What job has your dog developed for itself?

(47 Posts)
saffronwblue Thu 29-Aug-13 05:43:35

Mine has a few.
1. Mad pointless barking and guarding of the dishwasher when we stack or unstack it.
2. Galloping round and round the henhouse while I feed the chooks. I just have to say 'chooks' to her and she is off with more mad pointless barking.
3. Rounding up my DC if we are at the park and they go beyond her limit(they are 11 and 14, not toddlers).
4. Racing out of the house with yet more mad pointless barking to try to bring down any plane that flies overhead (we live near an airport).

frownyface Thu 29-Aug-13 05:51:45

aww Safron she sounds like fun smile mine is an alarm clock....5.30 every morning.

Had her nearly 7 weeks now and much better than the 3.30 am starts, but that extra half hour would make all the difference!

frownyface Thu 29-Aug-13 05:53:23

she probably has more but im too half asleep to come up with anything else grin

DalekInAFestiveJumper Thu 29-Aug-13 06:11:02

I have herding dogs. One of them is a really determined little SOB. He has successfully managed to herd sheep, geese, children, other dogs, many wolf spiders, and two actual freaking tarantulas.

He once attempted to herd a rattlesnake and was very put out when I called him off.

If I have both hands full carrying something, he will pace me and bark at anything that might cross my path. I think he's figured out I'm a hideous klutz.

The same dog is the guardian of bedtime. If we are watching a movie that runs so much as a minute past his bedtime he will climb up on the back of the couch and put his head right in my ear and sigh disconsolately over and over again, just to make sure I know he does not approve of this tomfoolery.

My other dog makes sure no crumb ever touches the ground. Drop an ice cube? He is on it! His mortal enemy is the vacuum cleaner, because it tries to do his job.

My older dog is my security officer. He watches the puppy interacting with the children, and if he gets too boisterous, he leaps on him with a grrrr and stops it. He also lets me know if next door have their washing on the line by barking madly at it as it blows above our fence line hmm Our front window looks out on to a footpath, and he can often be seen stood there patrolling for other dogs. Some dogs are allowed to pass without comment, some get a low level humph, and some get some serious barking. There is no obvious reason for his prejudice.

The puppy has decided that he is the new head gardener. He regularly brings me stumps which used to be plants, trailing dirt through the house sad

vvviola Thu 29-Aug-13 09:07:11

Our family dog used to collect the post. She'd hear the postman and te door and go tearing down the hall and return to the kitchen all pleased with herself despite the slobber all over the post

Current dog has anointed herself "protector of mini-viola". When DD1 would nap on my parents couch as a toddler the dog (and come to think of it, their previous one too) would sit beside the couch glaring at anyone who made too much noise smile

nooka Thu 29-Aug-13 09:25:03

My dog polices our cats, if he thinks that they are up to no good or getting to much attention he is right in there sorting them out. He also cleans them both, whether they like it or not (one loves it the other barely tolerates it).

Otherwise his main job is sleeping smile

OverTheFieldsAndFarAway Thu 29-Aug-13 09:33:28

We had a little Jack Russell who liked to escort passers by ( mostly ramblers and dog walkers ) past the farm. He would spend all day sitting on top of our wall like a little sentry, if he heard voices etc he would hop off the wall and wait for them, he then walked alongside them until they passed the farm, about 100m then returned to the wall. He looked at them as if to say, move along now, nothing to see hear. He had quite a few fans in the end. Funny little thing he was.

todaysdate Thu 29-Aug-13 09:39:52

mine clears the table of any left over food..

curlew Thu 29-Aug-13 09:42:22

Cushion and rug tester.

fieldfare Thu 29-Aug-13 09:49:35

When dh isn't home and I'm doing paperwork in the kitchen of an evening, dog comes in at 8 precisely to round me up into the lounge. He likes to cuddle up on the couch with me in front of the tv.

If anyone is ill and asleep on the sofa he plays nursemaid, sitting by the sofa and harrumphing at anyone making too much noise and regularly sticking his chops in your face just to check you're still ok.

GemmaTeller Thu 29-Aug-13 09:57:56

Being general curtain (or blind) twitchers

They have a large beanbag in front of the lounge window overlooking the lawn and driveway - some dogs are allows to walk past, some get grumbled at but if any dare to stop they get full on barking.

Cars that pull up on the road get grumbled at, if someone gets out of the car they get barked at, if someone walks up our drive then thats totally different, dogs run to door wagging tails being giddy as they assume anybody coming to the house is friends or family.

They also snitch on the cats by coming to us and doing the 'hard stare', which in boxer speak is 'come with me', and taking us to whatever the cats brought in or knocked over.

saffronwblue Thu 29-Aug-13 23:45:25

These are lovely. I just love the way they assign themselves these important tasks.

FoundAChopinLizt Thu 29-Aug-13 23:47:27

Meet and greet all guests, by fetching favourite toy and presenting it to guests.

