Struggling to feel positive about puppy

(69 Posts)
Dogownerwithoutacluebuttrying Mon 14-Apr-14 09:29:46

My puppy is just over 9 weeks. The first two days were a total shock despite lots of research beforehand.

Then things settled and were ok but I'm having a tough time today and really struggling with it. We haven't had a single poo accident after the first night and he had done really well but then I found one on the floor by the crate which might have been in the night and dropped out of his quilt on the floor - not sure. He also did a big wee on the floor even though I'd taken him out and he'd done a small one 10 mins before.

He attacks my shoes whenever I put them on.

I feel quite negative about it all and a bit stressed. Tell me it won't always be this way. I find the toilet side of it a bit gross and sometimes it makes me feel sick. He has had soggy poos which hasn't helped.

WeeClype Mon 14-Apr-14 09:32:00

I think every new puppy owner feels like this, I know I did! I actually found my puppy harder work than a newborn.

It does get better, just give it time.

Driveway Mon 14-Apr-14 09:35:57

When does it get easier? (I want someone to come say a date slightly older than my dog.)

I'm still finding it hard at seven months OP. Sorry! Maybe I'm just not a dog person though. sad

Isthatwhatdemonsdo Mon 14-Apr-14 09:38:52

I've got an 8 week old lab. I promise it does get better. I've also got a 2 yr old Goldie and he is amazing. When pup goes for your shoes give him a toy to chew on instead.

Dogownerwithoutacluebuttrying Mon 14-Apr-14 09:42:37

Yes I'm worried I'm "just not a dog person" too tbh driveway.
There are times when he is very sweet and he is a good boy and learning but it's grim at other times.

I feel like I don't get as much time with my dc or dh either. I am being a bit of a moaner probably.

Pizdets Mon 14-Apr-14 09:49:24

Having a new puppy is so hard! DH used to get home from work and I'd ask if we could return him to the breeder - luckily DH is better at seeing the bigger picture than me! Pizpup is now just over 18 months and still mental but much better and easier to be around. A lot of it is just consistency - we do basic training but we also make sure he has to follow simple rules to make the house run well (ie no licking faces, no jumping on furniture) it all seems overwhelming at first but really pays off long term.

I'd say around 7/8 months was when he started improving, although I couldn't really see it at the time and from a year - 18 months he's really chilled out (and coped admirably with being usurped as the baby of the family by pfb) Hang in there, it does get better!

NCISaddict Mon 14-Apr-14 09:56:54

If his poos are sloppy then look at changing his food, what are you feeding him?
My pup is nearly 9 months old and a joy to have now. We set a timer to take him out every hour when he was nine weeks old, we took him out on the lead so he didn't get distracted and made sure we stayed out until he did something.
The biting our shoes we cured by a high pitched yelp as soon as he made contact with our feet and then praise and a treat the second he backed off. Lots and lots of socialisation too, if you can find a calm friendly,vaccinated older dog they are very useful.

Bowlersarm Mon 14-Apr-14 10:04:03

Puppies are hard work. When we got our lab the first few months knocked me for six. And that was after a lot of research, although I hadn't grown up with dogs so had no actual experience. In the first six months to a year, it wouldn't have bothered me if I didn't see him again tbh, as long as he was happy somewhere else.

But then it all clicked, and I got really attached to him. He's 7 now smile. I love him!

So it can work out from a less than perfect start. Although I do have friends where it hasn't worked and they have ended up rehoming their dogs, so clearly it isn't for everyone.

Whoknowswhocares Mon 14-Apr-14 10:15:12

I don't think there is an owner alive that hasn't felt a bit like you do in those early days!

I used to wait sooooooooo longingly for OH to come home so I could get a break!
I thought maybe I'd made a mistake and wasn't cut out for dogs. I was wrong. I now do 3 competitive sports with mine, plus work as a trainer!!!!!!!!!

Seriously, don't judge by the first few weeks. We ALL find them a nightmare!

Dogownerwithoutacluebuttrying Mon 14-Apr-14 10:50:12

This is helping!
As I'm not a dog person it's hard to be motivated by the long term at the moment as it's an unknown!

