DH wants to rehome puppy - how will it affect him?

(93 Posts)
AppleStroodles Sun 17-Feb-13 20:13:28

By him I mean puppy, not DH...

He is 10 months old and a labradoodle and is just lovely but DH would like to re home him due to excessive shedding (about half a carrier bag full every 2 days which he says it making DS's eczema worse), separation anxiety (can't be left alone for more than an hour) and nervousness (he wees everywhere whenever a man he doesn't know comes into the house)....

He has said we can keep him if it's going to upset me that much to re home him (it will) but is it fair to keep him when DH doesn't love/want him? I love him so much but I want him to be happy so I'm really torn.

He has been well socialised, has lots of friends and gets plenty of excercise. He is great with our DC and other dogs so I don't think it would be hard to find him a loving home, but how would re homing affect him?

I can't bear the thought of him being in kennels even for a night so would want to re home him to someone we know or someone close by where I know he will be happy, safe & loved.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Floralnomad Sun 17-Feb-13 20:39:27

Is the shedding making your sons eczema worse? Did your husband want the dog originally ? Personally I'd rehome my husband before my dog went anywhere . The separation anxiety can be worked on , have the dog clipped really regularly to reduce the hair issue and introduce him to the men outside on a lead before they come in .

AppleStroodles Sun 17-Feb-13 20:50:33

I'm not sure if it is making his eczema worse or if it is a coincidence.
I wanted the dog, DH warmed to the idea after a few months. I was brought up with dogs but DH has never been around animals before.
He's never been aggressive to our dog, he liked him at first but is now just indifferent.

Do you think rehoming would badly affect our dog or do you think it would be worse to keep him when DH doesn't want him? sad

DH says he's a dog and will be happy wherever he is fed & gets attention... hmm

Oh gosh, what a horrible situation. Hope you are ok.... Is there anything else going on in your life that is causing stress for your dh and he is focusing on your dog as an outlet? Did he want the puppy originally?

Does he interact and bond with your puppy? Could you encourage that? Clipping and grooming will help with the shedding, we have a springer puppy and dh has asthma, tbh he has got used to the dog and is no longer affected but I brush our puppy with a zoom groom daily.

How would dc feel about a re-home? Would you be able to accept a rehome without resentment?

No dog is worth a solid marriage but that assumes no other underlying issues. I had norovirus when we got our puppy and was hospitalised, it took weeks for me to get over it and I struggled with the puppy as I was so wiped out in general. Dh made it clear he loved the puppy but never more than he did me, so I would come first. Now, I can't imagine life without our dog but I wasn't in a position to think clearly at the time.

Good luck, hope you are ok and it works out.

Sulawesi Sun 17-Feb-13 20:53:14

Is it causing massive problems between you?

zookeeper Sun 17-Feb-13 20:54:16

I thought labradoodles didn't shed?

frustratedworkingmum Sun 17-Feb-13 20:55:24

Id be rehoming the DH rather than the dog! He is nervous of men? I wonder why?

I think that it is a disgusting thing to do actually - yes it absolutely WILL affect the dog, your DH shows how little he knows by saying that "he's a dog" - prat!

Firstly, what makes you so sure you will be ABLE to rehome your dog? There is trouble finding homes for dogs without the issues that you and your DH have given him.

Would love to see the look on the dogs home persons face when you cite XS shedding on your reason to rehome? You got a dog when you knew your DS had eczema?

Im sorry if you wanted to be made to feel better, but its a fucking shitty thing to do and will possible end up with your dog being put to sleep.

frustratedworkingmum Sun 17-Feb-13 20:56:18

zookeeper, that is a misconception that many people have, SOME labardoodles don't shed, many do though.

Not sure what you mean by separation anxiety? If a dog is left for an hour usually they are ok to be left longer but not an expert. Does he get distressed before then? Is he crate trained?

The things you mentioned are all sortable with training, honest.

MechanicalTheatre Sun 17-Feb-13 20:57:19

I think you are setting a really bad example for your children if you get rid of a dog because you've decided it doesn't suit you after all.

