Another quesion about 'making the call' :(

(19 Posts)

So, my beloved Morphy Maine Coone, has been ill for months and months...a gradual decline and withdrawl from everyone. He's had pills, potions, antibiotics, painkillers..inflamed hip but no clear reason why.

On anti inflammatories his pain improved (started eating again) but they rendered him incontinent of poo.. terrible diarrhoea even with other meds supposed to stop it.He's been a week off them and his walking is worse.. he fell over trying to get into the litter tray last nightsad He no longer tries to come upstairs but has managed to climb on to the sofa a couple of times with difficulty. Mostly he just lies on his 'good' side and sleeps. He looks so tired and worn down.
BUT he still purrs when I stroke him, and he will 'chirp' at me now and then, reminding me of the cat he was 5 months ago before he started to go downhill.

Is it time? How can I know if his quality of life is so poor that I am being selfish? I love him so much and while he is so so different now ,but the tiny glimpses of chirpy Morph make me hope he might just be ok enough to continue..

We are away in August for two weeks as well, and I can't see how he could (or should) be in the cattery then... so I need to make the decision but don't know if it is right to continue or say goodbye sad

Please anyone, how do I know when the time has come?

chockbic Fri 18-Jul-14 17:16:41

How does he get on with just the pain relief?

Cozietozie has her boy on some pretty strong stuff. She might be able to advise.

cozietoesie Fri 18-Jul-14 17:25:33

Awful situation for you both, Medusa. I'd be asking myself if he's actually enjoying his life? (At least more days than not.)

merlincat Fri 18-Jul-14 17:45:46

I'm so sorry, you sound distraught. Has the vet not been able to give you a definitive diagnosis? Our MC (who was very old) had pancreatitis which we managed pretty pretty well with a special diet. He was blind and doddery but still himself right up until the day he was pts. On that day he refused food and water and could barely walk; you just know in your gut when the cat that you love is no longer themselves and has had enough.

I agree about the cattery; I'm sure that your magnificent boy would be constantly on your mind if you did go away. So sorry for you.

I don't think he is enjoying life any more. He can't go out..doesn't even ask.. he can't come to bed for a cuddle..and doesn't even try (he has always slept between us like a 22 pound hot water bottle with his paws around my neck grin) He basically lies in the utility room where it is cool and dark, or in the water from his bowl (he is also drinking massive amounts) as he spills it. He is matted and too uncomfortable to let us groom him. It's bascially food-litter-utility. He sometimes hobbles into the living room and lies on the rug..if one of us lies with his he seems to like it, brief purr, but can't bear to be touched down his desperately thin back sad

If he didn't purr at all, or stopped eating completely , I would have no hesitiation at all, it's only that which is holding me back. But he is nothing like the ridiculously affectionate, daft, happy boy who has loved us for 12 years.
My DD2 was home from Uni for a few days this week and lay with him because he couldn't climb to her, and we just feel she won't see him again sad
I wish someone could make the decision for me.

cozietoesie Fri 18-Jul-14 23:43:14

I think you've said it all there, haven't you?

The vet has no explanation for his condition?

His bloods showed massive inflammation ..hence the shit inducing antinflammatories, the vet was surprised as he expected bone cancer. I am taking him back next week to discuss if any more tests can be done, and whether there are any better options, but the vet seems genuinely perplexed as to what is the origin of his illness. I DO trust the vet btw, he has been fab with my cats over many years.
I wonder if a new round of tests would tell us more.. but on the other hand having him in pain, poor quality of life for nearly 6 months now, makes me reluctant to put him under more stress for the sake of a precise diagnosissad
His tests a month ago didn't show kidney failure either, but he is now drinking pints every day.. for whatever reason it seems like he is shutting down.

I am going to have to man up and discuss it with the vet on monday sad

cozietoesie Sat 19-Jul-14 00:02:24

Yes, I think you are. (I'm assuming that the vet has considered and dismissed hip dysplasia - which MCs are prone to - or he would have mentioned it, although something along those lines still sounds the most likely to me.) Shall you be having more bloods taken at least?

timtam23 Sat 19-Jul-14 00:02:43

Medusa I am so sorry, I remember your other posts about Morphy and he is such a gorgeous cat. It is really really hard.

