dp is sitting downstairs with his righthand dog. we think it may be the end

(76 Posts)
TrinityRhino Wed 10-Apr-13 01:02:02

shes such a lovely dog
but shes so ill now and tonight she took herself off to lie at the bottom of the garden
dp had to carry her in sad

Oh Trinity, how sad. Is she old? Or just v poorly? Have a hug here if you'd like it? Or just a wee hand hold? sad

Blistory Wed 10-Apr-13 01:06:59

So sorry to hear. I hope you all have a peaceful night.

TrinityRhino Wed 10-Apr-13 01:12:24

shes old and has a heart problem
the meds were helping to reduce the collapsing but the weight hss been falling off her for months.

the vet said that eventually her organs will fail as her heart cant manage

she has eaten today and has looked very ill

she has looked ill and been wobbly but happy and with it for a good few months now.

but she has had really good days and then bad days then good days etc

twice we thought maybe it was time to give her her peace but then she has rallied totally and shocked us.

but not today, this is the worst tonight

dp looks heartbroken and wants to be alone with her sad

TrinityRhino Wed 10-Apr-13 01:13:20

hasnt eaten I meant
im sorry im not making much sense

TrinityRhino Wed 10-Apr-13 01:13:42


Blistory Wed 10-Apr-13 01:17:36

You've done what you can. She's safe, she's at home, she has her family with her. It doesn't make it easier to say goodbye but she obviously knows she's loved. I truly hope the night isn't too long and dark for you all.

Oh I'm so sorry, for you and your dp. Your poor girl will probably be getting a lot of comfort from him being with her just now.

TrinityRhino Wed 10-Apr-13 01:20:05

do dogs usually take themselves off to die?

I'm afraid I don't know the answer to that one Trinity. Maybe not if they are warm and cosy and feel safe with someone they love. Perhaps they do if they're injured and outside. I don't know. sad

HappyGoLuckyGirl Wed 10-Apr-13 01:24:12

apparently so, yes. sad I think I read somewhere that it's their instinct to protect the pack as the pack can only move as fast as its slowest member, thereby them leaving the pack maintains their safety. I'm so sorry you're going through this.

ThatVikRinA22 Wed 10-Apr-13 01:27:59

is she comfortable trinity ?

im so sorry.

if she seems in any pain give the out of hours vet a call....otherwise just sit with her and keep her calm and quiet. She will know she is loved. I hope you are all ok and she goes as peacefully as possible. x

TrinityRhino Wed 10-Apr-13 01:29:36

ugh I thought I had heard something like that about protecting the pack sad sad

HappyGoLuckyGirl Wed 10-Apr-13 01:33:03

I think it's the most logical theory. Dogs are amazing, loyal creatures and I know it's utterly heartbreaking when they leave the family, for whatever reason. I wish her a peaceful night and hope you and your DP cope as well as you can.

OldLadyKnowsNothing Wed 10-Apr-13 01:33:20

I have no relevant experience, I had my very elderly dog pts at about that stage. But a friend recently lost his dog, an old boy who died in his arms, so they don't always want to be alone at the end.

TrinityRhino Wed 10-Apr-13 01:36:06

she looks dreadful and is shaking.her eyes look sunken
dp is deciding what to do
he put a blanket on her but she struggled out from under it
I dont know how to help her and ive come away just now as I can't stop crying

TrinityRhino Wed 10-Apr-13 01:36:43

thankyou everyone for talking to me

Blistory Wed 10-Apr-13 01:37:48

Can you call the vet for advice ? It's a tough decision to make on your own.

OldLadyKnowsNothing Wed 10-Apr-13 01:38:32

Does she seem to be in any pain? Whining, groaning? Let her be, let dp observe.

I'm so sorry.

Maybe you might give the ooh vet a call? I know it's awful, but perhaps if she's distressed then it might be time? Again, I am so sorry.

Blistory Wed 10-Apr-13 01:40:21

If she's not in pain, just talk to her, stroke her if she can bear it. If not, just be nearby where she can see you. Trust your instincts and hers

HappyGoLuckyGirl Wed 10-Apr-13 01:41:27

As previous posters have said, its a terrible thing to have to deal with.

I would call the out of hours vet if you think she is in pain or suffering. If she is content sleeping then just cuddle with her and be there for her.

TrinityRhino Wed 10-Apr-13 01:42:07

shes not whining
she doesnt appear to be in pain
dp knows I wilk ring the vet for advice or to come out the second he wants me to
its not my decision to make
she is completely dps dog.
she would walk through lava to follow him
it has to be his decision and between them

HappyGoLuckyGirl Wed 10-Apr-13 01:43:22

Well then I'm sure he wouldn't let her suffer if she was in pain. Just be there for him when he needs you. So sorry.