If you do decide to rehome, please don't get another one in a few years.

AppleStroodles Sun 17-Feb-13 20:58:40

Thanks guys, I'm okay, he is curled up next to me asleep!

Our marriage is good and it's not causing problems between us, DH has said that if it will upset me that much I can keep the dog but he already resents him and I'm sure he (our dog) picks up on that.

I just want him to be really wanted by everyone, not just me, he deserves that, he is such a gentle & happy soul.

Branleuse Sun 17-Feb-13 20:59:18

Do you think if your dog was properly trained he would like it?

Its tricky though, if its making your sons eczema worse, id rehome the puppy

zookeeper Sun 17-Feb-13 20:59:25

frustrated, surely some dogs are ok for people with excema?

(sorry for thread hikack op)

I'm sure op feels pretty shit anyway working mum, without being reminded, she's posted for some advice. Sounds like she's having a shite time generally.

zookeeper Sun 17-Feb-13 20:59:53

excema, even

zookeeper Sun 17-Feb-13 21:03:35

aaaaargh! eczema

The people you need to speak to are here Labradoodle Trust
They will rehome responsibly (a friend's parents have one of their dogs and it's worked out brilliantly) and advise you on possible options.

Training is a great idea. I love training our puppy but hadnt expected dh to love it too, poor sod crawls into bed at night with a look of desperation on his face, 'no more, please'!!

I have taught him to lay dead with the word bang this week, dh thinks its hilarious. Puppy has forgotten all other training at his awesomeness at this trick but its helped bond even further if you understand??

frustratedworkingmum Sun 17-Feb-13 21:08:20

I guess it depends what the child has an allergy to, but just because a dog doesn't shed doesn't mean it wont cause an allergy. Its a difficult call. But this isn't about that really, they have just decided that the dog is too much like hard work from what i can see.

needsastrongone I don't knwo what you want me to say - I would like to say "dont worry OP, rehome your dog, there will be people queuing to take him on and give him a loving home" but the reality is that is very unlikely. The "gentle and happy soul" already has anxiety and nervousness issues around men - this is not a natural behaviour, it will have had to come from somewhere. The reality is that a dogshome will struggle to rehome this dog as it already has issues - they struggle to rehome dogs with no behavioural issues. So the likelihood is that the OP will rehome it to a "friend" who wont be able to cope with the behaviours and pass him on, the behaviours will get worse and the cycle will continue - the dog WILL be affected. That is the best scenario - the worst scenario (but probably the more likely one) is that the dog will spend months in kennels and may end up being put to sleep. So no, im not going to pat her hand and ease her guilt.

If my DP did this, it would make me reassess him as a person and id have to quesstion if i wanted to be with him.

TheSecondComing Sun 17-Feb-13 21:08:33

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AppleStroodles Sun 17-Feb-13 21:09:42

Do you think re homing is the best option for him though?

We have had help from the vet who is a behaviorist for his separation anxiety but he still howls and barks when we go out and the neighbours complain to DH.

AppleStroodles Sun 17-Feb-13 21:11:26

Thanks, I will call and talk it through with the labradoodle trust tomorrow and see what they think

Hmm, that sounds like I'm pro-rehoming. I'd normally be loathe to suggest putting any dog into rescue, but a fundamentally happy healthy young labradoodle, carefully rehomed through breed rescue, probably has about as good a chance of finding a good second home of any dog.

The preferred option of course would be to find a reputable trainer (loads of threads in Doghouse on how to do this) and work on the behaviour issues yourself. Just because some doodles shed (and ours does, copiously) does not necessarily mean they are allergen triggers (just as because some do not shed means they are hypoallergenic) - it all depends on the particular dog, and to a degree, on the particular human. How sure are you about the excema link?

Please don't try and rehome privately. The dog obviously has some behaviour issues and doodles are quite vulnerable to appealing to the wrong type of owners (puppy farmers, those wanting 'accessory' dogs etc).

TheSecondComing Sun 17-Feb-13 21:15:55

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Branleuse Sun 17-Feb-13 21:17:07

i think labradoodles wont be that hard to rehome, as long as hes not aggressive. Theyre mental dogs though.

