dished out as an easy solution regardless of the chaos and indeed stress it might cause to everyone else. Not every 'stressed' teacher is stressed because they have a wicked HT, a crap school and difficult pupils, some are just no good at the job. This is by no means aimed at the OP by the way.

Lj8893 Sat 25-Jan-14 18:14:57

Yes. But I was 18 and it was a bar job so wasent ever going to be detrimental to a career.

We got a new landlord in and before I'd even got a chance to introduce myself he told me he was going to have to cut my hours, I explained that I didn't drive and half of my wages go on transport to and from work so wouldn't be beneficial for me to work part time, he didn't care.

In my break (I was on a split shift) I went to another pub up the road who said they had a full time position if I could start that night. I accepted and just never showed up for my shift at the original pub. A part time member who was meant to be working with me that evening also got a job at the new pub and started that evening........along with all the regular customers. grin good job they had no customers really, as they had no staff!

ICantFindAFreeNickName Wed 29-Jan-14 23:43:39

I think the 18 day countdown is the way to go. Once you have a leaving date, you might find it relieves some of the stress anyway.
When you do resign, ask if they will let you go early, they may not agree to it, but it's worth a try.
If you need the money, could you then do a little bit of supply work until you figure out what you want to do. That way you can get experience of working in a few different schools and can be 'busy' if a school you don't like calls you.

winklewoman Thu 30-Jan-14 12:30:44

The 18 day count down must have counted down to 16 by now, hang on in there!

ICantFindAFreeNickName Thu 30-Jan-14 22:28:09

We could all do a daily countdown on Mumsnet & give you lots of encouragement.

MrsJoeDolan Fri 31-Jan-14 11:43:23

15 days and counting!

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