TrinityRhino Wed 10-Apr-13 01:44:02

and I know he will do the best for her however much it hurts

NandH Wed 10-Apr-13 01:45:10

oh gosh sad so sorry sad
is there an out of hours vet you could call?
we had a dog that did exactly the behavior your describing, she died after having a fit in the end sad it was awful and we wished we'd taken the vets advice an hour earlier and had her put to sleep sad

OldLadyKnowsNothing Wed 10-Apr-13 01:45:23

Then we can only be here for you.

As OldLady says, will hang around for as long as you want.

TrinityRhino Wed 10-Apr-13 01:52:17

thankyou everyone

OldLadyKnowsNothing Wed 10-Apr-13 01:58:13


TrinityRhino Wed 10-Apr-13 02:06:00

dp is cuddling her and she doesn't seem in pain
hes told me to try and get some sleep
he'll wake me if he wants company or she needs the vet

im going to try doing as I'm told <weak smile>

Hope the rest of the night passes peacefully for the three of you then x

OldLadyKnowsNothing Wed 10-Apr-13 02:17:40

My thoughts are with you, and wishing for a peaceful death for DDog. Night, night.

TrinityRhino Wed 10-Apr-13 08:16:51

shes still with us
dp said she slept, then woke and wanted to come upstairs to me
shes lying next to my side of the bed in the puppies soft bed
she still looks awful and shaky but she wagged and picked her head up when each child came in

HappyGoLuckyGirl Wed 10-Apr-13 09:11:30

I'm glad she managed to raise her spirits. I wish you love and compassion for the coming days and I hope that if she does go, it is with peace and her beloved family around her.

RandallPinkFloyd Wed 10-Apr-13 09:18:20

I'm so sorry, maybe ring the vet and see if they will come out to you rather than you having to take her in? May be a bit more expensive but if your DP would rather she went at home it might be an idea.

Hugs to you all x

Branleuse Wed 10-Apr-13 09:27:53

oh im crying now.

Big hugs to you all xx

TrinityRhino Wed 10-Apr-13 10:07:54

thanks all
she asked to go out again this morning, slowly and kept lying down as she made her way to the door but she has just gone to lie down where she was last night

she did have a wee first but then just went and laid down in the same place

its dd2s birthday so dps ex and his sons have just been round to give presents
they have said goodbye to her
dp is with her

Clg199 Wed 10-Apr-13 10:36:05

sad It's so hard. When our dog reached this point in November I'm glad I had OH to point me in the right direction. I knew it was time but wanted to take him to the beach for a lovely final walk, so was planning the day after tomorrow etc. OH gently reminded me that it was always going to feel too soon and it was never going to be easy, but we had to do it sooner rather than later. He was still alert and mobile, but he had kidney failure, felt sick the whole time and wouldn't be getting any better.

We let him sleep on our bed that night, took him for a little walk and then the vet came to our house. It was very peaceful and although very sad, it was a relief for him when it was done. We then drove him to the pet crematorium and got his ashes back the next day - it was wierd but I think it helped with a bit of closure.

OH obviously has her best interests at heart, but he might just need a gentle nudge because the more you love them, the harder it is.

TrinityRhino Wed 10-Apr-13 11:48:23

dp took the pupoy for a walk and I lay in the garden next to her and read to her
then dp came back and said it was time
ive calked the vet sad

Angelico Wed 10-Apr-13 11:53:05

Oh you poor things sad Have tears in my eyes writing this but sending you all a hug. It is so heartbreaking saying goodbye to any person or animal that we love. Thinking about you x

RandallPinkFloyd Wed 10-Apr-13 11:54:33

You're doing the right thing by her that's the most important thing to remember. Although it doesn't make it any easier I know.

She is obviously a well loved, happy dog. This is the final act of kindness you can do for her.

I'm so sorry, I'll be thinking of you x

Heinz55 Wed 10-Apr-13 12:00:36

I'm crying reading this. Your poor pooch. I have an elderly girl too and dread this stage. How are your children tdealing with it??

Vickiplum79 Wed 10-Apr-13 12:06:10

So sorry for your dp and all of you.

TrinityRhino Wed 10-Apr-13 12:16:02

thanks everyone
the kids are very upset
dd2 who is hit the hardest by things like this after her dad is inconsolable sad
they have all had a little time to say goodbye
dd1 who is 13, was crying and hugged me really hard then disappeared into her room
gecko had a cry, a cuddle and asked to watch telly in my bed
dd2 is just crying and crying sad
its her birthday too

I am so sorry. I think it sounds like the right time too, it's very brave and kind of your DH to have made that decision. It sounds as though the dog was very loved and had a nice life, so a dignified death will echo that. Sending lots of hugs and sympathy. x

LtEveDallas Wed 10-Apr-13 12:33:53

So sorry Trin, but you know that you and DP are doing the right thing.

I lost a much loved dog when I was a teen, and what I remember most about that day is that my dad sat with her and made sure she was comfortable until the very end. I hope it is the same for your DC.

Sending you much love.

