Advice: burying our cat & dealing with remaining cat

[Acinonyx]

Dh is digging a hole in the garden for our girl-cat who died last night. She was 12, and it was very sudden. She came in crying, panting and dragging her back legs. We went to the emergency vet who said she had a blood clot from an underlying heart problem. She went downhill fast and was PTS. I haven't cried so much since my mother died.

Our other cat is her son, 11. He was crying last night and came and slept with us.

Any advice on burying a cat in your garden - and on dealing with a miserable other cat? The two cats were very close, and played and groomed every day. Would it be better to let the remaining cat see the burial or not?

[Fluffycloudland77]

When one of ours died we always let them see the dead body, they would sniff at it and hiss.

I cant see any harm in him seeing the buriel, Our remaining cats used to sit on top of graves, even if they hadnt been interested in that part of the garden before.

[Acinonyx]

We let him see her but the smell terrified him and he ran upstairs - must be the smell of the vet's place .

We've buried her now, not sure if he will work out where she is.

[mankyscotslass]

Our tabby is still unsettled and crying on and off, looking for our older boy who died on Thursday.

[solidgoldbrass]

Animals do grieve, just as people do, and it does pass. There are various websites on pet loss, I think this one is pretty good and they have a helpline if you are really concerned about your bereaved pet.

Also, hope you won't find this intrusive but this might be of interest too.

[Acinonyx]

Manky - ours are/were both tabbies too.

Thanks for the interesting links. They were both originally Blue Cross cats - we've had them for 9 years since they were 2 and 3.

We're going to dinner tonight with non-pet owners. I have 3 hours to stop crying get cheerful .

[whomovedmychocolate]

I'm sorry for your loss. In general terms - bury at least a foot down, mark the spot (so you don't dig it up in two years). Don't worry about the other cat pining, cats are remarkably resilient in such respects.

And celebrate the fact that you made a rescue cats last nine years wonderful. Frankly that's more than most cats get.

[Acinonyx]

I think she had a good life up to the end and, although it was a bit of a shock, the speed of the whole thing meant she didn't suffer very long - from coming through the flap to PTS was under an hour - could hardly believe it was happening. Two months ago the vet aid they were both in excellent health.

I'm glad she made it back into the house, and that we were both home - and we had cat-owning dinner guests who stayed on to babysit while we both went to the vet.

We just miss her (and Xmas has a strong association with death already, which I try very hard not to think about).

[BeckyBendyLegs]

Acinonyx so sorry for your loss. We lost one of our two cats yesterday, also a rescue cat, who was 18 when she died, she had to be put to sleep yesterday. I'm also going to have to be cheerful tonight rather than get all maudlin which I am sure I will. Our other cat didn't see the cat that died, as far as she knows she went to the vet and never came back, and today she's been very clingy and looking very lost. I can't explain to her what has happened :(

[BloodySad]

Acinonyx - we're in a similar boat and it is so sad, i send a mumsnet hug to you. One of our 5 month old kittens was knocked down and killed inches from our gate tonight. I'm so upset but we need to get ourselves together before we tell the DC's tomorrow. We thought we would bury her in the morning in front of the children and have a little ceremony.

Is a foot down deep enough? Or should we try and get her incinerated at the local vets.

[SantasNutellaFairy]

I'm so sorry for your loss acionyx- we have had all but one of our pets cremated individually. Ebony was picked up by a friend of a neighbour and buried in his garden, before she asked our friend if the cat was hers. She recognised the description.

She sounds like she had a happy life with you all.

[sashh]

Always let the remaining cat see the body, they realise the other one is dead and stop pining / looking for the other one.

sorry for your loss.

[kreechergotstuckupthechimney]

Make sure the cat is far enough down to stop foxes diggining her up. This happened to poor old Debbie. Twice. In the end, I put lime on her and a paving slab over her.

[Acinonyx]

Sorry to hear about your kitten . I would say at least 2 foot - or she may be dug up as others have said. Dh dug a hole 2.5 foot then we hit too much rock. We put some rocks on top to discourage digging. Or you can have them cremated and keep the ashes - the vet can arrange it.

I don't think viewing the body helped our remaining cat because of the vet smell. he's just really spooked - and cries at night.

[mankyscotslass]

We decided not to bury Mac, as there are a lot of foxes round here. We got the vet to arrange cremation.

And seeing Mac hasn't helped our tabby, he is still really distressed.

Am so sorry you lost your kitten.

[BloodySad]

After much thought, we're off to the vets this morning with the body. We made a fake grave for the children. Hope you're OK Acinonyx. as well as you others who have lost a pet. I'm so caught off guard by how upsetting it is.

[ThompsonTwins]

How sad for you. When one of our cats was PTS I took him home and buried him immediately. Within a couple of minutes his brother was sitting on the spot. That was over four years ago. He still goes to sit in that spot but showed no other signs of mourning. We have foxes around but none ever showed any interest.