My feed
Premium
Please
or
to access all these features

Whether you're a permanent teacher, supply teacher or student teacher, you'll find others in the same situation on our Staffroom forum.

The staffroom

Having problems with sons school,yet I work there....

19 replies

wonderstuff100 · 02/12/2016 18:41

Long story,basically I do 1 day a week casual cover at my son's school,it was my training school years ago before he started and I've done casual cover one day a week for the past three years

Everythings been great and fine,until this year. He's moved up to year 3 and I was getting reports of disruption and rudeness. He's just been diagnosed as dyspraxic this week and I've spoken to the teacher about strategies to implement in the class to help him. The OT who assessed said his behaviour in the class was down to him not being sure what to do and confused as opposed to him acting out for the sake of it. Anyway,his teacher is new this year and she is secondary trained,I presume shes done a conversion course. I haven't been greatly happy with her when I've met up with her to talk about strategies on how to help my son but they finally seem to be happening now,so we'll see how things go.

I am concerned about another TA though.I've worked with her myself and found her very strict with the kids. And im a teacher myself and think I'm strict! Today my DS told me he now has to miss break for being rude to another kid. Fair enough. But he's swearing to me that this kid said things first but he's not getting into trouble. Doesn't seem fair or that she's even looked into the situation properly.

Now I know that I sound like a precious parent. But my son is finding things really hard at the moment and controlling his emotions is another thing the OT said he has problems with. And he said he cried today when this TA took him outside of the class to reprimand him.

Im just getting very frustrated at this situation. I feel like its one thing after another at the moment. First the teacher being uncooperative now this TA. And I feel in a really uncomfortable position. If I had no ties to the school,I'd prob just leave it and if I continued to be unhappy,go and talk to the head. But working there makes me feel very conflicted. I am only due to work there until Easter and I'm seriously considering not renewing my contract after that. Or if things happen again,I may just go to the head and explain I'm finding things a real struggle as am not feeling happy as a parent.

It's so frustrating this is happening after 3 years. The school expanded from infant to primary over the past few years and I think this is causing some problems the head is not used to. I've worked in education long enough to recognise a person who likes intimidating others in their job role and I seriously think this TA is one.

Any advice for me? As I said,I know I may come across precious and my son knows what teacher says goes. But in these two instances I don't feel the teacher has supported him and has pigeonholed him and that this TA hasn't been fair.

OP posts:
Report
wonderstuff100 · 02/12/2016 18:44

Just for the record,I think the rest of the teachers and TA's are great. And it's not because they're my friends as I keep myself to myself at work.

OP posts:
Report
TheEmojiFormerlyKnownAsPrince · 02/12/2016 18:50

I works at a school when my ds was there. It's a very fine line.....but, if he had problems at school, l would say what l had to say, and qualify it by saying l am wearing my mum head and not my member of staff head. I would also say it was difficult for me to gave the conversations, but it needed doing. Most people were ok with that.

Report
wonderstuff100 · 02/12/2016 18:52

Did you ever have a situation like this?

OP posts:
Report
SaltyMyDear · 02/12/2016 22:37

I think it's VERY hard to work at your child's school if your child has SEN.

I don't think it is possibly to advocate for your son if you work there. And if your son has SEN you have to advocate for them.

Report
wonderstuff100 · 03/12/2016 07:45

It would appear that way,yes. Seems if things are fine,then it's ok. The minute things start going wrong,that's when the situation becomes difficult

OP posts:
Report
Imfinehowareyou · 03/12/2016 07:50

I would go and see the head. You don't have to say that you think the TA is awful, just ask for proper systems to be in place for your son's needs. Does he have an IEP or similar plan?