He seems quite smart (although not smart enough not to poop where he shouldn't today! Not his fault though)

He is on a gentle puppy food and the vet changed him to a tinned food which helped but the latter is not at all good for weight gain so is meant to be temporary. I will see if it all settles today as we had switched him back to the original food yesterday, and if it doesn't will call the vet.

Just feels a shame as for the last 5 nights he'd been fine and then he messed his crate last night. Keeping me on my toes. I will dread going down in the mornings now just in case.

NCISaddict Mon 14-Apr-14 10:54:22

Perhaps look into a complete raw food? That's what we give our Border Collie and poos are very small and none smelly. He also doesn't do as many and has never needed a poo overnight.

chocolatelime Mon 14-Apr-14 11:09:57

Your puppy is only 9 weeks old and such a young baby that it can take time for them to gain the bowel & bladder control necessary for them to be clean inside. He really cannot help it at this age, he is not being 'naughty' and from your description of being clean for so many days, I actually think he is doing very well.

It is a huge change to your life getting a new puppy and there is no doubt about it, even experienced dog owners can find it tough too. Getting into a new routine will take time. Please don't dread going down in the mornings, this is a phase that will pass.

What are you using for the puppy's bed? I have an old single duvet in a cover so that if there are any accidents it is ever so easy just to strip the cover off and wash that. In fact the whole duvet fits in my washing machine, so it really isn't any bother.

Once this 'settling in' period has passed, you will feel so much more relaxed. Do enjoy your puppy, they are only small for such a short time. Hopefully you will soon be going to puppy training classes and then you can compare notes with other new puppy owners!

Dogownerwithoutacluebuttrying Mon 14-Apr-14 11:21:59

Bedding is all washable so that's not a problem.

I know he can't help it. I think I've been thrown as he had done so well every night since the first one and then all of a sudden we were coming down to an accident in the crate and a wee on the floor almost concurrently (although he has had a couple of those a day). Lulled into a false sense of security!

He does seem quite smart as other than this morning or overnight he has done all his poops in the garden and goes back to the same spots.

We have had a fabulous trainer round for a one-on-one with us all here to hear what she said. I will look at classes next.

His second vaccination is later than normal (a new type) so we still have a few weeks before we can go for proper 'walkies'.

KEGirlOnFire Mon 14-Apr-14 11:37:31

Ahhhh it does get better I promise. I never regretted getting our puppy but DH did at first. But she was my first proper grown-up responsibility I guess whereas DH already had a cat who was his 'baby'.

My girl will be 8 this year and I am already worrying that she's getting old (watching Marley and Me last night didn't help as she's a yellow lab). We also have a boy who will be 5 in August, who we got at 6 months old. I struggled to bond with him at the beginning, I think because he was being badly treated so we took him in as opposed to 'choosing' him. But I wouldn't be without either of them now.

Just remember when it comes to walkies that (IIRC) it is only 1 minute per week old they are that you can walk them at first. This was certainly the rule with our labs anyway. They get a lot of exercise through play in the house/garden at this age so walking needs to be kept to a minimum.

Your pup is doing very well with toileting. We were lucky with our girl, not one accident in the house from the day we got her at 8 weeks old (a miracle really) but we used to take her outside before she ate, after she ate, as soon as she woke from a sleep and every half hour in between!! We used the clicker treats for toilet-training and they worked a treat ('scuse the pun).

Good luck OP!

Whoknowswhocares Mon 14-Apr-14 12:43:12

The most important thing with a new puppy's food is to make any change VERY gradually. Swapping this way and that is most likely to make your pup worse in the short term as they have a very delicate system at that age and a sudden change in food will produce the squirts almost guaranteed.
I found with mine that she got loose if she had too much food, or too big a portion at once. Stick to 4 small meals until he settles and try giving a little bit less at each meal just to see it's not an over feeding issue. The packet guides are notorious for being over generous, as the more we feed, the more they sell.
If that doesn't work, then a vet trip to rule out other nasties in a few days would be sensible. Definitely if pup seems off colour in any other way, go to the vet sooner, as they can get worse quite quickly at such a young age

Two weeks in from bringing Eric home I felt stressed and exhausted and overwhelmed even though he has been a good little dog really. He's been here seven weeks now and he is an absolute joy (and I say that even though I've had to bathe him this morning after he decided to sit in his poo before I could bag it)
It does feel really hard work in the beginning I think, now it's more fun and he's a real character who makes me grin, shock, hmm every day without fail.

