Will my cat ever be a lap cat?

(39 Posts)
PosiePootlePerkins Fri 16-Sep-16 12:50:39

Not that I'm hugely bothered, she's only been here 5 weeks, and we love her to bits anyway, but....
She just doesn't seem interested in being physically close to us. Will accept a few strokes on her own terms, if and only if she's in the mood, rubs around my legs when hungry, mews a bit and we have a little chat sometimes, but otherwise seems very happy and content in her own company.
We have never ever pressed cuddles on her, or picked her up when she doesn't want it, we've learnt to read her quite well and only give her what she seems to want.
I just miss my old dear puss curled up on my lap, she'd jump on at any given opportunity (often most inconvenient!) and I'd love to think that one day new cat might just snuggle up...
Any insights or stories to give me hope?

cozietoesie Fri 16-Sep-16 12:55:07

It's still reasonable weather and you've only had her for 5 weeks. Talk to her a lot and wait for winter. Of course, she might not turn out to be a lap cat but you can't really tell at this stage. smile

PosiePootlePerkins Fri 16-Sep-16 12:59:46

Sorry should have said she's a rescue and around 18 months old, still quite kitten like in her ways.
Thanks cozie I will keep up the chats, maybe colder weather and a warm snuggly dressing gown might help!

No advice as I'm in the same position, our new rescue cat also doesn't do laps and I miss my old boy who couldn't be close enough to me. So I'm following this thread for some good news!

Viewofhedges Fri 16-Sep-16 13:07:31

It took our cat YEARS to become a lap cat. After about 16 years of ignoring us I now can't sit down without cat attaching herself to my lap. I don't know what changed but something did! She may mellow with age.

PosiePootlePerkins Fri 16-Sep-16 13:08:32

Ah nacho its hard isn't it? Nothing quite like a little ball of fur on your lap. I'm so pleased she's here, she's so happy, especially racing around our garden like a loony! But I do just wonder if she's learnt to be self sufficient during her short life?
Let me know if you make any progress!

PosiePootlePerkins Fri 16-Sep-16 13:10:07

View 16 years! Wow. You certainly put in the time to get your reward! Maybe some cats need to slow down in old age before they need cuddles. Seems a long time to wait though!

cozietoesie Fri 16-Sep-16 13:12:49

Some cats just are more 'self contained' than others but for a very young cat in decent weather? They may have an urge to be a-doing rather than sitting and communing. Give it a little longer. smile

(And she sounds happy enough right now.)

Allibear Fri 16-Sep-16 13:14:45

When we rescued ours she didn't want to be stroked at all really for agggeeess. We've now had her for about six months and she's the cuddliest cat! She still likes her alone time but loves to be cuddled too, so maybe give her time, it's been super hot weather too smile

cozietoesie Fri 16-Sep-16 13:14:58

She's very young, Posie. Nobbut a kitten, really. smile

PosiePootlePerkins Fri 16-Sep-16 13:15:37

Cozie you have hit the nail on the head, she has very important jobs to be doing outside, like scaring birds from the bird feeder and fetching me feathers and dead leaves (see she does love me really, she brings me presents!) And then of course there's all the sleeping to do after so much excitement. So I guess being cuddly is pretty low on her list of priorities!
<sigh>

ProfYaffle Fri 16-Sep-16 13:15:41

I'd say give it a few months. Sometimes it's just a character trait that doesn't change but sometimes not. We had a rescue cat who was not into cuddles at first but after 6 months with us, once he felt settled, he changed and ended up being quite the lap cat.

PosiePootlePerkins Fri 16-Sep-16 13:16:50

Thanks Alli that does give me hope. This forum is the best, I knew you lot would help!
I will give her time and report back (hopefully not in 16 years though!)grinwink

PosiePootlePerkins Fri 16-Sep-16 13:17:42

ProfYaffle more hope, thank you! See nacho we might get there one day.

cozietoesie Fri 16-Sep-16 13:19:02

I'm viewing all this in the context of my non-Siamese of course. A bonded Siamese's idea of a good time is generally sitting gazing into your face, or getting as close to you as is possible. grin

PosiePootlePerkins Fri 16-Sep-16 13:27:35

Ah, sounds like bliss!

cozietoesie Fri 16-Sep-16 13:30:58

That's virtually all the time though, Posie. grin

PosiePootlePerkins Fri 16-Sep-16 13:37:05

Oh, could be a little restrictive I suppose... I guess there's a balance!!

Posie, it sounds pretty positive! She did sit on my lap once when a visitor had stolen her chair (the cheek) so I put her blanket on my lap. It was lovely but she hasn't done it since.
She was a stray when she was found at 4 months old so I don't know what she's been through, I can tell she's feeling more settled though so hopefully all she needs is time.
Good luck Posie smile

PosiePootlePerkins Fri 16-Sep-16 14:01:42

Thanks nacho and good luck to you too! smile

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Fri 16-Sep-16 14:07:05

Ime cats get cuddly when the weather changeshmm

PosiePootlePerkins Fri 16-Sep-16 14:13:04

Hurry up Winter!!grin

StillMedusa Fri 16-Sep-16 15:58:50

Same here... Morph was a wrap around cat, but Obie and Ophie are not. Ophie will occasionally sit on me but turns round and round like a dog, then falls off. Obie has never sat on me. They are both 2 and I am hoping will gradually get cuddlier with age...I really miss the cuddles!

Toddlerteaplease Fri 16-Sep-16 16:57:34

Our old teenage hood cat took years to become a lapcat. Then you couldn't get him off your knee. My two will sit next to me or half on my lap but never fully on it. One will dit on a big cushion on my knee though. Weird.

cozietoesie Fri 16-Sep-16 17:00:31

Are you a skinny 'wriggler'? They tend to like people who sit quite still for long periods. smile

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