Just that really. She's always been an outdoor cat since she was old enough, and has been spayed, had all her vaccinations and is tagged. She's very independent and quite skittish, not really keen on people in general, and will only let DH and I touch her, and then not for very long. She has never been a cuddler but would snuggle between us on 'her' blanket and knead and suckle it a bit when we were sitting on the sofa but she's stopped doing even that in the last couple of months.
She does not like being picked up, or even petted much, and only really comes to us for treats, not for petting. She used to jump on me at 5am most mornings, purring and playful, but doesn't do this anymore (which is good in a way, but I do miss the love), although she does sleep in our room, but rarely on the bed, when she used to quite often. I do try to play with her, but she's more interested in catching flies and chasing things outside - she has brought in the odd present but not too often, luckily!
We let her out when she wants - all day whilst we're at work, and/or all night - she rarely does both consecutively but is used to getting to spend at least a third of her time outdoors, often more. It'll be less as the weather gets worse. NDN's have a cat about the same age that she plays/fights with - they seem to be quite friendly in-between fighting, and have been seen to gang up on other visitors to the back garden!
She also seems to be very territorial, chasing all cats except NDN's out of the garden, and in the last month or so, we've heard some snarling going on, and then she shows up all bushy-tailed and hackles raised, as if she's just given someone a send-off.
DH said last night (after a snarling/bushy-tail incident) that we shouldn't let her out so much as she's getting feral. I'm not sure this will do anything other than frustrate her, and I'm loathe to keep her in as when the weather gets worse, she won't want to go out, so I think she should be allowed out as much as she likes whilst it's not cold and wet! The thing that worries/upsets me the most is that she rarely purrs anymore - possibly because she rarely sits anywhere near us!
So fellow cat-lovers - are we doing anything wrong? Is she just an antisocial cat, or is she going feral? Have we upset her (we used to threaten her with spray bottles when she scratched furniture, but rarely actually sprayed her, and haven't even had to threaten for several months - by threaten, I mean just show her the bottle, not anything more serious!)? How do we fix this? Is it just her age? I would love if she would just come to us for a pet or sit with us sometimes like she used to... 
Last thing - I don't know if it makes any difference, but I am 9wks pregnant. Can she tell? Is this causing any of her behaviour?
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The litter tray
DH is worried our kitten (16mo) is going feral
Clarabell33 · 04/09/2014 11:24
We both love her to bits - both very much cat people. We try very hard to give her her space, me especially, as I would love to cuddle her but know she doesn't like it, so we usually let her come to us and when we do approach her, we don't try to grab her or anything - just as much petting as she's willing to allow, and then off she goes when she likes. I think she knows we love her -she's just not demonstrative back, and she used to be, a bit anyway I talk to her quite a lot too, but physical contact seems to be something she doesn't like much or often.
I don't think the spray thing is really the issue at the mo - we've not had to even show it to her for months as she's grown out of sharpening her claws on the sofa (she's always had a few scratching posts dotted around the house plus the garden fence, so it's not like there was nothing for her to use). It's just the only thing I can think of that could ever have pissed her off - and only if she's suddenly in a huff about something from months back!
From my point of view - did you get her as an only kitten? A cattery owner I spoke to once told me that kittens brought up on their own can end up like this. My oldest boy is not very sociable at all. I think he could be happy as an outdoor cat. I firmly believe it's due to me only having him as a kitten, and working all day every day.
It's VERY unfair to keep a cat indoors who longs to be out, so I think the best thing is to allow her free access to the outdoors and maybe buy a jar of catnip from Pets at Home to cheer her up. Mine LOVE it.
I think its normal for a young cat in the summer to want to be out all the time. I think once it starts getting colder she will probably be in a bit more but I imagine once baby turns up she will probably move out again for a bit 
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