punter Mon 14-Apr-14 15:32:22

It is hard work and does go on for at least 6 months until they grow up a bit. Coming on here and getting encouragement and sympathy really really helped! I could have happily left him in a field at some points except he was microchipped! Then you get the teenager phase from about 10 months .... But he is now 19 months and we are almost there, most of the time. Love him to bits.
The vet found a bug in my puppy's poos early on and he needed some medication, very common apparently.

hellymelly Mon 14-Apr-14 15:38:51

It really is hard work. Mine has just turned five months, and she only has the occasional accident now, but it took a while (mainly due to the layout of our house, plus the torrential never-ending rain when she was smaller). She has very little recall yet! I do completely adore her though, and it gets easier week by week. Your pup is so tiny, don't expect too much at this stage. It does take a long time to build a relationship with a dog, and if you haven't had a puppy before then it can be a bit of a shock.

mintymellons Mon 14-Apr-14 18:24:32

I hear you, OP! We have an almost 9 week old labradoodle. Been with us just over a week. We all wanted him and both DP and I grew up with a dog so we had some idea of what to expect, but I have been pretty overwhelmed by the demands of a very young puppy.

Our issue seems to be that he doesn't like being left alone (luckily it is school hols and we've been around most of the time) but he just howls and barks like a loon when left.

On the plus side (and somewhat confusingly, he is now doing really well at night in his crate and seems to accept when it's bedtime without a fuss - just wish he could be the same during the day!).

We're now working on leaving him for very brief spells in order to try and desensitize him but it's really hard work.

I'm sure it will get better and we love him to bits, but it had been quite a shock!

hellymelly Mon 14-Apr-14 18:43:03

Nine weeks is too small to leave alone I think.

Bowlersarm Mon 14-Apr-14 18:45:10

I used to leave my 9 week old pup to do the school run. I can't see it is any different to leaving a puppy downstairs overnight.

SteveBrucesNose Tue 15-Apr-14 05:57:18

This is just what I needed to hear, thank you.

My dogs are older adopted dogs but having some of these issues. We don't know the extent of any 'issues' they had before but I'm struggling. In a lot of ways they're well trained but I'm really glad everyone has said this about the adjustment. They've been with us 2 weeks and uk pulling my hair out on a daily basis

Daisybelleblue Tue 15-Apr-14 06:39:07

Getting them used to being on their own will save you loads of problems with SA in the future.
Just being in a different room from your pup. Is good. DoodleS seam to suffer loads with SA, so its great for them to learn from a young age they are OK on their own. IMO

mygrandchildrenrock Tue 15-Apr-14 09:04:38

Our lovely puppy is now 8 months old, we got her at the beginning of Oct half term. It seemed like I spent the whole half term out in the garden, with coats, boots and a brolly! It was cold, wet and miserable. I then spent any time inside in the dining room/kitchen in case of accidents. I resented the rest of the family for sitting in the living room in the warm with the television.
I said to my oldest son, 'remind me next October half term how awful it was this time last year'.
Now, we haven't had an accident in the house since Christmas, on the whole she is very good, we do go to puppy training classes, and we all love her dearly. She brings so much joy to us and watching her run on the beach is just wonderful. She keeps me warm snuggling up to me in the evenings and she is just a treasure.
Sorry if that sounds really sloppy, but I certainly didn't feel like that in the first few weeks/months! (Oh she had really sloppy poo for about 3 months, even though there was nothing wrong with her, just puppy poo, now lovely solid ones that are so easy to pick up)

Dogownerwithoutacluebuttrying Tue 15-Apr-14 10:08:51

Mygrand that is lovely to hear that it is easier. What kind of routine do you keep i.e. how often does she need to go to the loo and what are her overnight hours when she is put to bed and gets up?

YES to the not being able to sit in the living room thing. We keep him in the kitchen as the floor is easier to clean and we can keep an eye on him. I resent not being able to lounge on the sofa. I'm knackered from it all (ridiculous as not been up as much as with a baby! But maybe we are getting old!) and so is dh.

