Mumsnet Talk

When is it ok for a teacher to tell a child to bugger off?

Sits back and opens packet of bickers sips coffee and waits for the fun to start.

um

When the child in question is THEIR child and they are sayi g in mock horror.."look just bugger off love. We'll discuss it later".

Can't think that there is any other reason, nor can I imagine a teacher actually saying this.

It's not OK, obviously. What was the situation?

OK, I'll bite... It is OK for a teacher to do that if there is a solidly good relationship there and all involved know it is light-hearted banter. I have told kids to bugger off before now. Also to get lost. Would only say it to certain kids though.

Need more details just because I'm curious.
Because the answer is, of course, never and in no circumstances.
Check your discipline and behaviour policy, I'm pretty certain that it won't be an option. You can think it, mind, as often and as loudly as you like.

<lurks in the staff room although not a teacher, just nosey>

Not sure about the use of "bugger" even as banter, but "get lost", of course!

#et lost is ok if said in a jokey manner. Buggar off is offensive language and I would be horrified if a teacher said it to my or any other child. i would never say it to anybody and certainly not a child.

Probably a primary/secondary split here.

I'm presuming senior school? Not P3.

Still on dodgy ground, but if staff and pupil had a bit of banter going, then perhaps ok.

More details needed.

I might say this to my own children, in a light-hearted sort of way. Not to anybody else's.

When they need to take their bag off sorry op, but I couldnt resist.

At a secondary school, to a 12 year old boy when the teacher was annoyed with him. The child cried for a long time afterwards.

No problem Body, have fun

So there's your answer. The child was distressed. The teacher was at fault.
What on earth had the child done?

I'm not surprised he cried. Not nice at all.

Absolutely not under those circumstances and with a child that young. Would never say something like that in annoyance anyway, only in banter.

Was not running fast enough!

<sigh>
Not from a PE teacher by any chance?

EXACTLY

No. Of course it's not appropriate.

Although I can see myself saying it in banter, in an 'informal' setting (on a residential, in a boarding house, during a Sunday rehearsal) perhaps to a member of the U6 who I knew extremely well (ie, had been in Loco-Parentis during his school career since he was 13). And even then- Maybe. Not definitely.

Why oh why do PE teachers think that some children are underperforming when in fact they are not very talented at PE?

Only in their head.Unacceptable to say out loud.

Dunno why, but with my Aspie DS, the PE teachers were the last hold outs and the slowest learners when it came to reasonable accommodation.

My friend has her ds at the same school and she is very worried about it. I am glad I haven't put my ds at that school.

I just wanted to know from the teachers out there how frequent is it?

Totally unacceptable. I'd be up at the school for that.

It isn't frequent. Not in primary or secondary.

No, not frequent. Not at all.

It did happen at a highly regarded school in front of other teachers!
How come that the teacher felt comfortable to say and behave so without any shame?

So, the child was running as part of an organised activity and then the situation developed to the point where a teacher told them to bugger off.
Would you like to fill in the gaps please?

He told the boy to bugger of to the lower set as he was not coping in the set where he was at. Otherwise it is exactly as you have gathered.

It's disgusting behaviour. I would be making a proper complaint.

it's supposed to be off not of. Sorry I am having a problem with this expression

I'd cry if someone told me to bugger off to a lower set because I wasn't coping, too.

The context it was used in seems particularly harsh.

I don't think she could make a complaint as it wasn't her ds.

Private or state? Gobsmacked if it happened in a state school in front of others. Very very unusual. Sure teacher wasn't massively provokes and just lost it?( though still totally unacceptable).

Her ds is in the Rugby team , she is worried even to talk about because she is concerned the PE teachers would hold it against her ds and kick him out of the team.
The school is not very sporty as they do select according to academic potential only. It is puzzling why they expect them to be sportsmen

state

My guess would be private.

cross-post
Then there will be a discipline policy to refer to, and there will be a complaints procedure to use.

Definitely state

Of course she can complain if her child witnessed the incident.

She should tell the boy's parents as well.

Is it a grammar school?

He was comfortable in acting this way in front of his colleagues so I guess it’s a common practice at the school.

I wouldn't be a teacher for all the money in the world, but if I was, all the kids would be told to bugger off. You have heard this through the child of a friend of a friend or some such chinese whispers scenario, things may not be as they seem to you. But if they were, I really think a 12 year old should not be so upset by 'bugger off' that they cry. Surely that hrase is not that upsettingly offensive? Most 12 year olds are using swearier language than that themselves, let alone hearing it. (Not saying it was a great teaching decision or anything, just that the whole scenario wouldn't concern me).

yes Greensleeves.
I am not sure re the rules on Mumsnet how much I could say

Thanks Mike, I am glad the world is not full of people like you. or is it?

In that context it sounds like the child is upset by being told he's not good enough for that PE set, not that he's upset by the language used. Not appropriate language though from a teacher and if I was observing that lesson I would report it to senior management.

Thank you Panda, that is exactly what I think but obviously the teachers haven’t being doing so. I have just spoken to my friend and she said that it is very frequent at the school.

Private or state? Gobsmacked if it happened in a state school in front of others. Very very unusual. Sure teacher wasn't massively provokes and just lost it?( though still totally unacceptable).

From my experience of both sectors I would not expect it to occur in this context in either. What a strange question, seems unnecessarily loaded to me.

Felicity do you mean you wouldn't be surprised if it happened in a private school? If so, why?

No absolutely not. I mean it is extraordinarily odd to assume that this would happen in the independent and not state sector.

It should not, and does not routinely happen in either.

Not loaded, just have lots of experience of state schools where it would be unheard if to say something like that, and none of private secondaries, so wondered if it might be a different type of school with a more casual feel, or a much harsher one, depending on tone.

At a secondary school, to a 12 year old boy when the teacher was annoyed with him. The child cried for a long time afterwards.

Seriously?

Bloody hell, I hope the kid wasn't in Yorkshire.

i think its unacceptable.
BUT the kid need to man up. In a rugby team? sheesh

agree wouldnt be surprised in private school - teaching there a lot more lax outof date

In the state sector, I think only few make it the Rugby team, football team and so on. He is not in any team. He was struggling to keep up with the rest in a PE session. It is a selective school where they are more likely to be mathematicians than Rugby players.

agree wouldnt be surprised in private school - teaching there a lot more lax outof date

The ignorance prejudice of some people never ceases to amaze me

I know!

It's astonishing really how those lazy private school fuckers get away with it, all their kids fail exams and don't get into university .....oh no, wait.

I think the poster is confusing out of date with not following every new faddy govt. iniative.

End result of this independence is education being organised, planned and delivered by education professionals and not MPs. Extraordinary really!

Thank you very much for all your posts and I am glad that most of you don't view it as normal behaviour.
To all the teachers out there: PLEASE REPORT IT IF YOU SEE IT