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Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

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Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

The litter tray

My darling 17 year old cat has peacefully died in her sleep but....

43 replies

spudmasher · 18/04/2014 17:50

I don't know what to do with her....
It's Bank Holiday.
Are you allowed to bury cats in your garden?
I guess I'll call the vets tomorrow and ask?
At the moment she is in a box in the garage....
What can I expect? So sad and this is just painful to think about.
Thanks in advance for any advice/ experience.
I haven't got it in me to google......I'm hoping MN will be more sympathetic!

OP posts:

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Lonecatwithkitten · 18/04/2014 17:53

I'm sorry to hear you have lost your beloved pet.
Yes you can bury your cat in the garden or your vet can arrange a cremation for you.

snoggle · 18/04/2014 17:54

So sorry spud :(

I do hope when my 2 old boys go they pass peacefully that way though.

Re burials, we have always put pets in the garden, cats dogs, rabbits... As long as you have a corner where no one needs to dig deeply later, and you can get deep enough that foxes won't unearth them.

snoggle · 18/04/2014 17:55

Also you can put a memorial plant on top

Northernlurker · 18/04/2014 18:00

You can bury her if that's what you want. Are you likely to move very soon though? If you have friends with a farm or very big garden I would ask if you can use a corner somewhere. Very sorry that you've lost her but 17 is a great age for a cat. She was obviously much loved.

LynetteScavo · 18/04/2014 18:02

So sorry to hear this.

I think either wait for the vet to open in the morning, or bury the cat in the garden. I'm not sure how deep you have to go, though.

I plan to bury our cats in the garden, with a plant on top.

MIL took her cats to the vets, who arranged a cremation, and returned the cats in a small urn. (She keeps them on the windowsill, and my DC assure me the lids don't come off).

LynetteScavo · 18/04/2014 18:04

I've just googled, and if you want to bury your cat, it should be in a box, and 3-5 feet deep.

spudmasher · 18/04/2014 19:09

Thank you so much everyone.
We would like to bury her and I think this is what we will do after reading this. I had it in my mind that you were not allowed to for some reason. We will buy a lovely tree to mark the spot.
Thanks again all xx

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dolphinsandwhales · 18/04/2014 19:52

Hi spud, so sorry to hear your news :-(

my 15yo cat had to be pts at the vets last night. I asked if the burial could wait until this morning but the vet said it should be done within a few hours or to put her in the freezer. :-( so dp buried her at midnight.

cozietoesie · 18/04/2014 19:59

I buried Darling Twoago at midnight in the rain - but the sun was shining there the next morning.

So sorry, spud.

spudmasher · 18/04/2014 20:05

Thank you dolphins and cozie.
Dolphins I saw your thread- so sorry. It's very hard when they are such a part of the family.
DH has taken to his bed...says he's not feeling well but I'm sure he's in his man cave bless him. Not sure i can steel myself to do it alone. It will have to be early morning. She's all wrapped up and it's very cold here now so I hope it will be ok in the cold garage.

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OhYouBadBadKitten · 18/04/2014 20:09

We used a specialist pet crematorium and buried the ashes and put a bush on top. I was worried about her being dug up in the future.

I'm really sorry about your cat. It's very hard.

spudmasher · 18/04/2014 20:20

Thank you badkitten. Maybe you can tell me what the weather will be like at 6am in SE London tomorrow!!
I keep thinking I can see her out of the corner of my eye. Went to give her some boiled ham I'd made as well.....how the hell do people cope if they lose a child?

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OhYouBadBadKitten · 18/04/2014 20:41

It will be dry and cold. Nice morning really.

It does get easier. I lost mine a few weeks ago. It still hits me but its not as raw. It's so sudden for you, cry as much as you need to, it does help.

spudmasher · 18/04/2014 20:46

Thank you.
I've managed to give myself a super headache from blubbing! The teenage DDs have gone hyper emotional- planning collages, posting tributes all over instasnapbook or whatever it is......funny how they deal with it bless them.
What did everyone else's children do about the loss of their cat?

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OhYouBadBadKitten · 18/04/2014 21:04

Teen dd refused to acknowledge it :( she doesn't want to think about it at all.

You need some paracetamol a glass of wine and a big hug.

spudmasher · 18/04/2014 21:17

Best advice I've had all day!

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timtam23 · 18/04/2014 22:11

So sorry spudmasher

Your plan for buying a nice tree sounds lovely, hope tomorrow goes as well as could be expected

My 18 year old cat died last year but my children are much much younger than yours, they did not really pay masses of attention to what was going on at the time but they still talk about the cat and say that they miss her (which even 6 months on, still brings a tear to my eye)

spudmasher · 19/04/2014 07:23

Wow! 18 timtam! That's a good age. So lovely that your children talk about the cat....it just shows what an integral part of the family they are.
My girls seem fine this morning now they have emoted all over the place!

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cozietoesie · 19/04/2014 08:42

Have you found a place to bury her yet?

I put my last two boys in the same area of ground and when I came to move house, the first thing packed was a trowelful of earth from there - so they're still with me in spirit.

OhYouBadBadKitten · 19/04/2014 08:50

Teens are funny creatures aren't they!

spudmasher · 19/04/2014 09:57

So DH woke up and I was ready to hand him the shovel. He claimed he is ill and unable to dig a hole for her. My back wont allow me to do it. So I've now just got back from dropping my girl off at the vets to be cremated. Not what I'd planned but there you go. She's going to be cremated individually and I'll put the tree on top of her ashes. The vet lady was lovely- coping with my choking and hiccuping my way through the details. She even got the cat out of the car for me bless her.
Awful. Oh well.
Hopefully I'll stop blubbing now that's done!
Thanks everyone. It's really helped talking on here.

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cozietoesie · 19/04/2014 10:01

He maybe couldn't face it. It's not the easiest thing to do, emotionally.

I'm sure the vets will take loving care of her.

OhYouBadBadKitten · 19/04/2014 10:04

It is awful. Be prepared that its difficult when you pick up their ashes. Brings it back. I'd wrapped mine in a towel and they hadn't washed it when they returned it which I got upset about (but I might have been upset had they washed it too!)

It took me about a week before I stopped weeping at random times, but I get teary if I think about it too much.

OhYouBadBadKitten · 19/04/2014 10:05

For me I think it was easier to bury her ashes rather than her body. I didnt want dh around when I did it, I just needed it to be me.

500smiles · 19/04/2014 13:22

So sorry spud

Re teens response: 15yo DS wanted to dig the hole for our cat - I think he needed to channel his emotion a bit. He also cut some wood and made a cross. Both DCs wrote her letters to put in her grave and we bought a small shrub to plant.

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