Tooloudhere Wed 10-Apr-13 14:32:25


TippiShagpile Wed 10-Apr-13 14:34:24


Happiestinwellybobs Wed 10-Apr-13 14:36:05

So sorry for you all sad

MartyrStewart Wed 10-Apr-13 14:45:39

So sorry Trin sad

Your family have done the bravest and kindest thing you could for her xx

riverboat Wed 10-Apr-13 14:52:44

I'm so sorry. I keep feeling tears behind my eyes.

I'm so glad for your dog though, that she is loved so much and is being cared for so lovingly right up to the end.

topbannana Wed 10-Apr-13 15:56:52

In tears here too as I was in your DP's position a few months ago. It was truly devastating but ultimately the right thing to do and strangely a relief once it was over.
Sending you all the very best x

poppymagnum Wed 10-Apr-13 16:01:42

So sorry. Big hugs to you all.

IamtheZombie Wed 10-Apr-13 16:02:01

Zombie ((( Hugs ))) to all of you, Trinity.

TrinityRhino Wed 10-Apr-13 16:23:34

thanks everyone
she went very peacefully when the vet put her to sleep
dp was stroking her and I was holding her head and talking to her

weve buried her and arranged stones over the grave

dp is looking dreadful but he knows he has done the best for his best friend

dd2 is just sobbing

hopefully her birthday cake later may brighten her a little

RandallPinkFloyd Wed 10-Apr-13 16:29:26

Horrible for all of you but the nicest possible way to go for her.

Wish there was something else I could say x

Happiestinwellybobs Wed 10-Apr-13 19:03:25

So sorry for your loss. May she be running free at Rainbow Bridge x

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bassetfeet Wed 10-Apr-13 20:28:53

So sorry to read this Trinity my thoughts are with you all tonight .

Maybe go and get something from the garden centre tomorrow to plant on her grave ? It helps I think .
You did the right and loving thing for her .

Thoughts are with you. We planted a tree when I miscarried, that did help tons. It was a beautiful silver birch and helped mark the memory somehow. It grew tall and strong and was a source of comfort not pain eventually. Hugs. Xx

ClaraOswald Wed 10-Apr-13 20:59:32

I'm sorry Trin.

TaggieCampbellBlack Wed 10-Apr-13 21:00:43


Lucky lucky dog to be so well loved.

hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman Wed 10-Apr-13 21:05:00

For the first time ever I've had tears at a post on MN. Rest peacefully righthand dog.

(((Hugs))) to you all x

JumpingJackSprat Wed 10-Apr-13 21:23:28

Im so sorry for your loss. eventually the pain does become less but its so so hard in those first few weeks and months. youve made the right decision though.

when my first childhood pet died my parents took me to the gardem centre and i chose a beautiful shrub to go in thr garden. Now its a reminder of all the animals we have had over the years. maybe it might help to get your dcs to choose one together in time.

TrinityRhino Wed 10-Apr-13 22:04:29

thankyou everyone

dp got drunk and fell asleep
maybe not the best thing to do but I've made sure he has eaten something and I'll look after him tomorrow

it was always going to hit him really hard but after losing his mum in February I think it has really really hit him hard sad

after we buried her he was talking to dd2 about buying some flowers to plant around the grave
we'll do that soon

his ex is ferreting out all the photos she can find of ddog

RIP Cleo xx

TrinityRhino Wed 10-Apr-13 23:41:20

dd2 is still awake and sobbing on and off sad

SingingSands Wed 10-Apr-13 23:50:38

Oh Trinity, how sad for you all. You will all be exhausted tomorrow, take care of each other xxx

Crutchlow35 Thu 11-Apr-13 09:27:18

Oh my, what a touching thread. Trying to type through the tears. I hope your family are all ok.

TrinityRhino Thu 11-Apr-13 09:46:28

muscles I didn't know I had are aching

digging graves isn't easy sad

Magicmayhem Thu 11-Apr-13 11:07:41

sad story, sad
My DP's dog is 16 and lives with me due to his circumstances, I'm dreading the day he passes on... we just make sure he know's he's loved every day... (the dog that is)

TheSlug Thu 11-Apr-13 12:01:51

Trinity- just read this and am now in tear at work! Just wanted to say well done to you both for making such a hard decision, you did the right thing for your lovely dog. Hugs X

TheSlug Thu 11-Apr-13 12:02:10

Tears that was supposed to be!

1MitchellMum Thu 11-Apr-13 12:51:50

So very sorry. I've been through this four times but it never gets easier. It may be therapeutic to write down all the little memories about and habits that Cleo had. They'll provide happiness in years to come when looking back. Time will heal ... but our precious bridge dogs won't be forgotten. RIP Cleo, you were a much loved dog. x

drummersma Sat 13-Apr-13 11:52:39

When we lost our wonderful dog unexpectedly to bloat, we put together a photobook for us and one each for DS and DD. (Lots of online photo printing sites offer them.) Everyone chose their own special photos to include, so the books are all different and very personal. It was incredibly therapeutic because it got everyone talking and reminiscing about the crazy and wonderful things that our dog had done. And I still can't look through ours, two years on, without laughing and crying at the same time.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now