My vet said about quality of life: if the cat is eating, drinking, continent, able to potter around, come for a stroke, go outside if needed - then quality of life probably ok and he would think ok to carry on if that's what everyone wants.
If any of those things start to change - maybe quality of life is not so good and there may have to be hard decisions made.

I have to say your description of Morphy sounds quite a bit like my old girl cat who had to be put to sleep last year aged 18. She didn't have the inflammation/diarrhoea problem but she was getting matted, drinking lots, a bit wobbly on her feet and at the very end she started to withdraw from us.

With hindsight I let things drag on a couple of days too long and it became quite distressing for me to see her like that.

With my other cat, who died a few months ago also aged 18, we had learnt from the last time & were more swift to make decisions. After spending a weekend making a huge fuss of him, we had him put to sleep. It was still very upsetting but he was not going to get better and we didn't want to se ehim get worse & worse.

If he really is deteriorating & not enjoying life have you had a chat to your vet to see what they think?

I hope you are able to come to a decision one way or the other

cozietoesie Sat 19-Jul-14 00:03:33

How are you coping by the way? It's a heartbreaking situation for you.

timtam23 Sat 19-Jul-14 00:05:10

Sorry cross-posted. Make a big fuss of him this weekend, take it day by day, see how he goes & have a chat with your vet on Monday

Take care

cozietoesie Sat 19-Jul-14 00:07:37

Yes, timtam - like you, I let things go a little too long with Darling Oneago. It's so very hard to make that decision even though it's a loving thing.

I'm a stupid mess. He is the love of my life... which only cat people could understand. Until he became withdrawn ..then obviously unwell, he slept every night with his enormous paws wrapped around my neck, face pushed into mine.
He has cuddled my kids through all their teenage hearbreaks, loved me when I was so ill we thought I might die, and just always been there up for a massive cuddle. He really wrapped his paws round our necks like a person would hug, and being a whopping 22 pounds, his whole body cuddle was... impressive!
My kids are devastated by his deterioration.. (two girls at Uni two boys at home) They have all given him as much love as he can tolerate now.He has been the cat of their childhood, their comfort when teen stuff hurt.. just always there, purring, pawing them, laying his enormous body alongside them in love.

I KNOW in my heart that his time has come, but it is really hard to let go of the fur boy who has been the heart of our family for 12 years.

cozietoesie Sat 19-Jul-14 01:06:10

You have to recognize that it's about him now though, Medusa. Everything else is secondary for the moment.

I've booked the vet for tuesday and told the lovely receptionist that it's time.. (she has put me in as last appointment so that I can not have to wait as a sobbing mess!)
Thankyou everyone..and especially Cozietoesie. You are right and he deserves to be allowed to go before he is in even more pain. I'm going to spend this weekend loving him as much as he can manage.

cozietoesie Sat 19-Jul-14 11:42:17

I'll be thinking of you all. Take care.

Itsfab Sat 19-Jul-14 13:19:11

Oh I was so hoping for a happier outcome. I really feel for you all.

I lost FABCat after almost 19 years of loving her so I understand the huge part of your life that they are.

Enjoy your weekend, making memories and telling stories of all his escapades.

flowers.

chockbic Sat 19-Jul-14 13:25:46

All we can do is to love them, and not let them suffer.

Hope you are able to manage lots of cuddles.

JamForTea Sat 19-Jul-14 17:26:20

Medusa, I'm not sure if you've seen my thread about my lovely girl - I am in the same position as you. I also had this a year ago with with beautiful laid back boy who had been with me for 16 years since I 'fostered' him as a student at university. I think we left it a little late with him and it preyed on my mind for a while afterwards that we should have taken him sooner - I regretted it but at the time kept thinking he might perk up. It sounds like you have now made your decision and I think it's the right one based on what you've described. We'll be having our girl pts tomorrow or Monday at the latest. She is rallying for a short time with steroids and is able to eat a little and come for a cuddle, bit it's not her and its not real quality of life. I don't want to be left with the same regrets I had with my old boy. Anyway sorry to ramble but I am right there with you with it being so hard to let go.

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