Dilemma re permission for absence

(34 Posts)
AlexTurnersmicropone Sat 02-Nov-13 07:59:21

I'm not a teacher, but I have a dilemma with regards to my 15 year old son (year 10). We booked to see his favourite band at a big arena this week, half term, for his birthday, excited for months, we get there, 10 mins before due to start it's cancelled due to sickness, our son was beyond gutted but took it in his stride, especially when they rescheduled almost straight away, but the rescheduled date is a school day/night, it would mean 2 days off school to travel, stay over and come home. He will be devastated if we don't go.

So, bearing mind his attendance rate is 100%, do I throw a sicky for him? or should I be honest upfront and ask his form teacher? and if they say no it will look really sus if we then throw a sicky? I realise this is pretty bad and I hate doing it, but what would you think?

How far away is it?

Morgause Sat 02-Nov-13 08:02:29

I'd be honest and pay the fine if it comes.

No way should he miss his favourite band.

Just take him. It's the stuff memories are made of. Ask school and if they say no just take him anyway. If his attendance is 100% it won't put him with a low enough attendance to trigger any worries from anyone.

Can you send him to school on the day of the concert and collect him early. So he has at least got his mark for the day. And insist to everybody that no mater how tired he will be the following day he will be attending.
And then of course realise the following morning He must be coming down with something So you have to phone him in sick.

ILoveAFullFridge Sat 02-Nov-13 08:12:46

Personally, I'd be honest about it. Not a good idea to teach dishonesty, and it's a perfectly reasonable situation. (To normal mortals, that is. It seems that TPTB do not have normal thought processes when it comes to allowing days off school.)

I'm going to be in a similar position, in that a relative has promised and arranged a trip abroad with my Y8 ds. It's been planned for months, was Thursday pm to Sunday pm. Originally planned for this weekend, then a major opportunity came up for ds, so moved it to Xmas holidays. Now relatives work is sending them abroad to a totally inappropriate country for ds to visit (war zone) and the only time they can take ds us next weekend.

I fully expect the school to refuse permission, but I'm not going to deny ds the opportunity or the promised gift. I'm also not going to tell him to lie or deny him the chance to talk about the trip when he returns, for fear of bring caught out.

JeanSeberg Sat 02-Nov-13 08:16:32

How far away is it?

AlexTurnersmicropone Sat 02-Nov-13 08:32:06

We live in Suffolk, the event is in Birmingham, I thought about picking him up from school on the day and shooting off to Brum but it's a risky strategy if there are any traffic hold ups. I am erring on the side of honesty and upfrontness. Partly because although we asked son to be discreet about it, it's hard for him to be discreet about something he's looking forward to. What are the penalties if we ask, they say no, and we do it anyway? worse case scenario?

outtolunchagain Sat 02-Nov-13 08:38:32

We also live in suffolk, we have done Stratford upon Avon in a day, I take your point about going up on the day and risking the traffic,but you could certainly be back that night and in school the next day.The traffic is fine late at night , I think we were home by 2am.

I would expect a year 10 to be able to soldier through the next day.

My parents in their 70s regularly come down from the Midlands for the day ,could you take him out of school at lunchtime then he would just miss an afternoon.?

JeanSeberg Sat 02-Nov-13 09:03:09

So it's a ~3 hour drive. Why does that hewed two days off school?

BOF Sat 02-Nov-13 09:15:29

Just lie and tell him to keep his gob shut, like a normal person, sheesh grin

JeanSeberg Sat 02-Nov-13 11:05:36

hewed? need!

ILoveAFullFridge Sat 02-Nov-13 12:45:29

What time do you have to be there?

Definitely don't stay over.

I can't ask my ds to lie, BOF. It would totally mess with his head.

AlexTurnersmicropone Sat 02-Nov-13 13:50:56

Yeah could maybe go at lunchtime and just take the afternoon then, hadn't thought of that.

That's more like how I saw it. Send him on for registration and the first lesson or two. Collect him from the office at 10 or 12 and shoot off.

Family member was at same concert wink

AlexTurnersmicropone Sat 02-Nov-13 16:08:53

Thanks missnevermind yes that's the best idea. Is your family member going to the rescheduled?

Will speak to his form teacher on Monday.

5madthings Sat 02-Nov-13 16:13:56

Just pick him up early from school, just after lumch registration and then he can go the next day as he can sleep in car on way home?

But if necessary I would just takethe day off. I had a day or two off as a teen to go to Manchester to see take that, I was also year ten and it was a special treat.

I'm as anti taking time off school as it's possible to be

But I would take him in the afternoon and drive back late - and make sure he knew it was his responsibility to catch up the 2/3 lessons he missed

Abbierhodes Sat 02-Nov-13 16:26:10

Right, I'm a teacher. Take him. Keep him off. Tell the school he is ill. Sod being discreet about it!
Worst case scenario- he mentions it to his friends in front of a teacher. Now in my school, if I were that teacher, I probably wouldn't bat an eyelid (about a student with 100% attendance!)
Apart from anythng else, unless I were his form tutor, his attendance wouldn't be my business- that is to say, I wouldn't necessarily know he didn't have permission.
But lets say you're confronted with a jobsworth, and you get called in- just lie! There has been a mistake, he was ill, like you told them. They cannot, and will not try to prove otherwise.
It would only create an issue if you regularly kept him off for things lke this.
Just check it doesn't clash with an exam or controlled assessment- that would change my viewpoint somewhat!

BOF Sat 02-Nov-13 16:42:34

Common sense at last! grin

LordPalmerston Sat 02-Nov-13 16:43:34

Just go after school and come back after. Two days off school! I don't think so

LordPalmerston Sat 02-Nov-13 16:44:08

I don't think you need so long off. How far us brum? Two hours?

Kaygunner Sat 02-Nov-13 16:45:35

I would just take him tbh. Schools wouldn't give permissions for that.
I asked for permission for my daughter to have a day off for my mums wedding and got refused. So if they can refuse for something like that then I'm pretty sure a school would refuse to go to a gig

Catchhimatwhat Sat 02-Nov-13 17:28:36

I agree with BOF.

AlexTurnersmicropone Sat 02-Nov-13 18:36:46

About 3/4 hours with no hold ups from where we live.

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