Siamese has lost her life partner - what now?

(10 Posts)
InterchangeableEmma Thu 22-Sep-16 13:26:28

We got our two siamese cats almost 10 years ago, Aggie came first as she was already 14 weeks when we found her. Herbie was younger so there was a two month wait before he was ready to come 'home'. Aggie became really very sad indeed during those two months but blossomed when Herbie came, they became the best of friends and closest companions.

Last week we had to have Herbie PTS, he'd been ill for quite some time, Aggie was able to be there, sat with him at the very end and seems to understand what's happened. There's been none of the usual frantic searching that she'd usually display when Herbie was at the vet or just out and about for longer than she thought was appropriate. She's been a bit lost but seems to be settling a bit already, which amazes me TBH.

She's 9 but still very active and playful, she's used to (and seems to need) cat company. Ideally I'd prefer not to get another cat but I'm not prepared to leave Aggie lost and lonely in her old age either. Should we looking into rehoming a cat of a similar age? I'm really not sure if another siamese would be best if we go with an older cat, I suspect so. I'd rather not get a kitten although that probably would be the simplest option all round.

Any advice about the grieving process in cats, how to know if a friend is needed or how to introduce a new cat to the household would be massively appreciated.

cozietoesie Thu 22-Sep-16 13:33:36

What are her relationships with the humans in the household? Is she showing signs of favouring one of them at all?

InterchangeableEmma Thu 22-Sep-16 13:44:05

She likes us all, thankfully. But, she has always considered herself to be the true and only mother of my oldest DC (8 1/2), DC1 is also very, very fond of her. Aggie is quite intense and I don't think it's really fair for DC1 to carry the responsibility of being her person - she sometimes found it a bit much even when Herbie was still with us. Interestingly she does seem to be a bit less intense with DC1 since we lost Herbie though, now I think of it.

cozietoesie Thu 22-Sep-16 13:49:56

I have to admit to a few psychic scars, here, from trying to introduce a new cat into a household with a resident Siamese. (I lost both the battles and the war.)

Who does she sleep with now?

InterchangeableEmma Thu 22-Sep-16 13:50:23

Mmm, maybe she's not actually less intense / demanding with DC1, just more interested in the rest of us than she was before IYSWIM. I think that's probably more like the state of things. DP is her second favourite and DC2 3rd and I'm least favourite although clearly not disliked.

InterchangeableEmma Thu 22-Sep-16 13:57:28

x post. That doesn;t sound best promising!

We'd been letting her upstairs all night since Herbie went, it was last friday so all very fresh.

Before, she'd sleep with DC1 from bedtime until about 11pm before coming down of her own accord to be be with Herbie who may or maynot have been in with DC1, or DC2, or on our bed or just downstairs.
The first few nights she moved quietly between beds throughout the night, seemingly at random. The night before last she spent all night bellowing each of us awake in turn and generally being a pest, bellowing in the garden and seemingly wanting to playconfused
Last night I snuggled her amongst cushions on the sofa before I went to bed, expecting her to shout and want letting upstairs in the night but heard nothing from her whatsoever!

cozietoesie Thu 22-Sep-16 14:32:07

Her life has gone topsy turvy with the loss of her friend and it sounds as if she's 'seeking'. I'm not sure if a scant week is long enough for her yet.

Would DC1 be genuinely put out to be nominated or is it more an 'Oh for Goodness sake - not again' but accepting nonetheless? It might not end up being her of course.

InterchangeableEmma Thu 22-Sep-16 14:52:27

It's early days indeed, I'd not want to introduce a new cat yet even if we were sure that that was absoloultey something we were going to do. Is far to early for us humans, let alone a freshly widowed Siamese. I quite agree.

DC1 has been proud and happy to be 'the chosen one' up to now. I think she'd be quite upset if someone else was chosen TBH. But, that said she's felt quite pressured by Aggie at times, tends to feel very guilty if she's not able to attend to her every whim and so on. Obviously we've been clear that Aggie is our responsibility and not hers, that she doesn't have to tolerate being groomed, that sort of thing, but still DC1 is a sensitive soul and struggles to say no. All this when Aggie still had Herbie.

I guess we'll just have to wait and see how things pan out

cozietoesie Thu 22-Sep-16 15:31:03

When I acquired my current lad, he was older even then - older than your girl - and had just lost his human person. It took him a month near enough to decide to re-bond with me and come back into the family again. And he knew us all more or less.

I'd maybe give her a bit longer - and leave the bedroom doors ajar! smile

InterchangeableEmma Thu 22-Sep-16 17:05:59

Thank you. Wise advice

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