Back again for advice on another urchin that has 'found' me!

(84 Posts)
Applecrumbly Sun 01-Dec-13 14:22:02

Hi to everyone that helped me a few months ago when I found a kitten and kept it and was literally shellshocked at the madness of a new kitten ,having only ever had dogshmm.But our little Cleo is now 7 months,been spayed and we love her to bits and is much calmer(well thats what I thought until we put the xmas tree upgrin).
Last Tuesday however,I found a large tabby crying pitifully in the garden-we are rural so surrounded by fields etc) - and of course I fed her and off she went,except of course she didnt go anywhere and was back the next day and is still here.She is really friendly and keeps rubbing herself round my ankles and pushing her head into my hand to be stroked and purring etc.She seems to be very vocal,crying even when she has been fed etc.
I have made a bed for her in the woodshed,under a table and lots of blankets etc because heres the thing..I think she might be pregnant.Im not sure but I think so.She is eating an awful lot...approx 3 pouches a day and lots of dry also.
What will I do? Is it ok to just carry on like this,providing shelter and food.Will she be warm enough? I cant bring her indoors as we have a dog and an indoor kitten and if she has kittens we will be over run with cats and I dont really want that.
She is a large tabby and is really lovely and friendly.
Sigh!Why do they always find me?

What you should do is get her to a vet immediately and get her spayed/aborted. If you can't afford it ask about RSPCA/Blue Cross vouchers or speak to your local Cats Protection.

It would be a disaster if she were to have a litter of kittens outside. If they survived and weren't eaten by foxes(which is unfortunately very likely) they would go on to form a feral colony and the only thing that would then keep the numbers down would be predators or starvation.

The best thing for her and for the cat population in general would be an abortion. At the same time they can check for a microchip.

Immediately after the op she would need to be kept in for about five days. Do you have a spare room? Even the bathroom would be fine.

After that (and this is of course all presuming she doesn't have a chip) then I'm sure she would be fine outside with shelter and food and well done to you for caring. But please, please get her to a vet this week.

Fluffycloudland77 Sun 01-Dec-13 15:14:48

Could you take her to your vets to scan for a chip? It's a free service at my vets, they probably all do it for free.

If she's not too far along would you consider spaying & aborting the kittens?

cozietoesie Sun 01-Dec-13 15:17:08

Yes - my vet would do it for free.

Applecrumbly Sun 01-Dec-13 16:59:18

Oh thanks for all the advice...I will go to the vets in the next couple of days so.I didnt realise they could spay/abort etc if not too far along.I was wondering about the kittens and foxes etc so if the worst comes to the worst then I will bring her indoors and she can have them indoors and I will keep herself and the kittens inside.I will do my best to rehome the kittens.Not ideal but I wouldnt leave her outside if its that dangerous now that I know.
Thanks again for the advice.Iwill keep ye postedtchsmile.

That's great. I'm really glad you posted.

Most vets will abort until very close to the due date so unless she is so big she can barely walk at the moment you should be fine on that.

It's great that you are able and willing to help her.

sashh Mon 02-Dec-13 05:23:25

you could always post her to Sparkling <helpful>

Applecrumbly Mon 02-Dec-13 19:05:24

grin sashh.
Well I am very grateful for the advice yesterday as it made me act immediately and she is booked into the vets for spaying on thursday.
I decided to bring her indoors last night after all but she wouldnt come in so what do you all think are the chances of keeping her and her settling in....She is very affectionate when either myself or dd,16,go out to the shed and if we kneel down she climbs on to our laps.But theres no way she will let us pick her up.I tried all sorts of treats etc at the back door again today but no good..she is too nervous to come in.
I think I will keep her if I thought she would settle in happily but Im not surehmm.We have a collie/retriever cross who is very friendly and a 7 month old house kitten who is very cheekygrin.
Today dd took little kitten out to the shed just to see what would happen but the stray hissed and spat at her.She also seems very scared of the dog whenever the dog is outside barking which is only natural I suppose.
She seems to really like her little arrangement in the shed but I feel its too cold for her.I have put a litter tray in there and she has used it so I think I will close the shed door tonight in case a fox gets in.I will have to bring her inside after her surgery on Thursday but whats the best way for me to do this ?Dog sleeps in kitchen.Kitten is confined to spare room overnight with all her food/litter tray/water etc.
What is the best way to bring this urchin indoors and help her to feel safe and happy here?The weather is supposed to get very cold at the weekend too so I would be very glad of any helpful tipssmile.

cozietoesie Mon 02-Dec-13 20:24:50

She's probably all full of hormones and instinctive behaviours if she's pregnant so I wouldn't necessarily take what she's doing now as a complete map of what she'll do later on. The fact that she's friendly to you and your DD is a good sign, I think. And that she's used a tray. I think she's an ex-pet.

