Funniest things kids have said in class

(108 Posts)
tryingtojokearound Fri 04-Dec-15 20:25:21

Just though nice idea to cheer people up on a friday evening!

bumbleclat Fri 04-Dec-15 22:13:50

Last week we were doing the 'sh' sound in phonics and I got the higher ability reception children to make up their own blends when one very cute and well behaved girl just said (in all innocence) "shit" it was gorgeous smile

Hillfog Fri 04-Dec-15 22:19:58

Gold, Frankenstein and Myrtle were apparently the 3 gifts given.

SuffolkNWhat Fri 04-Dec-15 22:24:31

Was the last one moaning? wink

knittedslippersx2 Fri 04-Dec-15 22:47:05

We were doing the 'er' sound. One child says myrhh. The teacher explained why we couldn't use that word and has anybody got a word that we use everyday. The next answer was sperm. I lost control and had to leave the room like a giggly child.

cece Fri 04-Dec-15 22:50:42

Sex ed with Year 5.

Boy puts hand up and says "my dad says lesbians can have an operation called a stickadickonme"

How I kept a straight face I'll never know.

LollipopViolet Fri 04-Dec-15 22:55:11

I got asked, on my first day as a volunteer/student TA if Mrs X was my mum, by a lovely Y1 child.

Also, in a previous early years placement, got asked "X... Why are you here?" complete with dramatic pause!

PurpleAlerts Sat 05-Dec-15 00:17:17

I had a little year 3 girl once tell me very seriously that the reason why the Romans hadn't invaded Scotland was because they were afraid of the pixies! (I think she meant Picts grin)

readyforno2 Sat 05-Dec-15 07:24:14

I work in a preschool and a group of the boys were calling me "stinky bum"
I sat them all down and explained that I understood that they were joking but some people might not and they might get upset. At this point one of them, with a completely straight face said "I'm not joking" cue sniggering from other staff members while I had to carry on about how we don't call people names.

BrianButterfield Sat 05-Dec-15 07:29:34

My class were writing detective stories and one of them asked how you spell "psychic". I told her without really thinking about it. I was surprised later to read about Sherlock Holmes and his psychic, Watson....

miaowroar Sat 05-Dec-15 10:31:41

Explaining about pregnancy with some very "young" Year 9s.

"When the Mum eats food, the baby is fed via the umbilical cord"

Puzzled looks confused

"Well ... say the mother has a cheese sandwich, the next day, that's what the baby has"

Anxious boy with hand up "But ... but - what if he doesn't like cheese sandwiches?"

TA had to leave the room - I felt like following her but she was nearest the door.

toomuchicecream Sat 05-Dec-15 11:49:51

Apparently when DS was in Reception and they were doing the sh sound he put up his hand and said he knew a word that begins with sh. Daddy says it in the car, but it's a very rude word so I'm not going to tell you what it is.

My year 1 class have spontaneously taken to inserting adjectives before my name when answering the register. So it goes something like this: Yes Gorgeous Mrs Ice Cream. Yes Mrs Beautiful Ice cream. Yes Gorgeous Lovely Mrs Ice cream. I drew a line when they started saying Yes Clean Mrs Ice cream....

FithColumnist Sat 05-Dec-15 17:04:19

Y8, talking about the internet, asking what their favourite thing was on the internet. One boy says with a totally sincere expression that his favourite thing on the internet is cock. I corpsed.

Apparently he was referring to Clash Of Clans.

breward Sat 05-Dec-15 17:15:21

As a 19 year old student on my first teaching practice, I was leading a show and share session with Y1.

A little girls stood up and proudly announced to the class, "My mum is having her coil out today!"

I was mortified and still remember saying, "Thank you X, that's lovely news!"

25 years on, I think of that session every time a little girl wants to make an announcement to the class.

elephantoverthehill Sat 05-Dec-15 17:23:16

I was H&S in Food Tech with a group of year 7s. I asked 'Why do we carry knives pointing down?' I was answered by a completely innocent 'So we only stab short people?'

elephantoverthehill Sat 05-Dec-15 17:23:48

I was doing*

Momtothree Sat 05-Dec-15 17:29:36

Y1 discussing nice things to say `you can play` etc ... then the mean stuff not to say ..Y1 boy . `dont tell ya mates to fuck off`

Debbriana1 Sat 05-Dec-15 17:58:14

My little sister who is more than Half my age once told the class and her teacher that centipedes had testicles and used it for feeling objects. The teacher got really Cross with her. She could not understand why.

So there was a day I was helping her with her home work and we started to talk about insects and their tentacles. She then asked me what testicles were. I explained it. She then replied by saying that she now understands why miss W was not happy with her for having bad manners. Never to repeat such things in the class room again.

I thought with something like that the teacher would correct and explain why it's wrong. She must have been in year 4 or 5

bikingintherain Sat 05-Dec-15 18:25:52

Well not a child but a GTP student.... She was asked how chickens had babies by a very innocent Y7 class. Her response started 'well first you have a big chicken and then you need a big cock....' There was not a dry eye in the house from any of the all of the staff room at break as the story was recounted.

Minispringroll Sat 05-Dec-15 20:26:34

Sex ed session with Year 7. HoY talking to all of them in assembly, it's been going on for ages and the rest of the staff are close to dozing off...until we hear the surprising words, "Well, you could practise with fruit, couldn't you?" hmm confused grin Cue several teachers looking at each other, wondering what we had missed before that sentence.

My class were writing their own myths and one child wanted to include a Minotaur. He read out one of the sentences and I had to ask him to repeat it, followed by the question, "Excuse me? You called the Minotaur what exactly?" The innocent response was, "Horny. That's his name. 'Cause he's got horns, Miss." grin The remaining boys at his table could hardly contain themselves, while the child just looked confused. Bless. grin

DullUserName Sat 05-Dec-15 23:36:28

Year 3 big write... the sporting hero of the story found himself in the middle of "a humungous rugby bitch"

MurlockedInTheCellarHelpUs Sat 05-Dec-15 23:47:07

Teaching Y4 about Rama and Sita as part of Diwali in RE.

Me: "So, what lessons could we learn from this story that we can use in our lives today?" (Expecting an answer such as to be brave, courageous, never give up etc.)

Pupil, enthusiastically waving arm in the air: "Miss, that you should NEVER trust old people, they're up to no good!"

grin Audible snort of laughter from my TA.

ScottishGlen Sun 06-Dec-15 00:18:01

Year 7 English lesson.
Teacher: Does anyone know any plays by Shakespeare?
Very keen pupil: A Midsummer Night's Murder.
I was a T A in the lesson and ashamed to say that the teacher and I couldn't hold it together.

bumbleclat Sun 06-Dec-15 10:58:02

I have been laughing so hard at these!! Thank you for starting this.
I swear that the only thing that gets me through each day is the absolute comedy gold the children come up with every hour!
There's a lovely saying; if you want to make people like you, flatter them, if you want to make people love you make them laugh. This is why I love all of the children in my class!
Two year 5 children, were summoned to the staff room where I was planning with the HT because a teacher had noticed vicious love bites on their arms, when she asked them how they'd got there, they said (with serious faces) "we were trying to suck the fat out." It was so funny I had to keep a straight face but when they left the room I was crying with laughter. How the HT kept a straight face I'll never know! smile

scrivette Sun 06-Dec-15 11:12:07

These are brilliant.

Apparently last year in nursery my 3 year old was singing 'when Santa got stuck down the chimney'' and instead of 'soot' on the sack he was singing 'shit in my sack'!

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