My DD is a flyer. Always hand up, always heard, always that child that gets remembered by the teacher.
My DS is a quiet, shy boy, as intelligent, but nervous, lacking confidence and with messy handwriting. He behaves well and has consistently been forgotten. We moved schools this September and I am worried it might happen again. In Yrs R-2 he never once got an award or a sticker in his old school. He sat quietly in the background and just plodded along. That lovely middle boy who hits the targets so gets left. He is top middle, top core. In his Yr 2 SATS he got 2a maths, 2a Lit, 3 science. All by being left to his own devices. The reports I got were just the sentences from the package, the teacher perhaps unaware that I use the same package for my reports and so was blindingly aware that they haven't bothered to even change a word. 2 years running.
We moved schools. Smaller so his stats will count more. But i'm worried the same thing is happening. He's a "background kid", and let's be honest, there are some. It even happens to him in sport pursuits. he is as skilled but he doesn't push forward. Never gets picked. When I speak to teachers they are all "Oh, he's lovely" but I see with my teacher vision it's because he is ok on SIMs and never causes trouble!
What can i do? I see him doomed to a life of middle of the road. I know with my core groups I stratify them so the 3a/ 4c or 4c/ 4b are pushed and will move on. I make sure they get a fair amount of attention and I ensure the quiet kids get asked about their lives and rewarded for being that kid that is always great without being outstanding. I know next parents evening i'll be asking about it. But i've just stood tonight and watched him do a sports event where he did as well as the next kid, but the next kid got the praise.
Is he just "invisible"? One of those kids? i feel I need to nail it as he is starting to say things like "If I was naughty I would get to do this....." or "No-one notices me so why should I say something?" He's 7!
It's really made me think about the quiet core in my own classes, having him, but i'm at my wits end as to how to approach it at school and at home, hence my posting here. I don't want him to be "lost" to education. And my saying that something is brilliant doesn't cut it anymore.
Sorry for the long post, but i've just seen him passed over at an event, and his face said it all. He doesn't expect anything anymore.
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My MOR child. Help!
7 replies
phlebasconsidered · 19/12/2014 19:29
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