Do you teach at the same school that your own chn attend?

(24 Posts)
Tobermory Sun 14-Apr-13 22:10:05

So, I'm going for a walk around this week.

How do I talk about it? What to say?

complexnumber Fri 05-Apr-13 14:31:26

I am in the same school as my DD's.

As yet, I have not had to teach them, but that possibility is becoming ever more likely as they approach my age range (We live overseas, I work in an international school and teach 14 - 18 y/o)

I can't see it being a problem should the situation arise, their peers have been aware that I am a teacher for some time. Also, it is not unusual in my school, I think there must be at least 30 kids who have teacher parents.

It can be seen as some sort of assurance that the school is ok, teachers would not want to send their own kids to a duff school

orangeandlemons Wed 03-Apr-13 20:52:56

Yes, purple, parties were my issue, as was drink, when ds's mates tried to smuggle it in.

My dad taught at my secondary school and my mum at my primary school. It was a bit weird when I went to uni and there was no parent around :I

I never had a problem but was never physically taught by either of them.

Tobermory Wed 03-Apr-13 18:32:25

Purple blossom, yes I have wondered about both those scenarios.

All the experiences are really interesting and giving me lots to consider. The school is a primary so maybe some differences in terms of experiences?
Have made an appointment for a look-round so will see.

Voodika Wed 03-Apr-13 12:32:21

I taught my daughter once for one day, I was helping out covering the nursery teacher. It was a never to be repeated experienced. I read a story and she said every word before me, then had a big strop, then decided to show off. I've never struggled with challenging children before so was a bit shock. Five years later and I am sure she would be an angel now but since then I have always thought that to teach any of mine would be a bad idea!!

PurpleBlossom Wed 03-Apr-13 11:51:53

This is a future potential scenario for me and I've always wondered how it would work.

Things I worry about are 'play-dates'/ parties. As a Teacher would I be able to have DD's classmates over to play? I see it potentially putting me in a very difficult position.

Also I think striking that balance between being friendly with other parents as a 'parent' myself, then having to switch back into Teacher-mode would also be difficult.

Watching with interest!

mawbroon Wed 03-Apr-13 11:29:51

My parents both taught at the only secondary school in the town.

It was absolutely bloody awful for us. We got shouted at in the street, people phoned up the house, swearing down the phone. Two of my sibs were physically assaulted etc etc.

But there were other teachers' kids who didn't seem to have any problems.

chrome100 Wed 03-Apr-13 11:13:24

My friend's mum taught PE in our secondary school. She was a very unpopular teacher and I think my friend found it hard to hear the other kids slagging her off and hating her lessons.

On the other hand, at primary, our class teacher was a child's mum and taught him full time. I don't recall there being any problems.

deleted203 Wed 03-Apr-13 01:29:45

Hmm. As a child of teachers it is hellish in my experience. My Ma taught at my school once I reached about 14 and I loathed it. I was constantly having older, bitchy girls come up to me and tell me my Mum was a cow and they couldn't stand her every time she told someone off. I really affected me. And I suspect I was much more rebellious at school to 'prove' I wasn't a goody goody because my mum was a teacher than I would otherwise have been.

I've taught with colleagues who have had kids in the school and like Nonky they have found it really difficult having folks in the staffroom constantly coming up to them saying, 'I've just had Peter be really silly in my class' etc. One of them once said wearily to me, 'Well, at least he behaves in your class,' and I felt obliged to say that well, no. He didn't always. But unless he had done something so serious that I was intending to contact a parent then I wasn't going to mention it in the staffroom - that I would phone home and ask his wife to make an appointment to come and speak to me about his child's behaviour, as that was the only fair way of handling things. It is not fair on either child or parent otherwise.

Like others I think it's ok when they are little. But at secondary school it is pretty horrendous for the child, if not for the parent.

orangeandlemons Tue 02-Apr-13 09:09:28

My ds was at my school. It was ok-ish. I found that when he reached 16 boundaries became a bit blurred. Eg when he was16 I was happy for him to have some alcohol at his party, but then as a teacher where do you stand hosting a party for drunk 16 year olds? Some of whom you teach?

Then I once had a very very difficult class which had a lot of ds's friends in. I found that very very difficult.

Nonky Tue 02-Apr-13 09:05:49

Sorry to put a dampner on things but in my experience (and I appreciate it is just my experience) teaching at the same school as my child has been a very negative experience. It may depend on your staff, school ethos etc but I found I was being told every single little thing my child did. Whilst this was lovely when they were positive, it was a nightmare when it was small, silly bits of behaviour that a 'normal' parent wouldn't be told at all. I also found some teachers and parents were a bit off with me as neither knew which 'side' I was on! I was often put in tricky positions with some parents who wanted staff/school 'gossip! In the end, we made the difficult decision to move our child. Which was the best decision! I do understand though that this may just be my experience

michaelrB Sun 31-Mar-13 12:16:45

Can thoroughly recommend it. My children have been at my school/s for the whole of their education and it has worked really well from both sides. Just need to be clear of boundaries eg I never discuss my own children's progress with colleagues at work and I leave any meeting when they are to be discussed. I do not attend parents' evenings as their parent. We keep our distance at school so they are have their secrets/space and i can have mine. They have learnt discretion with ease. These small adjustments are far outweighed by the pleasure of watching them grow up.