MothershipG Sun 17-Feb-13 21:17:41

If you could be absolutely certain of finding a good home for your dog I actually don't think rehoming is that traumatic an experience for many dogs. But the dog is your responsibility and I'm not sure how easy it would be to find a great home for a heavily shedding, adolescent labradoodle, with possible separation anxiety and nervousness/house training issues?

frustratedworkingmum Sun 17-Feb-13 21:17:43

It would in an ideal world, but he has behavioural issues, he is not going to be easy to find a suitable home for. If this were my dog i would have to do my very best to make sure it worked. I would be having allergy tests done to find out once and for all if the dog was excacerbating any allergies and base my decision on that, but this may not have a good outcome for the dog.

I took on a dog about 10 years ago now that was the age of your dog - he was from battersea, he was an absolute nightmare, bit me, couldnt be left. Battersea told me this was quite common in dogs of this age that owners got rid of, it happens alot, they hit the "teenage" years and those puppy traits aren't quite so attractive in a six stone animal and people get rid. Kennels full of them, its heart breaking.

Have you got a DAP diffuser for the dog? This MAY help the separation anxiety, it releases dog pheremones which are calming, we got this for our dog when he was displaying stress behaviours. You realise that his shedding could be due to stress too? What are you doing to combat the separation anxiety?

Why is he nervous of men? Have you had him from a puppy?

frustratedworkingmum Sun 17-Feb-13 21:19:45

But branluese, the dog is nervous and that often leads to aggression, as an ex vet nurse it was always the nervous dogs that we were most wary of.

I think you need to stand up to your DH on this one, you both agreed to the dog i assume even if it wasn't his idea - its your responsibility.

AppleStroodles Sun 17-Feb-13 21:21:52

I just shudder at the thought of him alone in a dogs home. I would have to be sure he was going to a good proper home, I would rather keep him with a moody DH than let him go to a dogs home. I would also like to meet the family he was going to which is why I thought it would be good if I could rehome him locally, but if the labradoodle trust are reputable then that would be the best option.

Can a dog be really happy when re homed or does it cause mental health problems??

frustratedworkingmum Sun 17-Feb-13 21:22:55

thesecondcoming she should have maybe considered her sons excema before she got a dog

frustratedworkingmum Sun 17-Feb-13 21:26:30

A dog can be happy rehomed, my dog was very happy for the rest of his life. I took him in wiht his issues (food aggression in a rotwieller) and worked on it. I wouldnt take your dog on though, not with nervousness issues.

I'm sorry if this is not what you want to hear but its the sad truth of the matter.

I woudl definately contact the labradoodle trust as they MAY have suitable, vetted homes, lined up. I can only repeat what others have said about the whole rehome locally thing. how can you be sure tht the new owners will be able to cope with yoru dogs issues?

AppleStroodles Sun 17-Feb-13 21:26:34

He's always been nervous of men, he's better than he was but as a tiny pup he would growl and bark, I don't think he likes the deep voice and height. Hes never had a bad experience, only with other dogs and he just bounces back from those.

He's never bitten anyone and is okay with some men who he will follow around and lick, others he barks and wees all over the floor and then hides in his crate.

AppleStroodles Sun 17-Feb-13 21:29:18

He's absolutelyfine with men now when we're out, he never reacts badly, he only gets nervous in our house and that's not with every man. Maybe he feels his territory is being threatened?

frustratedworkingmum Sun 17-Feb-13 21:29:42

Has your DH beaten the dog? That is not a natural behaviour in a pup sad

Maybe rehoming him would be better after all

AppleStroodles Sun 17-Feb-13 21:34:52

No he's never beaten him

TheSecondComing Sun 17-Feb-13 21:35:00

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

frustratedworkingmum Sun 17-Feb-13 21:37:57

I agree that IF the dog is causing the allergy then id rehome too, of COURSE the DS has to take priority, but i would need to know that this was the case and be paying for an allergen test.

The poor DS is going to be devestated too if they get rid of the dog.