You've pretty well got to take her in to the house on Thursday when she gets back from the op because she'll be completely irresponsible with the GA - but haven't you also got to take her in on Wednesday evening? (To ensure she doesn't eat anything after 22.00 as well as to make sure she's around to be taken for her op on Thursday morning.) Could you maybe redesignate the spare room? I'm also wondering whether you should think of borrowing a dog crate for her to use and then you could leave that in the spare room.

Yes I was going to say exactly the same as Cozie about taking her in on Wednesday evening.

The ideal solution (assuming of course that you don't have lots of extra rooms) would be a dog crate in the spare room with the kitten. That way they could get used to each other while both feeling safe. I'm sure they will all get along fine eventually - a little bit of hissing and spitting to start with is quite normal.

If you don't have another room and can't get a dog crate then perhaps the bathroom? Or maybe the kitten could go in the kitchen with the dog and the cat could have the spare room? For getting them all used to each other purposes though a dog crate for a couple of weeks would be ideal (they are big enough to put a cat bed and litter tray in).

If she does end up back in the shed once she's recovered from the op then you don't really need to worry about foxes. Foxes eat small kittens but its very rare indeed for them to attack adult cats.

Good luck with her and it's great that you're looking after her.

cozietoesie Mon 02-Dec-13 22:54:35

PS - if you're minded to use a dog crate (simply because it gives her plenty of room and you should be able to fit in her own tray) then why not phone and ask the vet if they have any to borrow or rent. Some vets do - and if that was to be the case, you could bring it home after taking her in on Thursday.

cozietoesie Mon 02-Dec-13 22:57:35

PPS - Did you get the chip checked? (Or lack of one.)

Applecrumbly Mon 02-Dec-13 23:56:55

I didnt take her with me today cozie -I simply had a chat with the vet.I have now closed the shed door (I had been leaving it slightly ajar in case she wanted to get out) seeing as she is using a tray and it will keep the little shed a bit warmer and safer for her.So,I can ensure she will fast from approx 9pm on wednesday night.The vets are indeed lending me a crate if I need it so I think I will go for that .
I was actually furious with dd for (a) taking kitten outside and (b) just plonking kitten on ground in front of big stray cat to 'see what would happen'.Stray could have really attacked her and dd would be bloody useless if that happened.I was out when she did it-honestly you'd think a 16 yr old would have sensehmm.
We actually do have plenty of rooms so I will confine her to one now she is using a tray.I am relieved to hear about foxes and cats -I wasnt sure but its good to know.For the time being I will keep her confined at nightime and we will see what happens after thursday.
Thanks so much for all the hints and tips.I will continue to update.thanks.

Fluffycloudland77 Tue 03-Dec-13 07:34:27

Not many people introduce cats to each other properly.

Shorty & Kodi on youtube has a video about it, there owner is brilliant and needless to say shorty and kodi love each other despite kodi being a newcomer.

Applecrumbly Thu 05-Dec-13 22:06:20

Ok I have an update for you.Well,stray cat is not pregnant and has actually been spayedfblush.They found the scar as soon as they shaved the fur.She is approx 2 yrs old and in great health.Vets have put her on their lost and found register so if anyone reports a similar cat lost they will contact me.She is not chipped either.
In the meantime I have brought her indoors and she is on a blanket in the living room behind the sofa snuggled up against the radiator.I cannot leave her in the shed anymore...its too cold!
I need more advice though please experts.
The problem now seems to be that 7 month old female kitten will not leave her be.She keeps going up very close to stray and staring at her and stray keeps hissing and 'growling' and I am terrified that there will be a catfight.Can female cats get along ok indoors?And what about the dog?She is just ambling around keeping out of the way really.I have ,for the past hour or so ,kept kitten and dog out of living room and will do for rest of the night but what will I do tomorrow?Its the kitten is the one making me nervous really as she doesnt seem to have the sense to stay awayfconfused.
Is it ok to just let them all amble around tomorrow and sort it out themselves or what?
I am going to leave stray in living room tonight as she feels secure there now and leave dog in kitchen as usual and kitten in box room as usual.
Bloody hell,all these bloomin animals!
I would be really grateful for advice peoplefsmile.