Minty, our trainer said to feed in the crate, send them in loads, especially if sleepy, but for short periods. We have got to the point where he will go in if sleepy no problem at night and if he's in the right mood in the day. If he's playful he barks for a few mins but then settles. Going to try leaving him for 1hr 15 today if he has been to the loo first as need to go somewhere.

So last night we had another overnight poop in the crate. I am wondering if I need to go back to getting up and taking him out in the middle of the night. He has definitely got a dodgy tummy. Reverting to the special vet food for gastro-intestinal issues as that did sort it out mid last week and then when we ran out and were told it wasn't great for weight gain we went back to his normal pup food.

Dreading going back to school and having to get ready and there on time if the dog is still messing his crate.

NCISaddict Tue 15-Apr-14 10:26:42

What time is his last feed at night? We fed at 6.30pm ish as the last feed, bed at 10.30pm after lots of going out during the evening and got up at 6.30am to let him out. Mine was fed in his crate and put in there at fairly regular intervals during the day for enforced sleep otherwise he got overtired and nippy. We used to shut him in for at least 20 minutes after feeding and nine times out of ten he would go to sleep.
I would seriously look at his food, what brand is it? The only time we've had loose stools was once with a minor infection and once when DH thought he's use up the kibble the breeder sent with him.

NCISaddict Tue 15-Apr-14 10:27:28

Also what breed is your dog? Sorry for all the questions.

Bowlersarm Tue 15-Apr-14 10:36:57

What about feeding him earlier in the evening to give his food a chance to work through him before you put him to bed for the night?

I do think the toilet training depends on the dog though. My lab boy picked it up really quickly (although a couple of yucky times when he pooed in his crate and then slept in it so it was all in his ears etc, eughhhh), but my lab girl was about 6 months by the time she was reliable (sorry!).

Dogownerwithoutacluebuttrying Tue 15-Apr-14 15:48:51

I am trying four smaller meals now but missed lunch out altogether to try and get his stomach to settle.
The last poop was mucousy so not great but the vets still said give it two more days on the new food. If he is still like this then we have to take him in.

Dogownerwithoutacluebuttrying Tue 15-Apr-14 15:50:57

With the training I'm pretty sure he has the idea he needs to go outside - he had cracked it with poops and has still done so in the day consistently touch wood. It is that he is in his crate too long at night given the dodgy tummy (until it started again he had been fine for 5 nights) I suppose.

It's not a training issue but an illness issue iyswim.

He is so hungry and I'm sure would like more food but the breeder said to cut down for now.

mygrandchildrenrock Tue 15-Apr-14 16:13:42

Just recently, she can go for several hours without needing the loo, but it's taken quite a while for me to realise that. My dh is retired so home all day, but if puppy goes out for a wee/poo about 6.30 pm, I know I won't have to take her outside until about 9 ish. I still go and stand outside with her, so I know she actually goes. We've always done this and it works for us.

She is in her crate from 10 ish (no later than 10.30) until 6 am. We only get up at 6 because that's our timings, not hers. At the weekend I leave her until 7 or even 7.30 am. She hasn't messed in her crate for months now, although often did a poo in there in the early days.

I know lots of people on here will say to get up in the night and take her out, but I didn't. I'm too old and tired, as you say it was just like having a new born baby in the house! She didn't even cry/bark at night when she'd messed, I just came down to find it in the morning, only twice have I had to wash her because it was so messy.

She did cry at night for the first 5 nights, on and off, but I left her. I read lots before we got her and talked to lots of friends with dogs and realised it's just like babies, there is so much conflicting advice, you have to do what works for you and your family.

She has never gone in her crate much during the day, and can reliably be left in the kitchen/dining room with her bed, toys etc. when we go out.
A colleague at school got a puppy in Feb half term and he is happy to be left in his crate during the day, she goes home at lunch time to let him out and have a quick play. She does have 2 adult dogs though, so the puppy has company.

hmc Tue 15-Apr-14 22:21:36

My pup is 14 weeks old. I felt like this when he was 9 weeks old. Only recently have we all started relaxing ( house training now sorted - that helped! - and finally being able to take him for walks, albeit only short ones)

Dogownerwithoutacluebuttrying Tue 15-Apr-14 22:46:15

Will we get a decent night's sleep again then?!

hmc Tue 15-Apr-14 22:55:46

What do you mean by decent? My 14 week old sleeps from 22.30 - 6.30 with no interruptions (I do crave a lie in). In a while he should be able to last longer but pups don't quite have the bladder capacity their adult dogs do

hmc Tue 15-Apr-14 22:56:27

'That' not 'their'

Dogownerwithoutacluebuttrying Wed 16-Apr-14 08:25:56

Not a midday lie in but maybe 11.45 til 7.45 or 8!

