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Teaching with a big family

31 replies

Stuckinarutagain · 06/09/2013 17:43

Hi there

I'm needing some advice from anyone in the same boat. It can't just be me!!

I have three children who it looks like will all be at different schools. I also have a pre-schooler and am about to have another baby. I know, crazy lady. So really my life is going to be all about babies and school runs. But I am so so desperate to go back to the classroom. I miss it so much. I am so wanting to do just a couple of days at least when baby is about six months old. But am I dreaming?? Is it possible with school runs and pre-schoolers??

I have worked so hard to achieve my dreams of becoming a teacher and feel really sad that I have to give it all up. Even though my children mean the absolute world to me I want to still stay in teaching.

If anyone is able to tell me about their success in juggling multiple school runs with pre-schoolers, please share. I would be so grateful!!

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Joycey29 · 06/09/2013 17:48

I went back three days a week with my third at 5 months due to finances. Ds was 2.2 and dd was 4.
All fine, but I had to be super organised! Made my life tough but loved being in school and keeping hand in.
Now, dd2 is nearly 4, we are all on one campus and I love it. Grin

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Stuckinarutagain · 06/09/2013 17:49

By the way, I expressed my frustration to my husband earlier about all the school runs and he made me feel worse by telling me this is my life now. Perhaps he's right and I am facing just three school runs and housey stuff for the next few years. But what about me??

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Stuckinarutagain · 06/09/2013 17:51

So how do you cope with child care? Thanks for the post!!

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RegainingUnconsciousness · 06/09/2013 17:54

What does your DH do? Can't he help with school runs?

Can you have a childminder/nanny do the school runs?

(I only have one toddler, so I've no real idea of having more than one child!)

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manyhands · 06/09/2013 18:02

Not quite the same but how about tutoring or day to day supply (less planning).

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Joycey29 · 06/09/2013 18:07

Ok
Monday ds in nursery, dd in school me in school and dp had dd2.
Tuesday dd in school me in school and I had dd2 and ds
Wednesday dd in school me in school and I had dd2 and ds
Thursday dd in school ds and dd in nursery.
Friday dd in school, ds in nursery and mil has dd
Grin

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Stuckinarutagain · 06/09/2013 18:09

Thanks for the replies. I have thought about tutoring but my heart is in the classroom. And yes, supply would be lovely but I still have the problems with all the school runs and the pre-schoolers. How does everyone do it? I'm missing something. I just feel like I'm losing me : ((. Think it's the pregnancy hormones that's making everything seem worse at the moment. My dh will probably be working long hours if not abroad soon.

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Stuckinarutagain · 06/09/2013 18:12

Thanks Joycey. So do you teach at the same school as your school?? You're an inspiration. Congratulations!!

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Joycey29 · 06/09/2013 18:17

I do teach on same campus but currently teach yr5 while dd is in yr3, ds in yr1 and dd2 in Pre-school.
Love being in school and having long holidays with them.
I'm never more than 6 weeks away from a holiday with my kids! Grin

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HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 06/09/2013 18:17

We just hired a new staff member at my school who is a lone parent and has 3DC, 2 in school and 1 in Nursery. She has to be here by 8.15 and finishes at 2.30. Her solution is a childminder - she drops the 3 DCs at the childminder's (luckily I believe they even live in the same block of flats) and the childminder drops them at nursery and at school. Mum picks them up.

I think it's partly luck in finding a solution! If my new colleague hadn't found this childminder she would be in a much tougher situation.

Good luck OP Flowers

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Bunbaker · 06/09/2013 18:18

How will you cope when one of your children is unwell and wants their mother?
I must admit the logistics of coping with lots of children was one of the factors that put me off having a large family (as well as my internal plumbing letting me down)

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ProphetOfDoom · 06/09/2013 18:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 06/09/2013 18:22

I think the tough part about teaching jobs is that during term-time there is so little flexibility about working hours in a given day.