Workingmum. You make fair points, apologies. I had a puppy wobble at Xmas after having been so ill, struggling to recover for weeks and feeling I couldn't cope. Dh was wonderful and put me and my feelings first, despite adoring the puppy from day one. Our puppy has no issues, apart from playing dead for laughs at every opportunity at present!!! Not the same situation at all, a short term feeling on my part, just wondered if op's dh was feeling same. I love our dog to distraction now btw!!!

frustratedworkingmum Sun 17-Feb-13 21:39:22

How do you train the dog? Does your DH shout at the dog or try to "dominate" him - show him who's boss sort of thing?

AppleStroodles Sun 17-Feb-13 21:39:24

DS has never had a problem with dog hair before, the doctor said unless he was allergic then it wouldn't affect his eczema otherwise we wouldn't have got a dog... I don't know whether his sudden heavy shedding is the reason, DH thinks it is, it could just be a coincidence.

AppleStroodles Sun 17-Feb-13 21:41:49

We train him with treats. I spoke to the breeder about it and she told me our pups Mum used to wee on the floor when she was told off so perhaps it is genetic nervousness????

frustratedworkingmum Sun 17-Feb-13 21:41:55

Lets hope so needsastrongone - i think puppy wobble is very common smile I had it several times with my juvinille delinquent ten stone puppy that tried to eat me once when i tried to get in my own car shock But with a lot of love and patience, he came good. I have to admit he was sitting in the car waiting to go back to battersea more than once smile

TheSecondComing Sun 17-Feb-13 21:44:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

frustratedworkingmum Sun 17-Feb-13 21:45:52

Dogs tend to hve two big moults a year so could it just be that the dog is doing a big moult at the moment?

I am incredulous that a breeder bred from a dog that used to urinate with fright when she was told off!! Totally irresponsible - was she a proper breeder? as in kennel club registerd, lots of experience, breeding good examples of the breed or was it abackyard breeder? I reputable breeder would never breed from an excessively nervous bitch. I bet she charged a fortune for the dog too sad

frustratedworkingmum Sun 17-Feb-13 21:48:12

Yes, you are right there TSC - i would be having allergen testing done. Also,are you absolutely vigilent about fleas (i admit im a bit crap about keeping up to date with frontline etc and only tend to deflea when i notice live fleas) as it can well be the flea dirt that your DS is allergic too?

AppleStroodles Sun 17-Feb-13 21:50:39

I actually feel really angry about the breeder, I don't think she was entirely honest. I also am now quite anti poodle cross breeding due to the number of irresponsible breeders, it has been a real eye opener. I had no idea that there was a difference between BYB and reputable breeders, I don't think many people do TBH.

Floralnomad Sun 17-Feb-13 21:51:29

TBH you said your husband said keep him if it would upset you ,yet your posts look increasingly like you want to rehome . If you love your dog ,the fact that your husband is ambivalent wont affect him . My husband has very little to do with our dog except if I'm out and I'm sure my dog feels very much loved and wanted.

frustratedworkingmum Sun 17-Feb-13 21:52:14

My DP is allergic to cats, but not all cats, i would love to have a cat and have even joked about getting a hairless one but its not actually the fur that many folk are allergic too, they are allergic to the saliva, but of course cats are always cleaning themselves so their fur is covered in cat spit smile

AppleStroodles Sun 17-Feb-13 21:52:38

I just want him to have a happy loving home where everyone in the house wants him there

Love and patience seems to work well working mum, the slightest hint of frustration on my part and our puppy can sense it, he will work for quite a time if he senses my enthusiasm, said enthusiasm wore slightly thin after extracting the 17th piece of horse manure from his mouth today on our walk!!

Seriously, dh has bad asthma. Most thought we were really stupid getting a dog. Dh insisted not. Took about two of three weeks, but now he doesn't react at all to him. Although, I groom the puppy daily and will keep his fur short. Our gp suggested its quite normal to get used to your own dog, although other dogs will still be a trigger.

frustratedworkingmum Sun 17-Feb-13 21:55:11

This is one of the reasons i am anti designer dog, no registration, much more likely to get irresponsible breeding, cashing in on peoples desires for specific aspects of a dog.