Fluffycloudland77 Thu 05-Dec-13 22:11:02

It sounds like kitten wants to be BFF & stray isn't coming to the party.

Cat fights aren't the end of the world, it's sorts out pecking order. It's no wonder the dogs keeping out of the way with two cats in the house now.

cozietoesie Thu 05-Dec-13 22:17:05

A collie/retriever cross? He'll be butter in her/their paws although it's best to keep him out of the way for a day or two (as he's doing instinctively) so as not to spook her.

It doesn't sound too bad to me with the cats. Supervise them tomorrow when they meet up in the morning and make sure you have lots of Dreamies to hand so that they associate the other animal with good things.

Good luck.

cozietoesie Thu 05-Dec-13 22:18:53

She - I don't know why I had it in mind that the dog was male.

Applecrumbly Thu 05-Dec-13 22:55:25

Oh thank you all-such quick replies.fsmile.Cozie I will do as you advise and have the dreamies to hand.Fluffy,I watched that youtube clip and it is so sweet to see them getting on so well at the end.
So what is the worst that would happen if the stray 'went' for kitten if kitten wont leave her be? Its funny,but thinking about it the kitten has never seen a real cat before and is instinctively drawn to the cat.I found her at 6 weeks old and have kept her indoors because we are on a really busy main road.

cozietoesie Thu 05-Dec-13 23:05:54

She'll almost certainly have seen a real cat before - just not for a long time. I don't know/remember where you found her but I'm assuming it was on the side of a road somewhere - or something like that (rather than being hand reared from birth.) If so, she'll have been raised to 6 weeks by a female cat ........and then something happened.

Hissing and growling isn't too bad. There's often a lot of posturing and she's young enough not to pose a bad threat to the stray. If the new girl gets real fed up she'll likely biff her rather than doing any real damage with claws or teeth. But best to keep a gentle eye on things at the beginning. (Doesn't mean you have to sit with them - in fact it's probably better if you're getting on with your own business and just being a 'presence'.)

Applecrumbly Thu 05-Dec-13 23:14:21

Yes cozie I found her on the roadside..yes I had forgotten she was raised by her mum to 6 weeks probably.I will take your advice tomorrow and supervise closely.Thanksthanks.

cozietoesie Thu 05-Dec-13 23:25:06

Well supervise generally but not cloyingly close. I think the thing is to keep the emotional temperature fairly cool - eg nothing wrong with sitting in the same room reading a book or doing some work but I wouldn't, myself, be on top of them all the time with stroking.

Best of luck.

That's great that she's not in fact pregnant. (It reminds me of a similar situation I had last week. I was called to a report of a heavily pregnant stray cat in someone's garden. When I got there it was just a very fat and very well-cared for cat that was luckily chipped and only a few yards from homesmile)

As Cozie said, cat fights aren't the end of the world, and it's very unlikely it would end up with a full on fight in any case. It sounds as though the kitten just wants to be friends and the stray is feeling a bit wary. I'm sure it will all soon be fine.

cozietoesie Fri 06-Dec-13 08:53:10

I'm amazed they called CH rather than just checking with all the neighbours. Such is modern life, eh?

How is it going this morning, Apple ?

Remember to keep an eye open for beasties. As she's been 'on the road', you'll need to be thinking about de-fleaing and de-worming for all residents as soon as practical.

I take it you're going to be keeping her if it turns out she doesn't have a home and Cleo and she reach an accommodation?

I know Cozie, but the fact is I'd rather be called out for any number of false alarms than for people to not alert us to a cat that really is pregnant.

cozietoesie Fri 06-Dec-13 17:16:44

Of course, TCN.

Finding 2 cats? Well that's just greedy. grin

Is there any way of telling if a cat has been spayed? Cat rescues don't shave them all to see if there's a scar. confused

Sparkling actually they do. We certainly do if we don't know the cat's history. However when you get experienced with this sort of thing you can generally just tell by looking, unless the cat is very young or stray and undernourished. Well cared for neutered cats just have a look about them that you get to recognise.

