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Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

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Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

The litter tray

Rest in peace

26 replies

Italiangreyhound · 16/03/2015 13:49

My lovely ginger tom cat died today, ran over, just a few doors from our house. He was just under two years old. He never had any road sense and we always feared this would happen. Attempts to keep him in at night failed as he managed to open the cat flap even when locked.

We thought he had got better and I had stopped worrying about running him over on the driveway and now he is gone.

I don't bear the driver any malice, although they did not stop. Another driver stopped and found out which house he belonged to.

He was the most fabulous cat in the world, so very friendly and everyone who met him liked him!

I called him my ginger pudding.

My 10 year old dd is devastated and we will bury him in the garden tonight.

Any tips on what to do and how to handle it all sensitively?

I am off to shops tomorrow to buy a cross and a garden ornament to mark the grave.

This is so crap!

OP posts:

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sparkysparkysparky · 16/03/2015 13:56

So very sorry. I'm sure you will handle your dd grief very well because you feel it too. Blue Cross website has tips, I think. If a memorial works for you and your dd then you should do it.
That horrible thing, Time, will help but if dd is still struggling then other rubbish things like Keep Her Busy may help.
Tell her school, as well.
Take care of yourself

cozietoesie · 16/03/2015 13:58

I'm so very sorry - RIP Pudding.

This leaflet might be worth reading for when you're talking to DD. (There are at least a couple of versions on the net.)

Have you cleared all his things away? I've found it better to do that before you sleep on the first night.

sparkysparkysparky · 16/03/2015 14:07

Agree with clearing away as soon as you can. It is ghastly and I am sure your own grief makes it hard to do. But it really helps.
I let my Dd cry and see me shed a tear.
Coz ie ' s link gives you really helpful info.
Your lovely pudding boy sounds like a real charmer. Rest in peace.

RubbishMantra · 16/03/2015 15:02

Sorry about the loss of your Pudding.

Italiangreyhound · 16/03/2015 16:14

Thanks so much, for all your kind words.

I did immediately clean his food plates and water bowl.

I have found this helpful. www.rainbowbridge.com/Grief_Support_Center/Grief_Support/Chrildren_and_petloss.htm

My dh took ds in to school as normal at the start of school day but our dd had the morning off school and went in at lunchtime, which was helpful. I told her teacher.

On the way home I allowed kids to choose one bunch of flowers each, one for tonight and then one for tomorrow.

Tomorrow DD wants to get a cross and a garden ornament to mark the grave. She loves the things with otters and meerkats etc so I felt that would be better for her than a plaque. Someone suggested it to me.

DD has started a memory box and we have a copy of his paw prints, his hair brush and toy ball etc.

Thanks so much, any other suggestions welcome.

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RubbishMantra · 16/03/2015 19:03

Italian, I remember reading your post about your cat when he was sickly. You drove him to the vet in the middle of the night.

Was that Ginger Pudding?

It sounds like you're handling an extremely sad time in a sensitive and caring way. Not easy for you either.

Italiangreyhound · 16/03/2015 22:35

Thanks Mantra yes that was me, I drove him to the vets in the night twice. He was the most wonderful cat.

DD wants another pet but not sure it will be a cat. She is quite keen on a budgie or hamster and those do not mix with cats! we got the cat for her so it will be her choice. She is totally devastated and i think only the thought of a new pet has kept her going! It's been one bizarre day!

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cozietoesie · 17/03/2015 11:44

How are you all doing today?

IHopeYouStepOnALegoPiece · 17/03/2015 16:39

I'm so sorry, we lost our lovely boy early yesterday morning and it is just so so crap...thinking of you and your lovely Ginger Pudding xxxx

sparkysparkysparky · 17/03/2015 16:57

My condolences, Lego, it is truly rubbish.

Dreamiesrcatopium · 17/03/2015 17:16

I'm so sorry to both of you. It really is so hard. I remember losing my pet cat as a child and my parents bought me a new one straight away. I hated the feeling that it wasn't my cat. I grew to love him of course, but in hindsight it was just too quick. I hope your daughter is ok. X

Italiangreyhound · 20/03/2015 00:40

Thanks Cozietoesie I am OK. I am sad and when the wind blows the door open I expect our lovely boy to be there, but he is not. Still very sad.