Report
cansu · 03/12/2016 08:01

Tbh you are being a bit precious. Your son was told off for being rude to another child. This happens about a 100 times a week in most svhools. Kids are told off and everyone moves on. Parents are not usually informed unless it is a regular persistent issue. You wouldn't know about it normally and you wouldn't be analysing it based on whether you like or respect this member of staff unless you worked there. You are also possibly in danger of interpreting everything your ds does as being due to his sen. I have a dd with v severe sen but she still gets told off for dumping her stuff when she gets in and for trying to hit or bite me when frustrated. Obviously I help her as much as possible but it isnt a complete pass to no consequences. You are of course right to advocate for your ds but save your thunder for the big issues. You cannot and should not be gettkng involved in judging every single minor issue he has.

Report
wonderstuff100 · 03/12/2016 08:06

I get that it could be seen as precious,it's more that it seems unfair he's being punished and the other kid isn't. I don't have a problem with him being sanctioned for being rude. But I do take issue that the other child isn't being sanctioned.
And yes,I do believe my opinion may be coloured by my previous encounters with the TA,hence why I'm trying to take a step back to look at this.

OP posts:
Report
wonderstuff100 · 03/12/2016 08:07

Oh and I don't put his reaction to the other child down to his dyspraxia,that's due to him being a 7 year old! So I'm not saying he did that because he's SEN

OP posts:
Report
wonderstuff100 · 03/12/2016 08:09

No IEP as he's only just been diagnosed.

OP posts:
Report
cansu · 03/12/2016 08:10

I know its difficult but how many timrs do kids say oh but he said to me first or he kicked me as well? Then if you do dig further it was last Tuesday or they cant remember. You really need to let it go. Also if your child senses you taking an unusual level of interest in his spats he will bring all these issues to you expecting you to take his side. You may need to in serious problems but as a teacher you should know this is not a good idea on an everyday basis.

Report
cansu · 03/12/2016 08:12

Focus on the big issue what help does he need gor his dyspraxia. Leave the rest of the everyday stuff alone or you will drive yourself mad and will unfortunately become That Parent.

Report
wonderstuff100 · 03/12/2016 08:13

Ok guys,thanks for your advice. Much appreciated

OP posts:
Report
Glittermakeseverythingbetter · 03/12/2016 08:26

I can't see any reason for you to stop working there at all! I think what has happened is a very minor issue so far and you shouldn't interfere.
I work in a school. I don't want to give any identifying scenarios, but basically my daughter comes to me with teacher issues, (so do her friends!!), and says "can you have a word?!" Even if it's a 'he's told me off and I wasn't involved' type scenario, I say no, if you feel he was wrong, you talk to him.
There was a more serious incident last year, which I felt I needed to complain about, and the teacher was spoken to about it in a serious meeting, but I still carried on working there and just avoided that person as much as I could in the corridors! I wouldn't interfere with day to day niggles though.

Report
wonderstuff100 · 03/12/2016 08:32

Yeah,I get that,it isn't a bit deal.It just seems at the moment that day to say niggles are bigger than they used to be. We've never encountered these problems before.

OP posts:
Report
KittyVonCatsington · 03/12/2016 08:36

Why have you posted this in two places, OP, with slightly different opening posts? Are you hoping for two different sets of answers?

Report
wonderstuff100 · 03/12/2016 08:40

No,I was actually hoping for different sets of perspectives. But you go ahead and make that judgement on someone you don't know if it makes you feel better about yourself!

OP posts:
Report
wonderstuff100 · 03/12/2016 08:41

Oh and one was posted last night and one was posted this morning. Didn't realise I had to copy and past exactly the same post! I frequently post in 2 different threads,sometimes about finance,housing,loads of different stuff

OP posts:
Report
SaltyMyDear · 03/12/2016 10:04

Do you have a partner who could raise issues instead of you?

I'm not sure if this issue is serious enough to raise or not - but if your DS has dyspraxia there will be 100 more incidents like this. And you or your partner do have to advocate for your child and raise some of them with school.

Odds are things will get worse for a few years, not better.

Alternatively, would it make sense for your DS to move to a more inclusive school, which you have no involvement with?

Report
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.