Still got a dodgy tum but luckily nothing to greet us in the crate at least this morning. Just squidgy poop in several places outside including on the back doormat.
Think I'm too squeamish!

Worried about managing the school run on time next week. Hoping we will be in more of a routine then.

WynkenBlynkenandNod Wed 16-Apr-14 08:35:28

It will come, hang in there. I hated Plog's puppy days overall, massive shock to the system and harder than having a baby. We do get lie ins now. I happily woukd have left her with someone who could give her a good home when she was little.

She's a fantastic family dog these days. Off to the vet's in a minute for her to have her ears cleaned under anaesthetic. I feel really sad for her and just want her to be comfortable again bless her. Not quite the same as one of the DC's having treatment but a close second. Never woukd have thought I could feel like that during those awful puppy days. Hang in there.

At about 9 weeks was a low spot here too,it just seemed relentless.Now he's house trained and able to go on short walks it all feels so much easier.
Eric sleeps 11 til 7.30, I get up at 6 though and take him outside but he goes straight back to bed because he waits until the others are up.We had a lie in last Sunday, at 9am he went and got ds up to let him out grin Not sure ds is quite so pleased he has the downstairs bedroom tbh.

Dogownerwithoutacluebuttrying Wed 16-Apr-14 09:47:18

Wynken hope the ear op goes well.

So reassuring to know that it isn't just me being flakey and pathetic and others found it hard!

Off to wash and dry my hair whilst ds supervises. What will I do when he goes back to school?!

If we can just sort out his tummy it'd be so much better. Hard to clear up and he starts sniffing about them and I worry he'll stand in it!

Twooter Fri 18-Apr-14 08:00:13

What food is it? There are loads of different ones that work for different dogs. Had he been wormed? A probiotic may help.

Dogownerwithoutacluebuttrying Fri 18-Apr-14 14:47:14

Hi, Yes wormed and had it before and after.
He is ok on the prescription stuff from the vets. DH accidentally gave him the other food (Arden Grange puppy) this morning and pup went back to having a problem. Fingers crossed it should revert to being ok again now.

Will get a probiotic as that worked for ds when he had tummy issues when he was a baby!

Not quite as stressed now but not feeling the love either. He wiped his not clean bum on the kitchen floor earlier and is very nippy but the latter is just training needed presumably.

mygrandchildrenrock Fri 18-Apr-14 15:00:25

Yes, the nipping is something that should stop soon with training. We just used to always give Lola something she could nip/bite and I mentioned it to the vets when she went for her injections. He said if puppies stayed with their parents for 16 weeks, their parents train them out of it. He said giving them something they can bite is good, but that some puppies need a stern telling off to!

hmc Fri 18-Apr-14 15:00:25

Poor pup - he will sense it if you are not feeling the love as you put it. You have to accept a bit of muck and mayhem with dogs.

Hang in there Eric's lovely now at 16 weeks. Mind you the house training doesn't mean the end of mess unfortunately Eric finds every bit of mud going and has been bathed five times out of the last ten days which has meant the bathroom has been ditched as well as the kitchen every time hmm

GallstoneCowboy Fri 18-Apr-14 16:15:22

Rehome the dog. If two accidents and some shoe chewing have panicked you I really don't think you're suited to puppy ownership. If you got him from a reputable breeder they should be happy to take him back.

hellymelly Fri 18-Apr-14 16:51:56

Agree that muck and mayhem come with dogs, even when they are adults. And your dog is a very small baby. Your expectations of him seem ridiculously high, he isn't going to be reliably house trained for a while yet. My five month old has got the hang of it, but did a wee in her crate last night as we were late waking up, we felt sorry for her, it was our fault completely. She has the odd accident still, and that is normal for this age. Young and old dogs do take more work, and have more accidents, but all dogs will make a mess, sometimes have accidents when they have tummy bugs, might vomit on your best rug, chew your most expensive shoes, and get mud on the carpet, all that is part of choosing to live with a dog. I wonder if you really want a dog in your life after all? Maybe you didn't realise quite what was involved?

everlong Fri 18-Apr-14 17:00:37

I hear you OP.
We have this rosy image of a new puppy sitting sweetly at out feet as we watch TV. .