Also has 'register' of all family, not happy until all present and correct, preferably all in the same room.

FoundAChopinLizt Thu 29-Aug-13 23:49:43

Also very effective Hoover for edible items, no need to sweep up after meals ignoring the giant fur balls

A disgusted look if I don't take her for a walk/play with her immediately when I come home. Which considering she's a rescue with an awful first two years I think is v. ungrateful.

GeoHound Thu 29-Aug-13 23:53:48

Gets her own tins of dog food out of the cupboard as a not so subtle hint that she is hungry.

The one about old dogs and new tricks isn't true, somehow the wolf has taught my old GSD how to howl, she's using this new found skill to tell us every time the phone rings, you know, just in case the actual ringing didn't alert us to this fact. The wolf, having delegated the task no longer bothers. The GSD initially howled to tell us the baby was crying when we first brought her home but thankfully quickly gave up on that as it was too frequent so she guarded the door for a few weeks instead. She takes her work very seriously, i just wish I could convince her that barking at anything that even dares to breathe on our street is NOT her job.

New dog has taught small old dog to chase and bark at our cat hmm For 9 years the cat was roundly ignored and now it gets chased umpteen times a day.

Small old dog thinks she is an assistance dog for the deaf, whenever the phone rings (landline or mobile) she goes nuts barking and jumping around.

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Fri 30-Aug-13 00:37:25

Chief telephone howler.
Official food scrap catcher. (I have to be really careful when cooking away from home. Ive been known to toss scraps to non existent dogs!)blush
Head ball herder. (You cant play footie without him round here)
Co pilot. (The front passenger seat is his. Woe betide anyone who sits in it!)

Clean-up crew under DS's chair at mealtimes.

Botherer of neighbours.

Sentry at the door to alert when DH is home.

Whiner/yodler to anyone who has the misfortune of being in her company when I am absent.

Cat cushion.

Toddler hot water bottle.

Chaser of all birds.

BOF Fri 30-Aug-13 01:25:52

Pickle's job is to keep me company when I'm ill. She doesn't leave my side.

everlong Fri 30-Aug-13 08:32:49

Hoover any food dropped
Always knows when I'm sad
Gives the best cuddles ever
When answering door ddog1 always comes with me to assess who's there.

mikkii Fri 30-Aug-13 08:40:55

Our female Belgian Shepherd has appointed herself chief dog sitter. We have family whose dog howls when left alone, so for funerals/weddings/baptisms the yorkie comes to ours for the church bit and our Belgian looks after him.

curlew Fri 30-Aug-13 08:42:48

"Also has 'register' of all family, not happy until all present and correct, preferably all in the same room."

Ours does this. She likes us all on the sofa under a rug eating delicious snacks..........

Warmer Upper of my chair.
Boy Shepherding on walks.
Warner Off-er of lone men who stop and try to chat.

everlong Fri 30-Aug-13 08:51:43

Ah yes my cocker is brilliant and sussing out anybody fishy grin

She will walk slowly past them weighing them up then if she doesn't like something will burst into a ' woo-wooo-wooo ' bark. Good girl.

MothershipG Fri 30-Aug-13 08:53:35

Youngest dog is chief ear cleaner - he'll spend ages cleaning the other 2 dog's ears, he also does mine grin and he'd like to do his other humans' but they are all spoilsports and won't let him.

Ddog1 is park police - whenever she thinks the other dogs are playing too rough (even if they are quite happy) she blocks until they give up and calm down.

Ddog2 let's the other 2 do all the work. smile

froubylou Fri 30-Aug-13 08:59:34

Chief Pot Licker. She can count and won't settle until she has had all 3 you know.

Foot warmer/bum warmer when on sofa.

Guardian against the devils spawn that is squirrils. And also cats.

Reminderer of the fact I have DD in school and she must be taken and collected at specific times. Dog hates afterschool clubs lol.

Informer of DP arriving home. And lets me know before I open door if it is friend or foe visiting.

Eater of all slightly soft or stale biscuits. And stands at side of you when you open biscuit cupboard to make sure you don't forget.

Oh and her favourite job is to take out the empty beer cans from the recycling bin, tilt them so any dregs run out, drink the dregs and continue to check until bin is empty. Bin now lives on top of black bin. And don't leave your coffee cup lying around either as she will test that for you to make sure it's not too hot to drink.

Loves my little whippy.

Makes you wonder what they sense, doesn't it, everlong? It's always men, without dogs, who stop and try to chat to me in remote places - she doesn't do it to anyone else and never when she's with DH. Fine by me! grin

Park Police , MothershipG grin

everlong Fri 30-Aug-13 09:04:01

Yes same here. She always makes them jump too wink

Funny thing is she's old and has hardly any teeth so is harmless but they don't know that!

cleoteacher Fri 30-Aug-13 09:08:12

Making sure she guards the house against the cat so she doesnt come in.
Telling me that my ds needs his nappy changing by sniffing his bum.
Letting me know the dog next door is awake by having a bark off with him in the morning.
Collecting wood for the fire.