We still shave to be 100 per cent sure though.

Feral cats will of course be ear-tipped.

Oh right cn. I had Sparkling Cat from the CP, and when I took her to the vets they asked if she was spayed. I thought 'ooh I hope so'. grin
I hope she looks like a well cared for neutered cat. smile

Applecrumbly Fri 06-Dec-13 17:50:17

sparkling do you want onegrin?
Todays update is that stray cat has not moved from the bed next to the radiator and is only lifting her body to eat and use the toilet.Is this normal for a cat...she just seems to want to sleep all day? I only have experience of the mad kitten!
Kitten still will not leave her alone and cat hisses and spits at her when she comes too close..I think she is scared of the kitten a little actually.I remove the kitten every now and again to give the cat some peace and keep them apart when I am not around.Dog wants to be cats friend too but cat is not interested so dog is not bothered and slopes off upstairs.
I am hoping as the days go by that cat will get more confident and will wander around the house a bit.My biggest fear is that she will attack little cleo and do serious damage to her-I would never forgive myself if that happened...could it happen do you think?
So ,we carry on but cat basically seems to be content to just veg out-loves being stroked and having her tummy rubbedfsmile,

Yes Apple, but Sparkling Cat and DH say no. sad

That sounds quite normal OP. I'm sure she's just enjoying the warmth and comfort and being in a proper home. It's true she may also feel a bit intimidated by the kitten. I think it's very, very unlikely that she would do the kitten any serious harm and I'm sure they'll get used to each other soon.

Fluffycloudland77 Fri 06-Dec-13 18:02:46

Most cat fights are just swearing and posturing, proper fighting is rare.

She might be relaxing properly enough to sleep really deeply.

Applecrumbly Sat 07-Dec-13 15:02:18

Oh thanks everyone.I hadnt thought that she might be relaxed enough now to sleep deeply..honestly I have never known an animal laze around so much..of course my only experience is of the kitten bombing around everywhere at top speed.
Well.I think I am seeing a more relaxed atmosphere developing in the applecrumbly house today.She doesnt seem to mind the dog much but still hisses and makes strange noises at the kitten who will NOT stay away from her.But I dont think its as bad as yesterday.
What should I do about her going outside?I have no objection to her going out as she is used to it but should I try and coax her to the backdoor just to let her know she can go out if she wishes or would she instinctively start looking for a way out if she really wanted to venture outside? She still has not left the living room.She has walked around the living room a few times.has climbed on to my lap twice,has sat on the window sill looking out,sleeps up on the arm of the sofa and hops onto sofa near dd sometimes.Then just goes back to sleephmm.
I suppose what I am asking is should I just be led by her and leave things be? She is eating 4 pouches a day and a little dry food and is using the litter box.She sleeps at night in living room on my favourite chair it seemsfgrin.

cozietoesie Sat 07-Dec-13 15:08:30

I'd let her make the running as to what she wants to do. It will help her feel secure in her new home. If she wants outside, she'll make it clear to you, trust me. And if she wants to laze inside, warm, fed and loved, well......... who can blame her?

Good news anyway. It all sounds as if things are developing well.


cozietoesie Sat 07-Dec-13 15:10:29

PS - and it's winter, after all. She'll likely be different come spring and summer and with a bit of confidence to her.

Fluffycloudland77 Sat 07-Dec-13 16:04:23

Kittens are like toddlers on a haribo high for adult cats though, deeply deeply annoying in other words.

You're very good to take her on so readily.

minnisota Sat 07-Dec-13 21:57:07

re the going out. I tool in a stray once who wouldn't even look out of the window, let alone go out.
Been there done that!
Other strays have loved going out, and loved coming back in again.
Wait and see I'd say