NaturalBlondeYeahRight Sat 30-Mar-13 22:27:43

One of the lovely things is getting to watch all the shows/sports days/concerts. Not easy in the teaching profession.

cardibach Sat 30-Mar-13 22:23:42

Incidentally, I have held management roles in the school, and the problem AltogetherAndrews is concerned about did not arise either.

cardibach Sat 30-Mar-13 22:22:01

I have both been the child and teacher in this sort of scenario. WHen I was at primary school, my dad was the Head. It had its difficulties, but I can't say I generally felt hard done to.
I teach at DD's Secondary, and it has been absolutely fine. It is a rural area, so there are few schools and several teacher parents at DD's school. It is a bit trickier when you have a complaint as a parent, particularly if it is about a member of staff. I haven;t solved that one, but, thankfully, it is a rare occurrance.

Tobermory Fri 29-Mar-13 13:09:04

Thanks all, much food for thought.

Have requested app pack, so will see what that says. Now try and get appointment with head in next two weeks (Easter hols!).

saadia Fri 29-Mar-13 08:56:40

It does also depend on the child and whether you can establish boundaries. I have a child in my class who is the dc of the TA in the parallel class. It does cause problems for me, the child is very distressed when her mum is not in the class for whatever reason, spent all day crying when her mum was on a course once. Constantly asks to go next for or to her mum at home time when I am sending children home. I have worked on this, explained that mum is working, has jobs to do etc.

Also mum is hard to deal with at Parents Evening, challenges everything I say. Child finds it hard to focus as her mind is always on next door and needs a lot of reassurance if we do anything away from the classroom.

AltogetherAndrews Fri 29-Mar-13 08:09:21

Coming at this from the angle of having been the child of teachers, I would say proceed with caution. I think it is doable when they are young, but a bad idea at secondary. Also, it depends on your role. There is a world of difference between having your mum in the school as a TA, and having her there in a promoted role, ie your teacher's boss.

Where I live is fairly rural and there isn't much option but to have your dc in the school where you work as there isn't another (secondary) for miles around!

It's absolutely fine most of the time. The only dc/parent's who have had problems have those who haven't been able to accept when their own dc hae been naughty! I agree that you just have to try and keep work/dc separate e.g. could DH do parents' evenings etc?

DD's reception class in Sept will be taught by one of her little friends Mum. It will be lovely I think - her dd is very sweet which helps I guess.

I don't now the DCs are at secondary but I did for most of DS1's primary years and all of DS2's. I loved it. The school had lots of staff children. It worked really well for all of us. DS1 was there before I started teaching there and it was because I really like what they were doing I applied for a job.

I had DS1 in my Maths group for 2 years which was fine as he was good at maintaining distance. I never taught DS2 and actually moved year groups to avoid being in the same year group as him at one point because he's quite clingy.

I'd go for it.

EvilTwins Thu 28-Mar-13 22:29:26

Go for it. The first school I taught in, a number of years ago now, was full of teachers' kids because it was one of the best comps in the area. There were enough of them for it not to be weird.

I'm Head of 6th Form at the school I'm at now, and one of the TAs has two kids in Yr 12. It works fine - I think the parent/teacher needs to try to keep things separate though - I would imagine it would get pretty irritating if colleagues wanted to speak to you about your own child at breaktime or whatever when with other parents they have to find time to make a phone call.

MillyMoo1113 Thu 28-Mar-13 20:42:56

I think its fine as long you can keep your instance if that's the right word from your own dc whilst you are there.

I did my gtp year at the school where my dc go and it was fine even tho they were only 5 and 7 at the time. I never actually taught them tho dd was in an assembly I did but they were fine with it and so was I. Moderating your own child's work is an interesting one though!

A friend taught in the same school as her DC for several years and had no problem, again, never had them in her class.

If its two form entry it's fairly easily avoidable, but some heads aren't keen on having parents teach in their child's school. Or so I've been told.

But if its your kind of school, go for it, jobs in schools we really like can be hard to come by!! Good luck!

Tobermory Thu 28-Mar-13 18:23:19

Just that really...

Am looking for a new job for a variety of reasons.
One that is very close to being perfect has just been advertised. It's at my DDs school which is very lovely but my DD goes there and I'm just trying to figure out how much of a problem it might/might not be.

The school is exactly the kind of place I want to work, in terms of size, vibe, physical space and if my DD didn't attend then I wouldn't be thinking twice.

Things I'm thinking about...

It's a two form entry so entirely feasible that I wouldn't teach them

Dc2 is about to start there in nursery in Sep so have many more years of them attending.

We're not in catchment so not physically too close to my own home.

A job came p two years ago and I quite regretted not going for it.

Would it be weird or difficult?

Would really appreciate any thoughts or experiences.

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