Dog being put down this afternoon, what do I tell DC??

(23 Posts)
maisybobbins Fri 19-Aug-16 11:32:37

Can't stop crying, am in bits. Had to tell DC I have a terrible cold. Our wonderful beautiful dog is being put to sleep this afternoon at 5:20. I have no idea what to tell DC age 4 and 8. They know she is very poorly, I've told the older one I think she is dying. But when DH takes her to the vet this afternoon should I tell the children to say their goodbyes or would this be too upsetting for them. I will be in pieces obviously. Please help.

Tokelau Fri 19-Aug-16 11:48:36

I would let them say goodbye. I experienced the death of a family dog both ways as a child. It was much worse to be told that our dog had been put to sleep and was gone. I found it better, although obviously upsetting, to see the dog first. The problem is though, if they are upset, you don't want to traumatise your dog. I would try to keep it short, just a quick hug and pat, and then leave.

Sorry about your dog. flowers We lost two beautiful dogs to cancer last year, it is heartbreaking.

DearMrDilkington Fri 19-Aug-16 11:50:11

I agree let them say goodbye but keep it short so the dog doesn't get anymore stressed. So sorry.flowers

MrsJayy Fri 19-Aug-16 11:55:29

Aww im so sorry yes do let them say their goodbyes to dog it will just confuse them if he just goes away , of course they will be upset that will upset you but I do think it is important children are not protected from things like this they are entitled to be sad at loss of a pet. I am so very sorry its heartbreaking loosing a pet flowers

maisybobbins Fri 19-Aug-16 12:06:06

Thank you for the replies. And yes I agree, my gut instinct is to let them say goodbye. Shall I say she is being taken to the vet to die peacefully so now is the time to say goodbye? I have just told them I think she wil die today so it is becoming real for them. They are now making some flowers for her. I'm still in floods. Horrible horrible cancer.

AnchorDownDeepBreath Fri 19-Aug-16 12:07:41

Yeah I'd tell them that doggy is very poorly and won't be coming home. Let them say goodbye and take photos or cuddle dog or whatever else they need to do today. Luckily, children tend to be rather matter of fact about these things - it'll hurt you far more.

I am so sorry. It's a bastard disease and it's never easy to say goodbye.

PotteringAlong Fri 19-Aug-16 12:07:45

You must let them say goodbye. How would you explain the dog not coming back otherwise?

The book "goodbye mog" explains the death of a pet well.

MrsJayy Fri 19-Aug-16 12:11:16

Yes I think she might die today explains it well they sound lovely children. ((Hugs)) for you

habibihabibi Fri 19-Aug-16 12:13:37

I'm so sorry . It's a heartbreaking decision to make.
Hope you have a nice weekend after such a horrid Friday .

situatedknowledge Fri 19-Aug-16 12:16:22

We have had to do this 4 times now. We explained it to them when they were small as taking the dog to the vet so that the vet could help her die more comfortably and without pain. We all cried, but it really seemed to help them to know that the vet was doing a fundamentally good thing.

So sorry.

SpuriouserAndSpuriouser Fri 19-Aug-16 12:24:37

I would tell the the truth - your dog is very ill and is suffering, and when this happens with a pet you have to take them to the vet to be given a special medicine to help them die peacefully and without pain. Then let them say their goodbyes.

flowers for you OP, I recently had to have my dog put down and it was really difficult. It sounds like you are doing the right thing.

maisybobbins Fri 19-Aug-16 12:38:52

Beautiful dying dog now has pretty paper flowers by her side, a sticker picture by my youngest and a card by my eldest which reads "it was nice having you around, I am sad it is your turn to go, lots and lots of love". They totally get it. And yes you're right pp they are quite matter of fact about it, sad but dealing with it well. Unlike me. Still in bits!

MrsJayy Fri 19-Aug-16 12:41:45

Aww Masie that is beautiful

newpup Fri 19-Aug-16 13:28:16

I'm so sorry. It is so hard to say goodbye. sad

Tippytoes13 Fri 19-Aug-16 14:11:51

I agree, let them say their goodbyes before you take your dog to the vet. I'm so sorry for your loss, we lost a cat two years ago and I couldn't stop crying for days, my children were very upset too and they put flowers on his grave with me. Hugs flowers

AnchorDownDeepBreath Fri 19-Aug-16 14:26:24

Aww, that's so lovely. Bless them.

Go easy on yourself. It is tough. I took my dog seven years ago and it still hurts to think about... he had heart failure and his quality of life was disappearing fast. He had a second wind as soon as we walked into the vets, he wanted to walk by himself, he flirted with the receptionist and peed on the christmas tree. I sobbed so much when they were getting him ready that they said I could take him home if I wanted, and see how it went.... I didn't, because it wouldn't have been fair, but it was horrendous. He went very peacefully whilst having his ears tickled.

It was very, very weird going home to his bowl, and lead, etc. I put them under the sink so they were still 'around', but not so visible.

I hope it's as easy as possible for you all later flowers

Tokelau Fri 19-Aug-16 14:42:12

Keep the picture and card, Maisy, it will bring back lovely memories when you talk about your dog in the future. smile

I'm guessing that we're all crying a bit while adding to this thread!

maisybobbins Fri 19-Aug-16 15:35:03

She's just died. We didn't even manage to get her to the vets. Her head in my lap. Cards and paper flowers around her. She was breathing heavily the last couple of hours and i asked DH if we could bring her appointment forward. Now I feel so guilty we didn't take her a couple of days ago. No pain relief for her. They can't tell us how distressed they are can they. I'm glad it's all over for her though. She was just amazing. Even took herself out for a wee this morning and was playing happily in the garden a couple of days ago. My beautiful brave girl.

Thank you all for your replies, it does help knowing you are all out there. Think I might be crying for days too!

MrsJayy Fri 19-Aug-16 15:43:32

Masie I'm sure she didn't suffer they seem to go into a not with it state and drift off bless your little dog she was very much loved at the end ((*Masiefamily*))

Tokelau Fri 19-Aug-16 15:45:05

So sorry. flowers

It's nice, though, that she went quietly in her own home. Hope you're all ok.

AnchorDownDeepBreath Fri 19-Aug-16 16:03:40

Don't feel guilty. It sounds like she was ready and you timed it almost perfectly. She got to go out at home, with you, where she was loved.

flowers

MrsJayy Fri 19-Aug-16 16:37:36

I dont want to derail Masie we had a dog die at home we were taking her next day and she just passed away in her sleep vet said she probably went peacefully still the guilt was awful

2kids2dogsnosense Wed 31-Aug-16 18:17:40

Maisie -- There is never an was way to lose your wonderful dog. You did what you thought was best, and TBH, dying at home, with all of the people she loves and who love her, is really a wonderful way to go.

There is a lovely book by Adrian Reside called "The Rainbow Bridge" about the huge gap the loss of a dog leaves and how animals go to the "Rainbow Bridge" to wait for their people (who live much, much longer than they do)>

Of course whether you want your children thinking something like this depends very much on your religious beliefs, but my children found it comforting.

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