Applecrumbly Sun 08-Dec-13 11:15:24

Thanks so much to all of you for the great adviceflowers.
I think,as you all said,that each day stray is getting a bit more settled.Kitten still full-on and no amount of hissing is making a difference to her but I can see that stray is not as quick to react now.
She is eating really well,using litter box and just sleeping,lounging about...still not venturing from living room except last night during the x-factor at one stage I saw her creep into the kitchen and head for the hall but unfortunately the dog came in from the hallway at the same time and scared her and she ran back again but it was a sign that she was going to explore a little.
She is wary of the dog but not as much as the kitten...or maybe she simply hates the x-factorfgrin!
I am so grateful to all of you because you gave me the confidence to go ahead and bring her in and hopefully things will work out..she is very affectionate and lovely really.
I love mumsnet so much for this sort of thing.You regulars here on the litter tray provide an invaluable source of advice for people like me without much experience with cats.
Thanks again.Will keep updatingfsmile.

cozietoesie Sun 08-Dec-13 11:31:53

She's likely learning that the kitten is an awful lot of mouth but not a real threat. (And who knows but that she might have had a litter in the past and still be vaguely familiar with kitten ways.)

Sounds OK so far.

RubySparks Sun 08-Dec-13 11:44:13

Does she have a name yet!?

catsrus Sun 08-Dec-13 20:01:01

the other thing to remember is that cats have personalities - and make friends. for the last 25 yrs I've always had 4-6 cats, some have been best friends, others hated each other. I've had cats that didn't like cats but loved dogs (we've always had dogs too) and cats that decided their role in life was to be an adoptive big brother / sister to new kittens. I currently have two 6 yr old litter mates who couldn't be more different. One sister grooms and is friendly to the two new 'interlopers' (who are almost 3yrs old but she settled down with them while they were kittens) but her sister just hisses and gives them the evil eye and always has - and from experience I think she always will. I have some seriously evil looking photos of her when she sees one of them in the room fgrin

It sounds to me like your new girl has a basically kindly personality so once she is used to the kitten and dog it will all settle down nicely. If she was of the evil cat variety I think you would know by now!

Applecrumbly Sun 08-Dec-13 23:13:27

Aw thanks again for all the helpful comments.She actually began exploring today after I had posted here and went upstairs and hid under a bed for a while and had to be coaxed out with a piece of chicken.She has also wandered around the hallway but is still wary of sudden sounds,shouts etc and of course the bloody kitten...kitten is so funny though,she will not take no for an answerfconfused.
Only thing strange was about an hour ago she went upstairs and did a giant poo in the bathfshock.There is a second litter box next to the bath so she had to go past this to get into the bathfhmm.I will leave the flap off the box upstairs for a few days I think.I assume cats have no problem sharing a litter box do they...I have two covered ones,one in the living room and one in the upstairs bathroom which is just at the top of the stairs so very accessible.I seem to remember the catneuterer saying that all her cats share 3 litter boxes so I assumed my two can easily share these.
Her name is Bella catsrusfsmile.

cozietoesie Sun 08-Dec-13 23:33:48

3 litter boxes for two cats should be fine but she's still finding her way so you'll likely have to be a bit tolerant of accidents at the moment.

By the way - if she roams or hides under the bed, I'd leave her to it rather than coaxing her out. (She's probably trying to get away from the kitten and have some Me time.) My cats are allowed to mooch around and do pretty well as they please as long as they don't breach the few (but strict) house rules. They seem to enjoy that freedom and in fact choose to spend most of their time with the family.

I know you're maybe anxious about her settling into the family but will come. Give it a few days and she'll be up on your lap and rubbing noses with the best of them. (As long as the kitten is asleep!)

Well done Bella. (We'll forgive her that bath accident for her trauma. Let's hope it's the only one.)

Applecrumbly Sun 08-Dec-13 23:53:36

2 litter boxes cozie-but that should be fine shouldnt it?We left her under the bed for about an hour and a half..I was afraid she might wee in a corner of the room so coaxed her out.She was on the stairs just a few minutes ago and the kitten ran past her and she flew at kitten with claws out etc.I really hope this stops cozie soon..I am feeling sorry for little kitten bless her.

Applecrumbly Sun 08-Dec-13 23:55:14

What are your house rules for the cats cozie if you dont mind me asking? I am just curious!

cozietoesie Mon 09-Dec-13 00:01:51

Take your point about the peeing.

The claws out bit isn't so good but maybe she's at that point of getting her bearings and is just judging it wrong. I wouldn't be too worried about saying a firm NO to her if you see her trying anything again so maybe just keep an eye on the pair of them.