Dumpylump Fri 30-Aug-13 09:09:28

Protector of the air space around our house. Birds, planes, any insect larger than a midgie.......and as for the emergency services helicopter...don't get him started on the audacity of it - flying over his garden. The barking and howling is ferocious grin

Casanunda Fri 30-Aug-13 09:10:20

The newfie hasn't really appointed himself a job, apart from grassing up the spaniel! Any time he does something the newf disapproves of, he starts barking to let us know.

The spaniel, however, has appointed himself LOTS of roles! He's bedtime monitor - gets really grumpy if I don't go to bed at my usual time; shoe herder - although he tends to just steal one most of the time; he also likes to keep the floor clean by hoovering up any food type items; and his main role - cheerer-upper! After a really crappy day, he never fails to cheer me up with his ridiculous antics and joyful greetings when I get home from work grin

MothershipG Fri 30-Aug-13 09:12:58

It's quite ironic Beer as in her youth she was one of the worst offenders! Poacher turned gamekeeper. wink

She is especially protective of her 2 younger, smaller dog brothers and another small boy dog we fostered before he was rehomed by a friend.

MrsDeVere Fri 30-Aug-13 09:16:53

My two mostly just sit on the back of the sofa and cover the window in dribble.
It is a transferable skill though. They also do this at my caravan.

My dog, Giro, used to mither me at bedtime as he got older. He would fuss around until I went to bed and he could get all settled.

My dad's miniature dachshuand used to take his socks off (my dad's) at the same time every evening.

Quodlibet Fri 30-Aug-13 09:29:07

Ours used to go round the house counting everyone ('taking the register') if we were in separate rooms. She also used to herd up the outliers on walks, even if they were adults.

Self-appointed hedgehog herding duties in the evening was not very successful but she did give it a good go.

MothershipG Fri 30-Aug-13 09:33:25

But MrsD did your Dad's dog then put them in the washbasket? I can't even train my children to do this!

nooka Sat 31-Aug-13 05:54:48

froubylou our dog is very much a teetotaller. If you offer him any alcohol he growls most fiercely. Especially beer! He doesn't much approve of pop either.

Tea on the other hand must be waited for patiently and licked until every drop is gone.

Happiestinwellybobs Sat 31-Aug-13 07:09:24

Mine is official meet and greeter to all visitors.

He also cleans the floor under DD's high chair until it shines

He is Recycling Assistant. Licks out all the plastic containers before they go in the bins.

Chaser of the pigeons - who eat all the bird food, so a very important job.

And hot water bottle/chief cuddler, which also means that DH has to get me drinks etc. I can't move with a 5 stone dog on my knee grin

GreetingsFrontBottom Sat 31-Aug-13 07:20:45

Our dog 'protects' us from garbage men trying to steal our garbage and gardeners trying to steal our grass.

She also brings her water bowl to you in her mouth if thirsty and food bowl if hungry. Once she was both thirsty and hungry and brought them both in her mouth at the same time! Considering she was a stray desert dog, with no training due to her lazy owners it is quite impressive.

ThursdayLast Sat 31-Aug-13 07:34:21

Our Staffy is horse-seer-offer in chief, and to be fair to him he's never let one in the house yet grin

We also call him the sometimes-apple-core-disposal-unit...he's not nearly as reliable at that!

We live on a farm, so the dogs have full time jobs.

Old boy and pretty dog are VERY responsible for the bullocks in the field next to the house. They actually march up and down along the perimeter fence and do not allow any bullock within three feet.

Most birds are allowed to visit the bird feeders but pigeons are NOT allowed on the lawn.

Neurotic dog protects our airspace. Military aircraft are acceptable, gliders and hot air balloons are not

fat dog is a demon rat catcher. We have never seen a LIVE rat here.

neurotic dog is a brilliant doctor, both physical and mental distress are tended to most carefully

laundry, apparently has to be kept warm if it has been thrown on the floor in front of the washing machine. In fact some used pants clearly need to live in the sitting room blush and the dogs look very cheesed off when I try to put laundry into the machine

One or other dog always accompanies me to the loo, just in case I fall in

I love my dogs smile

ThursdayLast Sat 31-Aug-13 07:51:52

Norks,
Pretty handy yo have a rat catcher...my parents have a farm and when their dog was young she ate the rat POISON.

Not nearly so useful, much more expensive.

thursday sad poor pooch.

fat dog is VERY efficient. One shake and the rat is a goner

Steffanoid Sat 31-Aug-13 08:08:43

our JRT has ensured that no birds fly over our garden, or my mums garden. ..
he also keeps guard over the gard3n from his bed and waits by the front door for dp to come home, an hour before he gets home hmm

saffronwblue Sat 31-Aug-13 09:18:41

How could I have forgotten my dog's loo supervisory duties?

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