A new puppy is hard work. Sometimes a bit soul destroying.

He's still very very young. A baby. It's hard to remember that sometimes.

My youngest dog is 10 months old and thinking back to the early months I pulled my hair out sometimes.. He's still very destructive if left for 5 minutes on his own which is annoying.. but he's the sweetest, loveliest, daftest dog and we adore him.

Give your puppy a chance and you will have a true friend.

Booboostoo Fri 18-Apr-14 18:16:07

I have to agree with GallstoneCowboy, the puppy deserves a more loving home, he's done nothing wrong but be a puppy. I saw this thread a few days ago and bit my lip, but come on OP, why did you want a puppy in the first place? Return him to the breeder asap now that he is really small and has a good chance of finding another home before things get even worse.

Bowlersarm Fri 18-Apr-14 18:24:54

I don't agree Booboo.

I could have been the OP. I now love that little puppy I could have written about as the OP has. He now has a 'sister'. They are currently 7 and 4. It has been a sharp learning curve, but they are a huge addition to the family. I love them to bits and it is a huge success story, for us.

It takes as much getting used to having a puppy, as having a baby, as far as I'm concerned.

Keep going OP. It is worth it.

hellymelly Fri 18-Apr-14 22:19:28

I do agree with you Bowler, in principle, my only worry, having had many years with a breed of dog that routinely ends up in rescue at about 12m, (as owners find the teenage stage too hellish), is that a small puppy is easy to re-home and a larger dog less so. So if the op really has just made a mistake and underestimated how much work a dog is, then it is better to re-home now rather than in six or eight months.
I love having a dog and hated the long dogless months between the last dog and this one, but dogs are not for everyone, some people just do find the effort and commitment too much.

Booboostoo Sat 19-Apr-14 07:57:16

Bowler it's brilliant that you adjusted to having a puppy but the sad reality is that many poorly thought-out puppy purchases end up in rescue at around 12-18mo. That is the stage that the puppy has outgrown all its cuteness factor, has missed out on training and socialisation and all its more permanent problems are very apparent.

The OP seems to have a serious problem with very standard aspects of looking after an animal. Anything that needs to poop will poop in the wrong place at frequent intervals in its life. My adult dog had gastroenteritis this week (along with my DD and DP - bliss!) and was doing diarhoea everywhere. TMI alert: one lot, at the vets, was so liquid and projectile it went on the table, the floor, the wall opposite, the bookcase/books and the ceiling of the surgery - shit happens, literally. Meanwhile my elderly cat has had a stroke and needs to be hand fed and followed everywhere to make sure she is peeing and pooing as normal. That's life with animals.

Pizdets Sat 19-Apr-14 08:43:56

I don't think anyone relishes cleaning up poo, especially not the squitty kind, it's just something you do as part of being a pet owner. I complain about my baby's poos and early waking, it doesn't mean I'm going to dump him in a few months' time.

If someone had told me I wasn't up to looking after our puppy at this stage and that I should return him I would have been utterly heartbroken. I didn't feel instant love for him, I found him very hard work, and I think that's really normal. OP, if you are a responsible person and on it for the long term then do believe it will get better. At 18 months our pup 'sleeps through' until 8am in his crate or longer if we let him into the bed in the morning for a cuddle. He has the odd accident but they are v fewand far between and mostly our fault (ie didn't spot him asking to go out). I haven't put hours and hours into training but have been consistent which means his recall is good, he doesn't jump all over people and furniture and he knows how to behave. He's also still extremely cute!

If you're doubting your ability to look after a dog at all then by all means consider returning him, but if you're finding the puppy stage hard and looking forward to things getting easier then rest assured they will!

Dogownerwithoutacluebuttrying Sat 19-Apr-14 14:38:18

Thank you for your advice and understanding.
I know some of you find it harsh of me to have said what I said up thread but I AM caring for him properly and being kind.