Is there any way of distracting the kitten - or her - with some games? Bella has been a big change to the house but if she's to stay, you'll need to return to normality as soon as possible and have them living normal cat lives rather than be always watching them to see their interactions.

cozietoesie Mon 09-Dec-13 00:05:29

No going on kitchen surfaces
No scratching unauthorized surfaces
No biting in bed

That's the lot - although, interestingly, they seem to extend in cats' minds - so that eg the surfaces rule extends to a number of surfaces and not just the kitchen ones. Nothing to do with me - just something inside their brains that I haven't figured out yet.

Applecrumbly Mon 09-Dec-13 00:13:00

thanks cozie

Applecrumbly Mon 09-Dec-13 18:04:53

Newsflash !.Cat is goneshock shock shock.
So much for loyalty eh?
Came down this morning and fed stray and was getting ready for school run etc and was in and out the back door to car and as kitten was still in bed in spare roomhmm I left the back door open thinking new lady was too shy to go out but was also interested to see what would happen.I saw her wrinkle up her nose as the smell of cold air filled the kitchen and she walked to the back door and was gone.
I returned from the school run thinking she would be waiting at the back door but no.So I remade the bed in the woodshed for her and left a bowl of wet food for her and water and a few hours later I saw her outside and watched her go into the shed and emerge smacking her lips afterwards.Then she spotted me at the kitchen window and started crying but when I went out she had gone again and still has not returned.
The shed is there if she wants it now and her little cosy bed under a table and some food so we will see.
Bloody cats eh? All the fretting over the weekendangry.

shock A feline freeloader.

cozietoesie Mon 09-Dec-13 18:09:38

Wait until late evening. I reckon she's just out checking the neighbourhood.

LittleNoona Mon 09-Dec-13 18:15:13

I had no idea kittens could be aborted. I'm irrationally upeset about this - God knows why blush

Applecrumbly Mon 09-Dec-13 20:59:36

grin Sparkling!
Still no sign cozie!

cozietoesie Mon 09-Dec-13 21:02:57

late evening. I still reckon she'll be back.

Applecrumbly Mon 09-Dec-13 21:20:39

I'll have a peep again before I go to bed.Bloomin monkey!Mind you I dont mind so much now I know she is not pregnant and is spayedsmile.

Fluffycloudland77 Mon 09-Dec-13 22:07:58

I'm going for 11pm, our cats used to be back by 11 most nights.

Applecrumbly Tue 10-Dec-13 20:52:06

Ha-Ha Fluffy...are you actually a catshock? She was back at 11pm! ! ! !.You were bang onshock.
I fed her and she was looking at me as if to say 'let me in now please' but I decided to keep her in the shed.I feel very mean but after 4 days she was still gunning for the kitten and I noticed a big difference in the kitten after she left actually..kitten was much more confident again and happier in herself.So I have made as comfy a bed as I can in the shed,I will feed her 3 times a day and we will visit her regularly for some attention etc -she can also come and go as she pleases.The strange thing is she seems to be much more affectionate towards us in the shed.

Fluffycloudland77 Tue 10-Dec-13 21:44:58

They will get used to each other eventually, more so when the kittens grown up a bit.

My childhood cats always came in at that time after an evening patrol.

Corygal Wed 11-Dec-13 16:57:54

Apple - this is a lovely story, so nice to have an extra cat in one's life. I bet she's set to stay with you now.

Applecrumbly Wed 11-Dec-13 18:11:41

I know cory but I feel so mean keeping her in the shed having had her indoors for 4 days but she just does not like the kitten at all. She seems to be spending all her day curled up in her bed in the shed and just getting up to eat and go out to the loo etc.Please reassure me that she will be fine in the shed..I have a pile of blankets/rugs under a table and a screen half round it in the form of an old curtain and her food and water next to it.The door is ajar just wide enough for her to get out and I will add even more layers if the weather gets really cold.Do cats have the common sense to burrow down into layers of blankets if its really cold?I am too much of a fusspot arent I?fhmm.