Wouldn't be kc registered as labradoodle is a cross breed essentially?

TheSecondComing Sun 17-Feb-13 21:57:01

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Oh, and anyone thinking of getting a doodle, spoodle, or any other cross, check out HERE first.

MyHeadWasInTheSandNowNot Sun 17-Feb-13 21:58:56

I would also get his eyes checked. We had a dog with separation anxiety all her life - no amount of training or taking her to the doggy psyc helped, when she got older her eyes were checked because she had cataracts and we found out she had a problem with her retinas, the vet said it could have been responsible for her separation anxiety sad

He sounds adorable - I don't know how you go about it, but I think you need to get your DS checked with your dog and see if it is causing his excema to be worse or not. Do you think if you prove it isn't, your DH will be happy for the pup to stay and will go back to adoring him? I think your DH is just in 'problem solving mode', prioritising your DS (naturally) and pragmatically suggesting re-homing the dog and distancing himself from him.

frustratedworkingmum Sun 17-Feb-13 21:59:49

absolutely needsastrongone, which is why all of these backyard breeders are onto such a good earner. It takes GENERATIONS before you will have true breeding, the genetics are complex and it will take YEARS before you can "design" a dog that doesn't shed and garuntee this trait. Unless of course you can identify which genes are involved in shdding/not shedding and genetically modify accordingly .

Of course she wasn't a proper, registered breeder.

A labradoodle is a cross breed and not recognised by the kennel club, therefore he cannot possibly have come from a good, responsible breeder. Cross breeds like these are fashionable money spinners and in many instances are badly bred.

Rehoming a dog should always be a last resort, IMO. Not just because your DH is ambivalent. You made a life long commitment to your puppy when you bought it and to me, that means you just don't dump it on someone else. Work through the dog's problems. They will be fixable, he is too young to have them ingrained in him yet. The skin problem for your DS isn't proven and could well be a red herring.

Rehoming centres are overflowing with beautiful dogs whose owners have dumped for someone else to sort out. Their resources are not infinite.

Oh, and yes you would not expect a labradoodle dam/sire to be kc registered unless they were first generation - i.e the Labrador or Poodle. Labradoodles are cross-breeds so not KC eligible.

BUT kc registration is NO guarrantee of responsible breeding. Better to look for things like strict limits on the number of litters each bitch has/chance to meet pup with at least one parent in home environment/stringent health checks (hips and eyes esp with doodles) on breeding dogs/thorough to the point of nosiness questions about you, your work and family life etc

ithaka Sun 17-Feb-13 22:01:28

My DH doesn't like my dog. That's life. He is 12 now, we had him from a puppy. I know DH keeps hoping he will die soon, but he just keeps going, getting smellier and grumpier. That is family life - you all just rub along and DH's occasional whinges about the dog are water off a duck's back to me. I wish DH didn't play stupid computer games, but there you go. You can't go through a marriage never doing anything that annoys your partner (DH& I have been together for 20 years by the way, so the dog thing is certainly not marriage wrecking).

MechanicalTheatre Sun 17-Feb-13 22:03:10

Are you interested in advice for how to make this workable?

Or do you just want to rehome?

poodletip Sun 17-Feb-13 22:18:53

If the dog is really affecting your son's health then you should re-home or your son will be suffering for years. I'm not sure how you could prove it one way or another though. Please re-home responsibly if you do, through the breed rescue would be a good way to do it.

If you forget the health issue then no I don't think there is any need to re-home the dog just because your DH doesn't love him. As long as he is loved and cared for by someone then it's pretty irrelevant tbh.

What I would do though is address the issues he has, especially the nervousness. You need the vet to refer you to a member of the APBC www.apbc.org.uk/ they will take a full history and advise accordingly. As for the shedding that can be minimised by getting the dog clipped. I get my dog clipped off every summer to keep him cool even though he is a breed that is not normally clipped. A bonus effect when it is done is the reduction in hair around the house! You can always get a coat for the dog to wear when it is cold and it would make it much easier to live with him.