I just find it hard and I need advice and support not flaming. I thought that I'd very quickly get over the yuck factor the same way you do with babies. I'm ok picking up the poop now it is more normal and just managed when it was runny. I've cleared a poop from his crate this morning and other days too.

Fine clearing up wee but I struggle if it can't be contained and he stands in it and then walks it everywhere. I will sound flaky to some of you I know. I am being honest.

Hopefully I will get used to it all.

I hear what you are saying about making decisions sooner rather than later. I feel I can manage at the moment but I need to be 100% sure for his sake. I'm trying to dissect what is making me feel so anxious and stressed and it is:
- a. the OCD factor with cleanliness (see above) - if he eats poo I then can't cope with him near.
- b. he is a real handful but that can be sorted out with training and I'm willing to put the work in.
ok and maybe c. I am exhausted from lack of sleep from worrying and late nights/ early mornigns but that should get better too...

Dogownerwithoutacluebuttrying Sat 19-Apr-14 15:21:09

p.s. he hasn't eaten any poo as far as I know (yet) so that was just an example.

Bowlersarm Sat 19-Apr-14 16:46:53

If his eating of the poo worries you, that could be a problem for the future. One of my labs eats an extraordinary variety of disgusting things both on a walk, and at home.

Booboostoo Sat 19-Apr-14 16:57:30

OP I genuinely sorry if you think I was being harsh, that was not my intention. But life will be better for you and the puppy if you give him up now when he has a good chance of finding another home than later on. If you think you can cope and just need to vent, rant and have a bit of support from other people online that is fine; but you did sound at the end of your tether over very simple things.

Dogs eat poo, most often cat, fox, cow, horse and rabbit poo, sometimes their own poo. There is the odd dog that might never eat poo, you never know. All dogs will roll in fox poo, this is the nuclear option, it smells like nothing else in the world and needs to be washed off asap. Dogs are also likely to bring back half a rabbit, a dead bird, or vomit the leftovers of all of the above.

mogsandrovers Sat 19-Apr-14 17:38:54

hi - Congrats on your new pup. what breed of dog is this?

i have 2 dogs right now - one was a pup from 8 weeks and the other a rescue at 1 year...dogs need a few months to settle in and learn your house rules.

some tips:
dont use verbal communication to scold a naughty puppy - use a sharp "SSHHH!" (like the noise a cat makes) to communicate that a behaviour is naughty and the dog will soon learn without fearing you or his name!
trust me it works.

have some time out from your pup by using a crate or baby gates - you decide when the pup gets your attention or has access to you.
he will soon learn.

just enjoy your pup because they wont be a pup for long xx

www.mrsgroversrovers.com

mogsandrovers Sat 19-Apr-14 17:40:40

ps - i haven't read the full thread, but soggy poos is a bad sign that the food hes having is too rich or he has allergies or needs a good worming

if hes 9 weeks old - youve hopefully had him a week...it takes time

xx

hmc Sat 19-Apr-14 20:17:44

Stick with it op and keep us posted. You do toughen up and get used to the grim bits (like poo eating - all my dogs have done that....I found it rank initially but barely react now; although I tell them not to do it)

hellymelly Sat 19-Apr-14 23:08:35

Didn't want to flame you or be unsupportive, so I hope that isn't how my posts came across. I agree that puppies are very hard work, mine did drive me mad at times. You are clearly kind and caring and looking after your puppy really well. I just wanted to say that whilst a lovely idea in the abstract, dog ownership doesn't work for everyone. Chances are you just need to adjust your rosey specs a bit and in time you will really bond with your dog and love him. But if you do feel that it is all more than you expected and more than you can cope with, or want to cope with, then giving a dog up sooner rather than later is better for the dog. This isn't a criticism of you, puppies take a huge amount of time and mopping up wee does get very wearing, there is nothing bad about finding it hard. I do hope that over the next few weeks it all gets a bit easier and you start to feel the love. My previous dogs have been house trained by 16 weeks. (my puppy now is taking longer though).
Do think hard about old age too, my much-missed previous dog had bladder control issues in old age, due to nerve damage in his spine, and he widdled everywhere for the last year of his life. In his bed, all over carpets which had to be removed and binned etc. So factor that into your decision about whether a dog is for you.

hmc Sat 19-Apr-14 23:35:35

Good post Hellymelly

Boudica1990 Sat 19-Apr-14 23:48:45

Aww OP it's ok to feel like that so.stones, I think every dog owner has become frustrated at some point.