Applecrumbly Wed 11-Dec-13 18:14:34

cozie forgot to say you were of course spot on again with your predictionssmile.

boofted Wed 11-Dec-13 20:38:59

We have a stray cat that has been living in our greenhouse for 2 years now. I have made several boxes for him to sleep in. They are insulated and filled with straw which keeps them warm and dry. I also put a heat pad in with him at night and a hot water bottle during the day. I have put a couple of candles under some terracotta pots to keep the frost out too. I'd bring him in but he isn't too friendly and we have other cats inside the house. I'm sure your wee cat will be warm enough. Although I'd persevere with her and the kitten. It doesn't sound like it would take them long to tolerate each other. I've had cats that have had major fights for a week or two and then became best friends.

Applecrumbly Wed 11-Dec-13 22:25:53

Oh okay boofted thats interesting to know.Yes I do keep thinking will I or wont I?

cozietoesie Wed 11-Dec-13 22:32:36

The kitten is still only young and being faced with a feisty full grown female is probably a lot for her - she's wanting Mom-type treatment and isn't getting it so is likely confused. Things may get easier with time and as she grows in confidence.

Oh - and the big girl will be fine in the shed. (As evidenced by the fact that she's staying in there rather than creating mayhem to get back in the house.) If it gets really bitter, there are heat sources (heat pads, hotties etc) that you can put in there to add to her blankets.

Applecrumbly Wed 11-Dec-13 22:54:24

Thanks cozie I do really value your advice..fsmile.Thats interesting,would a cat really create mayhem if they desperately wanted to get back in?

cozietoesie Wed 11-Dec-13 22:58:13

Verbally, yes. If she really wanted to you'd hear the yowls from deep inside the house.

Applecrumbly Wed 11-Dec-13 23:25:43


Applecrumbly Fri 20-Dec-13 21:34:17

Just an update on my little stray friendfsmile.Well,last saturday I thought 'sod it I cant give up on her not settling in to the house so soon' and decided to try again.I coaxed her into the carrier and brought her indoors again but this time I thought I would give her her own room as her own little safe haven as opposed to plonking her straight into the living room which is what I did last time.
She seems very happy there,has food,water,litter box and an old duvet on top of a double bed to snuggle into,and a couple of toys(which she ignores).The first few days she simply stayed put in there and I made sure the kitten didnt go near but once a day I would take the kitten in to her in my arms for a few minutes etc.It soon became apparant to us that the stray is not the aggressor at all but the kittenfshock.She kept going up to the door and would hiss and spit and growl at the stray when she would catch a glimpse of her and the odd time she escaped into the room she would go to eat the food etc.The stray would simply watch from a distance.
A few days ago then I started to confine the kitten for half hour or so and I would leave the strays bedroom door open and lo and behold the stray began wandering out and exploring the other bedrooms etc.She wanders into dds room and gets up on the bed but the slightest noise and she runs straight back to her own room under the bed,She is terrified of dh and scarpers as soon as she sees him or hears him on the stairs-I have no idea why,he likes her but cant get near her.
So,at the moment herself and kitten have become sort of used to each other...I leave the door open all the time now as long as I am in the house and kitten wanders in and out and stray doesnt seem to mind and then stray might wander out and go back in again then...I close the door at nightime or if the kitten is being very annoying etc.
So my question to you guys now is will I simply be led by her and see what happens?There is no way she will come downstairs..I have tried and tried but no good.Does it sound like she is happy enough with this set up?I feel like she is a prisoner fhmm.
She is eating really well,using litter box etc.She made me laugh yesterday as I have another open litter tray in the bathroom which the kitten uses upstairs but I saw the stray hop into it yesterday and do a big poo as if to say 'right ,that will fix you pesky kitten'.Kitten was there watching looking rather stunnedfshock.
So does it sound like she will get more confident but it will simply take time?

cozietoesie Fri 20-Dec-13 21:50:27

Yes it does. If a cat was deeply unhappy by 'confinement', you'd soon know about it, believe me. She sounds as if she's steadying and getting her bearings after a rough time.

I wonder why she dislikes your DH so much. Maybe badly treated by a man previously?

Fluffycloudland77 Fri 20-Dec-13 22:03:13

Maybe that's the cat equivalent of fuck you kitten.

It'll go one of two ways, mutual ignoring or eventual friendship.

