:-(( our lovely old lady has just been diagnosed with advanced cancer

(44 Posts)
NeverKnowinglyUnderstood Fri 15-Feb-13 16:54:07

she has several large masses in her colon and her nodes and her spine :-((

she is home with me here, the vet has been amazing saying that we will do whatever it takes to make her comfortable. However he also wanted me to know that we would never regret making a reasonably early decision to say goodbye, but we may regret leaving it till she is suffering very badly.

she has been my friend for nearly 18 years... I don't know what to do...

Frenchfemme Fri 15-Feb-13 17:33:01

I am so sorry - this a horrible thing to have to face, for all of you. I have had to make a similar decision on several occasions (the last one only a couple of months ago, an old lady of similar age to your precious friend). All I can offer is to agree with your vet that better early than too late. I think you will know in your heart when the time has come to say goodbye, although it will be very difficult to admit it to yourself. Sorry I can't be of more help, except to say you have both been very lucky to have enjoyed a long and loving bond. Thinking of you.

so sorry to hear that - enjoy your time left with her. Poor puss.

NeverKnowinglyUnderstood Fri 15-Feb-13 18:12:58

thank you ..
we have been to the supermarket, she has chicken and fish and ham to eat (not all at the same time)
we have been so controlled about her food all her life and so we have now devided she should have her favorites for the next few weeks.

Frenchfemme Fri 15-Feb-13 18:18:51

If she wants them all at the same time ....! Ham was always a favourite of my old lady Cat, and her daughter Kitten (inspiration was in short supply when we collected them from Cat's Protection). Enjoy your purrs and cuddles.

As I recently mentioned on another thread this is a decision I have to make about four or five times a year (as I have about 20 old/ill cats living with me). It's always difficult to decide exactly when to do it, but I still live with regret for leaving it a bit too long on some occasions. I have never, never regretted doing it sooner rather than later. But you should be guided by your vet and his/her opinion of your cats quality of life/pain. It's a difficult decision and I do feel for you.

NeverKnowinglyUnderstood Fri 15-Feb-13 18:21:48

our lovely vet said in passing when we left this afternoon that for the first time in the 12 years that he has known her he would be delighted if she had put on weight next time he saw her.

NeverKnowinglyUnderstood Fri 15-Feb-13 18:23:55

we are seeing him again on Monday to see how she is.. he has given her steroids to support her for the weekend

NeverKnowinglyUnderstood Sun 24-Feb-13 22:56:03

Oh My,
well I thought I would do you a little update as you were all so kind.

Lucy has perked up, we doubled the initial dose of steroids and she is eating again.
She still has a runny bum and leaving little wee patches around but she seem so much more content.

I really feel like we have bought a little time to get our heads round things.
Apparently the mass is carcenoma in a few rings round her colon, which will obviously close off her colon at some point and that is aside from it being in her lymph glands and spine.

It isn't going to be long I know, but I do know that these last days/weeks we have together she is more comfortable.

Anyway, thanks again

Thanks for the update and it's great that's she's perked up a bit. But don't leave it too long. You know her the best and you will know when she's not happy, and that will be the right time.

Sunnywithshowers Sun 24-Feb-13 23:05:27

Thanks for the update OP.

My lovely boy had multiple myeloma and had a wonderful 8 months on steroids (tablets cured the runny bum) before he passed.

Wishing you and your kitty many cuddles and nice times. xx

NeverKnowinglyUnderstood Mon 25-Feb-13 08:29:24

thanks lovelies..

NeverKnowinglyUnderstood Fri 01-Mar-13 20:33:42

the vet is coming on Monday evening to put her to sleep.
her bowel is now blocked.
he isn't available this particular weekend

to sad to write anything else

NeverKnowinglyUnderstood Fri 01-Mar-13 21:18:59


oh Never I am sorry. [hugs]]

Sorry (((((hugs))))

Sunnywithshowers Fri 01-Mar-13 21:27:25

I'm so sorry ((((more hugs))))

Nobhead Fri 01-Mar-13 21:30:49

I'm sorry Knowingly it is so sad when the time has come to let them go, especially one that has been with you for so long. Have you decided if you want her ashes back or not? I only ask this as every time we have had to do this we have had the ashes back and scattered them in their favorite place in the garden and either planted something or bought a little ornament to mark where they have been put to rest and this has always been a great comfort to us.
Cuddle her, sleep next to her whatever makes her feel comfortable until the time comes. sad

Frenchfemme Fri 01-Mar-13 21:41:28

So so sorry to hear your sad news. I do second what Nobhead says. Thinking of you all. xxx

NeverKnowinglyUnderstood Fri 01-Mar-13 22:17:31

Nobhead.. she is going to be planted under the cherry tree in our garden.

