Heartbreak like no other.

(16 Posts)
sugarplumfairy28 Sat 15-Oct-16 17:16:44

Just over 6 years ago, a week before moving house, I walked into a pet shop with DS and DH. We already had 2 cats and had only popped in to grab a couple of bits. The shop had a crate of 3 half bengal kittens, and as I peered in one looked up at me, came over and wouldn't leave the side of the crate, he meowed at me like he was trying to tell me something. He kept looking at me, and to be honest was the most sureal thing to ever happen to me. It was like he was looking into my soul. I had all these memories come rushing back of my childhood cat, who was most certainly my Mum's cat.

After a while, we had to leave. As I walked away this immense feeling of desperation came over me, by time I got to the end of our high street I was in floods of tears. I had to go back and get him. So we did. We brought him home and he slept in our bedroom of a night. He insisted on sleeping on my collar bone and was positively a Mummy's boy. Over time our connection has just grown to a point I can't explain to anyone just what it is George and I have. He actually listens to me, he will do pretty much anything I ask of him even when no-one else has gotten nowhere, at home, in the car when we emigrated, at the vets when he was rushed for emergency surgery, he will do anything I ask, like he knows I wouldn't let anything hurt him.

He suckles from my clothes, comes to find me in bed every morning, he is a legendary hunter, and brings me 'luxury presents' when I am unwell (squirrels, hares and kestrels). He has a certain purr that only I am privy to. He is absolutely massive at 110cm and 6,5kg but is incredibly gentle. Although on the surface he sounds like a good cat, he is so much more. From the first time we met I have always known he is my once in a lifetime soul mate in cat form.

I am a cat person, we have 10, but George, George is different. We have 2 sons and a daughter of his, all of which are good cats, but not a patch on Dad. While I love all our cats, George is more.

This morning, I went outside to go look for him, and I found that he had passed away in his outside kennel, with absolutely no sign as to why. My heart (maybe just my chest) actually hurts. I just can't put into words how lost I feel. It feels like my inner being has been ripped out. I haven't stopped crying all day, I just can't control it - which wasn't helpful as today was the only day and our only chance to buy a new car, that I desperately need since mine went bang. I actually stood outside the dealers office crying. Last year we lost one of our cats, and recently lost my Nan, and although I can say I was heartbroken, this feels so different.

I'm hoping someone may be able to relate. What can I do to make this actually stop hurting.

gingerboy1912 Sat 15-Oct-16 17:36:19

Oh sugar so sorry for your loss flowers

user1469549743 Sat 15-Oct-16 17:41:20

Sending you lots and lots of hugs. Losing a cat is heartbreaking. I had a similar bond with a cat that I had had since I was 4 years old, she lived to about 20.

user1469549743 Sat 15-Oct-16 17:43:39

I still think of her. He will always have a special place in your heart xx

cozietoesie Sat 15-Oct-16 17:46:00

I had a very special relationship with my darling Twoago. It's not easy losing them, I know.

sugarplumfairy28 Sat 15-Oct-16 17:54:20

This kinda sums us up.

mailfuckoff Sat 15-Oct-16 17:57:11

I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my girl a couple of weeks ago. She was they only thing pleased to see me when I got home and dispute having two other cars, 2 dc and a dh Iiss her so much . She was mine and loved me unconditionally in a way no one else ever did .

cozietoesie Sat 15-Oct-16 17:59:24

A big soppy pudding - with you at any rate! grin

My last boy died almost instantaneously by the way - he was only 8 years old. He seemed in perfect health right up to that point.

Weedsnseeds1 Sat 15-Oct-16 20:33:10

So sorry. I have loved all my cats and missed them when they were gone but current cat is that once in a lifetime one, even though I haven't had him long. I can't begin to imagine how devastated you feel.

Fluffycloudland77 Sat 15-Oct-16 21:28:21

He sounds flipping AMAZING. I'm so glad you went back to get him.

He'd have been wasted on anyone else [flower]

caitlinohara Sat 15-Oct-16 21:37:10

So sorry you lost him so young. I hope people are being kind to you flowers

Vinorosso74 Sat 15-Oct-16 21:47:15

So sorry you've lost your lovely boy so young. It is devastating to lose a cat especially when you have such a strong relationship. You gave him a lovely life so as hard as it is you have lots of happy memories (and pictured) of your time together flowers

PinkSparklyPussyCat Sat 15-Oct-16 21:59:27

I'm so sorry, he was a gorgeous boy. I know I will be the same when I lose my darling Harry. The give you so much flowers

Cowardlycustard2 Sat 15-Oct-16 22:36:17

I am so sorry to hear you have lost your darling boy. I lost my dearest fat boy this summer. He had been hit by a car and was only 2 years old and the sweetest most gentle being I have ever known. The pain is literally physical and overwhelming. But time will help a little, Its been 4 months now and can now think of him without getting as upset and focus on some of the lovely memories. What I found helped a little as well was volunteering at local cat rescue, giving extra love and attention to my other cats. Knowing that there are so many others out there that desperately need love and care. Every cat is so special in their own way. It will get better though it doesn't seem possible at the moment xx

sugarplumfairy28 Sun 16-Oct-16 07:49:24

Thank you for your replies. He really was the most incredible animal I have ever known. I think those of us who have been lucky enough to be chosen by these special cats really are life's winners. I have barely slept at all. George's son Suru has spent most of the night with me, I know Suru knows I'm upset, but even this is setting me off. Suru is the most like his Dad and I know beyond all doubt he is doing what he knows George would do. I am incredibly lucky that I literally have a part of George still with me.

There is nothing in this world like the unconditional love and devotion of a cat.

gingerboy1912 Sun 16-Oct-16 21:56:41

flowersflowers

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