Question for teachers/TAs re DC damaging staff clothing

[IsItMeOr]

I hope nobody minds me posting here as a parent?

6yo/Y1 DS has ASD, and usually has a full time 1:1 in a mainstream school. She was poorly for 3 days this week, so other staff were filling in. Unfortunately, during a frustrated rage DS tore the skirt of the TA from another Y1 class who was with him one afternoon.

His class teacher told me at the end of the day, and said that she thought it was accidental.

She didn't say anything about us compensating the TA, although obviously she is now down a skirt. I'm not sure what would be expected - please can any of you advise?

[noblegiraffe]

I would offer to pay. Whether it's expected or not, and whether she refuses or not, if my child ruined someone's stuff, I would offer to pay for it.

[LooksLikeImStuckHere]

I would say it's just something you accept about working in a school. Things get damaged and that's why I never wear especially expensive or well loved items.

I really wouldn't worry about compensating her for the skirt, maybe an apology note (from DS if he is able to) or if you are feeling really bad, a small plant or something.

I would not expect to be compensated, it was an accident.

[rollonthesummer]

I wouldn't expect to be compensated but an apology note and/or a box of chocolates would be a nice touch.

[utahforever]

Hi,

I'm a 1-1 and I wouldn't really worry......these things happen. It's a lovely thought that you care, but you don't need to. Maybe a card if you feel really bad, but it's not necessary to compensate.

I generally wear 'functional' clothes to work as I love to get hands on and messy with my kids, and I don't want to be worrying about ruining anything

[fairgame]

I work in a school with some children with challenging behaviour. I wouldn't expect to be compensated, it goes with the job.
My DS has ASD and very challenging behavour. He has broken a whole list of school equipment over the years both in mainstream and special school and although i have offered to pay for it the schools have never wanted me to. The only thing i have ever replaced was another childs water bottle that he broke.

[IsItMeOr]

Thanks everybody.

So it sounds like offering to pay would be the thing to do and take it from there.

fairgame Thanks. Yes, school were pretty explicit when DS broke something belonging to another child, so I was a bit confused that they didn't just tell me what to do this time - although, perhaps by not saying anything was expected, they did iyswim.

[Discounted]

A number of staff at my school have/would claim from the school but no-one would expect the parent to pay.

[CharlesRyder]

I had tops ripped with teeth, glasses crushed (before I switched to contacts for this reason) and lost god knows how many boingy lanyards- I would NEVER expect parents to pay for replacement.

[yearofthegoat]

Charles glasses crushed? What sort of school did you work in? I hope school replaced the glasses.

[CharlesRyder]

That was in the 'severe and complex needs' unit within an EBD school. Happened twice- hence the switch to contacts. My own fault for walking into that situation with glasses on (twice- doh) so no, I wouldn't expect the school to replace them.

[Notonaschoolnight]

Yeh I'm a TA too and wouldn't expect a replacement for all the job has evolved were still the ones getting out the paints etc and our clothes get wrecked all the time

[IsItMeOr]

Thanks again, that's very helpful (and reassuring). It's still new territory for us, so it helps to have your experienced perspectives.

[HagOtheNorth]

I wouldn't expect a parent to pay, but an apology is always lovely. If there was no intent behind the damage, that's just what happens sometimes. Accidental.
Do you feel that the school had done their best to meet the needs of your child in the circumstances? Or that the school neeeds to think about how to manage meeting his needs differently next time he's without his 1:1?

[blueemerald]

I teach in an EBD school and generally speaking the school will compensate staff (esp TAs who get paid buttons for an incredibly skillful job). The only exception is when a student calmly and deliberately destroys something belonging to staff. The the school gets the money from the parents, this happens very rarely though.