Over attached cat

[Stinklebell]

We got 2 cats last summer. A grey boy and a tortie girl, they're coming up to 9 months old.

The tortie has totally attached herself to my eldest daughter, very sweet but cat's obviously not happy and it's becoming a bit of a nuisance

She's currently pacing up and down the hallway meowing, which is alternated with poking her head out the cat flap meowing or pacing up and down the driveway meowing. This will continue until my DD comes home from school when cat will virtually superglue herself to my DD, follows her everywhere and is only happy when she's sitting on, or touching DD

DD can't do anything without the assistance of cat and cat is becoming increasingly distressed if she's not glued to DD. Simple stuff like homework - the cat is climbing all over DD, sitting on her books, etc, if DD is in the shower we end up with cat pacing up and down the landing (or bathroom if she can get in there) meowing her head off.

We do shut her out, but my carpets and doors are taking a battering and the cat is obviously distressed

DD adores cat and it's lovely to see DD and cat together. We all make a fuss of both cats and cat will tolerate the rest of us but DD is her true love and she's really not happy if she isn't glued to DD.

Is there anything we can do?

[Stinklebell]

Oh, and just to add, both cats get on really well.

They're brother and sister and have always been together. Never fight, boy cat is quite submissive to his sister she rules the roost as far as he's concerned so no problems there

[Sparklingbrook]

I really don't know what to suggest Stinkle. I am a little bit unreasonably as much as Sparkling Cat loves me with a few cuddles each day-I have nothing on that scale. How old is your DD?

[Stinklebell]

DD is 12.

It is lovely, certainly makes a change from being completely ignored unless they want feeding, but it's becoming increasingly difficult for DD to do anything with her fluffy attachment.

We even have to shut the cat upstairs while DD makes a run for it and gets a head start when she leaves for school, or cat follows her (school is on a busy road)

I was just reading another post about PICA which reminded me, cat also insists on sucking DD's clothes. She doesn't bite or chew anything, nothing has holes in, but if DD is here cat'll sit on her lap sucking the clothes she's wearing or her hair, if DD's out I'll find cat sucking a pair of DD's abandoned dirty socks or something

[Sparklingbrook]

It's almost as if the cat is displaying kitten-like behaviour and your DD is 'Mummy Cat' if you like. Did this happen as soon as the litten arrived?

Hopefully someone will be along with a suggestion, because lovely as it is it's not right is it?

[cozietoesie]

Sounds like a Siamese - so I'm used to it. (Is there any oriental blood there do you know?)

Out of interest, also, does the cat sleep with your DD? (Sorry if you said but I couldn't see any reference.) I've found with my Siamese boys that it's as if they have to have a tank full of 'Person-ness' and sleeping together fills up their tank. It also means that if I'm not around, they go to the bed and go to sleep because that's warm, cozy and their 'Person-Place'. It also means I can get rid of them if I'm busy because - in the same way - they take themselves off there and have a snooze.

[Stinklebell]

No she didn't do it to start with. Probably a couple of months before she started showing a preference for DD and it's gradually got more and more.

Everyone else I've spoken to have said something along the lines of "oh, she's a tortoiseshell, what do you expect?" I think they can have the reputation of being a bit possessive, but this level can't be healthy surely

Her brother is currently flat on his back, dead to the world in the sun on the dining room window sill. She's now moved her pacing and meowing to the driveway.

Thanks!

[Stinklebell]

Sorry, cross-post.

As far as I know she's just a normal domestic short hair

She wants to sleep with DD, and at the start of the night she'll be happy to sleep at the foot of DD's bed, which is fine.

But, as the night goes on she creeps up until she's wrapped around DD's neck, which then wakes DD.

I've put cat's bed in DD's room, on the floor next to, and on the end of DD's bed but she doesn't stay in it, although, she's always ignored her bed anyway.

If we shut her out of DD's room she'll meow, pace and scratch at the door/carpet outside, which again wakes DD.

It's like having a baby

[Sparklingbrook]

So does she sleep at all in the day? How does she react when DD gets home? it must be a bit like having a dog.

[Stinklebell]

She doesn't sleep a lot during the day.

Sometimes she'll curl up on the roof of my car - where she can see DD coming down the road, and sometimes she'll curl up in the hallway, pressed up against the front door so she's there with bells on whenever someone opens the front door.

When DD gets home it's like cat hasn't seen her for 6 months. Literally throws herself into DD's arms. DD'll sit on the stairs to take her shoes off and cat is straight on her lap, cat's like "oh my god, where have you been? I've missed you so much, you've been gone hooouuurrrrssss!!!!"

It is very sweet and I don't want to break their bond, but cat needs to back off a bit

[cozietoesie]

She doesn't really want a cat bed - she wants to sleep in bed, under the duvet. I think you may have to learn to live with that one - and allowing her into DD's room if she wants it. Your DD will adjust.

She'll likely calm down a bit and want to sleep more over the next few months anyway, by the way. (9 months is a bit of a roller-coaster ride.)

[Stinklebell]

I think DD is resigned to it.

Cat just wants to be touching DD, I think she's happy to start the night at the bottom of the bed as she knows DD will push her off if she's awake, but as DD falls asleep she likes to chance her arm

[cozietoesie]

I think that that's part of the problem - the cat isn't confident about her bed rights. Once she becomes confident she's more likely (in my experience) to just dive straight in and go to sleep.

By the way - you get used to a furry hot water bottle very fast. You say that DD is 'resigned to it' but I bet that if the cat decided to go and sleep on someone else's bed, she'd be right upset and wonder what she'd done wrong. Despite her protests, there's likely to be a quiet pride in being The Person.

(And I might add that after umpty years of sleeping with Siamese, I now can't rest properly unless I have one snoring purring beside me.)

[Stinklebell]

Oh, DD's pleased as punch to share her bed. It's the furry scarf that she objects to. DD doesn't push her off the bed, just off her face

We thought that maybe putting cat's bed on DD's bed might mark her bed territory out a bit, but unfortunately not

[Sparklingbrook]

is there such a thing as a 'cat behaviour person'. My DB got a dog person in for his timid dog. You need the 'It's Me or the Dog ' lady for cats.

[timtam23]

Sparkling - maybe Vicky Halls the author of Cat Confidential?

[Sparklingbrook]

Brilliant timtam-looks really good. £55 for £45 minutes though. How's Dudley doing BTW?

[timtam23]

Sparkling - Dudley is doing fantastically and is a lovely young cat - he also likes to be a "furry scarf", same as the OP's cat, & is devoted to me although not quite as intensely attached

[Kithulu]

OP I think it would help if you tried to up your bonding with the cat. While dd is at school, make a real effort to play with the cat several times a day and give treats. keep this up for a coupke of weeks and I am sure you will see a difference. Good luck.