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Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

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Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

The litter tray

I think I'm going to have to say goodbye to my boy :(

28 replies

NewNameWanted · 24/02/2014 14:11

He's almost 16 years old and we've had him since he was six months old, but he's faded fast these past few days and hasn't eaten since Friday.

He is currently lying over the hot water pipes on the landing, his heart is humming and his breathing is getting laboured.

I'm not sure he'll last the night and if he's no better in the morning I think I'm going to have to say goodbye. I'm so sad. :(

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JakeBullet · 24/02/2014 14:16

I'm so sorry, it's such a hard time saying goodbye to a much loved pet.

I lost one when she was 16 .... I'd had her since she was 4 and was heartbroken.

Got three at the mo .... one who came to me as a kitten not long after my old girl died.

Thinking of you xxx

furlinedsheepskinjacket · 24/02/2014 14:19

oh poor thing

sending best wishes x

cozietoesie · 24/02/2014 15:05

What has the vet said about him?

NewNameWanted · 24/02/2014 17:54

We had a very traumatic time last spring with him and the vet gave him 24 hours. :( At the time we agreed with the vet that we would not pull him through one crisis after another for our sakes - that we would allow him to die in his time and not try to keep him going. Besides he is old and weak and would not be able to tolerate any sedation (needed for any tests as he HATES the vets).

I call the vet this morning and voiced my concerns and asked for anti-biotics for him in case it is an infection. The vet was lovely and understood why I didn't want to stress him by taking him in, took note of his symptoms and said she thought it highly likely, given his age, that it is organ failure of some kind (he's on medication for his thyroid so probably kidneys) and not an infection. However, she was willing to let him give ABs a go as it won't do any harm and they only saw him in November.

As the day's gone on I've realised that he's fading.

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furlinedsheepskinjacket · 24/02/2014 17:56

ahhh cuddle him up warm - lots of stroking

cozietoesie · 24/02/2014 18:06

Keep him warm and close to you. Take care.

JakeBullet · 24/02/2014 18:23

Cuddle him up and help him feel safe...tell him how much you love him and have enjoyed his companionship. Most of all look after yourself too....it is a hard time .

timtam23 · 24/02/2014 23:42

Poor old boy. Lots of strokes for him and I hope you all have a peaceful night.

cozietoesie · 25/02/2014 09:00

How did he get on through the night?

NewNameWanted · 26/02/2014 12:00

Sorry I didn't come back yesterday, we were too upset. Thank you all for the lovely comments.

My lovely, feisty, gorgeous boy is gone. :(

He had a peaceful night and was sat having strokes on my lap when the vet arrived. She and the nurse couldn't have been nicer and I held him until he was gone - it was all very peaceful. I couldn't hand him over, so he went to DH for a cuddle and then the nurse took him. They advised us not to watch them leave and quietly left the house while DH and I held onto each other and cried in the lounge.

His ashes will be back with us next week and he will be scattered or buried in his favourite spot in the garden. I already miss him. DD(7) is already planning on two kittens.

Thank you all.

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CuntyBunty · 26/02/2014 12:03

Ah so sorry for your loss. He sounded lovely.

JessMcL · 26/02/2014 12:04

hugs

Def get two new little ones- not suggesting you "replace" him as such but you will soon realise your house is very lonely without him and I promise you it make you feel much better.

NewNameWanted · 26/02/2014 13:09

Just found out that in French yesterday all the children had to say what pet they have. :( I did tell DD's school but these things happen. Luckily DD is a very down-to-earth girl with a pragmatic streak.

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NewNameWanted · 26/02/2014 13:10

I would have sobbed, she probably said something along the lines of, "My cat is old and ill and the vet is coming to put him to sleep today". I almost feel sorry for the teacher if that's the case.

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furlinedsheepskinjacket · 26/02/2014 19:36

sorry to hear your news - may he rip x

timtam23 · 26/02/2014 20:54

Very sorry to hear that
You will have lots of good memories of him I'm sure
I had to have my 18 yr old cat put to sleep about 5 months ago & the one thing which made me less sad was the little stray kitten we'd taken in a few weeks before the old one died. His antics made me smile & it did help (although I still miss my old girl even now)

namechange74 · 26/02/2014 21:04

I am so sorry for your loss, sending your family lots of love xxxx

NewNameWanted · 27/02/2014 10:31

Thinking of going to look at cats this weekend, but I feel like a traitor. :(

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cozietoesie · 27/02/2014 10:56

Are you ready for another cat then right now? The last thing you want is to have a 'second best' and sometimes (just sometimes) going out to get a cat can be wrong at that time.

(timtam's situation was a bit different - Dudley landed on her without warning.)

NewNameWanted · 27/02/2014 11:14

DD wants to get a couple of kittens. I miss my boy, but understand that she wants cats of her own. Joe was not good with children, so they never really bonded. I honestly don't know what I want.

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cozietoesie · 27/02/2014 11:28

Does DD want them because they're 'cute' and there's now a space? Kittens are great fun for a kiddy but I just wonder whether she knows what the family would be getting into. Does she have any experience with other cats?

It's a real difficult decision and one that's highly individual. I know, for example, that with my own 'personal cats', I've nearly always had a period of very intense mourning and then taken steps to give another one a home, usually within a week or two.

(The only real exception was with Darling Oneago who dropped dead suddenly at a pretty young age (8). I just .......didn't think...... about getting another boy to fill his place - and then my Mom died and Seniorboy was without a home. So he came to me because I had a vacancy.)

I can't really advise, therefore, other than (in the absence of a Dudley turning up in your car engine as a gift from the Gods) thinking that you should listen to your heart on this one. If you're uneasy about getting new incumbents, I'd wait until there's a sense of inevitability about it.

But then your DD might be mature and full of certainty after wanting kits for years and her thoughts also count.........

JakeBullet · 27/02/2014 12:30

New, your lovely old boy would bequeath his home, the love he had and his food to a kitty that needs that love and a home. How about looking at the rescue places for kittens?

You are not betraying him...you are honouring him by saying "we loved you so much and you were such a fantastic cat we now cannot bear to be without one".

Much love to you as I know how attached I get to my cats...massive loss when they go. Just know that you gave him a fantastic life and that he knew more love than many poor cats do. xxx

thecatneuterer · 27/02/2014 12:41

I think Jake put it beautifully. Whenever a cat of mine dies (sadly a regular occurrence as I have a lot of old/ill ones) the sadness is always ameliorated slightly by the thought that now I have room for another cat that is stuck in a rescue and desperate for a home.

It is also a comfort to know that I have given him or her a good life and that now I am able to do that for another cat.

You don't need to rush into anything though. Give yourself time to grieve if you feel that is right for you.

NewNameWanted · 27/02/2014 12:50

It is because DD knows other cats that she wants to get another one or two - if her experience was based on part-feral, grumpy boy she'd not be interested.

I think the thought of rescuing another cat is a lovely way of thinking of it. Thank you for that. :) Joe was a rescue cat. :)

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NewNameWanted · 27/02/2014 12:52

By the way, you are all so lovely and your cat's sound fab!

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