She doesn't seem to be in any pain, we are going to double her steroids for the weekend.

Do you think she knows that she is dying?

cozietoesie Fri 01-Mar-13 22:23:00

She won't be feeling that well but that should be the limit of her awareness. Give her lots of love

Thinking of you.

NeverKnowinglyUnderstood Fri 01-Mar-13 22:43:00

thanks everyone..

NeverKnowinglyUnderstood Sat 02-Mar-13 16:19:11

Oh this is horrid....
she has totally perked up now we have doubled the steroids..
she is now totally unable to go for a poo and is incontinent with wee
But chatty and cuddly and begging for food again...

The kids think she is better... sad

Never, I think you will just have to remind them of the wee/poo thing and tell them she can't go on if she can't poo and can't hold her wee. sad

Just keep cuddling, and stroking. (((hugs))))

greenhill Sat 02-Mar-13 16:26:37

Sorry to hear this. Hope you get a few more good memories with her and if possible take some photos, while she is still perky x

NeverKnowinglyUnderstood Sat 02-Mar-13 16:27:01

thanks sparkling..

SecretNutellaFix Sat 02-Mar-13 16:27:45

Never, sorry you are going through this.

What do the DC know about her illness? Have you been able to explain that her body is shutting down?

lljkk Sat 02-Mar-13 16:32:06

Better she goes out on a high then after pointless suffering.
Sorry it's all so hard. sad

NeverKnowinglyUnderstood Sat 02-Mar-13 16:34:09

they know that she has cancer.
they know it isn't fixable
they know that she is going to die soon

they do not know that we are going to instigate the final call
nor that the vet is going to come here.. that is soemthing we are going to have to explain..

My thought is that this weekend we make it clear to them (and to use the above phrase about her body shutting down)
I am not going to tell them about the vet until Monday after school..
the vet is coming at 7pm.

They know about her accidents.

Thanks for your kindness... in know in the BIG wide world this isn't big cheese but it feels massive to us ..

It is massive. 18 years is more than massive. And it's happening to you right now and it's horrible.

Wolfiefan Sat 02-Mar-13 16:43:13

I disagree completely! It IS huge. We lost our boy about 18 months ago. They are a member of the family.
<Holds hand and sneaks a hug!>

NeverKnowinglyUnderstood Sat 02-Mar-13 16:53:57

thanks for the sneaky hug..
your online kindness has made my eyes water (again!)

greenhill Sat 02-Mar-13 16:54:51

It is massive, she's a very important part of your family x

crazynanna Sat 02-Mar-13 16:54:55

sad so sorry. She sounds a great girl and is so very lucky to have a family who loves her so much <<<<<hugs>>>>>

NeverKnowinglyUnderstood Sat 02-Mar-13 16:59:00

tea time so going to feed her,, some more chicken

SecretNutellaFix Sat 02-Mar-13 20:42:31

She has been your companion for 18 years- that's the time of raising a child to adulthood.

Frenchfemme Sun 03-Mar-13 17:28:58

Will be thinking of you all tomorrow. Lots of cuddles in the meantime. xxx

NeverKnowinglyUnderstood Tue 05-Mar-13 08:38:10

Thank you for all your care ladies.
last night was very upsetting but when the vet left she spent the evening wrapped in my arms and blanket.
it was so good to be able to have that time.
this morning we have planted her under a cherry tree in the garden.

All done..
pic of her last night here

((hugs)) Never. How are the children?

I hope it's not too early to suggest but when our lovely old cat Midnight had to be put to sleep we got this to put in the garden. The children were keen to put it in Midnight's 'spot'. x

cozietoesie Tue 05-Mar-13 12:00:43

So sorry, Never. Good that you had that private time with her.

MrsSonky Tue 05-Mar-13 12:34:00

Hope you're feeling ok.

I had my old lady pts on Friday (fibrosarcoma). Your vet was right, I should have had the courage to do it sooner, so I'm glad your lady and you didn't linger. Age & disease comes to us all, it's just how we deal with it.

It will be blossom time soon. A beautiful reminder.

cozietoesie Tue 05-Mar-13 13:01:31

((( MrsSonky))). And all who are missing loved cats.

WhatKindofFool Tue 05-Mar-13 15:06:46

I planted daffodil bulbs around where I buried my fabulous cat. They are coming up nicely now.
I hope you and your family feel better soon. It is awful when they go.

NeverKnowinglyUnderstood Tue 05-Mar-13 21:56:16

thank you ladies.
sad for all of you who have said goodbye to fury friends sad

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