Watch shorty and kodi videos on youtube, their owner introduced them very carefully and they are great freinds. Kodi was an annoying little bugger to start with though.

janeyjampot Fri 20-Dec-13 22:03:35

We adopted a stray and his behaviour was quite similar. Initially when we shut him in he shot upstairs and hid under a bed. He stayed there for ages, and when he finally started to explore he'd run back under there at the slightest noise. It didn't last that long though. A few days later at most he was exploring the whole house, but sometimes in a very wary manner. Similar to your cat, he didn't like DH at first and was nervous if he moved around. A year on he's very settled with us but doesn't like my Dad at all - I think he must have had a bad experience with men at some point. My Dad does tend to stride around though smile

Applecrumbly Sat 21-Dec-13 14:12:14

Thanks everyone for your replies.Thats interesting janey..very similar.Thanks as usual cozieand fluffysmile.

boofted Sun 22-Dec-13 22:33:02

I am so glad you brought her back in grin Sounds like she is making herself at home. You're a nice person.

Applecrumbly Sun 22-Dec-13 23:59:46

Aw thanks booftedfblush.Yes she is getting there slowly but surely bless her.

Iwouldratherbemuckingout Tue 24-Dec-13 09:58:51

I'm loving this story on Xmas eve smile specially cos I'm feeling grotty so am snuggled under the duvet with little black cat.

I think she just needs time to explore and to feel safe. My little Lillie was born at the rescue she came from, and it took her a good time to extend her boundaries to the whole house. She started off in the conservatory and worked her way out from there. Just let her do things in her own time. The thing my Lillie took a long time to get used to was the tv, she would only come into the living room when it was off for ages.

Now it's a different matter and she likes nothing better than some knee time in front of the tv!

Good luck, I think Bella is a lucky girl smile

ThistledownAndCobweb Tue 24-Dec-13 20:04:22

I'm sure she'll settle.
We got a rescue girl a couple of months ago. She spent the first week under the spare bed and wouldn't go near DH but would come to me.
She then ventured out but would find hidey holes and secret herself away.
I was worried that we were going to have a cat we never saw, and that she wouldn't have any freedom.

She now thinks she owns the house, she smacks the terrier on the bottom when he walks past and will even sit on DHs lap if he picks her up.

She hasn't become friendly with my other cats but they just ignore each other which is fine.

Today she's been charging in and out of the cat flap all day and having a whale of a time.

Applecrumbly Thu 26-Dec-13 00:30:07

Oh thanks for that Iwould and Thistle.I was just thinking along those lines today actually.We had family round for lunch today and several of them wanted to come upstairs and 'see' Bella and she is just sitting on her bed in the spare room mostly,wanders out to the landing now and again and scuttles back in again if dh strides upstairs or if there is a loud noise etc.I was wondering today if she will simply stay there forever like a sort of lodger that we never see.
Not helped today of course by remarks from my mother/sister etc saying things like'that cant be right can it,you cant keep a cat up here forever'.She seems happy out being fed well and is warm and cosy etc so I guess we will see eh?I will keep you all updated.Thanks fsmile.

catameringue Thu 26-Dec-13 13:40:08

I love how passive aggressive cats can be. My girls line up to toilet in boy cats litter tray in the morning sometimes and one steals his bed. He does it back of course. It's like a cold war!

My dh was struggling to bond with the girls. I taught him not to approach them and he feeds them more which helps. It has to be on their terms.

I put my newest cat away at night to give the others respite so that can help ease the tension. Otherwise I'd let them both roam and find their feet.

Applecrumbly Thu 26-Dec-13 18:14:05

Thats funny you mention the litter tray carry-on..kitten and cat have a litter tray each but the kitten seems to delight in using the litter tray belonging to the other cat .Is this normal then..I assumed they would each prefer to use their own one?Is it a territorial thing as in 'I'll show you who's boss and I will do a huge poo in your litter box'fgrin.?
Honestly the carry-on is just unreal by them.They spend hours simply staring at each other on the landing sometimes,both in a sort of 'loaf' positionfhmm.

Fluffycloudland77 Thu 26-Dec-13 18:18:02

We've had three female cats. They were all mental, nice to humans but snooty and moody with each other.

I like neutered boy cats, they like fuss and food.

Applecrumbly Thu 26-Dec-13 21:13:27

Thanks for that reassurance fluffy fshock.

Applecrumbly Thu 26-Dec-13 21:14:25

Actually snooty and moody is probably a very apt descriptionfhmm.

Fluffycloudland77 Thu 26-Dec-13 21:50:42

They liked humans, just moody with each other.

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