PS - you could get a cat flap for him to use. Unless he has a chip (of which you know the number) and you can buy a programmable one, you do, however, run the risk of getting other cats in as well so you may not fancy one. I couldn't use one because I have heavy antique doors so when The Lodger was here, I just opened them. He didn't mind - in fact he rather liked having me running around at his beck and call. Your choice.
It may take some weeks to regain his trust - I mean his trust that if he comes in he'll be allowed out again just for the asking. Any bad weather will help though! Just work at it (in an 'ignoring' sort of way.)
Okey cokey. He'll almost certainly be neutered then - and if he's had his jabs then that's fine.
I'd just live with it I'm afraid. Possibly be a little more relaxed about his coming and going ? He may have been used to spending a lot of time outside but now he could have got it in his mind that if he goes inside your house you'll 'trap him'. (You let him in and wouldn't let him out again twice for weeks.) If you could start again with him and let him out at will - in the event of him coming in to eat or sleep in really lousy weather - then he'll likely be a lot more relaxed. He knows your house know so I'd loosen the ties a little and see how you get on.
Best of luck with him.
PS - Maybe keeping the youngest DC away from him and giving him a safe place to go would be a good idea if DS2 is noisy. If he really won't come in when winter hits, you can get outside shelters for cats.
I assumed he would be only because you said 'rescue cat'. If, however, he came straight from an older man and hasn't actually been neutered then there's your explanation: he likes roaming. Even if he has been neutered, he may have spent most if not all of his life outside and simply prefer it by now.
You'll likely find that as the weather worsens he comes in more but some cats do simply prefer to be out on the go - and a young DC wouldn't help in that particular case. Have you had him to the vet to get jabs and so on? If not, you should do so and get his 'status' checked out as well.
The cat is absolutely fine with us all expcept the little one. He did tend to stay out of his way but was happy to sit on the lap of the other 2. He came from an old man who had died, so not used to children I believe. However, he was getting to the point where he was staying in the same room as my youngest quite happily.
We adopted an 8 year old tom cat in Sept. He spent the first month inside. For two weeks he hid under the spare bed but by the end of the month he was friendly and was sitting on our laps and so on.
We let him out after a month and he disappeared for 11 days. He then reappeared in the garden and we managed to coax him into the house and shut the door before he could escape.
Again he was friendly and seemed happy to sit on our laps and be aorund us. After another 2 weeks we let him out again. He then disappeared for 2 weeks. This Thursday he reappeared but is skitish. I've been leaving food out for him and he has been coming to eat it. Sometimes he sits and looks at me from the garden but as soon as I try to open the door he runs off.
My plan is to continue to feed him and I'm hoping that gradually he will start to trust us enough to come back into the house.
Has anyone got any ideas of how I can get him to come into the house voluntarily?