I don't feel I can ever just relax and love my girl, I worry I'll lose her. Tell me lovely things.

[Pipbin]

A bit of back story. We had 3 rounds of IVF. Half way through round 2 we got BinCat. Round 2 failed but round 3 worked!
Like any pregnant woman I did't feel I could relax and enjoy the pregnancy until I had the 12 week scan. I had a 7 week scan which was fine. 3 days before my 12 week scan I started bleeding and lost the pregnancy.

We have accepted that we won't be parents but I have focused so much love onto my cat. The thing is that I just worry about losing her all the time. I daren't love her too much. I read threads on here like the poor lady whose cat was poisoned and I just worry that I will lose her in the same way.
She is an outdoor cat but we keep her in at night.

I know that this is about so much more than actually my girl but I just need to hear all your stories of cats who have lived long and happy lives.

[TheoriginalLEM]

we had a cat at the vets live to be 21! they really do have nine lives do cats.

I am so sorry that you lost your baby. I can't imagine how painful that must be for you. I think that it is lovely that you have your cat to help comfort you. I just wonder if you need some help to process what has happened. Have you been offered any counselling at all? it sounds very much like you are resisting grieving for your loss, which is understandable. Maybe your gp can refer you or give you contact details.

[thecatneuterer]

Since starting my cat-madness around 12 years ago I think I've probably had upwards of 60 cats. I've taken quite a few middle-aged, elderly or ill ones, so the mortality rate is fairly high i suppose. But of those 60 or so, not one has met with an accidental death or disappeared. They have all lived out their normal (and frequently very long indeed) lifespans.

I currently have some in their late teens, and I've had quite a few reach their 20s.

[cozietoesie]

Seniorboy is a happy 20 year old gent - say no more. I know his time will come (likely rather sooner for him than for BinCat) but who cares when he's sitting purring at me as he is now! (He's in an exceptionally affectionate mood this evening.)

I'm sorry you lost the pregnancy.

[Pipbin]

See now CatNeuterer my mum was a bit of a crazy cat lady. When I was little we had about 12 cats. In total they had about 20 in all. However, almost all met with an accident an a couple disappeared, but they were farm cats.
I guess this is what is worrying me really, I have no sense of proportion.

Original No, I've not had counselling. I am of the 'man the fuck up and get on with it' school. Not to say that other people, or me, shouldn't have counselling. I might look into it.

[tangledyarn]

Pipbin I can really relate, I'm quite obsessive at the idea of loosing my cat..I think about it far too much and just want to be able to relax and enjoy her. Due to health problems it is looking unlikely that ill ever be able to have children so I think my anxiety too is related to that loss.

[Pipbin]

I am utterly sure that it's related to the loss.

[cozietoesie]

Pipbin

TCN had 22 cats at the last admission she made. Just as well she volunteers for a rescue so gets help with vet treatment.

[Ratfinkandbobo]

TCN is a cat

[hiddenhome]

Unfortunately, I've had two cats go missing and we're now going to install garden confinement products because I can't face them going missing. It is truly terrible. I don't believe in keeping cats indoors all the time, so this is a good idea I think. Some people have outdoor enclosures, but our garden is small, so not enough room for one of those.

Please seriously consider confinement mesh.

[Pipbin]

I want to hear lovely things hidden.

[TheoriginalLEM]

ah but having counselling is doing just that pipbin. A good counsellor will enable you to man up and get on with things. It shouldn't be about wallowing, rather it should be about processing and understanding feelings.

Cats are mercurial creatures. Your lovely cat will comfort you and love you. I have friends who have chosen (i assume) not to have children. They post funny videos and pictures on Facebook about their cat families. Its lovely. We have dogs as dp is allergic to cats but Id love to have a cat again. I hanker after a siamese or abbysinian.

I used to have a cat called Santa that followed us everywhere. He once followed my dad to the train station and made him late for work when he got off the train.

[MissingKittyCat]

Pipbin I'm coming at this from a different angle. I've just lost my cat in a horrible way. I loved her, she was my shadow, my beautiful little friend. I invested care and love for 5 years. She was a treasure. I rescued her, I knew her inside out, all her foibles. She was very nervous, started her life in an abusive household, I was her rescuer.

On Saturday I found out she wasn't coming home. I am heartbroken of course. The tears are almost constant. BUT... I comfort myself in knowing how much love she knew in her life. How, had it not been for me, she would never have been understood. Don't fear loving your cat. Pour it out, whether she lives for two more or twenty more years, you'll always know you loved her without restraint.

Our other cat is still alive and kicking. Well, maybe not kicking, he's arthritic! He was a runt, I saved his life, he lived outside for years and has now retired and stays in. He's 12.

Cats are a lottery.
Love without limits.

So sorry for your loss