LadyTurmoil Sun 17-Feb-13 22:57:01

I think there are a lot of things going on and you need to think it through and prioritise:
1. Have you seen a continual worsening and/or more frequent, serious flare ups with your DS's eczema? To anybody here who doesn't know about eczema, it's awful, to be itching and scratching until you bleed, your skin feels so tight and horrible that you wish you could shed it like a snake, so DO NOT trivialise it, please.
2. Is the shedding the biggest problem (whether or not connected to your sin's eczema - do you think it's something you can do more about? Sure you're doing everything possible already...
3. I'm sure you could improve on other problems with help of a good trainer (which I'm sure you'd find with help of MN!)
4. Sounds good idea to talk to Labradoodle Trust anyway - they may be able to advise on trainers as well.
Wishing you good luck.

merrymouse Mon 18-Feb-13 05:35:16

Does your DH really want to rehome the dog, or is he just going through a bit of an adjustment period now that you have a dog rather than a puppy?

frustratedworkingmum Mon 18-Feb-13 08:18:45

Not trivialising eczema at all - but the OP could have allergen testing done to find out if he dog is making it worse. Might be expensive though, but then i suppose if you can afford a labradoodle, you can afford to have the child and dog tested to see if it worsens her sons condition. Those dogs are stupidly expensive, for what effectively is a mongrel.

lotsofdogshere Mon 18-Feb-13 08:35:13

Another recommendation for the Labradoodle Trust. 10 months is a very common age for dogs to need rehoming. Labradoodles are generally lovely, gentle dogs, but there are so many myths about them - they usually shed, are definitely not for people with allergies, and are usually very bouncy dogs who need a lot of physical and mental exercise. Speak to the trust, you'll get good support and advice about your doodle. If you do decide to rehome, the dog will be placed with foster carers and when ready, moved onto adoption after matching with the right family. BUT so many doodles and poodle crosses are being rejected by owners, it is sometimes necessary to wait for a vacancy with a suitable foster carer. good luck in finding a solution

greyvix Mon 18-Feb-13 09:38:42

Re the weeing, our dog used to do that, and still does occasionally with people she loves and doesn't see very often. We assumed it was excitement. We just put her outside, and the visitor greets her on the patio.
OP, I sympathise. My DH ignored our dog for the first year, but loves her now. The separation anxiety must be difficult, especially when the neighbours complain.

Lilibel Mon 18-Feb-13 11:58:28

I hate when poodle crosses get slated!!! I have a 16 month old cockapoo. She's as mad as a hatter, but is extremely well behaved; can recall from any distance; has never had a toilet accident; adores everybody; has a range of party tricks smile OK, so I paid a significant amount of money for her, but that was my choice. Both her parents were KC registered, and PRA tested. She is definitely the dog of a lifetime, and I wouldn't hesitate to recommend the cross to an active person. Any dog is only as good as the time put in by the owner.

My DH wasn't mad keen on our dog for the first year. Puppies are hard work. Now he's 19 months old, DH actually enjoys him. DS2 has eczema, and when we first got the dog he did have a flare up. It has stabilised since, but it helps massively to have hard flooring which can be swept/mopped daily and the dog isn't allowed upstairs. Actually, everyone but me was mildly allergic to the dog initially, but are now able to cuddle and roll around the floor with him with no ill effects. There was an adjustment period. I groom the dog regularly, too, to keep any allergens to a minimum.

Sulawesi Mon 18-Feb-13 12:30:33

My dog is 10 months old and yes they are very hard work at this time, bit like toddlers, maximum energy but no sense whatsoever!

Hard flooring for the dog and he's not allowed anywhere near soft furnishings, much easier to keep clean and hair free (relatively).

Agree re clipping that would make massive difference.

Worrying re him being afraid of men, can you get a behaviourist in to assess or help with this?

I don't agree that rehoming would traumatise him forever, he is a young dog and would adapt easily. Mine goes off to the dog sitter without a backward glance. The problem is finding that good home of course.

Did you ring the Labradoodle Trust OP?