Stick with the training and be persistent. Routine is key for puppies, and I'm so sorry to be the barber of bad news but poo/pee accidents happen. Yes there.more frequent as a puppy but even the occasional "adult" dog can get caught short.

My nearly 3 year old cocker decided to mark his territory by peeing on the Dyson upright the other day hmm joy.

You sound like.you care for him.and I'm sure you do just give him time.

I'd been reading on here for years before we got Eric and thought I knew how wearing the early days would be but nothing really prepares you I think if you've never had a dog before. I definitely found it much more difficult than having a newborn because at least with a newborn they wear nappies and stay where you put them.
Now though, I love our little dog, bagging his poo isn't a big deal anymore (I was a lot bit squeamish initially). Yes his desire to eat and roll in horse poo isn't his most appealing habit but he looks so cute when he gets out of the bath so I can forgive him that and I love that he greets me like I'm his best friend every time he sees me, I love how he nuzzles into my neck and makes little snuffling noises and I love how he sleeps at my feet with one paw touching and is so content.
These early days will pass and eventually the good bits get to take over I can't imagine now not ever having a dog in our life anymore so much so we have asked the breeder to give us a ring when she has more puppies in a year or two.

I can see both sides here smile And I sympathise. I really do.

I didn't fully bond with ddog1 for a few months. I had read and researched to death, got confused with all the conflicting advice out there, and so wanted to do it 'right', that I forgot to chill, relax and enjoy our puppy. The mess and the poo didn't really bother me (apart from this rainy winter, with the 'forever mud', I would be lying if I don't prefer this dry weather from that point of view!), and it's helped me with my OCD cleaning tendencies, I am quite anxious and worry about stuff, having a dog and going with the flow more has improved this no end. Once I relaxed.

DH just went with the flow more, and therefore felt the love immediately. Ddog1 adores DH. When I relaxed too, the love came. Now we have two dogs, the cocker is only 5 months, but much easier than even 3 weeks ago. They grow quick, calm down quick, it does pass faster than with DC each stage. Ddog2 is so much my dog, and is such a little poppet, and so good

I found training really helped with bonding, do you do clicker training? That's such good fun, it's really fab seeing the dogs cotton on to stuff so quickly. Plus, you get a well trained dog too smile We do the KC good citizen training too, did gold with Ddog1 but will just do the basics with ddog2, as we know what we are doing.

We worked hard on the 'calm' commands - wait, stay, settle, leave it, bed etc. Having spaniels, they would be on the go all day every day, but it's important that they settle. You don't have to shout at them, find what works for them (usually food) and motivate them to behave as you wish.

Hang in there, or make a decision soon.

The only thing that worried me about your post was that you said he was naughty, or words to that effect. I am not sure that tiny puppies really can be naughty. Just use posiitive training methods, be consistent and he will learn the boundaries.

This is a really waffling post as I am popping out, but just wanted to say something. smile

Dogownerwithoutacluebuttrying Sun 20-Apr-14 15:56:08

More thanks...this is helping and i am feeling more positive if tired!!!
He is still leaving me a poop in the crate first thing.

I know he isn't naughty and just needs to learn. He has been better the last couple of days so is responding already.

Dogownerwithoutacluebuttrying Tue 22-Apr-14 07:42:26

Just returning to say the bonding is definitely coming!
He keeps me on my toes still (understandably) but I feel more positive about it all.

Helped by the fact we had a good day at friends' and he just snoozed outside and played with the children and then a decent night so I feel less stressed but who knows what today will bring smile

everlong Tue 22-Apr-14 08:10:01

Fab.
It's all worth it smile

Booboostoo Tue 22-Apr-14 17:23:38

Glad it's going better!

Have you started puppy classes? They are the best thing in the world!

Dogownerwithoutacluebuttrying Wed 23-Apr-14 12:25:15

Starting them this week!

Struggling to get much work done between toilet visits, playtime, feeds but so be it. Enjoying talking to him though.

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