Anyone ever walked out of a job....literally walked out?

(131 Posts)
nocontactforevermore Thu 23-Jan-14 14:38:33

I posted a thread on AIBU a few weeks ago and fb eh suggested asking on here as well. I have been in a temp post 6 weeks approx. Its part time, an academy and basically awful. In the briefest terms, the dept is a mess, kids are wild, and have embarked on an almost predicable witch hunt against me because they are disillusioned, fed up etc. The kids seem to rule the school, calling me foul names etc. Line manager tries to support, takes naughtiest out etc, but it's truly awful. No books, little ICT equipment, kids wee even studying wrong exam board. It's dreadful.

I want out. Union just said 'check their terms and conditions to see when you can leave/read the behaviour policy etc. useless.

Trouble is, I don't even want to go back Monday. I feel ill already and I'm only part time. I literally cannot face it.
I've had an 11 year unbroken career before this and took this jib so I could be in a less stressful role. I was a middle manager before this with a successful track record. I'm an idiot.

MrsJoeDolan Fri 31-Jan-14 11:43:23

15 days and counting!

ICantFindAFreeNickName Thu 30-Jan-14 22:28:09

We could all do a daily countdown on Mumsnet & give you lots of encouragement.

winklewoman Thu 30-Jan-14 12:30:44

The 18 day count down must have counted down to 16 by now, hang on in there!

ICantFindAFreeNickName Wed 29-Jan-14 23:43:39

I think the 18 day countdown is the way to go. Once you have a leaving date, you might find it relieves some of the stress anyway.
When you do resign, ask if they will let you go early, they may not agree to it, but it's worth a try.
If you need the money, could you then do a little bit of supply work until you figure out what you want to do. That way you can get experience of working in a few different schools and can be 'busy' if a school you don't like calls you.

Lj8893 Sat 25-Jan-14 18:14:57

Yes. But I was 18 and it was a bar job so wasent ever going to be detrimental to a career.

We got a new landlord in and before I'd even got a chance to introduce myself he told me he was going to have to cut my hours, I explained that I didn't drive and half of my wages go on transport to and from work so wouldn't be beneficial for me to work part time, he didn't care.

In my break (I was on a split shift) I went to another pub up the road who said they had a full time position if I could start that night. I accepted and just never showed up for my shift at the original pub. A part time member who was meant to be working with me that evening also got a job at the new pub and started that evening........along with all the regular customers. grin good job they had no customers really, as they had no staff!

winklewoman Sat 25-Jan-14 18:09:33

Vicar , to be stressed is not necessarily to be a 'loser' , the way an individual deals with the stressful situation is what defines that description. You did not roll ever and take the easy way out, you did not give up, you came back and and hats off to you for your courage. Sadly the advice to 'go off sick ' is often dished out as an easy solution regardless of the chaos and indeed stress it might cause to everyone else. Not every 'stressed' teacher is stressed because they have a wicked HT, a crap school and difficult pupils, some are just no good at the job. This is by no means aimed at the OP by the way.

ThatVikRinA22 Sat 25-Jan-14 17:51:03

*wasnt a losers way out for me.

ffs. i need to proof read.

ThatVikRinA22 Sat 25-Jan-14 17:50:21

hester i thought that too.

it was a losers way out for me - i was seriously depressed and a nervous wreck. My job is dangerous, thankless and hard.
it took a good 5 months of counselling and medication to enable me to walk back in.
and walk back in i did and have been fine since.
i dont consider myself a loser - i battled on for 6 months after my GP tried to sign me off initially - battled on until i literally dropped, physically ill, mentally unwell and unable to get out of bed.
im sorry if thats anyones definition of loser. i work as a police officer and i had to admit that i was suffering depression and anxiety and THEN go back.
The number of officers who contacted me via a police forum saying how brave i was to admit what i was signed off with was shocking.

KristinaM Sat 25-Jan-14 15:41:33

Yes I walked out a job once. But it wasn't a professional position, I'd only been there a few weeks and I was quite young ( it was in childcare ). The other staff and manager were horrible although the work was ok. I got very stressed by their nastiness and ended up having a severe asthma attack at work and was taken off to hospital in an ambulance, blue lights flashing.

No one from work came with me and they never phoned to find out how I was. I mean ever. For all they know I could have died.

Once I was discharged I never went back.

I'd like to be able to tell you that I learned from this experience , but I didn't. In my 30s I stayed in a professional job which I LOATHED for years after I should have left. It seriously affected my mental and physical health . I didn't realise how bad it was until I left. I was so stupid blush

HesterShaw Sat 25-Jan-14 15:33:08

Your post reads like you think people who are signed off with stress are losers. I'm sure you didn't mean it like that.

winklewoman Sat 25-Jan-14 15:00:54

Yes, NFK, I agree with your suggestion on the line to take. But if they won't wear it, the 18 day countdown is the better option and with the end ever closer she may not become more 'upset and angry'. Calling in sick is certainly a bad idea regarding future employment .

nkf Sat 25-Jan-14 14:52:21

I know. But it's not working out and they will have to find someone new anyway or get in long term supply. She's barely been there. She might not be allowed to leave, but she might. It's worth asking. I just think getting upset and not doing the only thing that will get you out of this is a mistake. She's not coping. Now she's having to defend herself from accusations. This is the time to cut your losses in the quickest, most civilised way possible way.