Not sure that anybody is slating the dogs themselves and your breeder sounds very responsible Lilibel, but there's a shed load of money to be made from these designer 'breeds', they are big business. People are making a packet from selling what is essentially a cross breed for hundreds of pounds.

I wager a guess that my pedigree Springer, who I paid a premium £450 for, given we were extremely careful about selecting a breeder, didn't cost as much as your dog and he was at the expensive end of the spectrum! That galls me somewhat, not your very particular circumstance but the whole industry.

Again, I am not making a judgement about you specifically honest(!!) but why didn't you choose a poodle or cocker? Not my business at all but it does interest me why people don't choose one or other breed.

D0oinMeCleanin Mon 18-Feb-13 13:22:39

i assume you've already considered grooming and clipping the dog? it's just you've not mentioned it. i hope that is because it is such an obvious thing to do.

Also, assume that your breeder bred to keep one of the litter Lilibel, which would be the only responsible reason to breed, regardless of cross or straight pedigree etc? The mother of our Springer has already been spayed, having had the one litter, who the breeder wished to keep a puppy from (as she did her mother and grandmother, who they still have).

Otherwise, then yes, they were doing for money however responsible smile

Labradorlover Mon 18-Feb-13 13:29:20

You could try Petal Cleanse lotion, as well as clipping for the eczema. Second the suggestion for Dap/Adaptil, combined with training, to help with seperation anxiety.

AgathaF Mon 18-Feb-13 14:14:26

I always wonder that too needastrongone. Although as the OP has said, she didn't really appreciate the difference between reputable breeders and BYBs. I think that must be the case with lots of people who buy these dogs, unfortunately.

Fair enough agatha, my post was more replying to Lilibel, as she raised the issue of people being negative about cockapoos or doodles etc. I have no issue at all with them personally, know a few lovely ones, but have issues with the whole designer breed industry making a packet out of selling renamed crossbreeds, however lovely! I just wonder what's wrong with the original breeds too!

Hope op is ok today and manages to sort out her situation so all concerned end up happy, including the dog.

LadyTurmoil Mon 18-Feb-13 14:33:58

i'm sure you're trying lots of things for the eczema already: cotton clothes and bedding, non-biological washing powder, limiting cheese/chocolate, various creams and bath oils. But have you tried Pure Potions Skin Salvation? It's an all natural cream formulated by a mum who had a daughter with severe eczema www.purepotions.biz/ You want to get some and try with a patch test - many people have recommended... (not working for the company, honest!) but think it's worth trying alternatives to steroid creams.

AppleStroodles Mon 18-Feb-13 17:31:08

We are keeping him!!!

I just can't bear the thought of losing him and DH knows that and has said he will make an effort to bond.

He has short hair and I brush him daily, wondering whether he is going through a coat change of losing his Winter coat?

We are as on top of the eczema as we can be, will ask doctor about getting tested for dogs, although he was fine before our dog started shedding so heavily.

AppleStroodles Mon 18-Feb-13 17:35:04

LadyTurmoil - Thank you for all the eczema advice, that's really kind smile

Floralnomad Mon 18-Feb-13 17:50:50

Even if he has a short coat it may be worth speaking to a good groomer about a clip , mine is short haired ,it just gets thick but I keep him clipped so that its easier to manage when he rolls in crap and gets muddy everytime I take him out .

AgathaF Mon 18-Feb-13 17:54:34

Apple Poodles get their adult coat when they are around a year old, give or take a little, so maybe yours is shedding so much because this is happening, and it may hopefully settle down a bit in a few weeks? Obviously with Poodles, you don't get the shedding part when this happens, but maybe that comes from the Labrador part of him?

<clutching at straws emoticom>

frustratedworkingmum Mon 18-Feb-13 18:46:06

wahooo smile thats great news stroodles!! You are making the right decision. Its very easy to say that you want to rehome and animal, quite a different thing to do it!

Good to hear it stroodles. Lots of advice here and in the Doghouse on finding a good trainer, so if you can cure the separation anxiety - is he crate trained - and work on the nervousness/weeing then you'l have a much happier family dog for everyone to enjoy.

