How much energy do you have for your own kids after school?

(14 Posts)
beatricequimby Fri 23-Nov-12 21:23:01

I leave for work before the children get up in the mornings, get home 5.30.6ish which is OK, then usually more work when they are in bed. Thinking about increasing my hours but my main concern is that some days I am so tired when I get home I find it hard to give my children much attention. I am wondering if this is just me, due to a fairly long commute, or the nature of the job? (And I am not saying that teaching is harder than any other job!)

MillyMoo1113 Fri 23-Nov-12 22:15:46

I think to be honest it's the nature of the job. I drop my dc at my dads in a morning at half seven and don't collect them from him til around five but then spend time have tea/football/ brownies/ homework etc then work after that. I work full time and have a continual guilt trip about the time i spend with them. I'm fortunate enough to only have a ten minute commute, don't think I could cope with longer. I just try to make the most of the school hols - ds is 10 and dd is 8 so they understand they are fortunate for me to have all holidays off. the the guilt is never ending tho ....

ravenAK Fri 23-Nov-12 23:27:45

I constantly juggle it - dh works away a lot, which means our routine is a mad scramble in the morning to get them to breakfast club & myself to work, then pick up from CM in the evening, tea, bedtime, sit down to marking etc...

Agree with MillyMoo that 'family' becomes all about the holidays.

beatricequimby Sat 24-Nov-12 19:26:43

Thanks, that's interesting and confirms what I thought. I think probably for us the decision is going to come down to how much we need the extra money.

Arisbottle Sat 24-Nov-12 20:14:44

I do family in the holidays and weekends to be honest . During term time I am a good enough parent. We moved closer to work a few years at which helps but I am still leaving for work as the children are getting up and I am coming home not long before the youngest goes to bed. I try and have some time with each children every work evening, whether it be doing homework with them or reading a bed time story.

We have a mother's help at home and to be honest I could not cope without her.

I do not think that this is just a teachers issue though.

DH and I also get up very early to do housework so evenings may be taken up by doing dinner and the cleaning up associated with that but we are not doing other housework. That gives is more time with the children.

Arisbottle Sat 24-Nov-12 20:17:40

I have also tried over the last few years to really look after my health so that I have the energy a family requires. During term time I rarely get more than five hours sleep during the week. So I am a bit health mad so I can sustain that both mentally and physically . This means juicing every day, going to the gym, massages, eating healthy etc. It has made a huge difference, my life during term time is something of an endurance sport.

missmapp Sat 24-Nov-12 20:19:12

I ve just gone full time and have noticed the difference in time for my children in the evenings . We needed the extra money ( dh made redundant recently and has found a new job at lower money) so Prob wouldnt have gone full time if didnt need to. Having said that- its made work much easier ( no annoying handovers!) I am looking forward to the holidays, when I try not to do school work so I can be a proper mum

missmapp Sat 24-Nov-12 20:20:13

p.s - no extra help here, but I would LOVE a cleaner !!

missorinoco Sat 24-Nov-12 20:20:30

I'm not a teacher, so appreciate I don't quite get it, but for what it's worth I feel the same when I come home from work. Working days are about getting them all ready for nursery/school, and when I pick them up they just have enough energy for a drink and snack before bedtime. It's a toss up as to whether the five year old or I have enough energy for me to listen to him read, and some days I have to honestly warn him I am too tired and may get grumpy, so we can only read a tiny bit.

Arisbottle Sat 24-Nov-12 20:23:07

I agree this is a working parent issue and not just a teacher issue. I felt much the same during my previous career, at least I now have the long holidays to be a great parent.

EvilTwins Sat 24-Nov-12 20:29:10

I see more of my kids than DH does during the working week. I drop them at Breakfast Club on my way to school and pick them up from After School Club between 4.30
& 5 depending on what day it is. DH works in the opposite direction and does 8.30ish til 6-6.30 most days so he tends to get home in time to help get them ready for bed. The difference is that I end up working most evenings, whilst DH doesn't usually. In terms of working hours across the year, we probably do about the same, but I have to fit my working hours around the kids.

lecce Sat 24-Nov-12 21:23:50

I leave the house at 5.45 but nearly always manage to be home at 5ish. I have a 40 minute commute but, while in many ways it would be good to cut it down a bit, I do enjoy the head-clearing time it gives me.

I find the time between 5-7 easier now the dc are older (5&3). When they were babies I used to really struggle to motivate myself to get on the floor and do stuff but now there is reading to be done and it seems a little more structured.

I have been known to sit in the car outside the house and have a little weep blush before going in because I have loads to do once they are in bed and I just don't know where I am going to find the energy they deserve from. This is partly because ds2 still comes to our bed at night and disturbs me so I rarely get a decent night's sleep.

I live for the holidays but ds's primary has become an acadamy and many of the weeks no longer coincide with mine, so we are moving. There is no way I would be doing this if it weren't for the holidays and the fact that dh is a sahd.

missmapp Sat 24-Nov-12 22:24:19

lece- I agree, I wouldnt do this job if it wasnt for the holidays- i realise how fortunate i am to have the hols and it makes working full time much more managable.

Leafmould Fri 30-Nov-12 20:01:36

I agree that this is an issue for Most working parents. However, I find my patience reserve is depleted after spending all day dealing with difficult teenagers. Yes, I am tired at the end of the day, but if I have had more paperwork or meetings, and less time in contact with the young people, I do manage to face my children with a greater degree of patience and understanding.

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