I am not a teacher (so no contact time!) so the 3 days a week I take my own DC to school, I don't get to work until about 9.05 but it's no problem, even though the school day starts for everyone else at 8.15 (staff) and 8.40 (pupils). We are lucky to have our old cleaner around who picks up the DC (year 3 and year 5), gets them to their after school activities, makes them do their homework, even feeds them. She is really an after-school nanny now. I get home around 6 or 6.30. It has taken a while to get to the stage where everything is so lovely and settled and it actually feels quite easy now! DH also has the type of job where it is hard to rely on him for anything although he can usually manage to share a couple of morning school runs. We just can't count on it though.

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HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 06/09/2013 18:24

Of course I only have 2 DC so I'm not even qualified to talk about larger families!!! Blush

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Hogwash · 06/09/2013 18:25

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SilverApples · 06/09/2013 18:26

Sometimes you can't have everything you want, or you end up doing several things badly. It would be lovely if that wasn't the case, but usually you have to compromise.
How about doing some further education/specialising whilst your family grows up a bit? How long were you a full time classroom teacher before you stopped?
5 children is a lot to juggle and do a good/outstanding job for the children you will be teaching. You will find yourself very stretched to do your best for everyone involved, including yourself.

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Bunbaker · 06/09/2013 18:28

"You sound surprised though, which confuses me somewhat."

Yes, I thought that as well.

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RegainingUnconsciousness · 06/09/2013 18:30

What kind of teaching do you do?

I honestly think a nanny would be your best bet (MN has led me to believe nannies cost about the same as two nursery/cm places) who could drop off/collect the older DCs and look after the younger.

A nanny would also be flexible, which would be helpful if your DH is going to be away. If they're only going to look after your children, there might be more flexibility if the DC are ill (wild speculation now!).

DH and I both teach. He leaves early, I drop DS off at cm on foot and collect on foot later. When he's older, the cm will do the school run. We share the days off when he's ill. (This does mean that we can only afford cm for one child, so won't be having a second until he's in school, but that's no help to you!)

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Waferthinmint · 06/09/2013 18:37

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SDhopeful · 06/09/2013 18:53

Agree about the nanny solution, no other way makes sense in your situation.

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Stuckinarutagain · 06/09/2013 21:19

Thanks the posts. Some great food for thought. No, I'm not surprised. But perhaps no 5 was ; )). If I'm honest, I was looking forward to sorting out childcare somehow and getting back to the career I love. Being unable to get the children in one school and our wonderful blessing has just left me feeling a little confused that's all. As for further education, I have just finished studying a headteacher's masters which took me a long time with the children growing up. I guess I am just slowly re assimilating the knowledge that promotion is now out of my reach. And dh probably bought me to earth a bit by informing me that my career dreams are now over and it's all about looking after our gorgeous brood for me. I'm a lucky lucky lady who has been incredibly blessed. But I just wanted to achieve my career goals as well. Greedy eh ;) ?

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HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 06/09/2013 21:34

No no no no no no NO! OP how old are you? Promotion is not out of your reach. Your DH is a bit of an asshole TBH to say your career dreams are now over.

However it will take careful planning. And you have to really want it.

You can't have everything. With a full time job you will be less involved with your DCs lives, just out of pure necessity. If you can delegate as much of the drudgery as possible to au pair / nanny / family PA type of people you can spend the fun and important stuff e.g. Homework and cuddles with the DCs. Maybe not right away but when your lovely surprise starts Ft nursery?

I'm also curious why it's an automatic assumption that it is your career that's over...

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Stuckinarutagain · 06/09/2013 21:40

Thanks for your kind post. My career is over because I have hit and passed the big 4-0. And it's my career because dh earns five times what I would. Again, lucky lady to have a dh with a good job in these days. But I still miss having dreams of my own. Anyhows, I must stop wallowing and go and give myself a good kick and remind myself how blessed I am. Life is good. I just so love teaching and had a lot of dreams.

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ProphetOfDoom · 06/09/2013 22:02

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bigbuttons · 06/09/2013 22:10

It's not just the logistics of childcare though. It's all the time that would be needed out of school hours to plan, mark, assess etc .

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