I would say the line to take is, "This isn't working out. I intend to leave as soon as my contract allows and I would like to go sooner. Please can we make this happen." Over and over again.

As for the reference business, what sort of reference is she going to get if she hangs around becoming more and more upset and angry. Or calls in sick. They will know she isn't sick. It's time for honesty temperd with politeness.

winklewoman Sat 25-Jan-14 14:46:27

NFK, but even if she resigns immediately, it can only be effective from 1 April according to teachers' terms and cs. However if she does resign now with that date in mind, she might well be able to negotiate early release as you suggest, but not guaranteed.

nkf Sat 25-Jan-14 14:33:59

No, of course it doesn't sound okay. That's why, in my opinion, she should look at the option of resigning immediately. Why stay? She doesn't need the job. She's only been there a few weeks. The school sounds like shit. I bet the stress would lift as soon as she resigned. If she negotiated properly, they'd probably let her go by the end of the week.

winklewoman Sat 25-Jan-14 14:31:15

Hester, it not a good situation for the OP but presumably other staff are coping. I agree with NFK, getting signed off is often the loser's easy way out. The Op seems to have the sense to hang on to the end of term in her own interests let alone that of the kids. She is being positive about a bad set-up and she should be given support to continue until the end of term.

HesterShaw Sat 25-Jan-14 14:19:34

But she is shaking and crying about the mere idea of going in on Monday. Does that sound ok to you?

nkf Sat 25-Jan-14 13:40:00

I really really disapprove of this getting signed off business. All she has to do is resign and wait a few weeks. She's not sick. She's in a badly run school and she has the option of resigning.

Twinkle186 Sat 25-Jan-14 11:57:06

nocontact a pupil at my school called a member of staff a cunt this week - he was excluded for three days and there were still plenty of people who said that this was not severe enough!

If your school lets pupils treat staff in this way then they are not worth your time, let alone your sanity. You certainly shouldn't feel guilty about leaving. I agree with the posters who suggest you get to the gp asap

colander Sat 25-Jan-14 11:03:57

Please be aware that you will not be able to hide this period of employment for safe guarding reasons. Also, all future employers will need a reference from your most recent head - ie this one.

As a teacher, I sympathise with you. This is happening all too frequently in our schools and is being brushed under the carpet. You sound such a caring teacher, wanting to do well for these children. In your position I would stop shouting at them, why waste your time and energy, and get yourself signed off. I too would want to avoid this at all costs and can understand your reluctance, but the school has put you in a position where if you want to leave ths may be your only option if you want to stay in teaching.

Good luck

nocontactforevermore Fri 24-Jan-14 21:11:28

Aww thanks you guys. I appreciate the help. Will update as soon as I can

Phineyj Fri 24-Jan-14 20:50:53

I agree with winkle and make a chart - when you are working out notice somewhere you hate, crossing days off in thick black pen is v. satisfying.

winklewoman Fri 24-Jan-14 16:31:02

Whatever job you apply for next, you would do better to resign w/e 30 April as you are perfectly entitled to do, and cite any reason you choose if anyone asks, rather than have 'gone off with stress' on your record - enough to put anyone off giving you a job. Remeber, 18 days and counting down!

Ubik1 Fri 24-Jan-14 16:11:23

Just to cheer you up...

I did some casual work on the features desk at The Sun about 25 years ago, very young, and the woman in charge was abduteky fucking terrifying. She would pace about her office then suddenly throw the door open and start bollocking some poor minion. Me and the other casual freelance quaked through a morning and then grabbed put stuff and literally ran out the door at lunchtime never to return grin

Oh op, I really sympathise it's a horrid situation. If you held out til Easter you could just record it as a temporary position? Supply?

Echo the others - don't just run away, decide whether you need to go off with stress or hand in formal notice.

Nellymay Fri 24-Jan-14 16:02:16

You are in what seems to be a dysfunctional school - it will never be right, it will always be a toxic environment that is harmful to you.
I am a teacher now retired and I think that you need to get out for your own sake - life is too short to spend any more time there. Go off sick, email them and tell them you are reviewing your options and are taking advice from your union and your family.

I have been in similar situations and have managed to extricate myself - without too much pain. You're being worn down by this job and you're losing your sense of self and finding it hard to make decisions because of the stress it's causing you. Once you get out things will look much better.
Good luck

NigellasDealer Fri 24-Jan-14 15:17:46

yes i have and it was fantastic
it was a language school in london and a class of arrogant Swiss kids rolling their eyes at me
i just walked out and got the bus home grin

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