Oh IHopeYouStepOnALegoPiece I am so sorry. The same day as our lovely kitty.

Thanks Dreamiesrcatopium I agree it is too soon for another cat. My dd was very keen on a hamster so I am wondering if we will get a hamster and then in a couple of years (when nature takes its course) we will get a new cat. Unless dd feels strongly about wanting a cat and not a hamster. At the moment she is talking rabbits! Better to think about it and wait, thanks for the advice.

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RubbishMantra · 20/03/2015 03:50

I had an awesome pet budgie as a child. Much friendlier than the pet hamster I had.

He never bothered with flying, just used to run about on his little clacky feet. On a Sunday, he'd hassle until he got the wishbone from the chicken, and run about with it in his beak. The rare times he was shut in his cage, he'd have a poo then fling it at you.

Italiangreyhound · 20/03/2015 14:02

Thanks to you Mantra - we did consider a budgie but the poo is putting me off!

But thanks.

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FushandChups · 20/03/2015 14:17

I had a budgie growing up and my own in my early 20's - just wonderful wonderful creatures! If you get a boy (blue above the beak) you can teach them to talk and their voice is adorable Poo is a bit free flowing - it just sort of happens - but was never an issue and my boy loved to fly and perch on an ornamental plate and watch telly (strangely loved kung-fu and would bob his head during the fight scenes!)

If it didn't have a cat - and am now smitten and couldn't imagine myself without at least one - it would be a budgie every time. One word of warning is they do live a long time, up to about 15yrs so are a significant commitment but then you had your lovely pudding so are obviously pet lovers..

My little Leonard got a stomach bug when I was travelling & didn't make it (or that's what the friend looking after him told me - I reckon she kept him for herself as he was gorgeous!)

Italiangreyhound · 21/03/2015 00:23

FushandChups so sorry to hear about Leonard (named after Spoke maybe?).

We looked at budgies today, dd not interested!

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Italiangreyhound · 21/03/2015 00:27

Hi all, I have started a new thread, in case anyone wants to comment, please?

Thank you.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/the_litter_tray/2336731-Boy-or-girl-ginger-black-white-or-whatever?watched=1

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Italiangreyhound · 21/03/2015 00:33

Oh, last one www.mumsnet.com/Talk/the_litter_tray/2336732-Sorry-last-question-how-long-to-wait-before-getting-a-new-cat

Thank you.

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FushandChups · 21/03/2015 11:58

Thanks for you thoughts - and he was actually named after a friends grandad but he was the most glorious blue colour so did look like Spock What a shame your DD not interested but I can see why - they're not really as interactive as a cat when you're young..

Best of luck on deciding on your new furry buddy

RubbishMantra · 21/03/2015 15:17

How about a rat? They're not nocturnal unlike hamsters. Less nippy and much friendlier.

Ooh, what about a chinchilla? Or Degu, a sort of smaller version.

Italiangreyhound · 21/03/2015 22:46

Mantra thanks, rats....just no, sorry! Degu, look like rats.... sorry. Chinchila, not great for kids.

So looks like rabbits for dd and a cat for me!!! Can we afford it???

Thanks all.

I did look at kittens today but am looking looking at adult cats this week.

DD seems set on a rabbit or two so we may see if we can foster the rabbits and either wait on the cat or get them together, just not sure.

Whatever happens we will get a cat someday so this is all useful.

The kittens were lovely but I am not being sentimental about it and did not show them to dd.

Any ideas on rabbits and cats in the same home?

Thanks, again.

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RubbishMantra · 22/03/2015 08:02

A friend of mine had a rabbit, alongside her 6 cats. We called it 'the cabbit'. it thought it was a cat, and would try to shag them.

If she was sunbathing, it would run past, spunking on her at the same time.

chockbic · 22/03/2015 08:59

There must be something in the water where you are

RubbishMantra · 22/03/2015 09:29

Funny you say that Chock. When we had the searches done on our house, it came back there's a lot of fertilizer type stuff in the tap water. Agricultural area, so it seeps in from the fields.

chockbic · 22/03/2015 09:33

I shall be discreet and not ask if it's affected you

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