How do you train a cat?

[Tolalola]

Please be nice, I am fully aware that I am a total cat ignoramus.

We have a young (6mo?) cat who is very sweet, but has a few annoying habits. The main ones are that she

• won't leave us alone when we're eating
  
• gets on the kitchen work surfaces (HATE this)
  

- climbs all over me/the computer when I'm working at my desk.

We've tried saying no and chucking her off laps/surfaces etc. but nothing seems to be getting through so far. Is there any way to teach a cat to stop doing things, or should we just accept that our cat is a bit dim cats are totally untrainable?

[Fluffycloudland77]

All cats become desperate for your attention when you use a computer.

Worktops are ideally placed for the best view of what's going on in the kitchen.

What's on your plate is fair game for a quick sniff before they swipe it/walk off in disgust.

I wash my work tops a lot (you get used to doing it) and put him in a different room if he's being a pest. They all have transient deafness to shouting no.

The cat, on the other hand, will train you untill he has ironed out any disobediant behaviour.

[ExitPursuedByABear]

Cats train you. My cat could even turn my screen upside down by walking across my keyboard. I could never write anything when she was around. Get used to it.............

[DontCallMeBaby]

I have a teeny weeny netbook that is too small for a cat to settle down on, and doesn't purr as alluringly as my old laptop ... :o

One of ours in particular was a bugger for getting on work surfaces. I just took him off the surface again and again and again, and he's just about go the message. I don't bother if he's up on the surface over the dishwasher, but he pretty much knows better than to jump onto the one I'm actually using to prepare food. Occasionally though his great love of ham overcomes him.

[Tolalola]

Gah! That's what I was afraid of. Bloody untrainable. Although, to be fair, when she jumps on the kitchen counter it's usually to get away from our 3 big dogs, who think she's fair game very fun to chase.

She gets sooo outraged when I throw her off my lap when I'm working, it's quite funny.

Chicken seems to be her thing, she's just completely unable to resist it at all, she's like a little grey magnet when there's chicken about.