AppleStroodles Mon 18-Feb-13 19:13:52

Thanks guys. Yes he is crate trained but he actually doesn't like his crate much, he prefers to be in the thick of it with us, he (reluctantly) slept in his crate up until last week he now sleep son the sofa and seems much happier. I leave him out of his crate when I go to the shops now too and he seems happier with that arrangement!

AppleStroodles Mon 18-Feb-13 19:15:10

We did do all the right things with the crate training, he just doesn't seem to like it, unless he feels scared (of a strange man in the house e.g plumber) then he will head for his crate.

DizzyHoneyBee Mon 18-Feb-13 19:16:42

if it's causing problems for your son's health then you have to rehome the dog. He will settle; we got a new pet from a rehousing centre, at first she was shy with us and with the pet we already had and was very quiet but we got her during the school holidays and after a week she was fine. Now you wouldn't know that we hadn't always had her.

tabulahrasa Mon 18-Feb-13 19:47:50

He won't know or care whether your DH actively wants him or just tolerates him...as long as your DH is not unkind to him, he'll just get on with being a dog.

Good news! Glad that there is a happy ending in sight. I am sure you can work on the other issues with some additional help if required.

GreatUncleEddie Mon 18-Feb-13 19:57:28

Is the recent move to sleeping on the sofa what has exacerbated your son's eczema? (Presumably he sits on the same sofa?)

LadyTurmoil Mon 18-Feb-13 20:23:48

BTW, does DH have eczema? I do and my daughter (not my son) has inherited my rubbish skin to a certain extent. There is guilt involved in knowing you are the parent that's passed it on to your child, iyswim, maybe your DH could be feeling that, but passing it on to "blame" the dog? Good point uncleeddie about the sofa - makes huge sense if it does correlate. Also, have you had the heating up higher than usual recently, could increase dog shedding and is crap for dry/sensitive/eczema skin...

Inthepotty Mon 18-Feb-13 20:40:58

OP.

I have a 18month old 'doodle', who I took of my stupid SIL when he was 16 weeks.

He sheds. Loads. I keep him clipped regularly, mop the wooden floors daily, Hoover 2x daily, damp dust every other day, wash vet bed bedding 2x weekly at 60. My DSS is allergic to some dogs, but fine with our boy.

Labradoodles are very quick, clever, dogs, who require lots of mental stimulation as well as excerise. This means I do a wee bit of training every day, whilst waiting for the kettle or whatever. Formal obedience classes 2 hrs a week, WT training 3hrs a week. It is a lot, but I made a commitment and it keeps my dog (and me!) happy. It means he sleeps the days away at home, so is fine to be left.

The anxiety with men can be worked on, easily. Every man he meets from now on, ask them to throw food on the floor. This way your dog associates them with good happy things. (Hotdogs chopped up good for this!) Basically revisit socialisation, don't shove him into situations, let your your dog feel confident and happy. For the love of good (and get ready as this is a big big bugbear!) don't let men lean over him to rub his face, or belly, pat him or generally get in his space. My rescue collie bitch is very man-nervous, I get fellow dog walkers to feed her, window cleaners/postie to offer treats, and any visiting male to my house is provided with treats at the door to scatter around. The following men to lick at them sounds like what my bitch does when she's nervous, appeasement behaviour to say 'I'm not a threat! Don't hurt me!"

Labradoodles are a dream to train, food led, playful. Lots of threads on reducing SA. Is your dog crate trained?

This has been a long rambly post, sorry, but every time someone says 'oh a young labradoodle will be easy to rehome' I think that that labradoodle would be taking up a rescues space and resources. Of which there are very very few.

Turniphead1 Tue 19-Feb-13 19:50:39

Stroodles - try rubbing him with Petal Cleanse (google it - suggested by Allergy UK) each day. Groom him outside. Ensure your son doesn't cuddle him wearing his pjs. Don't allow dog upstairs or at very least not in your son's room. Damp dust all areas dog is in each day or as often as you can.

HTH re excema.

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